Author's Note: Wow, this came out of nowhere. It's just a random, meaningless piece, but I hope you enjoy it anyway.
Major Monogram had seen many things and met many agents in his time. Agents not getting along was a normal occurrence; little Agent W, for example, used to be picked on by Agent T but it was usually nothing more than playground bullying. The problem was easily solved by making sure they sat at opposite ends of the table when it came to meetings.
When Agent Perry had begun his training, Monogram knew that they had a prodigy on their hands. Perhaps it had something to do with how platypuses were a mixture of several different animals so Agent P had the advantage of a beak and a powerful tail. Agent P was also serious and professional, even when the major himself wasn't. He expected no problems from the platypus.
Then Agent Peter came along. He had a recommendation from the OWCA branch in Seattle, and he requested to be situated in Danville. They were still looking for a permanent replacement for Agent T, so they put him on the case. Unfortunately, he didn't last there long.
A few days after Agent Peter was hired, Monogram found a few hours in which he could afford to squeeze in a meeting. Their newest agent would be introduced then, amongst other topics.
Naturally, Monogram and Carl were first in the conference room. The agents came trickling in a little while later. Agent Peter came in after most of their agents were already seated, sitting to attention. Agent Perry was one of them.
What happened next, everybody but Major Monogram and maybe Carl could have anticipated. Peter and Perry locked eyes, then lunged at each other, fur bristling and growling. Monogram and Carl gave cries of surprise as the two animals wrestled on the table, sending papers and Styrofoam cups flying. Several of the agents similarly cried out in distress, but most of them simply rolled their eyes or made noises of amusement.
Eventually, Major Monogram came to his senses and jumped forward to drag Agent Peter away. Agent C jumped onto the table and hissed softly at Agent Perry, and he backed down. He and Agent C were friends, but he would never dare cross her.
Even as Perry and Peter were being held at opposite ends of the room, they continued glaring and snarling their displeasure. Agent D shook his head as if in exasperation.
'Agents, act professional!' Monogram barked, placing Agent Peter down and holding him firmly. 'What is going on with you two? You're fighting like cat and dog! No offence, Agents D and C,' he added quickly. They both shrugged their indifference.
'This is the first time I've seen you acting this way, Agent Perry,' Monogram went on, looking sternly at Perry. 'You're our best agent; what's gotten into you?'
Perry chattered angrily at Peter, evidently feeling no shame at his childish behaviour.
'It is clear to me you two cannot work together. Agent Peter, I'll be sending you to Wanda's division. Carl, go and help him sort that out.'
'Yes, sir,' Carl said hastily. He was either eager to get out of the fray, or to get Agent Peter away from Agent Perry, as he wasted no time in ushering Agent Peter out.
'Care to explain, Agent Perry?' said Monogram, turning a stern eye to him.
Apparently not. Agent Perry scowled, and to Monogram's astonishment, most of the agents began smirking. Agent R nudged Perry with a playful wink. And – and was Agent Perry blushing?
Major Monogram turned his back on them all and sighed, a hand on his forehead. He asked himself for nth time: why did he have to work as the head of a crime-fighting organisation that hired animals?