"This is a test of the Emergency Broadcast System…"
by pari106

Disclaimer: Not mine; Rating: G. Spoilers: "Freak Nation". Code: M/L, short.

A/N: This is just a pointless little fic I had to write because I can't help thinking, whenever I watch that scene at the beginning of the show's finale, what if Logan had something up his sleeve then that we don't know about? If anyone reads this, review.


Tests. Logan had taken many. But none whose results mattered as much as the ones he
would receive today. There could only be one of two outcomes to today's self-imposed
test. He could be right – about Joshua's transfusion having given him the necessary
antibodies to defeat the virus. The same way it had given him back the use of his legs.
And all his prayers of the last year would be answered.

Or he could be wrong.

And he would die.

Was Logan willing to bet his life on one simple question?

He hesitated, for only a moment, before laying his hand on Max's skin, just above one of
the runes he'd agreed to translate for her. He imagined that he could feel her skin against
his, at the point where he'd punctured the protective gloves he wore. The hole he'd made
in the latex was large enough, presumably, for infection, not so large that he could
actually feel Max's back as he touched her. So, of course, it was all his imagination. But
he imagined it anyway. He'd told her once that his mother had always believed in Fate.
She had. But Logan had never told Max about his father's philosophy on the subject.

Logan Cale Sr. had believed in tests.

According to him, everything in life was a test. A death, a birth, a wedding…a divorce.
A woman dropping through your sky light in the middle of the night; a shooting. A virus.
All those things would fall into the category of "test" if Logan's father were still around
to say so. Logan thought of his father often, and whenever he did, more often than not,
he tormented himself with thoughts of the elder Cale. He speculated on what his father
would have thought, had he known how he'd handled some of his own, personal life
tests.

What would he have said? If he knew how things had turned out with Valerie? If he
knew how things were turning out with Max? What would he have said, if he knew how
close Logan had come to failing the biggest test of all, that day it had felt like he'd never
make it out of his wheelchair. Except with the help of a gun.

Logan had been that close to failing that test when what his mother would have called
"fate" had intervened. And he knew that if he were wrong today, then his actions could
very well be perceived as an attempt at suicide the same as the last time. Only this time,
Logan's weapon of choice was a touch not a bullet. And this time it wasn't a way out
Logan was looking for. Even if it were, no one would ever know. He couldn't tell Max
what he'd planned; she'd never have allowed it.

This time, when Logan faced death, literally, by his own hand, it wasn't because he
wanted to die. It was because he wanted something else entirely. He wanted a message.

He wanted to send a message to Max. He wanted to do something that would tell her the
things he couldn't tell her in words. He wanted to tell her that he hadn't given up on
them, and never would; that only death could push him away. He wanted to show Max
how less worthy of living his life had become without the prospect of having her in it.

And more importantly, Logan wanted to send a message to Fate. A message that he
would not be beaten. If not by a divorce or a shooting or a pair of big brown eyes that
had turned his world around, then certainly not by a damned virus. He wanted to send
himself that message. He wanted to broadcast it, so loud and so clear, with his actions,
that Max wouldn't be able to run from it; that he wouldn't be able to doubt it.

He wanted to send his message before it was too late, and he'd given up hope; faith. In
Fate, if he'd ever had it. And in himself.

When Max left, Logan simply stood there, staring at his hands, still encased in their
gloves.

And waited to see whether or not he'd passed.






Beneath
a drabble-and-a-half by pari106 ;P


"If Sandeman put these in your genome from day one…then it's part of a plan," he told
Max.

With steady hands, and a steady gaze, Logan could almost pretend that holding her hand
again wasn't the best thing that had happened to him in months.

"Yeah, well…why didn't he give me something I could use? Like x-ray vision, or
something?" Max quipped.

With smiling lips, laughing eyes… She could almost pretend the same wasn't true for
herself.

'X-ray vision… Hmm.' The power to see through things; beneath them.

"Maybe he did…" Logan began. 'Like the power to see beneath the fear, the lies, keeping
us apart.'

"Maybe it just hasn't shown up yet." Maybe it would.

Maybe he just had to keep hoping. From the look in Max's eyes, the look he'd seen once
too often to think he'd imagined it, Logan believed that hope might not be in vain.