A/N: This is somewhat rushed and incomplete, because I have part of the second part of this chapter done but got writer's block ;u; (As in I have the scene and stuff all planned out but I need to find a way to put it into words.) So I thought it best to at least post something. AND THE REVIEWS YOU GUYS MAKE ME SO HAPPY :D Warning: following this sentence there will either be a bunch of useless rambles, replies to reviews, or stuff already mentioned in chapter one, so you can skip to the story if you are not interested.

Chelseaj500: I know that feeling, when you try to write a normal fraternal fanfiction and it still ends up as your OTP xD And the villain is closer to Gilbert, somewhat, but that's all I will confirm for now. ^_^;; It would suck to know everything before any real action starts. XD

Moon made of Ink: Thanks :D

The Windy Thing: I didn't not take it badly, worry not, I just found it amusing and tried to make sense of what you meant. I'm not very good at this ;p Homestuck reference? I actually just started reading that so I'm not sure what you mean XD

Sora Moto: Vital region invading does not count as harm, no. That will come later ;D

AmayahAki: Uh…. Thanks? And no, no 5 dollars, I need to save up 20 dollars to give to Slenderman. :p

Night13: This is fluff xD

Electric Plum: Thanks! :D /eats cookie

Anonymous: Actually, he didn't freeze, I worded it awkwardly XD I meant before Gilbert would freeze outside, but I can sympathize with you on cliffhangers. I practically refresh my fics when they have a cliffhanger. ;u;

Asa-Taiyou: I'm trying to find the strips actually, I'm just technologically (search engine specifically) handicapped -_- I need to find pics of Bulgaria though. Anyway, thanks!

PancakeEntrails: Wow… if I sound stupid then I apologize, since I never tried ghostwriting. My essay skills are rock bottom. XD

Simple Shimmers: I actually want to try such a triangle. But am still deciding who to do on Matt's side. Gil has quite a few people I could try him with, but Matt's the hard one since everyone else seems taken or uninterested xD I'm thinking maybe Arthur, just a little crush he has. (I somewhat support this pairing, just like PruCan more :3)

Treegona: Someone's going to find out, and for the second part, you are half-right, and half-wrong. (duh, just stated the obvious xD /smacks self) Gil didn't send a commission actually, but I'll say that he doesn't actually know, but is suspicious. It's someone else completely random that figures it out.

Yuu Kawashima: I do that. The try to keep myself from laughing thing. XD

Iceestar: the BFT are naturally weird xD

Below is copy pasted:

Warnings and Pairings: Rated T for shounen ai and crude language. PruCan, GerIta, Spamano, and USUK are all I've decided on for now. I may end up randomly shipping the others and do crazy love polygons including the ones I've already set up above, unless I really dislike a pairing (i.e. America x Belarus. I don't see it happening) or if I think they shouldn't be broken (i.e. SuFin. Do not argue!). May contain glaring plot holes and grammatical errors due to run-ons. Sorry! They are slightly OOC in the beginning for later plots.

Summary: Matthew operates as a ghostwriter in his school. When forced to pretend to be Gilbert's boyfriend, he ends up getting more than what he bargained for.

Disclaimer: If I owned Hetalia, Finland would actually completely return Sweden's feelings. They're such a cute couple.


Chapter 6: Englishman's Demise

Gilbert didn't seem to be fazed at all by the cold air, even though he was wearing only a long sleeved shirt, a scarf, and a pair of the tightest jeans Matthew had ever seen. Quickly dragging his friend inside and adding a short reprimand, the Canadian quickly got to work and made Gilbert sit on the couch.

"I can't have distractions," he insisted while trying his best to seat the German.

Not explaining anything, he set to work in the kitchen, since now that both his mother and Gilbert would have pancakes, he had to make more than usual. His efforts were in vain when the albino sauntered into the kitchen anyway. "Kesese, lemme see what you're doing."

Matthew abruptly turned around, apron and all, and scolded, "Making pancakes, and if you bother me one more time I'm not going to anymore!"

