Spike and Dru

Drusilla 's Soul: Part V



When I get the call, I don't have the slightest idea of who it might be, especially calling at this hour. The clock on the bedside table says it is approximately three o' clock in the morning and I'd just got back, hoping to finally get some sleep. I hope it's an emergency.

"Hello?" I whisper into the phone, trying not to wake Kennedy, who sleeps soundly at my side.

"Willow. Hi,"

I recognize that voice instantly.

"Spike!" I say aloud, surprised. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"You make it sound like we're speaking face to face. But anyway, Dru had a vision, we're pretty damn sure it's about the Initiative,"

"The Initiative. Oh God. Should I get Buffy?"

"No. No, don't bother. We can handle it." I can almost hear him mentally adding a 'hopefully' to the end of that sentence. "But I'd apprieciate it if you and your Slayer came to help. Besides, I'm planning on getting Beck to help us, so that means we'll have three vampires, an Old One, a witch, a Slayer and a firestarter. That sound like enough? Bordering on overkill if you ask me."

"Okay. So what exactly did Drusilla see in her vision?"

"I don't quite know. She said something about a star and people trying to catch her for experiments. We'll figure it out eventually I'm sure."

"Right. Well, I'll try to be there. Where are you, The Hyperion?"

"Yep. Though I think I'll start calling it the Overlook. Place gives me the shivers. So yeah, I guess I'll see you later. Bye."

I put down the phone. I feel like shaking Kennedy awake and getting ready to go right this instant. But sleep is good and we both deserve to get some. So I sleep.


I still don't know what I'm going to do. This is hard, trying to decide things. I think very briefly about leaving it to Angel but my thoughts seem to be cordoned off from the part of me that wants to sit back and watch it all happen. I'm sick of being on the sidelines. I want to do something. But right now, every time I try to imagine some clever course of action, my brain just comes up blank. I don't have the slightest clue where to start. I have absoluetely no idea where the Initiative could currently be. They might not even be in LA. Dru's visions aren't always local. Even if they're far away though, I would follow after them. Just to get my sweet revenge. A dish best served cold, apparently. Besides, if they're close at all, they can't stay hidden for long. Someone's got to notice all the demons going missing. Of course they do that all the time, because of Angel and I, but still. We'd know, surely.

I look upwards, towards the ceiling, but it's not really the ceiling I'm looking at. I'm thinking of Drusilla, who's up there all alone in our room. I smile slightly; despite everything going on, with her soul, with the Initiative, it's still amazing to be with her after so long apart. I remember the last time we saw each other, back in Sunnydale. I look on that meeting with nothing but regret. I tried to win the Slayer over and only ended up damaging my relationship with both the women I loved. After over a hundred years together, I had been willing to stake her. If anyone asked me, I'd say I'd rather stake myself, but the scary part is that I'm wondering if that's true after all…

"Spike?" I start, not expecting the voice and baring my fangs at the newcomer. Realising that its only Angel I switch back to my human face and shake my head. What's wrong with me?

"What d'you want?" I ask him, really not in a good mood just now.

"We've got a lead,"

I can't see it myself of course, but I'm sure my face almost literally lights up with that news. "Oh yeah? What's going on?"

"There's a demon who claims to have been kidnapped by a load of humans wearing military gear. That sounds like our guys, right?"

"Definitely," I agree. "So where is he?"


I can hear every word of their conversation from the room upstairs. I fear that the floor of this room is rather fragile, but I suppose that this is a very old building. Everything becomes frail as it grows in age, except for us. The cursed ones. We grow stronger with every passing day, even if we wish not to.

As I listen to them, I dislike what they are saying more and more. I can't let them go alone, I can't. Not yet. I don't think this is something we can deal with. I remember what they did to Spike, years ago now. They made him the Slayer's pet. I breathe deeply in an effort to control the emotion swirling inside me. I smile slightly. My inner kaleidascope. I have a whole world inside me that no one else knows. So pretty. Painful, yes, but one of the only things that is truly mine. I've lost so much in my long life… but I can never lose my emotions, my kaleidascope. That will never be stolen from me. Always mine and mine forever.

I rise from the bed and open the door, peering out quietly despite there being no need to. I shake my head at myself, inwardly scolding myself for being so paranoid. I'd know if there was someone here. I'd hear their footsteps on the old, creaky, half –broken floorboards. I continue down the hall, keeping quiet as I can, trying to listen to every word Angel and Spike are saying. They are just walking towards the door when I speak to them.

"Where are you going?" I know already, of course, but I have to say something to get their attention.

"There's this demon," Spike begins. "He says he was kidnapped, probably by the Initiative. Surprised you don't already know, love. What with being psychic and all that,"

I laugh softly. "I knew. I heard everything. I just wanted to see if you'd say it to me."

