Nobody seems to be giving comments... I guess it sucks, but for old time's sake, I'll finish it up... and go on with my next... errr...
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Title: Tooi Kono Yume de (In This Distant Dream) Epilogue
Author: Kikiam-sama
Rating: PG-13
Description: A fic that came out of the mystery of Yurete Kandagawa, a love polygon on Jin, Hisoka, Mito and Mito's sister. The story is told in Mito's point of view.
Notes: This came partly out of Illumi's idea on Jin and Hisoka being friends. Thanks a lot! I just added the love polygon because of Yurete Kandagawa (Hisoka and Mito's duet in the character vocal song book). Imagine how Gon would react when he hears about this...
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JIn disappeared. We left him in Maya's room. My parents waited for him outside but he never showed up again. When they knocked on the door, nobody answered, so they decided to enter. All they saw was Maya's body. Jin and the child were gone.

His father knew where he was, but he refused to say. He told us what happened to Jin, though, and what Hisoka did to him. I was shocked, and confused. I felt guilty at the same time. It was the whole truth about Hisoka. He became a murderer, but he thought he should change because he ƒlovedƒ me. But then, he found out that I was jealous of Jin, and I wasn't happy with him. He thought that Jin made me sad... so he thought... to make me happy... he must kill the source of the sadness.

My father said Hisoka was just like any other psychopath. He didn't scold me about having a relationship with him, and was thankful I wasn't harmed by such a man.

I tried to connect the events and I came out with a conclusion. Hisoka did all of this because of me. Jin was't able to come because of Hisoka. Maya died because she couldn't see Jin. A terrible fact hit me. I was indirectly responsible for Maya's death. My jealousy and my selfishness killed my own sister. No matter how twisted and irrational this sounds, I think this is the truth. If only I accepted what I was supposed to have... If only I didn't feel so sad for something of no sense... There is no concrete proof, or anything that is perceivable by the senses, but only by the heart. I wanted to punish myself, but I thought that I couldn't die until I made up for what I did to my sister, whom I killed with my heart.

Jin's father told us that the child was safe with Jin. He was only thinking things over. There was nothing to be worried about.

"My son says he can't face his wife, though. He asks you to please take care of her wake and burial. He is also very sorry." Mr. Freecs told us.

My father and mother agreed. For the next few days, my parents became busy with arranging things. I didn't want to participate in any of this and they understood, for they let me stay at home.

The funeral was held two days later. It was held in Maya's house. Many of our relatives outside Kujira came. The whole village also mourned with us. There were so many people. Many played cards. I served food and drinks. They all looked at her as she lay peacefully in her coffin. I never did. Everytime I tried, a knife seemed to stab through me. It hurt so much. They told me though, that she was still smiling and she as beautiful as ever. I was content to know that.

All this time, I wore the green choker. I felt that I didn't deserve it, but it was Maya's request of me to have it. It was probably the best thing I could do to make up for what I did.

I was always crying. Whenever I seerved food to the guests, my eyes were swollen and my nose was colored bright pink. They didn't ask me why. It was normal that I'd cry.

We expected Jin to at least be there during the funeral of his wife. I was disgusted. Why can't he face his wife? He had no fault like mine.

The funeral was held for three long days. Nothing much really happened. People just came and went to look at Maya's corpse, but I don't think their hearts were as heavy as mine. Many wanted to look at the baby, whose name was still unknown to us. We told them that the baby was with the father. "Where's the father?" they asked. My parents couldn't say that he was missing. It was shameful.

Maya was buried the next night. I looked away as her coffin was carefully laid in the ground. I looked around me. A sad feeling floated all over us. My mother was crying aloud, while tears quietly fell from my eyes. My father tried not to cry in public but his face was that of grief. I gazed at the trees, trying to avoid looking at the coffin. I saw a figure slowly approaching us. As it neared, I recognized who it was.

"Mother, Jin is here!" I interrupted the minister's ceremony.

My parents and I quickly rushed to him. He caused quite a stir. He was wearing his traveling clothes and the baby was in his arms. Was he going to leave?

"Ah, Jin!" my father said. "Come."

