A Code Geass fanfic. I own nothing.
Sequel to To Die With a Smile. Inspired by Contiued Story.
Contains spoilers for R2 ending.
This Moment is Mine.
He watched Zero ducking the bullets from the Knightmares in his guard. Lelouch raised himself from the throne, face twisted in surprise and anger.
That's what the world saw, anyway. They saw what they were supposed to see. A demon being slayed by a knight.
He suppressed a sudden urge to laugh. It would seem rather weird, if he suddenly started laughing at his own doom. Only, it seemed so surreal to him, seeing a persona whom he'd always thought of as himself, running towards him like that.
Like he was about to kill himself.
Well, in a way he did.
He couldn't laugh though. He had to maintain the expression of a man in shock, in denial. Laughter would ruining that image. He needed people to hate him.
The Black Knights would figure it out. Or they would be told. The truth. The truth of everything. The real truth. Not the twisted truth from Scheizel. The sad, beautiful truth.
So he wouldn't fail now. He'd walked for so long wearing a mask. He could do it for a few minutes more.
Only for a few more moments. And then he could let go, let go of the mask wearing him down.
In fact, he mused as he watched Zero fight of Jeremiah, it was a bit ironic watching this athletic Zero. He himself was anything but athletic. In fact it was almost scary just how bad shape he was in, physically. But this Zero, this new Zero. He could fight. He could defend himself and the ones he loved. In a few months the Geass he had placed upon Suzaku would disappear and Suzaku would be able to die. If he still wished for it.
He had no idea what Suzaku would do when the Geass command to live vanished from his mind. Would he continue on living? Or would he die? By his own hand, or someone else?
The seconds seemed so long. Lelouch wondered about the months, after Suzaku had 'died' and gone into hiding. About the plan. About everything.
It didn't take Zero more than a couple of seconds to reach him. And still. Time seemed so long now. Too long.
He wanted it to end now.
He felt a sudden urge to abandon the plan. He was prepared to die for this, for his plan, for the world. For the greater good. He was ready to see it through to the end.
But he also wanted to live. To watch Nunnaly grow up. She was still just a young girl, and he knew she would become a beautiful young lady very soon. If only he could at least be with her.
Only he couldn't. He wouldn't. This was his redemption.
It was fitting, the punishment of death. If they only knew he wanted to live. He was pretty sure C2 was the only one who knew about this dark wish, this dark hope inside of him.
But. If he abandoned the plan, if he had decided to live on as emperor, who would he betray the most? Suzaku? Or the entire world? Himself? Everything, every event, each encounter he had had with people from the entire world, had led to this. And that had been the plan. For a long time now.
It had seemed easier to plan this when it was still months away. Now, with only seconds left, it seemed so hard.
Smack. The gun left his hand. That wasn't an act. And he thanked the gods that Suzaku would never know.
Because in that brief moment, when Zero landed in front of him, he had drawn his gun to fire, not to keep up the act.
But he was no match for Suzaku, thankfully. The gun flew away.
Suzaku was his knight, even now. He were to rid him of his own weaknesses. Suzaku had said that himself.
Right now, the biggest weakness was himself.
And the ever loyal Suzaku, the masked hero Zero, freed him of his last weakness.
Then the oddest feeling he could ever remember feeling rushed through his body.
He felt the air being forced out of his lungs when Zero ran his sword through him. He gasped, and took a small step backwards.
How strange, he wondered, it didn't hurt. He couldn't feel anything.
He sank against Zero, looking over his shoulder. He saw his former Knights. He saw Nunnaly. Their eyes were wide, staring at him. And then he couldn't see them.
He spoke softly to Zero, to Suzaku, to his friend. His only friend.
He hated himself for casting this last curse on Suzaku. A curse more powerful than Geass.
It was a request. A request for Suzaku to live out his days as Zero, as a human without any pleasures. That would be Suzaku's punishment for his crimes. To live as a dead man.
Geass could be broken. And it faded away. The girl he had forced to scratch crosses in the school building had stopped some time ago by herself.
Lelouch knew Suzaku. And his knight and friend would never forget or ignore this last request.
He envied Suzaku. Suzaku would live with the hate, feeling the worlds hate against Suzaku Kururugi and never being able to say anything against it.
He himself would have chosen that fate over this, over dying. He could live with the blame, the guilt, the hate.
He, Lelouch, would die. Like Suzaku wanted to die.
Suzaku was crying. He couldn't see it, but he heard it. In his voice. The sword was janked from his chest. And he felt the pain.
It was terrible. It hurt so much that he couldn't even scream. He could feel the blood running from the deathly wound. He suddenly felt tired. Very tired. He took a small step forward, desperately wanted to see Nunnaly for one last time.
He lost his balance, and slid down the podium, leaving a bloody trail behind him.
He couldn't breath. He couldn't even move his head anymore. He could feel his life leaving him, pooling below him from his destroyed body. And he saw her.
His dear little sister. She took his hand. A small moment, and then she stopped moving, frozen in shock. He heard her small gasp.
His mind jumped with happiness, but his body didn't move a muscle. She knew! And she would know the rest soon.
He never really got to know just how it was that Nunnaly could tell if a person lied or not merely by touching their hand. But she could, and never before had he praised that gift as much as he did now.
"Oh big brother, I love you." his sister wept for him. A nice change from being called a demon.
He couldn't even begin to describe how happy it made him to hear those words one last time.
And if he hadn't done this, he never would have heard them again. Nunnaly would never had said those precious words to him. He needed to die. He suddenly felt very content with this, with dying. It didn't scare him anymore. He felt warm and loved.
The Black Knights knew it too. He was closer now, and he could see their faces.
To be honest, he didn't care for them. They were betrayers. Maybe he could have lived on if they hadn't betrayed him when they did. Maybe Rolo wouldn't have died.
But all those reasons were not the reason that he didn't care about their opinion. He didn't care, because he really couldn't be bothered. They weren't that important.
His lips jerked upwards in a small smile.
Apparently I'm determined to lie even at the very end. He smiled at the irony.
His vision became dark. The faces disappeared.
"I.. destroyed.. the world. And created.. a.. new."
His eyes sank shut, he no longer possessed the strength to keep them open. He stopped breathing. For the longest seconds he had ever known he felt his soul finding peace.
He was done.
If he, the one who wanted to live, could find peace in death, then perhaps Suzaku, the one who wanted to die, would be able to find peace in life.
He could no longer hear, feel or see. All he saw was a blinding light. He felt at peace.
This was his moment.
I hope you liked the story.
I find it very hard to write about Lelouch. He is such a complicated character.
Just like with Suzaku and Rolo, I find his story to be very depressing. But also very beautiful and inspiring.
I watched his battle against sir Bradly earlier today, and it fascinates me how sir Bradly is confused by Zero's reaction to dying. Zero, Lelouch, isn't afraid of dying. He is afraid of not being beside Nunnaly. That's inspiring.