Hazy

By The Dawn Dreamer

A/N: This kind of fell out of me because my overwhelming desire for Pezberry wasn't being fed and so I had to write it myself.

You found her, oddly enough, on your front porch waiting for you to drive home from the ballet class shared with Brittany. You'd frowned when you got out of your car, because you didn't see the red Chevy Sonic that the cheerio had finally managed to buy over the summer. She stood from the weathered porch swing before you could say anything.

"Sorry for just showing up, I thought um, I thought I could maybe talk to your dads. I wanted to get your permission before I went in...knew you would be back around now." Her hands are buried in the white hoodie she's wearing and it's strange because you've never seen her so dressed down before. She's wearing simple jeans and black chucks and when she looks back up at you after a few seconds you can see she's wearing no makeup and yet she's still so beautiful that you catch yourself staring.

"Yea, I understand, come on in, they're probably making dinner, so you'll stay." She kind of stands there awkwardly in your foyer after you open the door and walk in behind her, so you take off your coat and lay your bag down right by your shoes once you remove those too. The latina looks down at you and then takes off her chucks, following you into the kitchen, nervousness written across her features. You say hi and motion for her to sit at the island while you grab two waters from the fridge and peek into your daddy Leroy's pot.

"Hey, baby girl, how was school?" Is the first thing out of his mouth and you're not sure you want to answer that question so you sit down next to Santana and slide over her water.

"...Horrible, but daddy we have a guest, this is Santana." You stare into her eyes with you next words. "A good friend of mine, she wanted to talk to you and dad about something."

It's now that your dad Hiram walks into the kitchen and kisses you daddy before pouring himself lemonade and taking the seat across from both of you. Santana's hood is down and he looks at her for a second before nodding.

"I remember you Santana, you sang Valerie last year and it was beautiful. I was joking about it with Leroy about how Rachel had some real competition in the club." It makes her smile, and you too and when she stops you look at her, trying to ask with your eyes if she wants you to tell them or if she will. Her brows furrow and chocolate eyes look away. She hasn't really said a word and you hope she's able to open up enough to talk to them.

"Daddy, please come sit down, that won't be ready for a good while. It's important. i know you remember when I told you last year that she's in love with Brittany and that she used to bully me, and why, and..." You pause for a second to look over at her again because your hand is on your left thigh and she's reached over and held it hers, the words I'm sorry are on her lips and you shake your head and squeeze her hand, because it's ok.

"She and Finn have been getting into it lately, and we all, all of us in the club, we know that she's gay but we never say anything but, when she and Finn got into another argument today...He...he outed her, loudly, in a crowded hallway. I'd heard something about this and I told Finn he better tell me what happened, because I was angry. We went to see the Trouble Tones performance and she was... amazing. But afterward, she thought Finn and I were gossiping about her and she slapped him." Your dads shake their heads during all this because they know. You get ready to speak again but then you hear that voice and look over.

"He was so loud in the hallway and this cheerio looked back at us...and she told her dad, and he made that add and now the whole state knows I'm gay and I haven't even told my parents yet and I know...I already know it's not going to go down well...but I came here because I figured you'd both gone through being out and I wanted to know what to expect from the town." You squeeze her warm hand again before you look over at her. You catch her eyes and there's a few tears just now falling that you wipe away with the pad of your thumb.

"I broke up with him when I found out exactly what he did. I couldn't believe...He knows how sensitive I am about stuff like this. I kept seeing it in my head, him being so malicious about it. Maybe I don't kow him at all..." Is the last thing you say, because this isn't about you and you're curious about what to expect from the town too. You'll be there for Santana like you should've always been.

"Santana, we're not going to go over the things that have happened to us, that may happen. What we will do is talk about what you need to worry about. Some people who are too narrow-minded to understand that this is just love could even try to hurt you. So we're going to get you a whistle, and pepper spray, and maybe even a tazer which you'll have to promise to use only in appropriate circumstances, okay? I know you're worried about what to say to your family, Santana, all of us were too, it's not-" You shake your head at your dad when she starts to speak, because this isn't the time and this isn't about you but he's sharing anyway.

