Okay, I don't know where this came from, but I wrote this all last night from about 1:30 - 2:40 am on my iPod...


Do No Evil

Phoenix made her way back through the crowded tents towards her personal quarters, wanting nothing more than a nap. It was weird to be one of only a few women stranded in a sea of men... Especially when some of those men just couldn't take a hint.

One such man was casually reclining on Phoenix's cot as she entered her tent, white over-coat thrown casually over one of her shoulders. "Kimblee, get out."

The Crimson Alchemist smiled at her sweetly. "Oh dear, Argurion, is this tent yours? They do all look so alike."

Blue eyes bored into amber as Phoenix glared at him. "Then paint yours red, Kimblee, but stop coming in here without an invitation," noting his grin, she added, "and even if you do swing an invitation, stay the hell out."

Kimblee frowned comically. "Really, Phoenix, is that any way to treat a fellow Alchemist?"

"It is if that Alchemist is you, Kimblee."

He sighed, standing up and bending over to slap invisible dust from his pants, giving Phoenix a view of his posterior in the process. "Well if that's how you're going to be about it, Argurion, I suppose I'll just leave..."

She let out a soft sigh of relief as he headed to the entrance, pausing to give her a grin before he slipped out.

"But you know, being the expert you are with barriers, I would have thought keeping pests out of your tent would be a walk in the park for you..."

Phoenix growled at him as he winked and walked out. "Infernal man!" She huffed as she moved to her cot and threw herself onto it. "But damn," she rolled over and inhaled deeply, "he does smell good..."

Phoenix stared at the diagram in her hands, wondering why she hadn't thought to do this earlier. Well, that was simple, she shouldn't. If she set up a barrier around her tent it would keep everyone out, friend and foe alike. So, the only solution was to single out Kimblee. And that meant getting something of his to use as an augmentation so the barrier could differentiate between him and everyone else. But nothing common would do. It would have to be something he kept on his person at all times, something unique to only him. And then it came to her. She'd need a lock of his hair.

Sneaking into Kimblee's tent was easier than Phoenix would have thought; especially when they had lookouts posted every five inches in case of an attack. The hard part came after infiltration. Phoenix actually had to cut off some of Kimblee's hair.

It was then that she discovered two things about Kimblee's sleeping habits that made it very hard to concentrate on lopping off some of his hair.

One; he left his hair down. Two; he slept without a shirt on.

Phoenix mentally chastised herself for notice either point with pleasure, and tried to get her mind back onto the mission. She was here to put an end to his constant infiltrating and interrupting and generally infuriating behavior. And why the hell were her hands shaking?

It was excitement, she decided. Finally she'd be able to go to sleep without fear of waking up to him leaning over her, clearly having watched her sleep. She'd be able to get dressed without rushing through the motions and keeping a constant lookout for an amber set of eyes peering in at her around some crack in the canvas.

So why couldn't she do it? It was just a little hair, no big deal. Just enough of him to keep him out... But maybe she didn't want to keep him out? Maybe she liked knowing that at least one man still saw her as a woman, not a weapon. Maybe she liked the attention... And maybe she was an idiot for not realizing it sooner.

Phoenix sighed softly, tucking the scissors she'd brought with her back into a pocket of her uniform. As she tuned to leave, a hand snaked out and caught her wrist, stopping her in her tracks.

"Couldn't wait for me to come to you, huh?" Kimblee's voice was, as always, tinged with laughter and a touch of sarcasm.

"Caught me." Phoenix replied in a whisper as a guard passed just outside the tent's entrance. "I couldn't keep away any longer; I had to come see you in all your shirtless glory."

Kimblee grinned, eyebrows rising up his forehead. "Glorious now, am I? And only yesterday you were calling me grotesque. Funny how these things change so quickly."

"Yes, hilarious." Phoenix snapped, trying to free herself from his grasp. "Now that we've had our laughs I'll be leaving."

Kimblee's care-free smile faded. "What are you doing in here, Argurion?"

Phoenix stopped her struggling. Kimblee only called her by her last name when he was really mad or really serious, and at the moment he appeared to be both. She sighed. "I came to cut a lock of your hair."

Kimblee blinked. "As romantic as that sounds, I have a sneaking suspicion that your intent was a little more sinister."

Phoenix didn't look him in the eye. "I was going to make a barrier to keep you out of my tent."

He blinked. "Really now? Little Phoenix finally decided to make the big-bad-Kimblee go away, huh?"

"Shut-up." Phoenix snapped again, trying to free herself once more. "Let me go and we can forget any of this happened."

But Kimblee didn't let her go. He did something else entirely.

With strength and agility Phoenix had not known he possessed, Kimblee pulled her over the cot, over him, and onto the stiff mattress next to him.

Phoenix's cheeks flamed red. "What the HELL do you think-" she stopped as Kimblee put a hand over her mouth, holding perfectly still as he waiting for something.

Not thirty seconds later, a guard poked his head into the tent, peering around the semi-darkness for a moment before moving on.

"You need to get back to your tent." Kimblee said shortly, letting his hand slide away from her mouth as he pushed himself up onto one elbow. "It'll be bad if you're found missing."

Phoenix blinked. Since when had Solf J. Kimblee cared if someone else got into trouble? "But-"

"But nothing. Your weird fetishes can wait, Phoenix, you need to get back to your tent."

Phoenix blinked repeatedly, trying to pay attention. Kimblee was warm in the bed next to her, his hand practically molten where it lay against her shoulder, and his jet black hair was rippling in the breeze that had managed to wind its way past the canvas of the tent. And his scent was everywhere around her, filling her nostrils, filling her head, making it hard to think and breathe at the same time.

"Phoenix...?" His voice came out gentle and a touch concerned. "Phoenix, are you alright?" He actually cared...

"I need you to stop touching me." Phoenix managed softly. "And let me up."

Kimblee did both, amber eyes cloudy as he watched her sit up and rub her temples, trying to clear her head.

"Should I walk you back?" He offered after a moment.

"That is the last thing you should do." Phoenix replied. "But I do need to get back." Damn night-patrols keeping her from... She stopped that thought before it could turn into an image and make it even harder to breathe than it already was.

Phoenix managed to get off the cot without touching Kimblee, and hurried to the tent's entrance, desperate for escape.

"Aren't you forgetting something?"

Phoenix paused and turned to look at him, an eyebrow raised. "What?"

Kimblee smirked, twisting a lock of hair around his forefinger. "This."

"Keep it." Phoenix quickly turned away from him, the image of a half-naked Crimson Alchemist thoroughly alluring. "Like you said, my weird fetishes can wait."

He laughed.

This is gonna be a Two-Shot, I think, so let me know what you think.

I love Kimblee. I really do. I have ever since I watched the first anime way back in 2003.

I don't know why I always fall for the villains, but I do. He is the perfect example of this.

Phoenix Argurion/The Silver Flame Alchemist belongs to: Silver Flame Alchemist (aka Me)

All other characters and locations belong to: Hiromu Arakawa