At this the boy quickly stepped out of the room and shouted, "I'm an awesome little angel, now fucking hurry up with the food!"

Ignoring the goading remark, he continued to do what he did best (or best after writing essays and being invisible) with minimal distractions from the albino. The German had impeccable timing—he rushed into the room the moment Matthew had finished two plate of pancakes. As he grabbed one and the nearby bottle of syrup, he was chastised by the Canadian. "At least be useful, take this plate to Alfred!"

Grumbling, he started to nibble on the pancakes on his plate while picking up the other and slowly made his way upstairs. "Left or right?" he shouted through bites of food.

"Turn left, and don't you dare go into my room on the right!"

Frowning that he had probably just tempted the other, he ran out the kitchen and took a peek upstairs. Gilbert seemed to be trying to break down the locked door to Alfred's room, and even through all of this the American was still snoring. Somewhat relieved, he ran back and finished the last two.

Sneaking out one more time, he saw that Alfred had woken up and conceded to opening the door, anything for food. The door shut closed behind the two and Matthew assumed they were talking about games or something along those lines. At least Gilbert was trustworthy for now.

As he knocked on him mom's door, he found her in her bathrobe with her hair tied up. With a small pat on his head, she gratefully accepted the plate and retreated back into her room. It was a late work day today, and she intended to enjoy every minute of it.

Taking the last plate and an abnormal amount of maple syrup, probably only rivaled by Gilbert's, he made his way upstairs even though he didn't believe in walking and eating at the same time. However, he absolutely had to know what Gilbert and Alfred would be interested in. Knocking politely on the door, he waited for a response but there was none. Some shouting noises could be heard inside and he somehow hated his docileness again. Knocking just a bit harder, he expected no one to answer, and after deciding to try one more time by kicking it, the door suddenly swung open and he almost tripped. Almost.


Gilbert had freaked out when he saw a falling Canadian, so he quickly leapt forward to steady him. In turn, Matthew felt the pancakes sliding off the plate so he panicked and attempted to reach his other hand to catch them. Since any food except Arthur's food could not be wasted, Alfred had lunged forward to try to help the mess the other two were in, but after some awkward footing, all three fell to the floor with a thud.

"Crap, that was some really messed up version of twister!" the American moaned as he tried to disentangle himself.

"Are the pancakes safe?" Matthew tried to ask, but his face was buried into his brother's back.

"What did you say?" the German questioned while he tried to pry off Matthew's leg from his stomach.

Gasping for air, the Canadian shoved his brother away temporarily. "I said, are the pancakes okay?"

"Shit, that hurt bro!" Alfred squawked while fumbling around. He accidentally shifted his leg and soon his foot was in Gilbert's face.

"Get your fucking feet outta the way, they smell!" The albino was relatively thin, so he pulled himself out as much as he could with both brothers' weight on top of his legs. "Kesesese, I think your pancakes are freaking magical, they're still on the plate!"

"Oh, thank the holy maple god." Sine Alfred was only making things worse, the somewhat smaller two wiggled their way back upright. The pancakes were indeed still fully intact and on the plate, but the overload of syrup was on the floor. Sighing, the blond picked up the plate and said, "That's a waste, but really this was lucky."

While his brother and friend were busy arguing over whose fault it was (neither had the heart to blame Matthew for it), the Canadian scanned the room and his eyes rested on the computer screen. So they were playing a first person shooter game. He actually had played that one before, and no matter what Alfred claimed, his twin was actually the better one at it.

Eating the rest of his pancakes and knowing that both his secret was safe and that they had a penchant for videogames, Matthew made his way back downstairs.


If Alfred knew about their little relationship, he didn't show it. All he did was scream at Gilbert and tell him to go away while begging Matthew to ignore Gilbert. Oh no. He was not falling for that trick again. However, the American had craftily avoided any mention of his twin's sexuality, but the Canadian felt he was giving his brother too much credit. It was all for the better, since if he asked, things might get messy for real, since everything seemed too turbulent between Alfred and Gilbert despite what Francis said.

