A/N: So I was listening to "No Idea" on BTR's album "Elevate," which happens to be my favorite song on the new album, and well this story was born. I thought it would be funny. I don't know. It might just be stupid.

Disclaimer: I pick on Logan way too much in my stories, which is why I own nothing. Ha! On second thought, that probably didn't even make sense. Oh well…


"Every time you come around, you put a lightning bolt on my face," Logan sang.

Only that's not quite what Carlos heard. To him, it sounded like Logan sang, "Every time you come around, you put a lightning boat on my face." Despite the fact that they were in the recording studio at Rocque Records, recording no less, Carlos started snickering. He couldn't even look at Logan without his laugh intensifying.

"Cut! Carlos, why are you laughing?" Gustavo's voice boomed.

"Logie, how did your part go?" Carlos asked, half-giggling.

Kendall and James tried in vain to hold back their laughter. They had heard it too. They were just glad they hadn't been the only ones. Both of them had their lips firmly pressed together in a last ditch effort to keep their laughter at bay.

Even in the sound booth, Gustavo and Kelly were chuckling. Granted, they cut off the sound to the recording booth, so the dogs, one dog in particular, couldn't hear them laughing at him. Kelly thought it was adorable, but that still didn't change the fact that it was hilarious.

"Sing it again," Carlos instructed.

Logan put his hand on the side of Carlos' face, and pie-faced him. He had moved to Minnesota in the 3rd grade, so he wasn't originally from there like Kendall, James, and Carlos were. Sometimes, when Logan spoke, or in this case, sang, that fact became readily apparent. It wasn't that he was intentionally pronouncing it wrong; he just couldn't say it like everyone else could.

"Logan, I got a quick question for you; what's a lightning boat?" Carlos asked, before laughing like a maniac.

He wasn't alone though. Sounds of laughter resonated throughout the recording studio's ideal acoustics. Much like Carlos, James and Kendall couldn't look at Logan without being consumed by laughter all over again.

Logan smacked Carlos in the back of his helmeted head (after all they weren't at the dinner table, an interview, or a photo shoot) before saying, "Mean!" He made a hasty exit out of the recording studio, past a cackling Gustavo and Kelly, and out of the sound booth as well.

Little did Logan know that Carlos wasn't through with him yet. No, this was just the beginning, and Logan was about to find that out himself.


Much to Logan's annoyance, Carlos was everywhere he was. Even though it wasn't his bedroom, Carlos was in Logan's room.

"What was the name of that Pixar movie about a little white dog with a lightning symbol on his fur? It's on the tip of my tongue too!" Carlos said out loud, a playful smile on his face.

Logan groaned in frustration.

"Knock it off, Carlos!" Logan exclaimed.

Of course, Logan knew what movie his helmet-wearing best friend was talking about. He just chose not to answer because he could see right through Carlos' not-so-innocent intentions. He was just trying to goad Logan into saying that-which-shall-not-be-named.

Carlos wondered how far he could take this before Logan snapped. Who was he kidding? This was Logan he was talking about! Logan doesn't snap!

Logan just wished Carlos would drop it. Okay, so maybe he said that-which-shall-not-be-named a little differently than most people, but honestly, Logan didn't see how it was as funny as Carlos thought it was.

Usually, Logan had a sharp focus, able to shut out anything and everything around him and concentrate on the task at hand. However, this was an exception. Though he was reading a medical magazine, or at least trying to, all he could think about was how Carlos was in the room with him, watching him, smirking at him.


Logan was lounging on the orange sofa in the living room when along came Carlos, of course! Logan rolled his eyes as Carlos approached the furniture.

"Hey Logie, wanna play some video games with me?" Carlos asked.

"Sure!" Logan said, relieved that Carlos had finally stopped being ridiculous. "What game do you want to play?"

"Mario Kart."

Logan was eerily silent as his breath hitched in his throat momentarily. A feeling of dread washed over him. He had a pretty good idea where Carlos was going with this. He might as well start a countdown. In three, two, one…

"Guess what my favorite item is?" Carlos asked.

Logan considered himself a pretty patient person. Really, he did. However, he was quickly losing his patience with Carlos. He didn't understand why Carlos made it his personal mission to antagonize Logan all day about this. While Kendall and James laughed at Logan too, at least they weren't trying to get him to say that-which-shall-not-be-named every waking moment.

