I look away, unable to stand the accusing glare he's directing at me. I know he's hurting and I am too, but I can't let him see that. I have to remain impassive, like I don't care, so that he won't question me about it. The scenario replays endlessly in my mind every night, and I have to forcefully push away the regret which surfaces each time I see him.
I had been injured in an Auror mission, and when I came to in St Mungo's, I found him holding my hand. The relief on his face showed clearly, and I couldn't help but to be touched by it.
"Draco…you're awake. You scared me, you know. I don't want to see you hurt again. Will you…will you let me protect you?" I couldn't believe it. It was all I wanted, what I had fantasized about countless times. But the Healer entered the room, and it brought me back to reality. I pulled my hand away, hoping he hadn't felt my racing pulse. I hated to disappoint the earnest hope I saw in his expression, but I had to.
"No. You're tired, Potter. You're not thinking clearly. I appreciate your concern, but you should go and get some rest yourself."
"Please, go. I'm tired and I want to rest." It was an excuse, and both of us knew it. Nonetheless, he left.
Lost in my thoughts, I don't notice Harry approaching me until it's too late. His familiar scent assails my nostrils, and I can't stop myself from responding to the passionate assault he launches on my mouth. By the time I remember to push him away, I'm breathing heavily. I swipe my hand over my mouth, pretending disgust that I don't feel.
"Potter, what do you think you're doing?"
I see hurt flash in his eyes at the gesture, and I have to suppress my wince. However, it is quickly replaced by determination.
"Don't lie to me, Malfoy. I know that you want me, I felt it just now. So tell me, what's the real reason why you won't give me a chance?"
"Think what you like, Potter." He is holding me pinned against the wall, and the only reason why I'm not attempting to get free is that I know it will be a pointless struggle. Before I can stop him, he pries open my mouth, tips the required three drops of Veritaserum on my tongue, and repeats his question. I growl in frustration.
"Because…because I don't deserve you, Harry. Okay? I used to be a Death Eater after all, I'll just tarnish your reputation. You'll probably get tired of it and drop me after a while, so it's better this way. Just get over the idea that you like me and find someone else more worthy of you." I see realisation dawn on his face and I turn away, not wanting to see him walk away from me though I have practically forced him to. Instead, I feel him tip my chin up after he releases his grip on my arms, and he looks straight into my eyes and he consumes Veritaserum too.
"Draco, you're an Auror now, you've shown everyone that you've changed. Besides, I don't care about what the others will think. What I know is that I love you."
My eyes widen and I nod dumbly, unable to say anything more in my shock and hoping he gets the message. Amazingly, he seems to, and I hold him back tightly this time as he pulls me in for another kiss.