Matthew had safely made it to school on the bus. He had made a point of leaving earlier with Gilbert, since Alfred was still in his pajamas and had hardly gotten ready yet. However, he kept on sending worried glances over to Gilbert, who was still hardly wearing anything outside one layer of clothing. It was okay in the bus but what the moment they stepped outside it would be cold.

After they had left and had barely walked a couple of feet away, the Canadian gave up and stopped in the middle of the path as other students milled around them. Pulling his red hoodie off, he glared at Gilbert while the German was giving him a bemused expressions. However, he widened his crimson eyes when he felt the article of clothing being forced over head.

"Holy—what are you—"

"Merde, just put it on! It's cold!" The Canadian was struggling fiercely against the older boy, trying to wrestle the sweatshirt on him.

"But you need it don't—" his face contorted into laughter once he saw what Matthew was wearing under the hoodie. Finally relenting, Gilbert allowed himself to put it on. He was still choking with laughter that someone would actually wear a sweater under a sweatshirt, and it was one of those really plain looking ones that he saw Arthur wear.

Blushing furiously, Matthew snapped, "Birthday present from Arthur, and don't you dare take that off unless you find something else to put on."

Oh. Well that explained its uncanny resemblance the to Brit's clothes. The albino still felt the need to complain, so he pseudo-whined, "Mein gott, now I look more like a Canadian than a real Canadian! Look at this freaking maple leaf on the back!" Craning his head backwards he tried to see the decoration he always saw while staring at Matthew.

"Shut it, Gil."

They made their way to their first class together, amidst a sea of whispers.


It was a relatively pleasant and normal morning, and Matthew found himself at the back of his history class doodling in a notebook. This class he shared with both Lovino and Arthur; apparently the latter was behind in history for the very same reason his friend was. They were learning about U.S. history and both boys shared their sentiments on how much they hated the America-centric subject. Nevertheless, Arthur made a decent but not great grade while Matthew was just scraping by.

Luckily for Matthew, even Arthur seemed to want to doze off as the teacher droned on about politics. Quietly tearing a sheet of paper out, he folded it and scribbled on it.

Hey, do you want to come over today? Alfred won't bother you. I hope.

Jabbing the person in front of him, he whispered, "Lars? Hey Lars, give that to Arthur will you?" They were conveniently two seats away from each other, with the Canadian's odd friend in the middle.

The Dutch turned around and deadpanned, but he picked up the paper and slapped it onto Arthur's desk. Somewhat surprised, the green-eyed boy glanced back and saw Matthew wave. Scowling slightly, but only slightly, he looked up to see that the teacher was practically boring himself with the lecture and wasn't paying attention, so he scratched out a reply and tossed the note backwards.

Why are you passing notes in class? I thought you knew better. Sure, but if that wanker shows his face, I'm going to kill him.

Shaking his head in return, he mouthed "you won't do it" while Arthur scowled harder.

You won't text in class, this was the next best thing to do. Do you know where Gilbert lives?

This time, it was Arthur's turn to give a look of pity.

Have you, dear sweet Matthew, actually resorted to stalking people? Actually, I do not know, but I think either of our oh-so-sweet Italian brothers or the frog should know very well.

The Canadian flushed a deep red when read the note, but then furiously replied.

No, I'm not a stalker! Francis took me to Gilbert's house once and I forgot how to get there. And he walked here this morning, I'm wondering if it's far.

Lars had tossed the note to Arthur, then added a comment, "If you two are going to exchange love letters, you can request a seat change since I don't want to pass notes forever." The Canadian hit his friend disapprovingly while Arthur made a point of tossing the paper over the Dutch boy's head.

Yes, yes, of course. I'm sure it isn't, the frog practically lives only ten minutes away from you and if he bothers to visit on a daily basis, it would probably be within a kilometer or so. I see you're wearing my wonderful birthday present?

Matthew could practically hear the sarcasm in the other's accent, but he decided to stop and stuck his tongue out. Sometimes even the more reasonable people could act a bit childish.


