Hello Readers. Yes this is a Post 4x09 fic and I'm sure there's tons of them but they haven't been written by me so there are not nearly as awesome. So this has been swimming around in my head since the sneak peeks came out and after watching the episode, I was inspired to actually put it down. It's shorter than I would have liked but most things in life are I suppose. Nonetheless here it is. For those who are wondering, I have Moving Day written on paper, I just need to type it out and get it to my wonderful Beta. Then I'll go back to Glass Slippers. I have to keep them both up you see. Also, if you want to follow me on twitter you can find me at vatrask
Disclaimer: Why do I even bother?
Kate's therapy session had ended several hours ago. After admitting that she was ready to get help, they had talked for a little while longer before he let her go, telling her to get some rest and they would start during their next session. So Kate had driven home to her apartment which is where she now sat; alone. Well she wasn't sitting so much as curled up on the end of the couch, biting at the skin of her nails and thinking long and hard. You have to start owning up to your past. To what happened to you. He had told her. You can't keep anything bottled up if we're going to get through this. So maybe her mind was paraphrasing but that was essentially what he had told her and for once, she decided, she wasn't going to disagree with the good doctor. With a shaking hand, Kate picked up her cell-phone from the coffee table and hit the 'number two' on her speed dial. He picked up on the second ring.
"Beckett?" Kate closed her eyes to gather that last ounce of courage. "Are you okay? What's going on?" The panic in his voice was admittedly a little cute. "Kate?"
"Can you come over?" She finally whispered before hitting the 'end call' and let the phone slide down her face and into her lap. Well there was no going back now.
Forty Five minutes later, Rick Castle knocked on her door carrying a plastic bag of steaming Chinese food. Kate smiled at his thoughtfulness as she opened the door and he held the bag under her nose. "I figured you probably hadn't eaten." He brushed past her and headed towards the kitchen nook. "It's been a long day." He said it so casually she almost forgot what a long day it had been.
"Thank you." She muttered as he began to mill about her kitchen as though he had always lived there. Like he belongs there; a little voice told her.
Shaking her head, Kate took her place at the table as a plate of delicious half-authentic Chinese food was laid in front of her. Rick sat opposite her and they ate in companionable silence as he waited for her to brooch the subject that was obviously eating her up. Kate was trying her hardest to bring it up but she couldn't bring herself to eat let alone talk about her feelings. Feeling her resolve slipping, she hastily pushed her plate away, a move which Rick noticed instantly. "Kate?" He asks concernedly, searching for a recognizable emotion in her eyes. All he could see was worry and fear.
Closing her eyes, Kate nodded towards the couch before avoiding his gaze and taking her usual seat in the corner. Only this time, Rick joined her, facing her directly, close enough to hold her hands – but he didn't, she observed – he was waiting for her. Will he really wait forever? "I think we need to talk." When Rick nodded she took one last breath before beginning. "Even since my mom died, I've felt like there was something missing. Like my entire world had just fallen off the face of the Earth and in a way it did but I let my mom's death define who I am. I want to be more than that; I want to move on, I want to be able to dive into a relationship but I can't until I put everything in my past to rest – or at least resolve them enough that I can put them away."
"Kate what-" She silenced him by pulling her shirt over her head, letting her hair fall over her bra-clad chest. Rick tried look away, he honestly did, but his eyes were drawn to the center of her chest where a circular scar was visible and taunting. A reminder of what he'd almost lost. Kate watched Rick as his eyes traced the outline of her scar and she tried to still her heaving chest. The way he watched her was more intimacy than she could handle at the moment so she broke it. Grasping his left hand, she squeezed it before placing it on her chest so his fingers brushed over the scar.
"This scar" she choked "represents the day I almost lost my life; a daily reminder that a life can end at any moment." After a long moment of staring at his hand, Rick looked up into Kate's eyes to see fresh tears promising to spill over. With his free hand, he lifted the side of his finger to her eyes and caught the evidence of her emotional breakthrough. Kate closed her eyes to his touch but continued to speak. "I'm broken, damaged but I want to get fixed." She held both his hands in hers and watched for the spark of hopeful curiosity she knew would be in his eyes. "For once, Castle, I'm asking for your help."
"Anything;" he answered without hesitation "just name it." Her eyes widened at this and her breath hitched in her throat. Somehow she hadn't expected his eagerness. She should have, given everything else he had done for her but it still flipped her heart over knowing that there was someone so willing to love her. That made this a little easier.
