Before I knew it, that day had come. I did everything that morning the same as I did all the other mornings prior to this fateful day. Every now and then I would look at my baby son and think of him, but I for the most part I was successful in pushing him out of my mind. It was a skill I had acquired in the past handful of months that he had been in Space training or doing Kami knows what. There was a bundle of nerves and anxieties nestled deep within my chest, but it wasn't just for him. It was for everyone... My friends, my family, and Earth itself.
I was a good denier of the truth, and the truth was I could honestly lose somebody today.
Seeing my friends again was amazing, though. For a second, I forgot all about the impending threat of the Androids, and I think they did too as they inquired about the new infant in my arms and whose it was. Poor Gohan, still so young, looked thoroughly confused about the whole ordeal while Yamcha huffed and puffed his typical dismay about it. It was insane how much he had grown since I last saw him, it almost made me feel a little old.
When Yamcha was the one attacked I couldn't help but feel an old string inside of me get plucked harshly by the cold fact that he just wasn't strong enough to beat what had gotten to him. It solidified the fact that I cared about him at least, because he was truly was my friend and was the one who cared for me and Trunks through it all when someone else wouldn't.
Unfortunately, that wasn't the only attack that occurred that day. Right in front of Vegeta, my ship was blasted by that horrible . And he did nothing! I was mortified but also irate at the fact that he just watched us plummet to what could have been our very deaths if it weren't for the-get this-future version of my very son. It was then that I knew: I, nor Trunks, would be able to overcome his ignorant pride.
But I think he realized this and actually fought to avenge the future version of our son when he was attacked by Cell. When the Future Trunks explained this to me with a glistening admiration in his eyes, I was bewildered. Why him and not us, then? I wanted answers, or at least closure. Now that it was all over, it was time to decide exactly who Vegeta was going to be in our lives and where...
My stomach curled with butterflies at the entire situation. After losing Goku, the air was thick with a saddened tension. ChiChi was beside herself and Gohan was without a father. I didn't want the same for my family, not at all.
"You know," Yamcha began as Krillin, Future Trunks, Gohan, and I were huddled around on my porch the morning before Trunks had to leave, "This really gives me a new appreciation for life. I want something special. I want a family... I don't know this just really broadens my spectrum of things."
"Wow those are some big words for ya, Yamcha!" Krillin jokingly exclaimed as Yamcha glared at him for a second.
"No, I'm serious... I just saw my whole life flash before my eyes when that crazy android shoved his arm through my torso and.. I have to say, it really makes me think, you know?"
We all nodded, instantly thinking of Goku and where he was now. I put my hand on Gohan's shoulder as his expression darkened with shadowed grief. He stood up and walked away. Then I heard a strangled cry on the baby monitor and looked over at Future Trunks' startled expression and laughed.
"You won't have to get used to it for too long. You're going home today! We sure will miss you. I'll be right back." I got up and left to the nursery, passing Vegeta's room on the way. I stopped in my tracks as I caught a glimpse of him standing by his window, watching somebody or something.
"Hey..." I said softly, walking towards him. He cast me a dark glance that I couldn't decipher, so I decided to break the ice with something that might shock him out of his shell. "Trunks told me what you did for him on the battlefield. That was very courageous of you-"
"I don't need your opinion, woman. I didn't do it for anyone. I was simply doing what I do best, which is failing."
I looked down, feeling moved by his self-deprecation. "Vegeta-..."
"Don't start. I'm not in the mood."
I shut my dry lips and walked over to the window where he was leaning against the wall next to it. Looking down I saw Gohan sitting on a rock by a tree, his shoulders shaking rapidly, obviously for the loss of his own father. My eyes misted over watching this and then looked up to meet Vegeta's as they stared into me.
Then he looked away, knowing exactly what I was thinking. I could see it in his obsidian gaze.
"Trunks needs a father, Vegeta. He needs someone who won't leave for Space every time it gets hard-"
"Heh. Was that a pseudonym?"
I rolled my eyes, "You know what I'm talking about. ChiChi has nobody, Gohan has nobody... I'm not asking for us to be a family and I'm not asking at all. I'm telling you that you either stay and be a father or.. You go."
My heart was beating like a broken drum at the ultimatum I was giving. But I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't have him be halfway through the door and halfway in my house. I needed him to be here, mentally and physically. Not halfway in the middle. His expression remained stoic as he watched Gohan through the window. "Let me think about it."