When lunch had started, he followed Lovino to the lunch table again while Arthur claimed he had something to do. Matthew took a glance around to table to see how many people he could name. Surprisingly, all were familiar. Starting on his left and moving clockwise around the table, the people he could name were Elizaveta, who had taken the liberty to scoot a little closer to him probably to ask how much progress he had made; Feliciano and Ludwig, since the Italian was practically on top of the German; Heracles, who was sleeping soundly; Francis, who was apparently waiting for Arthur, Gilbert, or Antonio to drop by; Yao, a junior who was looking disapprovingly at some of the lunch trays; Im Yong Soo, a Korean freshman who seemed to be set on bothering his Chinese companion; and the very Lovino Vargas who was currently not pleased at all. The Italian was moody since apparently neither Antonio nor Bella was there to accompany him. The Belgian girl was apparently some distant cousin of Lars and acquainted with Antonio and Lovino, but Matthew had failed to see her yet.

"Fucking stop 'cuddling' with the potato bastard," he snapped finally at his sniveling brother, who buried his face deeper into a flustered Ludwig's chest.

"Ve, but fratello I don't want to, Luddy is nice!"

And to Matthew's surprise, Alfred had dropped down in the space between him and Lovino. "Hey bro, you know these guys?"

"Well, I was here yesterday if that's considered long enough."

"Duh, I'm not blind or anything," the American said while rolling his eyes. Shouting across the rather noisy table, he asked, "Kiku, can I come over for games?"

The Japanese boy looked unsure but hesitantly gave a nod. "Hai, but may Im Yong Soo-san come over too? He says he has a good Korean game."

At the mention of his name, the hyperactive Asian yelled, "I'm coming over with a good game, Aniki, since videogames originated in South Korea, da-ze!"

"Hai… Alfred-san, please excuse him for his—"

"Whoa, no problem there, I just know with my freedom sense that this guy Yong-soup guy is awesome!" the blond said while flashing a bright smile and sticking out his fist.

The favor was returned when the Asian jumped up and bumped fists with Alfred. "Hey Albert, brofists originated in South Korea, da-ze!"

It was lost on both of them that they had gotten each other's names wrong, but at this point no one even cared anymore.

Arthur suddenly came running in panting, with a panicked expression on his face. Francis raised an eyebrow, but then he saw Antonio come over from a different direction.

"Hola amigos!" Lovino had jumped the Spaniard and started to scream, but Matthew ignored them and asked Arthur what was wrong.

"Oh, I—bloody hell, I'm going to be dead before the week's over!" the Brit wailed.

Alfred snorted and said, "Nope, if you die you'd come back to haunt me."

Surprisingly, Arthur ignored the comment and continued, "Both of my cousins are transferring to this school. On different sides of the family, but—oh the gits, the both of them, they absolutely hate me!"

"Cousins? You have cousins?" the Canadian asked curiously.

At this Francis was strangely quiet for once, and seemed thoughtful. Yao frowned a bit from the side and turned away, only to find the Frenchman thinking.

"Yes I bloody do, and they're my living nightmares," the blond bemoaned. "As if the frog and idiot weren't bad enough."

"I thought you hated your brothers more than anything," the American remarked for once without insulting the other.

"Them too, yes, but they are thankfully all older than me and in college, with the exception of Peter, who is still in secondary school. My cousins are my bloody age, and might be in my classes. I may as well buy a coffin now."

"Mon cher Angleterre, do you by any chance mean cheri Angelique for one?" Francis spoke up.

Paling a bit, he stuttered back, "B-bonnefoy, you actually know her?"

Nodding in return, he smirked to see what the Brit's reaction would be. It was not what he expected.

"O-oh, well would—bloody hell, I'll let you off a beating once if you can distract her for me!" Arthur attempted to offer.

"Quoi?" the sophomore asked as he raised an eyebrow.

"Er, well, you know, do what frogs do best. Enchant princesses?"

Widening his eyes in realization, the Frenchman chuckled. "You want me to woo your cute little cousin so she doesn't kill you, oui? I would be glad to take up that offer even without a price, she has beautiful legs and who knows what's—"

"Sh-shut up frog, just don't get to the details!" the sandy blond panicked uncharacteristically.

