Sadly, I don't own The Big Bang Theory and possible spoilers from Seasons 1-4 and including the most current episode The Flaming Spittoon Acquisition.

Sheldon sat at his desk staring at his laptop so intensely Leonard was surprised it hadn't burst into flames yet.

"What are you thinking about Sheldon?" he asked. "Are you stuck again with work?"

"Of course not. I'm merely contemplating the ramifications of what I'm about to do."

Leonard stared at him before changing the channel.

"Leonard, I would appreciate if you would leave the apartment for at least 30 minutes when Amy arrives." Sheldon continued and looked at Leonard. "I need to speak to her in private to discuss a matter."

Leonard put the remote down and stood up, hearing a rumor from Howard that Amy propositioned Sheldon with sex and he was going to go through with it. He did not want to be here when that happened. "No problem. I'm having dinner with my father in an hour so take all the time you need. I'll text you when I'm on my way home."

Sheldon turned to look at Leonard once more and replied with thank you as he closed the door behind him.


Amy sat next to Sheldon on the couch as she fiddled with the button on her cardigan.

"Sheldon, while you do have a valid reason for this, what about our relationship agreement?"

He looked over at her for the first time since she arrived.


Penny looked at the clock on her wall. It was time for her to go to work and tell the boys she was off to work an extra shift; no paintball today.

She walked out of her apartment and placed a hand on the doorknob when she heard Sheldon and Amy on the other side of the door.

"Don't be bothered by trivial matters Amy." Penny heard him say as the sound of paper being ripped echoed through her ears.

"Done. You are free Amy Farrah Fowler. I can no longer consider or refer to you as my girlfriend."

Penny's eyes widened as she retracted her hand from the knob and bolted back into her apartment.


Sheldon walked Amy to the door as she turned around to face him. "Although it wasn't a romantic relationship I did enjoy it. I didn't appreciate you turning me into your mother though."

Sheldon nodded. "I apologize. I was merely preventing you from ever having amorous activities with me."

"I understand. However I need to find a new boyfriend so my mother won't nag me. I suppose Stuart will be delighted." Amy replied as she shook hands with Sheldon.

"I'm pleasantly surprised we decided to become friends in the end. You are welcome here anytime Amy."

She smiled "Likewise, don't be afraid to stop by as well."


"Holy crap on a cracker." Penny said as she lay down on her couch. The Shamy was gone. Just like that.

She thought back to her conversation with Sheldon nearly three weeks ago.

"I'm the guy."

"You're not the guy."

"Are you sure? It would explain so much; your constant presence in my apartment, that baffling dalliance with Leonard, the way you call me sweetie all the time."

Penny sighed. "It's not only sweetie but honey too. How could you miss that one Sheldon?"


He stood in front of Penny's door, knuckle raised to begin his compulsive knocking.

"Strap on a pair and talk to Amy."

The words floated in his mind as he contemplated what that meant three weeks ago. He had immediately googled that jargon only to twitch at the explanation it spit back at him.

Well he did it, he talked to Amy and terminated the contract without any hesitation and it baffled him. He never once decided to think about it until today when he told her. It was unnerving and definitely not his style.

His eye twitched as he lowered his hand and dropped it to his side, flexing his hand when he realized his grip had turned his knuckle white and numb.

He pressed his palm to his face as another one of Penny's sentences invaded his mind.

"You are so not the guy."

He closed his eyes and sighed involuntarily. What if Penny really didn't share the same feelings he had harbored inside for her all those years?

The first time they met, he was immediately smitten as her face lit up looking at him as she learned he was a "beautiful mind genius guy". The next day was when they carried her furniture into her apartment. He had told her that he's here for her and Leonard misunderstood it for a joke. He was serious even back then.

Dinner was all he looked forward to everyday because he knew Penny would come and mooch their food. Any other way he would spend time with her was a delightful bonus.

Unfortunately Leonard was the first to establish a relationship with her and it pained him that she would agree to it. However he knew they wouldn't last long and silently waited until it would explode. He would have to thank Will Wheaton for speeding up the process that day during the bowling competition.


Penny stared at the ceiling. She was attracted to Sheldon from the start but his odd behavior and condensation had repelled her. But getting to know him just made her realize how much she had fallen for him. It was like beauty and the beast. Well more like beauty and the robotic nerd.