"Lightning?" Logan guessed.

"Yes, but a lightning what?" Carlos replied.

"I'm not answering that!"

"Aw, come on! Please?"


"Please with a cherry on top?"

"I hate cherries!"

"Fine, then sprinkles!"

"The answer's still no!"

"Logie, why not?"


Later in the afternoon, Logan was worried when Carlos appeared to be reading the newspaper. The fact that he wasn't reading the comics was certainly a cause for alarm. However, when he saw what Carlos had opened up to, it all started to make sense.

"I suck at crosswords! Take this one for example. A four-letter word that means run really fast and starts with the letter B," Carlos said.

Logan seriously contemplated getting the Super Party Fun Box out for no other reason but to lock himself in it just to get away from Carlos. That wouldn't really solve his problem though because Carlos could still talk to him while he was locked in there. Besides, Logan was claustrophobic.

"You're good at crosswords, aren't you, Logie?" Carlos asked innocently.

"Nice try, Carlos. Keep on trying. On second thought, here's an idea: don't!" Logan said clearly irritated.

Carlos filled in the missing letters with one minor revision. O-A-T followed the B making the word BOAT. Carlos looked at the complete word, clamped his hand over his mouth, and giggled anyways.

Logan didn't know why he did it, but he walked over to Carlos to see what he had just finished writing. When he saw what Carlos had wrote, he snatched the pencil from Carlos, and snapped it in two.


Logan found it odd when he happened upon Carlos who was currently rummaging through a tool box. Wait a second. They had a tool box? Apparently, Logan hadn't got that memo because this was news to him. He just figured they didn't really need a toolbox. The Palm Woods had a maintenance man, Buddha Bob.

"Okay, I'll bite. What are you doing?" Logan asked.

His eyes grew wide when he saw what was resting in the palms of Carlos' hands. Some nuts and bolts. Logan felt like thumping himself in the forehead. How could he be so blind? He really should have known better especially based off Carlos' previous behavior!

"Hey Logan, what are these called?" Carlos asked.

"The fasteners are called nuts. The other ones are called screws," Logan said, quite proud of himself for dodging that bullet.

"Aren't they called something different? I mean the phrase or whatever isn't nuts and screws."

One vein in the side of Logan's head was pronounced. It was throbbing erratically. Logan's eye was twitching too. He gave Carlos a murderous look that Carlos, of course, was completely oblivious to.

Carlos bit his lip so hard that he was actually kind of worried it would start bleeding. He didn't want to laugh in Logan's face because Logan might not like that too much. However, in Carlos' defense, Logan was easy to pick on. As Carlos started to think about it that way, he realized that this was all Logan's fault. If he didn't make himself so easy to pick on, then they wouldn't be having this problem right now. Of course, not that Carlos considered it a problem. Logan did, but Carlos thought it was a riot.

"What have I ever done to you?" Logan asked irritably.


Logan had locked himself in his bedroom. At long last, he had finally escaped Carlos for the time being. He had "borrowed" one of James' ten full-length mirrors, and was currently standing before it, gazing at his reflection.

Logan took a deep breath, his shoulders rising and falling.

"Lightning boat," Logan said.

He shook his head none too pleased with the result.

"You put a lightning boat on my face," Logan sang.

He resisted the urge to bang his face into the full-length mirror, maybe the mirror fragments could change the way he pronounces things. As quick as Logan came up with that idea, he dismissed it. James might have a heart attack if his beloved mirror wasn't returned to him in mint condition.

"Boat, boat, boat. Darn it! Why can't I say it?" Logan asked no one in particular.

Little did Logan know that Kendall, James, and Carlos had gathered outside Logan's bedroom door to eavesdrop on him, and were they ever glad they did. The three of them were in stitches as they listened to their best friend desperately try to say the word 'bolt.'

Logan could've sworn he heard the unmistakable sound of laughter coming from just outside of his bedroom. He unlocked the door before swinging it open, and poking his head out.

"Go, go, go!" Kendall commanded too little too late.

Logan saw his three best friends scurry off as soon as he peeked his head out his bedroom door. That wasn't suspicious at all…

"I've gotta get new friends," Logan commented out loud, and in a volume Kendall, James, and Carlos could hear however far away they got.

The End