Ch10, part 9 & 10.
Breaking your own heart, part 9
After I finished with my shower I quickly rushed to get dressed. Edward was nice enough to pick out some of his smallest things for me. They were still a little big on me though. A pair of old shorts that if I rolled up the top a little just barely kept from falling off my hips and a T-shirt that could hold two of me inside. It wasn't a perfect fit but they were comfortable and in any case, they were clean. I hadn't really noticed until Edward said something but I'd been wearing the same outfit for two whole days now and it felt really good to get cleaned up. Once I fixed myself into his clothes as best as I could, I walked out to find Edward again. He was sitting on the couch in the living room, watching TV.
"Ready to go?" I asked as I stood in the doorway.
He jumped a little, surprised. "Oh, Bella." Edward said as he turned to look at me and then he froze, staring at me. "Hi."
His staring was making me nervous, did I look that bad in his over-sized outfit? "What?" I demanded as I tried not to show my discomfort under his stare. "I won't have to wear it for long."
Suddenly he thawed out and rushed over to me. "NO, … I, I mean its ok." Edward stuttered. "No, I'm sorry I was staring. … Well, no I'm not sorry about that." He said smiling as his eyes glanced back cross my form. "But I'm sorry you misunderstood. Bella, you look great, beautiful even. More than that even."
"Ok, enough jokes Mister." I said while rolling my eyes as I walked passed him to grab my shoes. "Come on, lets go."
He snuck up behind me and wrapped his arms around me before I could even take three steps away from him. "Oh I mean it Bella." Edward whispered into my ear and kissed my neck. "I like it, … I like this look a lot for you. In fact, its very … sexy, Love."
That was not a word used very often by Edward. … I think I've only heard him use it once and by then it had been a joke. But right now, he seemed be very sincere and that's probably what worried me. Nothing could make me more nervous around him than when he started using words he normally never would. And that word was probably the scariest I'd ever heard him say before. Not to mention how untrue it had to be. I know for a fact I've never been something close to … sexy. Its just something that does not fit me.
"Umm, ok." I whispered as I tried to think of a way out of this situation. "Well, glad you like it then. Now can I get my shoes?"
"Sure, then I'll drive you to Charlie's." Edward answered after placing kiss on my shoulder. "But you can keep them."
"Thanks, that's very kind of you." I said back as I grabbed my shoes, trying to hide my blushing face from him. "Ok, lets go."
We got our shoes and left shortly after that and the talk about my look was finally over. I caught Edward glancing at me off and on as we walked out to his car but it was better than him just staring. Part of me liked the idea that he liked me in his clothes but the majority of me just found it embarrassing. It was hard for me to not blush every time I saw him looking my way. Even while he was driving down the road he would catch my eye from time to time.
"I don't think Dad will be home for another few hours." I said as we got closer to Charlie's house. "That's plenty of time to change."
"And maybe you should pack a few extra things." Edward recommended as an after thought. "You know, just in case."
"Yeah, good idea." I agreed. "I almost forgot that none of my stuff is over at you place anymore. Its going to take some time to readjust to being together again, not that everything is different."
"It doesn't have to be." Edward said as we turned onto the next road. "Different I mean. The only thing between us that is different is that someday you're going to marry me."
"Yeah but none of my stuff is at your place so its not the same." I answered softly. "It doesn't feel the same when I have to go home just for a change of my own clothes. It doesn't feel like home."
"It will again." Edward answered confidently. "Soon, … you'll pack a bag for today and soon it will be just the same. After all, at some point it just might be your home, Bella."
"That's true … some day we'll be married and living together, starting a family of our own and…" I started thinking about everything and what all this would mean for us.
Before I lost my mind and tried to take myself away from Edward I used to spend almost every day and night over at Edward's. It felt just like a second home to me even when he was still living with his parents back in school. I'd spend lots of nights with Alice and Rose but mostly I'd hang out with Edward during the day. I always felt at home around all of them, it was just as easy as if they were my family. Esme and Carlisle always treated me like another one of their kids and the boys took care of me, just like a little sister. Even though I left all of them without so much as a word, they all seemed to bring me back into their lives as if nothing has changed. They welcomed me back with open and loving arms, like Edward.
"Bella, we don't need to talk about all that now." Edward said bringing me back from my thoughts as he took my hand. "I now its going to take some time before you're ready to talk about the future and I'm more than willing to wait Bella. No rush, as long as you'll stay by my side long enough for us to have a future."
