…I'm such a fanfiction whore. But whatever. I decided I'm so deeply and passionately in love with the Sebastian/Ciel pairing, I'm gonna write a full blown fanfic about it. Hooray! Now, granted, I've really only seen Season 1 of Kuroshitsuji and parts of Season 2 (including the ending which leaves a monstrous, bittersweet taste in my mouth) and I've read all of the released manga.
This fanfic is post Season 2 ending, simply because I'm intrigued to try something that came to my head in a dream one night after going on a Kuroshitsuji fanfic binge. All will be explained later. I am hoping you guys will enjoy this fic. It's going to be a bit of a stretch, and my first full-blown yaoi fanfic, so let's give it a shot.
(PS: I don't CARE if Ciel/Sebastian is shota; I still support the pairing to the point of it being an unhealthy obsession. If you do not agree with the pairing, then WHY are you even reading this fanfic?)
Disclaimer: I do not own Sebastian or Ciel. Kuroshitsuji and all of its characters are property of Yana Toboso. Please support the original anime and manga. I only own the plot of this fanfiction.
The Tarot cards and their meanings are courtesy of the book "How to Read Tarot" by Liz Dean.
Heart of the Curse
"The Devil – you are tied up to a commitment that is enslaving you, but it is your perception of this situation that allows it to continue in a way that is ultimately unsatisfying."
"But…how can I fix it then?"
"Well, my young demon, you have to consider the feelings of others aside from your own. You know why things are the way they are. That mark in your eye explains it all, yes?"
"Bocchan?" Blue eyes blinked and looked up into half-lidded red eyes. "You are losing your train of thought again." Ah, that's right. He had been listening to Sebastian prattle on about…something. To be quite frank, the formal earl could not even recall paying enough attention to even realize what was being said to him, let alone retain it.
"Sorry, Sebastian." Ciel Phantomhive sighed, running a hand through his teal hair and sat back in his chair. It'd been a good three years in the human world since he and Sebastian had left the Phantomhive manor and everyone else in their lives behind to live as two demons.
Sebastian continued to serve Ciel faithfully, though his demeanor was even more serious than before…if that was even possible. His usual, teasing smirk had vanished and was replaced with a stiff line that was supposed to be his lips and expressionless eyes. Ciel would never confess it aloud, but he missed the old Sebastian – the one who had served him when he was human. The one who had always acted perfectly while teasing and sometimes mocking him with that cocky smirk, and poking fun at his human cracks and flaws with what could be seen as delight in those scarlet eyes. That butler seemed like a distant dream instead of a memory.
"Figures he's bitter…when I was human, he knew he had my soul to look forward to. Now, he only has an eternity of servitude ahead of him…" Ciel thought sourly, touching the eye patch over his contract.
Sebastian was still, by any means, one hell of a butler. He was able to constantly provide money, toiletries, clothing, and living arrangements without any problem whatsoever. He and Ciel would remain in an area for a few months before moving on, in order to avoid keeping the attention of people for too long.
Though Ciel suspected Sebastian maintained connections through mobsters and criminals in order to maintain their stream of comfortable wealth. But he wasn't complaining. He even played the same charade of preparing tea and sweets for Ciel, despite the fact that the boy no longer needed any human sustenance.
This time, the two were staying in a country house in Florence, Italy and Ciel was sitting in the parlor while Sebastian pretended to pour him tea. Ciel wore a white, collared shirt with a plain, grey cravat and a deep maroon vest with a pair of grey trousers. The dreary color palette had become something of a staple in his wardrobe. Although he occasionally dressed more extravagantly for purely nostalgic purposes, he had come to prefer simple, dark colors and patterns.
It did remind him constantly of when he had danced with Lizzy for the last time and her comment on how plain clothing did not suit him. While he did agree plain was a little peculiar for him, he did find a certain charm to it. He was the kind of person who could carry himself in just about any form of attire (even if said attire was a pink, taffeta dress with plenty of lace, ribbons, and flowers).