Spike smiles at me and I smile back in return. I want to run to him and embrace him, cry to him. But I don't. Something stops me. I haven't cried much at all. I wonder if that is strange. I wonder if maybe something is wrong with me, if I'm not reacting as I should. I feel like I'm keeping everything inside, all locked up, but I don't think that's a bad thing. I don't want to show and tell everything about me. Everything that's still mine.

"I'm coming," I say. I don't ask permission, I merely state that I am going with them. I know they want to stop me, but neither of them tries. Spike attempts a smile, but it doesn't seem sincere. He's scared, even if he will never admit it. He gets scared a lot more often than he seems to.


The car drive is silent, tense and more than a little awkward. I try to act normal and tease Angel while simultaneously trying to make sure Dru's alright, which is harder than it used to be, but back then I didn't have all of these problems. Well, I had problems, but they were different. More like angry mobs chasing us down into the sewers because I killed their daughters than anything like this. I used to prefer causing chaos than saving the world and I have to say sometime I wish that was still the case.
Angel suddenly slams the brakes, almost giving us whiplash.
"Bloody hell Angel! What the fuck was that?"

Angel doesn't say a word. Typical of him I guess. He just walks out of the car, reasonably calmly as well. I leap out after him, almost falling over in my hurry. I catch up to him and then stop in my tracks, staring down at the road.

"What- Who did this?" I'm staring down at the body of a demon and not a pretty one. But it looks even uglier the way its guts are spilling out all around it. "Did you just-"

"No, Spike. It wasn't me." Angel says. I notice a strange tone in his voice and with some amusement I identify it as fear. I shouldn't be so surprised, really. The Initiative kind of scare the shit out of me as well, but I cover it up with all the rage and hatred I feel towards them.

"This is bad. Really, really bad." I'm barely listening to Angel now, but I do wonder what he means.

"Right, so we see a dead demon and suddenly you're acting like a thirteen year old girl? It's not like we don't see death all the time." I begin to walk back to the car, though I can still see the image of that demon haunting me.

"I am not acting like a thirteen year old girl!" Angel yells, maybe a little too defensively. I smirk as I slide into the backseat of the car, next to Drusilla, who is glaring daggers at me.

"That demon was strong, but peaceful. They don't harm humans at all and it would have taken ten men to kill it," Angel explains as he gets into the drivers side. "I can't think why it would be lying dead in the middle of the road, unless there was someone around who hated demons just that much…"

If possible, when we start driving again, it's even tenser than it was before. Beside me Drusilla has taken her shoes off and is sitting with her knees drawn up, buring her face into them. I know she's crying, even though I can't hear her.

"Dru… what's wrong, love?" I ask, moving over to her. But she flinches away, her hair falling limply into her face.

"Don't come near me…" She whimpers.

"Dru… It's okay, you know I wouldn't hurt you…"

She shakes her head vigourously from side to side. "Not what I meant."

Unfortunately I never discover what she means because she doesn't say anything more and I have a sneaking suspicion that whatever I say I can't make her talk. Well, maybe I could, but it would be almost as unpleasant for me as it would be for her. And considering that she likes pain, maybe it would be even worse for me than her.

Thankfully, it's only a matter of minutes before the car pulls up. We all get out of the car, looking around to drink in our surroundings. We're in a forest, that much is for certain. It looks like something out of a fairytale. A river winds like a snake around the thick trunks of ancient, gnarled oaks, the leaves of willow trees swaying gently in the breeze. We begin walking down the side of the river and Drusilla immediately grabs hold of my hand to steady herself. I doubt she needs it, but I'm glad she'd gotten over whatever happened in the car. Looking ahead I see that Angel is far ahead of us, which is confusing considering the soaked, slippery mud that we're walking on. I don't try to walk faster, knowing that he'll wait. When we catch up to him he's leaning against a tree, arms crossed.

"What took you so long?" He questions. I choose not to answer that. He starts walking again and we follow. We've stopped walking along the river and instead we're walking down what seems to be a path, not too slippery and entirely bare of grass due to being very frequently trod. The path is lined by trees on either side which block out all the light of the moon and plunge us into our own dark world. Honestly, it's more like we're going to see a fearie than a demon.

We finally arrive in some sort of clearing where the grass is overgrown and weeds run riot. There are mushrooms down by my feet and I wonder for a minute what kind they are. Just food, or magic mushrooms? That gets me wondering if they are actual magic mushrooms, which wouldn't surprise me, when Angel calls to me.

"Spike!" He yells, possibly for the tenth time. I sigh and walk over to him.