I threw my arms up in the air, feeling a surge of rage course through me suddenly as adrenaline energized my body to filter it. "No, there is no thinking about it, Vegeta! You don't think at all! You sit there while baby Trunks and I fall through the air in a blasted ship, and you escape to Space whenever you feel like we're in your way! You think about yourself, Vegeta and that's IT. Have you ever once thought what others might want or need?"
"That's a ridiculous question. And besides, I doubt you were considering your son's safety getting in that damn aircraft in the midst of an all-out battle in the first place. I'm not an idiot Bulma, I know your passion for adventure and you sure as hell were thinking of THAT inside of OUR son."
"Fine. I made a mistake. But you can't tell me that you don't regret just standing there watching us almost DIE."
"I CAN." He screamed, now inches away from me. "And do you know WHY? Because it is not my job to be your damn bodyguard just because we went for it a couple times within a three-year period. And that child... is not in my care. So you are ultimately responsible."
"You can't, for one second, tell me you're the father of that child? Are you ever going to be responsible?"
"No, I guess not," He smirked, pushing past me. I swallowed hard, my eyes clenching together as tears brushed through them onto my hands turned to fists with anger and frustration. I had to accept it, but I refused to. Vegeta would never want to be a father to our child and he would never admit any kind of feeling for me nor for Trunks.
I heard a whimper and spun around to see Future Trunks holding the baby version of himself. At such an ironic vision, I let out a teary giggle, reaching for the baby. Future Trunks looked around the room, knowing full well that we'd had a fight in here. "Come on, let's get changed, baby. There's nothing of interest in here anyway."
I went outside just to fetch some of the condiments that were provided for the Future Trunks' return trip to the future. Seeing those idiot friends of hers begin to return, I retreated to a nearby tree so I could eradicate their annoying chatter and try to clear my mind from the eventful two weeks behind me. As far as my own son from the future leaving, I couldn't decide if I was either relieved or simply impassive. He had been quite the nuisance in the Room of Time, always pestering me with questions and inquiries about my past just like his damned mother. That same inquisitive spark in his cerulean eyes kept bringing the memory of her and her alluring scent back to me.
Not to mention the tantalizing deprivation that came with my heightening focus on the Androids, training, and then Cell. My jaws clenched with irrefutable self-hatred on the very subject. It was a wonder how that half-Saiyan whelp managed to not only overcome Cell but surpass me and the clown Kakarrot as well. Now, he must not only deal with a victory that would ultimately raise my own expectations of myself, but the loss of his own father.
When I was younger, it didn't phase me. Not even once did I feel... anything towards my father's death. Right after, I became a soldier and henchman to the tyrant Frieza and was taught that death was merely a part of the game, a result of war, and a tool. We oftentimes threatened the deaths of family members to obtain whatever we so desired, and then kill them afterwards anyways. Even now when I think of my father, he is nothing but a frivolous fool to me who didn't see an enemy disguised as a comrad.
Which is why my trust was basically nonexistent. To reveal myself to anybody, especially that intoxicating wench, would be a travesty of mere stupidity. Being open only meant vulnerability, which only resulted in the inevitable loss of something. Pride. Family. Life...
That moronic clown... How could he just-
"What?" I barked, not wanting to be disturbed.
"I asked if you give up. On Mom and... me." He responded, his voice calm and casual somehow. Usually, he was either nervous or emotional in his spontaneous approaches to me, especially on the matter of his mother.
"Hm." Was all I said instead of going on a rant about being the Prince of Saiyans and how I would never surrender to anybody, least of all some common, human female. I guess I was tired. I guess a part of me did somewhat retreat back inside of me, wanting nothing more than rest and peace.
It was that part of me that wished I had died instead of Kakarrot, that way the entire journey through my power wouldn't have been in vain.
"You know, you can't run forever. I know you have a conscience, Dad. Please just... If not for her, then for me. Stay. Be there for me."
"There is nothing to be here for. This planet has done nothing but run me in circles and get me into more trouble than it's worth."
"So is that what I am? Is that what she is? Trouble?"
"Do not put words in my mouth-"
"You know, Gohan and ChiChi are without Goku now. I know you know that. And I also know you hate feeling needed. Well, guess what? We don't need you. My Mom may have a part of her that cries for you and the small amount of memories you two have together, but that's about it. She had no choice but to simply live and survive in a world much shittier than this one. Without you. She built that time machine, she got me HERE to rescue Bulma and that baby without you. My mom can live without you, Vegeta, don't even question that. But I don't think you can live without her."