"Bocchan?" Ciel shook his head, trying to will away the memories of the corset. Oh…the corset…
"I'm sorry, Sebastian, what were you saying?" he asked, blinking up at the butler, who continued to wear an apathetic mask on that so-called, devilishly handsome face.
"You have piano lessons this afternoon with a Lady Fidelia, and then there will be a gala tonight that you have been invited to." Ciel felt his irritation creep into his voice as he leaned against his palm.
"Remind me how it is we continuously get invited to these soirees when I am not a socialite anymore?" Sebastian cocked his head to the side ever-so-slightly.
"We still travel in style and stay in luxury homes in cities, it is only natural you are invited to these events, Bocchan. Although you are no longer under the title of an earl, you are still aristocracy, no matter how you look at it. Unless you prefer to stay in less extravagant accommodations, which can certainly be arranged." Ciel waved off the last statement.
"Urgh, very well. I suppose it will be nice to get out for a bit. Will you go and prepare my attire for the event?"
"Already done, Bocchan." Sebastian placed a hand on his chest, bowing forward slightly, his eyes closed. "A Phantomhive butler who can't even manage that much is not worth his salt." Even the familiar phrase sounded wrong to Ciel now. There was no…urgh, what was the word? Heart was definitely the wrong choice for the demon. Soul…well, that was even more wrong. Even emotion didn't seem to fit in the sentence.
"Good, thank you. Well then…you are free to entertain yourself however you wish until this evening when it is time for me to dress." Sebastian blinked in surprise at the lenient dismissal and Ciel returned his attention to the marked book on the table, flipping it over to the page he'd left off.
"You have not had the chance to hunt recently. I thought I'd allow you to tend to your own personal needs." His tone was reminiscent of him waving off the statement with his hand. Apathetic. Almost bored. "And Sebastian, I am planning to start hiring maids to take care of the cleaning so you will not have to take it upon yourself anymore."
"Bocchan, it really is no problem. Do not trouble yourself for my sake."
"It's not for your sake, Sebastian. I just figured you have other obligations is all. Cleaning should be the work of a maid anyway. As my butler, you need to spend your time doing more productive things than cleaning." For just a brief moment, Ciel thought he caught sight of Sebastian's old smirk, but it was gone as quickly as it came and he merely bowed again.
"Very good, Bocchan." He turned and left Ciel alone in the parlor and he sighed, looking around the room as soon as he was certain the demon was no longer lurking nearby.
"You have to consider the feelings of others aside from your own. You know why things are the way they are. That mark in your eye explains it all, yes?"
"Tch. Stupid tarot reader…I should never have suffered through such ludicrous nonsense…" Ciel stared at the book without reading the words for a good fifteen minutes before he gave up and threw it aside, sighing heavily as he slouched in his seat, covering his eyes with one hand. He stood up and grabbed his coat before leaving the house into the chilly air of Florence.
The streets bustled with carriages and people and Ciel sighed before placing his black top hat on his head and walking down the streets alone, hands shoved into coat pockets to keep them warm. Or, rather, that was what one might assume when looking at him. They would assume he was just a normal, human boy, trying to protect himself from the cold.
It felt strange to travel without Sebastian at his side, but he'd done so before. The feeling of independence did begin to creep into his small form and he did enjoy it to an extent. Granted, he could never imagine life without Sebastian; and their unfulfilled contract all but guaranteed Sebastian's eternal devotion to him.
"Though he isn't exactly happy about it…" The bitter thought crossed Ciel's mind and he stopped, staring down at the pavement as the people passed him without paying him any mind whatsoever. "If Sebastian is truly cursed by this contract, can't he simply end it? Why does he deal with it?"
At that moment, the thought occurred to Ciel that maybe Sebastian couldn't break their contract, and that was why he stayed with the boy. He recalled his final order to Sebastian in the labyrinth of roses.
"You are to remain my butler until you come up here and devour my soul!"