"Wait, what do you mean all of you?" You frown at your dad and shake your head before turn it over in her direction, shrugging. You would have told her later on.

"Rachels-"

"No, Daddy, I'll tell her. I'm bisexual and I was afraid of telling them. I was so afraid, like I had failed them..." You hear your father say 'Nooo, baby.' and then Santana is drawing your attention again.

"But both of you are gay, what's would have been a problem about that? I wish I was lucky enough to have two gay parents, this would be so much easier." She runs a hand through silk like hair and you watch.

"No. It's just that people say that gay couples can only possible have gay kids, and dad and daddy always said that that was untrue, so when I realized, I was ashamed. But they understand, you know. It's not a choice and no matter how hard I tried not to be attracted to girls, it never worked." It still doesn't work, because you know the woman next to you is not only in a relationship with another, but could never find you attractive. Her eyes, her lips, the way she's still holding your hand, and her smile as your dads talk to her about how happy they are is drawing you in and you wish there was something for you to hold onto so you could seperate yourself from the attraction. There's nothing, so you squeeze her hand once before you get up to head upstairs and shower before dinner. You're pretty sure you smell like sweat and you're wearing nothing but a leotard.

...

The Berry's are amazing people, that's what you've learned since you've been here. You're helping set the table for four right now and once your done you walk around the living room looking at all the pictures of Rachel and her fathers. You stop in front of one, Rachel in a dress, mid laugh with her feet off the edge of a dock and theirs a bit of water splashed up and caught in the frame. It's in black and white and it's beautiful and so is she. It must have been taken pretty recently, because she looks about the same and the joy in her eyes is something you only ever see when she's singing. You've never seen her this happy out side of that. But with everyone always putting her down, that must be the only time she feels free. You want to meet this girl.

Finally turning away from that photo, you look around the room again. Her trophies are in a case and the furniture looks warm and cozy and the house feels that way. You can hear her upstairs singing in her room and her fathers laughing in the kitchen and it's like no where else you've ever been, because this is a real family and you don't know anyone who has that. The strangest thing that's happened today is the Berry dad's offering you a place to stay if you need it. No one's ever really wanted you in their house, not even your 'family'.

You turn around when Rachel comes down, and she's in jeans, a demi lovato shirt that says stay strong across the chest, and a black zip hoodie and you're not sure you've ever seen her dressed like this. It's cool, but you miss those dresses for a second.

"Dinner ready?" She smiles and you do too, shaking your head.

"Leroy said fifteen minutes. Mind showing me around the house? I've only been here that once." You turn around one more time to look at another picture. Rachel's probably a two or three with that same huge smile on her face and it makes you see that she's had love her whole life and that's why she never broke. She could always come home to this.

"Yes, of course. I was thirty months when that photo was taken, dad says I still have the same smile. Do you think so?" Her smile makes you grin and you nod your head yes.

"It's exactly the same, only little you is just a tad bit more adorable." You follow her up the stairs and she shows you the two guest rooms and then you walk into hers and it's painted a little bit darker than her skin, with black and gold assents everywhere. You swear that Kurt told you it was yellow, but you like this. She stops to grab the remote and you stop right before you bump into her back, her scent filling your nose.

There's this spicy ginger and sweet apple and something underneath that you immediately love. When she turns on the tv you sit on the huge ottomon at the foot of her bed and she sits next to you and then you look up and adventure time is on.

"Yes, I love this show !" Is what you say and you look over at her and she's watching the tv already, Marceline and Princess bubblegum are both on screen and she's watching super closely.

"I keep thinking there's something going on between the two of them. Like a secret relationship."

"Bubbline, huh?" You look over and she's looking at you like you're crazy.

"What is 'Bubbline?" she scoots closer, looks like you just caught the tail end of the show, Regular is coming on, which is awesome.

"You know, Marceline, Princess Bubblegum, Bubbline. People who ship those two together made it up." The show starts and your kind of confused about the fact that she doesn't know what Bubbline is.

"Ok, I get that, and shipping that means they that support that relationship, right?"

"Exactly. I can't believe you haven't heard of any of this stuff."

"Well were did you learn it?" She's sitting on her legs facing you now so you do the same, occaisionly glancing over at your show.