"Where are we supposed to go from here? It looks like a bloody dead end!"

Angel glowers and holds his arm up to show that he's holding a chain. He pulls it and something weed-covered rises from the ground. A trapdoor.


We all walk down in a grave silence. I feel like saying something just to annoy Angel, but I feel too… I don't quite know what I'm feeling. Nerves? Anticipation? Fear, even? Or something else? To be honest, I don't care what it is, I just want it to go away.

We reach a door and as Angel is raising his hand to knock, and old woman steps out. Or I first think she is an old woman, but looking closer I see that her face is smooth, unlined. She is very slender, almost skeletal and her white hair – wich I clearly what made me interperet her as being elderly – tumbles down her hips in a violent cascade. Her eyes are blue, but not only her irises. The entire eye, pupil and white, is actually a vibrant electric blue.

"You are the vampires?" She asks, looking over us as if sizing us up. Her gaze lingers on Drusilla the longest and I have to wonder if the two have met before.

"That's right," Angel says. She stares at him for a few very long seconds and I can see him becoming uncomfortable under her unwavering gaze. Wordlessly and almost soundlessly, she opens the door for us all to walk in.

The house – if it can be called that – was cold and dark, but quite pleasant. There were chairs, gathered around an unlit hearth. I sit down and Drusilla perches on my knees, resting her head on my shoulder. I wrap an arms around her and pull her close, stroking her dark hair gently with my other hand. I look back up at the demon woman, who is standing behind the remaining chair, her pale hair falling over the back of it.

"You came here because you wanted to know about the men who tried to kill me." She said. It wasn't a question, but a statement and accordingly none of us answered. Or perhaps we were too scared of her. She wasn't exactly the most terrifying thing in the world – after all, she had to be five foot two, max – but she had a voice and just a general air about her that absolutely commanded that the listener do whatever she said. Authorative.

"They were cowards. Tried to make me weak before attacking. They shot me with their poison and I could stop them, couldn't stop myself… they got me. And then I, I tried to fight, but it wouldn't do any good, because they had me, you see. And they took me, back into their car and I could only lay there. They went a long way and then came to a stop outside an old warehouse. But the poison had worn off now an I could do something. So I broke free… I broke free of the bonds and then ran, leaving them behind. They could have got me if I hadn't hid. But I got back here, perfectly safe, none the worse off at all."

I listen carefully to every word she says. From her phrasing, she seems a little eccentric at times, but she narrates the tale more or less to the point.

"Er… I have a question." I say.

She raises her eyebrows at me, presumeably in a gesture for me to go on and ask whatevener I want.

"Did you see where they took you? I know you hid, but you must have seen something, right?"

"It was a remote place, outside the city. I remember that there was a tree and I think there might have been barbed wire… But it all seems so distant now."

"Right, well… I think we'd best be off, right Angie?"

Angel turns his head to look at me, scowling. I grin back at him. He starts walking to the door and Drusilla, stepping lightly off my lap, quickly follows. I take one last look at the demon woman and then go with them. There was something about the expression on her face, something almost… longing. That's it. She looked like she was longing for someone. But as I close the door behind me, all thoughts of her vanish from my mind, like as long as I'm not around her, I cannot think about her.


Time seems to pass slower when you're waiting for something. It's like that saying about time flying when you're having fun, but backwards. I tap my foot against the floor in a steady rhythm , trying to keep myself occupies. Kennedy gives me that funny look she does when I annoy her, where she sort of scowls and smiles at once. I laugh.

"So, what is all this about?" She asks.

I shrug. "I'm not too sure. Something about the Initiative apparently, which might be trouble."

Kennedy smiles at me. "It won't be touble. You're strong Willow. Remember when you made us all Slayers? That was something."

I attempt a smile of my own, but even I know it looks far too nervous and shaky, not sincere. I'm inwardly thinking about what she just said. I'm strong. I know that, but that's exaclty what I'm scared of. That I'm too strong and I can't control my power. Kennedy might remember when I did the Slayer spell, but I remember back before that when I flayed Warren for killing Tara. I'm terrified that something will go wrong and I'll end up doing that again.

Finally, it's our time to board the plane. I walk silently, listening to Kennedy's comforting rambling. I know what comes now is only more waiting. Waiting until we start to fly, waiting until we touch the ground, waiting until we get to the Hyperion. I sigh. I don't feel in the mood for a ten hour flight and I know that Kennedy doesn't either, but we have to go. We can't leave Spike and Angel to deal with this all alone. And besided, there's something I need to tell them. Something I did.

Look at that. I said I would update and I did. Even if I did take three months... At least this time there's the excuse that my computer isn't quite cooperating with me.