"Yes, my lord."
Now…that soul could never be devoured, therefore locking Sebastian into an endless order; an endless contract. All of this was against the demon's will, and Ciel couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt creep from his lower stomach and spread throughout his small form. No matter how many times he reminded himself it had been that brat, Alois's, fault…the guilt did not cease. If anything else, it only served to sicken him more.
He continued to walk down the streets, exhaling small puffs of breath. As a demon, he did not normally feel hot or cold like humans did. He did understand it was cold, but he was not shivering or huddling up like the people around him were. He merely walked with his hands shoved into his pockets, hunched forward ever so slightly so the brim of his hat protected his eyes from any chilling winds.
As a demon, his senses were sharpened, but were also dulled in a sense. Temperature failed to greatly affect him now. He was capable of putting his hand in a pan of boiling water with it only causing him a slight prickling of irritation instead of searing pain. He was able to stand out in an icy snowstorm wearing nothing but his nightgown and only feel a cool wind instead of stabbing ice.
Taste was the other sense that was muted. Human food had fewer flavors than before. He was able to distinguish spicy, sour, sweet, bitter, and salty flavors, but they were not very strong. Or, maybe, they just didn't taste right anymore because he did not have any reason to eat them. Now, when Sebastian made him a cake in order to provide him familiar comfort, Ciel would eat it and his memory of how cakes tasted made it enjoyable. But if you blindfolded him and fed him cake, it was like eating a piece of a sponge. Pretty pointless and actually somewhat disgusting. It made him understand what Sebastian had meant when he was unable to tell him whether or not something tasted ok. His senses were not meant to understand human things…the same way humans were not meant to understand a demon's logic.
Now, the only thing Ciel truly tasted was human souls. He dined on one every few weeks or so, and they were unlike anything he'd ever consumed before. They were not exactly tangible, so he did not chew them or touch them. They were almost like a strong puff of air in terms of texture and feeling, but also had an almost syrupy, smooth weight and feel on the tongue and throat. The scent of the soul was the most enticing part about consuming them. It took him a while to come to terms with eating them, but he found the experience overall not entirely unpleasant. Just odd.
His sense of smell was unnaturally acute and spoke more about foods than taste could. He wondered if bloodhounds smelled with the same nose he now had and found it intriguing at how sensitive he truly was to odors. One odor in particular he was familiar with was that of Sebastian. In a crowd of fifty, sixty people, Sebastian was notably easy to pick out, even if he was nowhere in sight. The man had a scent that nothing like a human's. It was not weighed down with perfume or food or sweat or blood. No…it was something rich, heavy…almost musky, but not really.
Sight was the one sense that did not seem to change, except in the dark. Ciel was able to navigate perfectly, even if it was pitch black. In the darkness, everything had a reddish hue to it and was perfectly easy to see. Sebastian told him demons were normally able to see in the dark, but it still astounded Ciel to no end. He would stand in a pitch black room and marvel at everything he was suddenly able to see.
Hearing, like smell, was incredibly acute. But not to quite the same degree as smell. Ciel noticed he was more sensitive to high-pitched sounds like whistles, and he was able to hear what people on the other side of a room were whispering about with ease, which was both useful and irritating. So now Ciel valued peace and silence more than ever.
Sebastian had assured him he would grow accustomed to these "improved" senses soon enough, but after three years, he still felt lost in his own skin as he walked around, trying awkwardly to adjust.
Ciel continued traipsing around the city, not really caring where he wound up, when he crashed into someone's back.
"Excuse me," he mumbled.
"Watch where you're – oh no, it's the little brat back from the dead!" Ciel looked up and saw a pair of glasses, long red hair, sharp teeth, and green eyes that did not show any signs of being happy to see him.
"Oh…great…" Ciel sighed.
And so ends chapter one! I hope you all like this story so far.
Please review! I love favorites, but reviews let me know what you think of the story itself, and I'd love at least five reviews before updating again.
See you all next chapter!