I instantly spun around to meet his face with my vicious glare, "As if, boy! I've lived through a hell that woman will never learn of or could even imagine as she resides in a Kami-damn paradise. And of course she can take care of herself and her child without me, she has already this far correct? As for me, I need NOBODY. Understand?"
I watched as my son's eyes fell to the ground in some sort of defeated dismay. "Then I have failed you, father. I came here right now, before I leave forever, to show you what you have. In my world... You're gone. You don't exist. You aren't there to even know who I am. And here... You're alive. You have someone who cares about you so deeply that she's shown on more than one occasion despite her own pride and stubborn nature. But... You don't need anybody. Well, I'm sorry, because that's a really pathetic existence to have. You're going to be pretty lonely, Vegeta. I'm sorry."
With that, he turned away. The conflict inside of me, incinerated my senses and racing my mind rose up in my throat and I punched into the tree with all of my might. That damned woman and her child, how the hell did they end up being all that I had left?
'It's all your fault, Kakarott! If you hadn't remained deceased like a stubborn fool... You did this on purpose. Didn't you? Just to spite me so that I had no other agenda on this planet other than... Other than what? Training more for your return? The next enemy? Just more training and sleeping and reliving the same nightmare as before?' Vegeta's inner monologue was interrupted by Trunks' chastising voice, "You're going to be pretty lonely, Vegeta."
No. I didn't want that. I didn't know what I wanted. But I sure as hell knew what drove me crazy was what also enticed me. The woman, her verbal sparring with me, her distracting appearance, her admirable feist, her lithe curves, and those cerulean eyes that seemed to melt into his with an array of emotions.. Of want, of lust, of frustration, and, most of all, forgiveness.
She had been the only one he tolerated in his space just as she had been the only one to continue to put him on some sort of pedestal despite his actions against her. She had been the only one to bear him a child, a boy no less to continue his bloodline, even if it was a little off due to her human DNA. She cared for the child, never complaining, and allowed him up to this point revert back and forth between her home and Space.
Finally, I saw it. I saw that Earth was where my final destination, at least for a while. For my son. Not necessarily for her... Even as irreplaceable as she was, I still refused to make any kind of emotional commitment to her. I didn't trust anyone. Not yet.
First, she had to prove it to me.
My eyes opened from their closed state. I was leaning against a tree, my arms folded as I heard voices all around me. My son from the future was just about to launch back into the lightyears of time. My stomach twisted in knots with ambivalent emotions. All at once, I felt a tinge of sadness and a confusing wave of relief. I looked up and there he was, standing there in his innocent glory. His eyes read like stories to me, telling me to give in to my foolish emotions for the woman and her child. For this planet. Feh...
I gave him a hard nod and he looked away, knowing when to stop pushing me. At least he learned something during all of this time in this present. He hugged each person, and finally his mother as she held the infant. I noticed her eyes mist with a crystalline sheen of tears, making me scoff and roll my eyes at the sentiment. The boy had been cottled enough here as it was. Nonetheless, he turned to me, one final time, and I gave him the two-finger salute that he truly deserved.
He boarded his ship, leaving me with the nostalgic, insightful gaze that would be sure to haunt me later that night. He was actually gone. Part of me wouldn't, almost refused, to believe it. I caught the woman's gaze at me that almost seemed identical to the one that her son held. It seemed to be full of pride, as if she were filled with joy at me signalling a goodbye to Trunks. I looked away with exasperation, feeling overwhelmed with the dilemma this woman was putting me through.
Finally, her clown friends departed and evening fell. I found myself on her balcony again-a place I frequented only because the alignment of the stars was most visible there-staring up at the sky with my back against the wall. Thoughts floated through my tortured mind, about her, about Kakarrot, and about my uncertain future. Where was my place on this ridiculous planet? Where was I to go now? Who was I to rival against without that imbecile who decided death over his own family for Kami's sake?
"Hey..." Came her belltone voice. And it happened all over again. I looked at her, she looked at me, and I felt the electric tension form itself between us like instant heat.
"What do you want?" Redundant question. I knew what she wanted.
She blinked and looked away, "You know..."
"Well when will my desires be considered?"
"What do you want, Vegeta?" She asked, her voice waning as if she was suddenly fatigued. "I thought we discussed how much you focus on doing exactly what YOU want to do..."
"I want answers. I want the truth."
"Yes. As in, why did that idiot have to die and remain deceased? Why did his spawn have to be the one to reign in power over me? And why am I here, again, and with a..."
