A/N so this is a spin-off of my fic "Save Us, Daddy". It was a totally random thing when I was facebooking my friend, and she asked for me to turn my randomness into a fic, so this is really a gift for her. By the way, this is my first try at a humour fic, so be sure to tell me how it is. I don't really care if someone doesn't find it funny; I'll just use it to improve my humour-writing skills.
"Ice cream, ice cream," Tobi and Obito chanted happily as they entered the ice cream store with Madara and the two Senju brothers. "We love ice cream~"
Hashirama chuckled at the twins' adorable display and walked everyone up to the counter. While most of them ordered a fairly macho ice cream, it was Tobirama whose sexuality was questioned.
"Yes, I'll have my favourite ice cream," Tobirama ordered, a glint of love in his eye and his voice laced with lust at the mere thought of his ice cream. "Rainbow with lots of sprinkles, please."
It didn't take long before everyone had gotten their ice creams. Everyone but Tobirama, that is. Tobirama felt his face going red from the anger when everyone else was handed their ice cream and then the workers went straight to serving other customers. He stormed up to the registers, grabbing one of the workers by their shirts and pulling him in close.
"Where the fuck is my rainbow ice-cream covered in manly sprinkles, bitch!" He shouted angrily. "I want my macho ice cream or else everyone is going to call me a fag, again!"
"Fuck you, you psycho motherfucker!" the worker shouted back. "You are a fag! Get out of my face before I get my broom!"
"Oh, it's so on," Tobirama spat, pushing the ice cream man away and turning to his sweat-dropping brother. He thrust what appeared to be a… purse into Hashirama's hands. "Hold my purse, aniki!"
"…Why do I get your man-purse, Tobi?" Hashirama frowned, holding the offensive thing at arm's length, not wanting to be seen with it.
"It's not a man-purse, it's a satchel!" Tobirama spat.
"…You're the one who called it a purse, first, and what's the difference, anyway?"
"Shut up! You're distracting me, nii-san!"
Tobirama and the shop worker were now circling each other like a pack of dogs in a fighting ring, Tobirama holding the ice cream he had snatched off of Madara, and the shop worker holding a broom.
Most of the customers had crowded around to watch the fight, while Madara's two kids were in the background chanting.
"Go, go, Tobi, go, go! Go, go, Tobi, go, go! Avenge your manly rainbow ice-cream covered in even manlier sprinkles!"
Tobirama smirked at the shop worker. "I have those kids on my side. Put the broom down and I won't have to hurt you."
The worker smirked back. "You're the one holding an ice cream cone. I think I win, here."
Tobirama frowned and lunged forward, smashing the ice cream into the worker's stomach, and he was so overly-confident that an ice cream was going to win him a fight that he didn't notice the broom coming from the side.
Tobirama cried out as he was knocked away by the broom and went flying out of the window in a rather cartoonish way. Hashirama sweat-dropped and looked at the shop worker, still holding Tobirama's satchel.
"I am so sorry about him…" he apologised. "He thinks that by ordering a rainbow ice-cream with sprinkles he is proving he is a macho man, but if he doesn't get his ice cream, he thinks he is being bullied… I'm so sorry…"
Madara, who had casually walked over to the now-smashed window, looked out at Tobirama laying in a rosebush, out cold.
"Hey, umm, Hashirama?" the Uchiha called. "I think your brother is hurt."
Hashirama sighed and came to the window, looking at his brother. "No, he's fine. He does this every time he loses a fight. He's hoping for sympathy."
Madara ran to the worker, grabbing the broom handle off of the man and coming back, poking the unmoving Senju.
"No, I really don't think he is playing…"
"Let's just leave him here," Hashirama shrugged. "He embarrassed me too much by giving me his purse for me to care right now."
Madara nodded, picking his kids up and following Hashirama out of the ice cream store, leaving the unconscious Tobirama in the rosebush. Needless to say, when Tobi came to, he went back for more, and history just repeated itself. Tobirama was really going to have to come up with a better strategy than rushing someone with an ice cream in his hand while they're holding a broom.
A/N Hangover reference FTW! (Man-purse) How is it? Good? Bad? Totally failed at the humor? Tell me.