Jin shook his head. "No, I'm not here to see her." Almost his whole face was covered. Even his eyes were unseen. We couldn' t tell what he was thinking about.

We all wanted to ask him why, but of course, that would be quite insensitive of us. Instead, he approached me and handed me the baby. Beside the baby was a small box.

"Please take care of him, Mito."

"What?"

"His name is Gon. I want you to take care of him." He started to leave. "Give him the box when he becomes a Hunter."

I looked at the baby, then my gaze followed him. "Hey, Jin!" I called after him. "Where are you going?!"

"I'm leaving."

"Why?" I asked, almost shouting at him.

"I'm a Hunter, Mito-chan." he said as he walked further. "I can't stay here."

"What do you mean? You have a son! You have to take care of him and raise him! Hey, Jin!" I called but he continued to walk away.

"Jin! Come back here!" I tried to run after him but the baby started to cry in my arms. I looked at him for the first time. He looked so much like his father, yet, a certain gentleness in his eyes reminded me of Maya. The baby continued to cry as his father went further and further. He slowly disappeared among the trees.

I handed the baby to my mother and tried to catch him. I ran as fast as I could, but I wasn't able to catch him. I stood in the forest. No, it wasn't the spot where Jin found me. Life isn't as coincidental as we think it is. I sighed. He was gone. I thought of many possible reasons why he wanted to leave. He probably couldn't stand to take care of the child. He somehow felt guilty. He thought that he couldn't deserve the child after failing his wife. It was also possible that he wanted to blame the child and wanted to rid himself of it. Maybe he wanted to forget about everything that happened. Or he just probably couldn't be a father. Jin was an adventurer at heart. He probably couldn't just stay in one place and take care of a baby boy.

No matter what the reason was, however, Jin was gone. Nobody was left to take care of the baby. My parents couldn't. They were already too old, and so was Jin's father. I was the only one who was able. Did Jin trust me? Did he not blame me for Maya's death?

I slowly started to walk back. I'd be taking care of the baby, no, Gon from then on. I was to raise him, to feed him, and to teach him. Maybe this was the best I could do to make up for what I did. I was no longer guilty, for I already found a way to atone for what I did. I'll make sure to do the best I could and give my all to this child. I know Maya will be glad.

I was back at the burial. I held Gon in my arms. He was sleeping soundly, just like his mother. I smiled for the first time. I was happy. I was already free from grief. I was free from guilt. It was time for me to take a new path and go on with my life and Gon's.

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Nine years have already passed since then.

I drained the water from the tub and went to my room to dress up. I don't think Gon had come home yet. I slowly put the choker on my neck. I looked at the sky from my window.

Hisoka. Where could he possibly be? I still love him even after what he did. It wasn't his fault. Until now I was waiting for him to see me. The time he fought with Jin was the last I ever heard of him. I could have looked for him, but of course, Gon was more important. All I can do now is just wait for him.

I heard a knock on the front door and opened it slowly. It was Gon. His clothes were tattered and his skin was full of dirt stains. He had played too much in the forest again, and he stayed there until after dark. I was happy to see him. I ahd been worried sick of where he could possibly have been or what had happened to him. I wanted to hug him and hold him in my arms so I'd never lose sight of him.

"Mito-san..." he began. He looked terribly scared. He knew he did something wrong. It was good he did.

This was today. All those events were in the past. It would be stupid to dwell on them.I have to move on. What I had to do now was scold Gon for disobeying my instructions that he shouldn't stay after dark in the forest.

Today and the future meant Gon. All those other things... Maya... Jin... Hisoka... they were all the past. But I have no plans to forget all about them. They will always be in my mind and my heart. They will remain in me just like the way Gon will. They will forever and always be in my distant dreams.

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sucks, ne? i finally ended the damn thing. nobody's been giving comments, so i can't really tell if anybody actually reads this... too sad... i just need comments. i really think the ending sucks. by the time i started to write this epilogue, i already lost interest in the fic, but i had to finish it. i've already gone too far with this one... but please, just comments on the dud ending.
yeah, all of knew this was going to happen, ne? oh, hell... it's just a damn flashback going all over again... oh... @_@