Matthew questioned his friend, "How much does she hate you that you're willing to negotiate with Francis to save yourself?"

The Brit shuddered. "I don't bloody know, when we were little she had some sort of a crush on me, then apparently I 'broke her heart' and now she's out for my blood. I didn't even know she was interested in me that way, I was bloody three when I first saw her!"

"And who is your lucky other cousin?" Elizaveta asked, probably hoping for a boy for more action. "Oh, and is he gay?" she very indiscreetly added for good measure.

Arthur choked a bit, and Yao shifted in his seat. Kiku was silent, while Im Yong Soo and Alfred were hitting it off. "No, I don't think he's gay."

The Hungarian's disappointment showed but she persisted, at least knowing she could try to bend a straight boy. "Well, who is he? You didn't answer."

"I think I can answer that, aru. He's my cousin too," the Chinese junior dropped suddenly.

The brunette whipped her head around quickly, eyes as wide as saucers. "Does he look like you? Only with giant eyebrows?"

The Brit stiffened at the indirect insult, but then supplied, "He's always looked more like the Asian side on his family."

Yao frowned and said, "Aiyah, he really has thick eyebrows. Not as thick as Kirkland's but still pretty thick for us." He sighed wistfully. "It was fun remembering the old days, aru. Me and the British boy argued over who got to play with our cute cousin. Too bad he didn't like either of us…"

Arthur was blushing, and he quietly said, "Yes, I did tease him a bit and didn't let Yao play with him. Because Yao wouldn't let me try his family tea when we were little!"

The Chinese boy glared and snapped, "You were little and clumsy, you would have broken my porcelain tea set!"

"Bloody hell, what were you, like nine while I was seven? I had been drinking my own tea for three years!"

Alfred stopped and commented, "You people are weird, drinking tea when you're only like, four."

The Hungarian no longer paid attention as she drooled over the many possible available boys she could hook this kid up with. "Who would he look good with," she mumbled.

"Well, it's not fair you bribed me with candy, aru! I didn't even care about anything but candy!" Yao shot back at the Englishman.

"That's your own bloody fault for getting so addicted to it!"

Francis felt the need to interrupt and commented, "We still don't know his beautiful name, non?"

Arthur scowled and said with probably purposeful mispronunciation, "Jia Long. Or Wang Jia Long as these Chinese people say." Yao scoffed but said nothing.

Everyone else had long tuned out or had gone on with their own conversations, and all the while only Matthew was worried about where Gilbert had went. Quickly getting up, he made his way out of the cafeteria. Alfred would finish whatever food he hadn't finished, but he had a nagging feeling in his gut that he needed to see Gilbert right now.


A/N: Lol yes, crappy Opium war references and I like torturing poor Artie. I'm pretty sure Seychelles does hate him though, and I put Arthur being cousins with Hong Kong and Hong Kong cousins with Yao… it barely makes sense but it'll have to do. About HK hating England, I'm just putting it there for good measure, since he was a bit of a bully. Worry not, he does not hate England that much, just wants to drive the poor Brit crazy. xD

That really weird tripping scene... popped into my head. I apologize for any excess gayness that exuded but since you are reading a gay couple fic I assume you don't mind. xD

South Korea asked for America's help in the war, so I assume they should be good friends.

Where are the Nordics in this chapter, or any other character that hasn't appeared yet? Worry not, they will come soon. :3

And I have decided to stop posting these next chapter spoilers since I always end up not following them. Stupid head! Dx

Review :D If you post a pairing you somewhat like, I'll try to incorporate a teeny tiny bit of interaction in the story. (i.e. I ship PruCan and USUK but I like UKCan as well, so I'm planning to go somewhere with this. I don't ship RusAme, but they interact quite interestingly, so I plan to do something with that. And the FrUK moments are self-explanatory.) Yes, even with the characters I already paired, I will post tiny moments to at least somewhat please you. :p All I ask is don't… ship something absurd. (Like Estonia and a computer… it made me laugh but I am appalled at the idea of something actually like this.)