Stop Complaining

Summary: Buffy finds it hard to be sympathetic when her friend complains about her screwy love life.

Challenge: a thank you fic to sambrooke, who has been a loyal reader/reviewer. Sorry it took so long; I was trying a different take earlier and it wasn't flowing, so I decided to go with this part of the request instead:

Buffy watching a women's soccer match and starts talking to Olivia Lennox about their love lives?

Timeline: early season 2 for BtVS, post-movie for StM.

Warning: nothing really, but BAngel fans probably won't be happy.

Thanks to my betas: none this time.

Disclaimer: BtVS and AtS characters belong to Joss Whedon / Mutant Enemy. She's the Man characters belong to Andy Fickman and DreamWorks. I claim no rights to any copyrighted material. Please do not copy or take this story without my permission.

Kent Prep School


"…And then he lifts his shirt to show everyone his boobs! The sweet, sensitive guy I was falling for was really a girl! I was sooo mortified! Turns out she's the sister of the guy she was pretending to be. Now I'm not sure if I'm gay or bi or what. My love life sucks!"

Buffy stared silently at her friend, Olivia Lennox, for several minutes while she tried to think of how to comfort the semi-distraught girl. It was obvious that she didn't hate the girl who pretended to be this Sebastian guy. If she did, why would she have come to Sunnydale to cheer for Illyria's soccer team against the Kent Prep's team?

Okay sure…what happened was embarrassing for probably more than one person, but compared to some of the crap she's had to deal with over the last few years? Buffy would give practically anything for something as simple as a girl pretending to be a guy. Although, on the Hellmouth, it would probably end up with her actually becoming one or something.

"Come back to me when your love life involves somebody wanting to kill you in exchange for power or eternal life," Buffy finally decided on saying. Olivia was one of the few people who knew what her 'dark secret' really was. "A few weeks ago, I had a college guy try to sacrifice me to a demon for money and power, then just last weekend, Ford tried to use me as his ticket to vampire-land. Oh, and by the way, I'm attracted to a vampire! Being confused about my sexual orientation would be a welcome change to all that!"

Olivia pouted at Buffy when the blonde Slayer finished her rant. "You know, you make it no fun to complain about normal stuff anymore. Whenever I have a bad situation, you always have a story which is like a hundred times worse."

Shrugging, Buffy quipped, "Ehh, glad to put things into perspective for you. Now, I assume that the player with long hair was the faux-Seb? Did you ever kiss him/her?"

"I'll tell you if you tell me about this vampire you like," Olivia bargained.

Espresso Pump

By the time the game was over and they went for coffee, both girls had gotten a detailed account of each other's pathetic love lives.

"Okay, so I know that I'm not really one to give out romantic advice and everything-" Olivia started cautiously as they sat down with their frothy caffeinated beverages.

"But you have something to say and nothing in the world can stop you?" Buffy cut in, smirking at her friend. Actually, she was kind of relieved that Olivia was going to give her some advice. Xander was too jealous to be objective; Willow seemed to want to live vicariously through Buffy; Giles was too…adult to understand what teen hormones were like anymore.

"Precisely!" Olivia responded with a grin. "Stop me if I have any of this wrong. When he first came into your life, Angel would give you a cryptic warning about something bad, but leave it up to you to handle by yourself most of the time. Eventually, though, he got off his ass and started helping you on a semi-regular basis."

She paused for a moment to wait for Buffy's nod. When she got it, Olivia pressed on, "On the romantic side of things, he didn't tell you he was a vampire until you guys kissed and he got all vampy. Well, I'm not sure that counts as telling you, as much as accidentally showing you. But then he basically disappeared on you after killing the chick who tried to kill you, right?"

Another nod.

"He'd flirt with you, but not really do anything beyond that unless some other guy showed an interest first – like the college guy who tried to sacrifice you," Olivia said, hoping that Buffy could tell where she was going with this.

Yet another, slower nod this time. Apparently she was catching on.

"I think you should cut him loose, Buffy," Olivia declared. "Sounds like he's one of those guys who's more interested in the idea of you than he is actually interested in you. I mean, why else would he only do date stuff when he's about to lose you to another guy? And for crying out loud, he's jealous of one of your best friends, who I can tell you aren't the slightest bit attracted to – even though I've never met him. It's obvious from the way you talk about Xander that he's one of the girls."

Buffy giggled slightly, "I said that to him once…when I was under a spell that made me act kinda drunkish. I told Xander that he was one of the girls. Wonder what I would have blurted out to Angel if I had seen him that day," she mused mostly to herself.

Nudging her friend to bring her back to the present, Olivia said, "Give the living a few more chances before settling for the dead. Eww, that sounds so gross if you don't know about vampires."

"Even if you do," Buffy allowed absently. Now that she thought about the details, it made her feel a little sick to the stomach that she kissed Angel. "Despite the fact that Angel's a special case with his soul, there's still the ick factor of him drinking blood."

"And the fact that he couldn't do stuff like go to an outdoor daytime event like this without…" Olivia's face scrunched up in confusion for a second "…since they're dead already, what do you call it when they-"

"Cease to exist?" Buffy completed the thought for her. "To make it easier, we just say die. Why worry about a vocab lesson when something is trying to kill you or turn you into its playmate?"

Wanting to get back to the matter at hand, Olivia said, "How's this for a deal? I'll go out with one girl and one boy – just to see which sex I enjoy being with more – and you go out with two guys…unless you want to give lesbianism a go, too?" she suggested mischievously.

"Too many more crappy dates with guys, and I just might," Buffy shot back. Somehow she didn't think that's how lesbianism worked, but who knows? Maybe the reason it never worked out with guys was because deep down, she didn't want it to. Turning back to Olivia with a smirk, she teased, "Hey, would this count as a date?"

Slightly intrigued – both at the idea and that Buffy was proposing it – Olivia retorted, "Only if we include some dancing." Glancing around the room to make sure nobody was watching, she leaned over so she was just inches away from Buffy's lips and added, "Maybe a kiss or two."

A/N: I'll leave it up to your imaginations whether they make it a date and if so, whether it's successful or not.