If Demigods had iPhones…

Messed up conversations, twisted sayings, and hilarious auto correct texts.

Conversation 1: Percy and Annabeth

Percy: Leaving in 5. Preheat the ocean to 425.

Annabeth: Haha. That might take a while and severely damage the fish supply…and your Dad… :)

Percy: Fuck this phone, I mean *OVEN*

Annabeth: Haha ok Percy.

Conversation 2: Jason and Piper

Piper: Come over to cabin 10 if you can

Piper: Leo's outside trying to fuck the door and it isn't pretty.

Jason: what the hell are you talking about?

Piper: Just what I said

Piper: Fix the door! Oh my gods! Not the other thing. Leo would never do that.

Jason: LOL im ROFL! Ok, I cant be there til 2

Conversation 3: Katie and Travis

Katie: Hey! You wanna come over to cabin 4 and play with my clit?

Travis: …is this a trick question?

Katie: Oh gods! No I mean vtech!

Katie: I just got a vtech and I know you wanted one

*Katie sends pic of vtech*

Travis: so your saying that I cant play with your clit…

Conversation 4: Connor and Clarisse

Connor: hey Clarisse! How'd you do on the Archery test?

Clarisse: I failed, prissy. :(


Clarisse: you know what else is a fail?

Connor: Wut

Clarisse: Hermes's condom.

Connor: -_-

Conversation 5: Connor and Travis

Connor: hey did you know mom's trying to get in touch with you?

Travis: yeah she pissed me off yesterday, so I stabbed her.


Connor: Have you lost your freaking mind?

Travis: I meant I ignored her. I didn't stab her. Fuck you auto correct.

Connor: oh my gods.

Conversation 6: Thalia and Nico

Thalia: Blahhhh I feel like total crap. I'm so sick.

Nico: Aw I'm sorry to hear that babe.

Nico: if you want, you can come over and lay on my cock.

Thalia: Gods you have such a one track mind. I said I'm sick.

Nico: I swear to the river styx I meant couch.

Thalia: hahahahahahahahaha 3

Conversation 7: Leo and Jason

Leo: I just porked my hot Archery teacher

Jason: I hope you get an A in her class now

Leo: poked, on facebook.

Leo: I did not pork her

Jason: big diference bro

Leo: duck this auto cumulonimbus

Jason: LMFAO that's a rain cloud

Conversation 8: Leo and Piper

Leo: how was breakfast? What did you get?

Piper: it was good, I ate a nutsack.


Piper: Fuck off phone, I ate the short staff


Leo: sounds filling. Lol

Piper: shut up. -_-

Conversation 9: Clovis and Annabeth



Clovis: look it's a whale

Annabeth: you have no social life, do you?



Clovis: baby whale

Conversation 10: Piper and Leo ( I know, but this one fits it well)

Leo: Hey… just wanted to let you know that Jason is sleeping around


Piper: Is it Drew? I knew it. I'm going to fucking castrate him. Can you help me put the fire?

Piper: he's fucking insane, isn't he

Leo: wow sorry I meant he is sleeping already. Not around-

Leo: I'm sorry I freaked you out…

Piper: Gods damn it Leo

So? How do you lick it? God dammit, see? Typo. I mean like. He he…. I was just wondering… if demigods really had iPhones, but iPhones has this barrier, so the monsters wouldn't hear the signal. Ha, be brave my little marshmallows,