"Tumblr. Don't you have that too?" You ask, you're prepared to delay dinner and set her up with an account right now if she doesn't.

"Yea, I have that. I've never see this bubbline on my dash, though." She's pouting and it's adorable, so you look away towards muscle man and hi five. When you look back she's retrieving a laptop from her bed and opening tumblr before handing it to you. You laugh a little, because this is kind of what you expected.

"Rach, you aren't following the right people or tracking the right tags. This is all dance, music, broadway, movies, style. Here, i'll do it." She watches as you type bubbline in the tags and then track that, following a couple people you find. When you're done, you hand her back the laptop and pull out your phone so you can follow her, the style, movie, and dance stuff on her dash was pretty awesome, and though you didn't mention it, you ship bubbline too. Marceline reminds you of yourself. Because she's supposed to be a vampire but she only drinks the color red. She's supposed to be evil and this badass motherfucker, but she's just mischievous and kind of lonely. You look up because the tv is off and you hear words coming from Rachel's laptop, that's when you realize what it is. The song starts and she drops the pc, pulling you up.

"We found love in a hopeless place!"

You dance around with her, no care in the world for a few minutes, a smile on your face, and a huge one on hers, and you're happy, because you finally got to see that mega huge smile that she hid from you. Maybe you're not so bad a person if she trusts you enough to do that with you so close. When the song fades out, and you both calm down, you hear Hiram calling up the stairs for dinner. You follow her into the bathroom to wash your hands and then down the stairs to the kitchen. It all smells like home and deliciousness and you see quite a bit of food. Your eyes open pretty big because you don't know where to start. Leroy puts his arm around you and you lean into him a bit.

"Alright, San, this is vegan pesto lasagna, it's really delicious and it's one of Rachel's favorite things. This is spaghetti carbonara, it has bacon and shrimp. I don't know if you like bacon, Rachel said that that's more Quinn's thing, but she said you love italian so we did that. Also, you might recognize these here breadsticks." His eyebrows are wiggling around when he tells you about the breadsticks and you laugh at him but you want to cry because no one's ever cared enough to do even this. Rachel comes over and takes your plate away, making it for you, and theirs plenty of food and you get the feeling that she clearly remembers the way you reacted to Mercedes saying you don't eat. She looks at you sternly and you understand clearly that you'll be eating as much of that as you can stomach.

You all sit down at the island and start to eat and you close your eyes for a second to pray that one day you'll have a family like this before you dig into your food. You hear a moan and you see Rachel giggling at you and that's when you realize that it was yours.

"It's so, so good, Leroy. Thank you."

Rachel almost has to drag you down the stairs after the two of you took care of the dishes. You ate way too much but she's been smiling at you since then and you figure she's proud of you or something because of that problem you have but you're a little afraid you won't be a cheerio for much longer, so you guess it won't be a problem for much longer either.

Hiram and Leroy are already cuddled up on the couch and they suggest you pick a movie, so you look at the stacks and when you see Ponyo, you grab that and place it in the blu ray player, sitting down on the couch right next to Rachel. She's got a purple throw blanket covering her and when you get comfortable, she lays part of it on your legs. She has the remote and hits play, giggling again at your choice. You're starting to love the sound because it's light and musical, beautiful. The two of you focus on the movie and it's beautiful too, bright colors and young love and magic.

When it's about twenty minutes from ending you find yourself rubbing circles into your right palm because Rachel said earlier before dinner that she'd take you home when it was done but that place is the last you want to be. You keep your thumb going in circles, but it never feels the same as when Britts does it. It doesn't calm you down at all. Just makes you more aware of the fact that you're in danger of letting a few tears fall. When you feel small, delicate hands take yours and start rubbing those circles, You know it's Rachel, but it feels just as good as if Brittany was doing it and you're not sure if that's a good or bad thing. Your panic slowly dissapates and she leans even closer to you, whispering in your ear that everything is okay.

"I know you're afraid of going home. You're gonna stay here tonight, alright? Don't worry. Everything is ok here. I'm right here." The movie is over and the two Berry dad's have already wen't up to their room, so Rachel turns off the system and pulls you up to hers. She sits you on her bed and you take out your phone and take a quick picture with a real smile on your face, heading to facebook.