"You tramp."

Those words pierced her like thorns. He even calculated that she slept with 31 men. So wrong; Kurt was her first serious boyfriend and including Leonard it wasn't even ten. Plus that night with Raj when they were drunk, even though nothing happened, didn't help her case either. Besides, Amy has had 128 sexual encounters, who's the tramp now?

She had wanted to tell Sheldon the truth that day and had used their spare key to enter the apartment. 2AM was when she stood outside Sheldon's bedroom but decided against it, she didn't want to be banished again.


Sheldon turned to look at the door and knocked three times. Penny sat up from the couch in surprise and opened the door.

They stared in silence for a few seconds until Penny lifted her hand. She almost reached out to touch his cheek when he quickly grasped her arm and pulled her towards him, bringing his lips to hers.

Penny instantly felt at ease and felt him relax as well as he placed his hand behind her head and his left was on her hip.

She responded by wrapping her arms around Sheldon's neck and felt him smile against her lips.


Raj walked up the stairs, mumbling to himself about finally going to see a psychiatrist when he saw Penny pressed against the door to her apartment by none other than Sheldon. He released a loud eep in surprise and they broke off their kiss to stare at him.

"Raj, some privacy please." Sheldon said as Raj's mouth opened but no sound came out. Penny let out a small laugh and then caught a glimpse of his watch and looked at Sheldon.

"I'm gonna be late for work!"

They both looked at her as Penny locked her door and gave Sheldon a quick kiss on the cheek before running past Raj down the stairs.

"Dude, you and Penny?" he asked as Sheldon walked to his door. "Leonard is going to have brain aneurism."


Sheldon stood behind a tree, holding his rifle and drowning out the sounds of his friends' blatant demise.

He thought back to the events this morning outside Penny's door. His instinct had taken over instead of his rehearsed plan to tell Penny how he feels about her; although actions do speak louder than words. She had this power over him that he had not experienced with any other female. It was both frightening and fascinating that Penny had managed to crumble the wall he had put up to distinguish himself as a Homo Novus.

Sheldon placed his fingers to his lips, still feeling Penny's presence as Leonard ran past him and tripped over his own feet, shooting himself in the process.

If he wasn't distracted he would have laughed and then lectured Leonard about running with his head turned.

Howard spotted Sheldon smiling to himself and turned to look at Raj who shrugged; they would need to see this for themselves.


Penny trudged up the stairs and groaned. She shouldn't have taken that shift, there were five birthday parties and it kept her so busy she didn't have time to eat lunch.

After taking a shower and changing into comfortable clothes she walked over to Sheldon's apartment.


He sat there looking at his laptop at the new relationship contract he had written up for Penny. It felt wrong to him, not like with Amy, who at first went along with it.

Sheldon felt like doing this was a mistake but he needed it on paper, such was his personality, whether he liked it or not.

Howard looked over at him. "Sheldon, your food is starting to get cold. What are you doing?"

His eyes snapped to the group on the couch after closing the document without saving it.

"Unraveling the mysteries of the universe." Sheldon replied as he sat down in his spot and took a bite of his pizza.

Penny walked in and said hello to the group before Raj moved to the floor so that she could sit in her spot between Leonard and Sheldon.

They conversed about their day and occasionally Sheldon and Penny would sneak glances at each other unbeknownst to the others except for Raj.

"Hey since it's anything can happen Thursday let's go to that club we promised to go to." Raj spoke up after finishing his beer. Leonard nodded in agreement as Howard left to go spend time with Bernadette.

"Really Raj?" Sheldon asked giving him a stern look. "Is it honestly worth it to intoxicate oneself for the sake of hooking up with a random stranger?"

"Yes." Leonard replied, avoiding eye contact with Penny. "Just because you already have Amy you think we're not permitted to find our ideal mates?"

Sheldon smirked. "Leonard, I've terminated my contract with Amy. She is also not my ideal mate."

Leonard stared at him as Raj nodded in agreement. "Then the chances of you finding a woman are slim to none. You should join us and-" He stopped talking as he saw Penny shift into Sheldon's lap and kissed him gently on the lips.

"Guess it's just you and me." Raj said to Leonard as he took off his glasses and wiped them with his shirt before babbling incoherently, placing his glasses upside down on his face. "I think he's getting that brain aneurism."

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