"I want to bring my stuff back over." I said suddenly and almost without thinking about it. "Edward, like it was before everything."
He smiled but looked a little confused. "That's what we're here for Bella." Edward said softly. "You can pack a few things that you'll need for when you come over and stay a while."
"But Edward, I don't want to stay a while." I told him honestly, part of me wasn't sure why I was still talking.
"You don't have to Bella." Edward told me looking even more confused now. "You don't have to come back with me, we can talk here if you'd like and then I'll go home alone."
"NO, … no I mean I don't want to just pack for a few days." I mused without thought and looking him in the eye. "Edward I want to move in with you. I may not be ready for talks about weddings and stuff but I know I want to spend forever with you. I want to live together and I want to wake up every morning just like this."
"Wow, … really?" Edward asked smiling. "Bella that's, that's amazing! I can't believe it. … I love you so much, Bella."
Just then he smiled so brightly and I've never been so happy. Edward and I were going to live together and when the time was right, we'd be getting married. I thought nothing could make this better but then he leaned in and kissed me passionately. After that very lovely kiss we got out of his car and walked hand-in-hand into the house. We rushed up to my room so I could pack the most essential things for the next few days. I'd get the rest after we talked things over and spilled the happy news to Charlie.
"Are we telling him today or waiting?" Edward asked after a while of packing, just as I was putting the last shirt in my bag.
"Umm, well I don't think I'm moving in tonight." I said sheepishly trying to avoid telling my Dad for as long as possible.
"We have to tell him at some point, Bella." Edward pointed out stubbornly and I knew I couldn't avoid this any longer.
"Ok, ok." I gave in as I grabbed my bags off the bed. "Fine, you're right. We'll wait here for him and tell him the good news."
"I think that's a great idea." Edward beamed happily. "This way it doesn't matter how soon we moving you in."
"He won't like this idea, you know." I muttered as Edward helped carry things down stairs and out to his car. "Not at all."
"He is your father, Bella." Edward stated. "He doesn't have to like this idea. He also can't stop us from being together."
I sighed defeated. "Yes I know." I turned to shut the door after we got back inside and followed him into the living room. "He couldn't really stop us even back when we were in high school."
"We were and will always be in love Bella." Edward said with conviction as we sat together on the couch to wait.
We spent the rest of the time, waiting for Charlie, curled up on the couch and watching TV. It was like we went back in time to High school and just hanging out at my place. Edward was laughing and smiling with his arms wrapped around me and I was resting with my head against his shoulder. Everything was simple and peaceful as time passed and the shows were playing in the background. It wasn't long until I completely forgot out stressing over Charlie coming home and having to tell him about our news. Soon, I was even drifting off during a rerun of an old show we used to watch.
Breaking your own heart, part 10
It didn't take Bella long to fall asleep as we waited for her father to get home from work. She had been so tired the last couple of days and with everything that was going on, I was just glad to see her getting some sleep. Plus she was so adorable as she curled up in my arms. I love watching as her head slowly nods, like it does when she's trying to fight sleep. Nothing could be more precious to me than Bella. I glanced at the clock after a while of just watching her sleep. Charlie would be home soon. I couldn't have been more exited for him to get here but Bella had been a little nervous. Even if this was her idea, I knew it would be difficult for Bella to leave her father here alone. For so long Chief Swan had been living alone but then Bella came into his life again and he seemed much happier. Of course, then she came into my life as well and things changed for everyone. Bella made me the happiest I've ever been but Charlie was left feeling like he was loosing his little girl. Now, since I'm not a father myself I can't truly say I understand the feeling but I image it close to the feeling I got when I lost Bella.
"Edward." Bella mused in her sleep, probably dreaming about me and she's smiling so that's good. "Hmm, My Edward."
I leaned down and gently kissed her forehead. "Sweet dreams, My Love." I whispered as I brushed her hair away from her face.
Just then I heard the key in the lock of the front door and … even though I was waiting for this, my heart still started racing. I knew Charlie wouldn't be happy about this but we were all adults now. Bella's father can't stop her from moving on with her life. Still, I couldn't help but feeling like the teenage boy I used to be with his little girl fast asleep in my arms again. Any minute now, he'll walk in here to find Bella and I and then we'll tell him our plans to move in together. He won't be happy at first, I'm sure, but it will be ok. By this point, he knows we are here because my car is parked out front and Bella has been spending the last few nights at my place.
"Bella!" Charlie called as soon as he walked into the house, his voice was filled with hidden emotions. "Bella you home?"