"A what? A family? Can you not even say it? Or believe it? Are we just a huge regret for you, because if we are, then you can just go to hell-"
She was cut off by my grabbing of her wrists and placing them above her head after pinning her to the wall. I'd had enough of her angry rambling about regret and shame. She had no idea.
Her eyes pierced mine like turquoise steel. "I'm not afraid of you, Vegeta. Do what you will... At this point, I don't care."
I searched her eyes for dishonesty and found none. Somehow, I was pleased. "You don't, do you? Well we'll see about that..."
I heard her sharp intake of breath as I grazed my canines against her porcelain neck. Instantly, her Ki flickered and her nipples grew erect. I could see her skin begin to form small bumps of sheer pleasure in the pale moonlight. I chuckled sardonically, pulling my head up from the crook of her neck to see her eyes possess a certain glaze that proved to me that I still had a certain power over her. A physical one, at that.
She said my name like it was a question, like my entire existence in front of her was some mystery. Perhaps that is what allured her this entire time, my eloquent enigmaticism. But to me, it just perturbed me even more. I released her and turned around, my back to her.
"I just don't understand!"
"You'll never understand, Bulma! Don't you get it? As smart as you are, as much of a genius as you claim to be- you STILL do not conceive the notion that I do not belong here?"
"Vegeta, it's not about you belonging here. It's about what you want... Why can't you just decide? You come to me, then you leave, then you return, and then you leave again! I don't GET it. And I certainly can't have that kind of turbulence in front of Trunks as he grows up. I can't."
"Oh, so you'll just have that moronic bandit raise him instead? Bullshit."
She grew quiet as time froze. I clenched my hands onto the railing of her balcony, flexing my muscles and swallowing my rising anger audibly.
"You do realize...," I began, breaking the icy silence, "I will train him when he reaches the age of two."
"Two? Absolutely NOT. He'll barely be out of diapers by then, Vegeta!"
"I don't care. I refuse to allow... my son... to be raised by some fucking human."
I could literally feel her expression clear from behind me. Her breathing grew shallow, as if on a breaking point. "Y-Your son?"
"Yes, my son. Not his."
"So... You'll stay? Like, for good?" She asked, her voice full of hope and splendor. I sighed. I felt my inside incinerate with my lack of pride in this situation, but the answer was clear: My son was here on this planet, and so I would be as well.
I turned around, my face lifting in a smirk as hers lit up like those ridiculous decorations they put up in the cold season on Earth. She was illuminated more than I had ever seen her, and for some reason, it illuminated me as well.
"Oh Vegeta!" She squealed, lunging for me and jumping before I could dodge her flailing body. Of course, I caught her with the slightest dismay at her outlandish display. She clenched her arms around me, wrapping her legs around my waist. Taking advantage of the situation, I brought us to the wall and claimed her lips, revelling in her sweet indulgence of my decision.
After all the feelings of failure and loss of pride, I melted into her for what was perhaps the very first time. It was her desire for me and my presence there that finally rekindled my own pride in myself. For the first time, our adultery was not consistent of lust or rage... It was something much sweeter, cleaner somehow.. And something I could not nor would ever be able to describe.
Instead of allowing the untimely death of Kakarrot, the departure of my son, and Gohan's unpredictable victory consume me, I surrounded myself with Bulma. The elongating locks of aquamarine that matched her azure orbs as they searched mine, her languid curves that shaped with my body in a convenient manner, and her voice that uttered the softest of moans, as if it were made of velvet. What shocked me with disbelief was the mere fact that it had taken the last three and a half years for me to see these characteristics of the woman I could finally call my mate as well as the mother of my son.
Finally... I found my salvation in the body of a female. As infuriating and alien as she and her customs were to me, she was also the very source of stimulation that made me realize that I actually had a soul to excite. And that's what it was. Exciting, sensuous, and invigorating.. Everyday was a challenge to meet her outstanding demands and needs, but at the end of the day, I was the only one who could.
And that, in itself, was a victory that Gohan nor Kakarrot could ever take away.
Yep. So I'm done. This has been the best fic I've ever written and it's because I have the best reviewers who give the best feedback ever! Thank you ALL for your loyalty and your time. I hope you all enjoyed it. I mighttttttt do a sequel. I don't know. Haven't really thought about it yet. But I'm sure with enough protests and/or suggestions, I will highly consider it!
Once again, this is for all my reviewers. Thank you all!