' I got outed to the whole state of Ohio today, and I know that maybe I should be crying or thinking about moving or something, because my life will never be the same again. So If you're wondering why this smile is on my face, let me enlighten you. I'm smiling because i'm ok. There are people out there who care about me even now, and that's enough to make me smile. So you can say what you want, but I have love in my life and maybe that's all I need.'

When you hit ok and the message posts you nod, because what you've said is the truth and Although you already see the hate all over your wall, it doesn't faze you right now because you're not alone. You put the phone down and look up at Rachel who's grinning at you.

"What do you feel like sleeping in? Sweats, pajama pants, shorts?" She turns around to open a drawer that obviously holds her underwear and sleepwear.

"Shorts and a tank would be great." She nods and produces a tank top that says PINK across the chest and shorts that say 'bite me' across the ass and you raise a brow.

"Yea, Mercedes. I miss her, how is she?"

"She's great, and she missed you too. I think after everthing you two've been through, she's just afraid that even if she works as hard as you do, that you'll still be better singer." Rachel shuts her eyes tight and frowns.

"I'm not better than her. I don't know how to fix it..anyway, come on." You follow her into her bathroom and she opens a drawer, pulling out a purple toothbrush that's still in it's plastic packaging. She walks towards her shower and stops, opening a closet full of towels, handing you a set. She smiles at you then walks out of the bathroom and shuts the door behind her.

When you hop out of the shower you know you smell like her and as you brush your teeth and towel dry your hair you let yourself wonder how it would feel to live in this place where there's warmth and love everywhere you look. You put all the stuff you've used where it goes and then open the door and walk out, stretching your arms high and yawning. It's been an incredibly long day and not even Rachel can make you forget that. She's on the phone right now and she smiles at you as you listen.

"Yea, she just walked out of the bathroom. No, she ate, I kind of put tons of food on her plate and she ate it all. No problem, I was worried about that too. Yea, I'll do that, night Britt." She gets up and walks up to you, the phone left on her bed, and you pretend that you're a little angry about her caring about your eating habits but it makes you feel better that she cares when she doesn't have to. She stops no further than a foot away from you and you nod at her question. "How was your shower? Feel a little more relaxed? So, Britts asked me to do three things. Give you a hug for her, tell you she loves you, and not let you sleep alone. How many of those would you prefer I didn't do?"

"Um..." You look at her, really look her in the eyes, but you can see the smile that doesn't really reach those coffee eyes and you think that maybe she still believes you hate her. You're not sure you ever really did.

"I'm good with all of that, actually. I really like you, so you don't have to look at me like you're expecting an insult, alright?" She kind of grimaces before stepping back and throwing you a weak smile.

"I know, ok. I just got Kurt back so I'm still a little short on friends and I didn't want to alienate you, because I really like you too." You shake your head at her, and hug her to you for a few moments. She still smell's like apples and ginger and you guess that's what you smell like too. You can hear her whisper that you smell like her and you guess that maybe that's a new experience for her.

"So we're friends huh?" Is what you say once she comes back from brushing her teeth and washing her face and you're both sitting on the bed next to eachother.

"Yep. I officially decided when you picked Ponyo for the movie. You look exausted, ready for bed?" She has that huge smile on as she mentions the movie and she's beautiful and you roll your eyes and grin at her, breathing out 'god, yes' when she asks if you're ready for bed. It's large enough for both of you and you can tell she's the type of girl who sleeps in the middle so you take the left side and lay down, still pretty close to her. The lights go out and you breath deep because the pillow your head is on smells just like her and it's fairly intoxicating. She turns towards you and as your eyes close, clear, bright, coffee is the last thing you see, but you feel her grab your hand and gently push her fingers in between your own. She singing softly and it's different than any way you've heard her voice before and you let it try and lull you into sleep, but you only catch the first few lines of lyrics.

"I watched you sleeping, quietly in my bed. You don't know this now, but there's some things that need to said. And it's all that I can hear, it's more than I can bear." Her lips brush against your knuckles and you fade into the most peaceful sleep you've ever had without a tall blonde beside you.