"We're in here, Chief Swan." I called back trying not to wake Bella, she needed to sleep as long as possible.
He walked into the room with more restraint than his voice had subjected before, calmer now. "Edward." He nodded as he came in and saw Bella sleeping, then sat in his chair. "Good to see she's catching the sleep she's been missing. Been here long?"
"Not really Sir." I answered simply. "Just came to get a few of Bella's things. I'm sorry I've kept from home for so long."
"Does umm, does this mean you're back again?" Charlie asked hesitantly. "You two back to together again, you know she could do better right? Some people actually care about Bella and would never hurt her the way you have, Edward."
That made me flinch a little but I deserved every word. "No Sir, I know what I've done in the past but this is different." I told him with conviction and certainty. "I'm not going to let Bella slip away from me again and once she wakes up, we'd like to talk with you."
He just sat there, thinking. "I don't like you Edward." Charlie said simply then sighed. "But Bella was miserable without you and I don't want that to happen to her again. Jacob would never hurt her like that but she doesn't love him. She loves you." he leaned back into his chair with a soft huff. "Just … don't hurt her again."
"Believe me Sir, I have no intentions of ever hurting Bella." I answered honestly as I looked down at the sleeping angel. "Bella is the only person that has ever mattered to me this much. Anything I have ever done to her was only what I thought was best for her. I admit that in the past I've made some wrong choices but so has Bella. Chief Swan, … Charlie, I can promise that its in the past."
"Hmm. If you say so, boy." Charlie scoffed but I'll prove it to him in the future then it was silent for a while. "So, this uh talk?"
"Its more to do with what Bella has to say." I told him carefully, I didn't want to worry him but I didn't want to say anything either.
"Uh huh." Charlie said to himself as he went to grab the remote control, then looked back at Bella and decided against it.
Suddenly Bella stirred in her sleep and shot straight up in a daze. "Wh, … wait, what happened?" Bella stuttered out.
"Bella, … Its alright, Love." I assured her softly. "It was a dream."
"Bella?" Charlie asked at the same time. "What's wrong."
"OH, … Dad, you're home." Bella noted as she started calming down again. "Oh. It was a dream … no worries then."
"You ok Hun?" Charlie asked still a little worried.
"Yeah, Dad. … Welcome home." Bella told him. "Umm sorry about the sudden visit after not being home the last few days."
"I told him that we were waiting so we all could talk." I explained as I wrapped my arms around Bella again so she'd relax more.
"Oh, yeah." Bella said slowly. "We did … want to talk to you Dad. … About something important. … Its good news."
"Oh? … Good news huh?" Charlie said unconvinced.
Bella looked back at me, I smiled at her and took held her hand for support. "Yeah Dad, it is good news, great news really." Bella told him a little more confident. "Edward and I are back together again … and, well and we are moving in together. What I mean is, … well, I'll be moving to Edward's apartment with him."
I gently squeezed Bella's shoulders reassuringly. "Chief Swan, Charlie, before you say anything just take the time to think about this." I said quickly as I could see his face turning red with shock. "Bella and I are in love, we have been for a long time and even though we've made mistakes in the past, we've learned. We need to be together because that's when we were the happiest. Bella means the world to me and honestly, we aren't the same teenagers we used to be. Before these last few months Bella had been spending more and more time over at my apartment anyway. Bella and I are back together and we're happy again. Its going to stay that way this time because I'm not letting her get away again."
Charlie's expression was blank for a few minutes, listening but thinking things through that the same time. "Moving in together is a big step, Bella." Charlie said slowly. "You sure?"
She simply nodded. … "More than anything Dad." Bella answered without any hesitation. "This was my idea."
"Are you, …" He paused to take a deep breath. "You packing to leave tonight? Moving everything might take some time."
"No Sir, tonight we only came to pick up a few things for a day or so." I assured him quickly. "Bella won't be moving just yet."
"It will be soon but probably not for at least a month so I can gather everything and get everything settled." Bella explained.
The talk with Bella's father wasn't nearly as bad as either of us thought it would be. He was very calm and for the most part he listened to what we had to say with out arguing. It was a lot different than conversations we've had with him in the past. Back when we first started dating … and even after the first time I'd left Bella back in high school because I thought she was in love with someone else. I had been a fool for thinking I could leave her back then but Bella and I had both made that mistake. It won't be happening ever again, I've learned from my past. I can't live without my Bella and she can't live without me. Makes me happy!