"When you say 'always'; do you mean it?" Rick paused and for a moment Kate's heart stopped.
"Kate I will forever mean it. I will never stop meaning it. 'Always' means 'always'." Her enthusiastic response was to pull him into a kiss that literally knocked him off his feet. Pushing him into the couch, she held her hands against his face as she climbed atop him in an attempt to keep things as close as possible. She wasn't letting him run away like she had. Not that he seemed to be trying to leave anytime soon. Not that Rick had anywhere better to be. In fact, he was perfectly content to hold Kate's waist as she kissed him senseless. In fact his senses didn't return to him until he felt her hands leave his face and travel down to the belt of his pants. He grabbed her hands and held them above her head as he broke the kiss to look at her. "Do you have a bedroom in this joint?" He asked breathlessly. With a heavy smile, Kate pushed off the couch and held out her hand for his.
Holding hands all the way into the bedroom, Rick stopped her before she fell into the bed and just stared at her. None of the lights were on and he didn't speak a word but Kate could still read all of the love in his eyes and that alone kept her silent and still. After a long moment, Rick took a step towards her and hooked his forefingers into her belt loops, pulling himself just close enough to breathe her in. Kate gasped as he slid the button of her jeans open without breaking her gaze and slid the zipper down tantalizingly slow. He pushed the material over her hips and down her legs in a similar manner caressing her calf as he lifted it to pull her pant legs out. He rose slowly, dragging his fingertips up the sides of her legs and around her back until she felt him flick the clasp of her bra open and, without leaving her skin, brought the straps down her arms, letting it fall to the floor unnoticed. His eyes were still on her. Almost cautiously, Kate watched him bring his lips to her collarbone and gently kiss it, working his way down her shoulder and back up. They were neither passionate nor languid; they were merely an extension of his caresses – worshipping every inch of her trembling body. As he began to descend her body, Kate held her breath and waited for him to brush his lips over her scar but it never came. He bypassed the sensitive flesh as he continued his journey southward. When he placed a kiss just above her navel – her stomach caught in a tight knot – Kate closed her eyes to his fingertips brushing against the corners of her underwear. They remained closed, her mouth open in an unspoken ecstasy, as he kissed down her right thigh, bringing the material with her. When he paused at the base of her knee, she opened her eyes and looked down into his eyes. It was only then that she registered that she was completely naked and he was still fully clothed and on his knees before her. Never before had she ever experienced anything so intimate and so powerful that she instantly felt a blush come to her chest. Holding her arms around her chest, she jumped at the only quick movement Rick seemed to have made in the eternity that they had been together; he held her hands in his so that she was completely exposed to him. Still holding her hands, caressing the tops of her knuckles, he began his kisses back up her body, kissing each knee caps as preciously as he would a child. Her eyes never closed – never blinked – as he kissed up her thighs and directly under her bellybutton before suddenly redirecting to the left. She released a deafening gasp that seemed to shake the room awake as he pressed his lips against her stitches for a long, sweet moment, closing his eyes against her skin before moving back to her center. Each of her muscles shook from the pent up energy of never moving as he kissed each rib and up between the valley of her breasts. The world stopped once again when his lips brushed against the scar above her heart and seemed to embrace everything that came with it in that brief moment. It was only then that she found the strength to move. Gently pulling her arms out his, she brought them up to his face as he tore his lips from her chest. The sudden stroking of his jaw brought Rick's gaze back to hers as she led him up to her eye level. Kate held his face for a long moment, drinking in the love and comfort that only his blue eyes could provide. "I love you." She found her voice was gravely and small, thick with emotion as she felt familiar tears brim her eyes.
No more words were spoken as he slid his arms slowly around her back, relishing in the feel of her soft skin under his entrancing fingers. They met in an embrace of too many emotions to describe: love, understanding, passion, sorrow and a mutual knowledge of the perfect moment. And he simply held her in his arms, her own holding his shoulders as they rocked gently from side to side, in a dance that only they knew. It was an eternity before he felt her head dip into the crook of his shoulder and lay there as he swayed her until he felt her body go limp against his. Her felt her steady breathing warm against his neck and he smiled. This was the woman he loved; the one who could fall asleep, naked against him with tear stains and scars wracking her body and still manage to inspire the most beautiful images from his heart. Of a future where she would wake up next to him every morning; where she wouldn't have to call him over for comfort in the middle of the night because he would already be there. The first step in achieving the future he had dreamed of for so long – and now knew she shared; a future together.