A/N: Hello everyone! I know what you're thinking. "Wep! I thought you were dead or something, it's been so long since you posted anything." Well, nope, not dead. I've just been insanely busy of late. So what would make me ignore my busy schedule and get back to writing? Well it took two very special women to accomplish that feat. One of them, of course, being the Adorable Psycho. And the other is someone who has become a dear friend of mine. Catrogue and I met through Twitter, and have become fast friends, and quite frankly, I adore her sense of humor, and her passion for life. So it happens that today, November 25th, is her birthday, and I thought that someone as awesome at the Cat herself deserved an AP story all her own. And so, on this very special day, she's going to get one. This story is dedicated to Catrogue, and I wish her a very happy and healthy birthday!
Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck, and I don't own Catrogue. Though she could totally possess me if she wanted. Heh.
Chapter 1: Put Your Money on the Table
Chuck Bartowski liked to think of himself as a well informed man, especially in all things involved in the Nerd Universe. So it was that he was very busy reading up on rumors and speculation about the new title Bioware was to announce in just a few short weeks.
His concentration, however, was broken when the front door to his apartment swung open, and he saw his girlfriend skip merrily into the living room.
Sarah's moods were quirky, to be kind, and a good mood, he knew, could be just as dangerous as a particularly foul mood.
Generally, the only things that could make Sarah so happy as to randomly skip into a room were a particularly satisfying kill, or coming up with a new place or position for her daily "plowing." Both options frightened Chuck in their own unique way.
And so he held his breath as he waited for Sarah to announce the source of her current joy.
She didn't make him wait long, continuing her path from the front door to stand just in front of where he was seated on the couch.
"Chuuuu-uuuuck," she said in an all-too-happy, sing-songy voice. "Do you know what Saturday is?"
Chuck thought for a moment. He thought long and hard. But honestly, he had no answer.
"You got me," he admitted. "What's Saturday?"
Sarah's huge smile quickly turned into a pouty frown. "It's my birthday," she answered.
"Oh," Chuck said. But wait, that didn't seem right. "But wasn't it your birthday two months ago, when you wanted amnesty for going over your limit?"
"Weellll," Sarah drawled.
"And wasn't it also your birthday back in April when you demanded we make love on the Nerd Herd counter? While there were customers in the store?"
"I do not 'make love,' Chuck. You know this."
"Still," Chuck said.
"And all the customers were huge nerds that had probably never seen a naked woman before, I'm sure they wouldn't have complained."
"Stop avoiding the question, Sarah," Chuck said impatiently.
"Fine," Sarah huffed. "If you insist, I have papers right here that prove that this weekend is my birthday."
She pulled some folded papers from the back pocket of her jeans, and shoved them in Chuck's face.
With a sigh, Chuck took the offered documents from her, and unfolded them. Sure enough, there was a long-form birth certificate for Sarah Lisa Walker dated November 26, 1980.
"See," Sarah said.
"This is not—that's not even your real name," Chuck said. "How am I supposed to believe that this is finally your real birthday?"
Sarah shrugged. "That's the advantage to being an international woman of mystery, I guess," she said. "I can have as many birthdays as I want."
"You do realize, this being your third birthday this year, that at your current pace, you'll be 40 soon."
Sarah was not to be deterred. "Or," she said, "I could never have another birthday, and I'll stay in my sexual prime for the rest of our lives."
Chuck deflated. He knew she wasn't kidding. Sarah wasn't the kidding type.
"Fine," he said. "So what are we doing for thisbirthday? Make love-"
"Chuck," Sarah warned.
"Right, sorry, bangin an office building?" Chuck corrected.
"That's better," Sarah said. "But offices are so last week. By which I mean I really enjoyed getting plowed in the office last Wednesday, but it's time for something new."
Chuck sighed. "What then?"
"I'm so glad you asked," Sarah said. "You're going to take me for a weekend getaway at the lake. Just you, me, and very little clothing."
"But I don't want to go away," Chuck whined.
"But it's my birthday," Sarah pouted.
"It's not your real birthday."
"You don't know that," she said.
"But it's not," Chuck protested.
"Fine," Sarah said. "I'll even sweeten the pot for you. I promise I won't kill anyone while we're at the lake."
That piqued Chuck's interest. Even if he didn't believe her for a moment.
"Okay," he said. "We'll go away. But I would bet you can't go the whole weekend without killing."
"I can too," Sarah cried.
"Oh yeah?" Chuck asked. "So here's the deal. If you break your promise, if you kill even one person, we come home immediately, and there's no sex for a full week."
"That's not fair!" Sarah said.
"Why? Are you saying you're going to break your promise already?" Chuck asked.
"Then you shouldn't have any problem taking the bet."
Sarah chewed her lip (her thinking expression, and an expression Chuck found irresistibly adorable, even if he'd never tell Sarah that, as she'd surely take advantage of that) as she mulled it over.
"Fine, you're on," she said.
"Shall we shake on it?" Chuck asked.
Sarah snorted. "Shake? That's not how we seal bets around here, buddy."
"What? Then how..."
Chuck's follow-up question died on his lips. There was really no need to even ask it. Sarah answered the question quite well by stripping off her top, and straddling Chuck's lap.
"Oh," he said. "So we screw on it, then?"
"Yep," Sarah said, before crashing her hips against his.
Then they sealed the bet. Twice.
A/N: So that's it for the first chapter. I'm out of town visiting family right now, so I can't promise when the second chapter will be posted, but suffice it to say that this story is almost completely written already, and once I return to the Windy City, I'll more than likely post a chapter a day until it's complete. Just one more time, I must say Happy Birthday Catrogue. I hope you get everything you wish for, and more. You guys are awesome. Peace.