Wile E. Coyote and Roadrunner: Desert Love – Chapter 2

Author: Here is the second, and concluding, chapter to the fiction. Forgive me if the writing is a bit off, it was hard to work out the cartoon sequences.

Attention: The characters within this fiction are the copyright property of Warner Bros. Entertainment. My only reason for using these characters is for the entertainment of Fanfiction authors and visitors. No intention of copyright infringement.

Coyote panted heavily as he came to a stop. He looked around to make sure Roadrunner wasn't still following him; she was nowhere in sight. Relieved that he had managed to lose the love-crazy bird, Wiley leaned against a rock to catch his breath.

Even though the body was now female, Roadrunner was still as fast as before; Wiley had ran for almost ten miles before finally escaping her. He glared at the bottle of Sexy Serum and threw it away; it had caused him enough trouble.

Wiley pulled out his cell phone and dialed the number for Acme. He hoped they might have an answer to this mess.

A female computer voice answered. "You have reached the Acme automated customer service system. If you'd like to request information regarding the company, press one. For product information, press two."

Coyote, not the kind who enjoyed answering machines, pressed two.

"You have chosen product information. If you have questions regarding a product, press one. For complaints, press two."


"You have chosen questions regarding a product. To make sure you are not a Korean spy that is stealing our products, without paying, press one for English. For Korean, press two."

Shaking off the Korean spy accusation, Wiley pressed one.

"Please hold."

For fifteen minutes, coyote stood there listening to boring music, until the computer voice came back on.

"Thank you for calling our services. For the answer to your problem, look behind you."

Confused by this answer, Coyote turned around and instantly his jaw dropped. It was Roadrunner, holding a phone next to her head, and puckering her beak for a kiss.

Wiley instantly took off in a flash. He raced across the desert to his den, and covered the door with nailed boards. After hammering in the last nail, Coyote slumped to the floor in exhausted relief. He smiled; glad that he was finally safe and sound in his home, but his smile fell when he looked into his den.

It was Roadrunner, wearing a revealing French-maid outfit and dusting the cave. She saw the coyote and winked seductively at him.

Terrified, Wiley crashed though the sealed door; leaving an impression. He raced down to the road, where he gave a whistle and a taxi drove up and stopped by him. Wiley quickly got in and the taxi streaked away.

Wiley looked back to see if Roadrunner was still following him; he was certain that crazy female would appear any minute. He started to settle down, but then he saw who was driving the cab. Roadrunner, wearing a drivers cap and ready to smooch.

The coyote jumped from the cab and rolled to a halt next to a bus stop. A bus rolled up a minute later and Wiley climbed on. The bus drove to the desert airport, where Wiley boarded a plane and took off. Wiley sighed with relief as the plane reached cruising altitude; he knew the roadrunner couldn't possible reach him way up here.

As the coyote sat back in his chair, ready to enjoy a roadrunner-free vacation, the plane's stewardess came down the aisle to provide beverages. When the cart reached his seat, the stewardess handed him a cup of coffee. Smiling, Wiley turned to thank the stewardess but turned white when he saw her clearly. Guess who.

The plane shook as the coyote screamed in terror. Wiley raced to the plane's emergency exit, with a parachute, and jumped out. As the desert ground got closer and closer, Wiley pulled the cord to his chute and then drifted slowly down. Once his feet reached the ground, Wiley took off the chute and began dusting himself off.

Suddenly, coyote felt a tap on his shoulder, and turned around. It was Roadrunner again. Wiley jumped back…off the nearby cliff, he hung in mid air and then began the long fall into the cavern. Roadrunner looked down as Wiley grew smaller in distance. Not wanting to lose him, Roadrunner took a path that led to the bottom of the cavern. She came to a stop and looked up to see the coyote getting closer to the ground.

Roadrunner looked to the audience with a smile and held up a sign. 'I just knew he would fall for me.' She tossed away the sign and held out her arms to catch her falling lover; while puckering up her beak.

Wiley saw what awaited him below and shrieked. Pushing his feet down, Coyote came to a screeching halt in the air just above Roadrunner. He walked over the air above the crazy bird and landed on the ground behind her.

Before Roadrunner realized what had happened, Wiley raced off in a cloud of dust. Roadrunner saw her dream guy running and, giving a short 'meep-meep', raced after him.

For several hours, Roadrunner chased coyote back and forth, up and down, left and right across the desert landscape; until Wiley reached a dead end. He looked around desperately for any means of escape, but there was nothing but rock that surrounded him. He was trapped.

Wiley gulped as the shadow of the shapely roadrunner stretched up the road to where he stood. Roadrunner swayed her hips as she moved in closer to the shaky coyote. Wiley backed against the wall and braced himself for the worst that was about to happen.

Soon Roadrunner was only an inch away from his face. She leaned in close and kissed him…on the nose. After a few minutes, Wiley slowly opened his eyes nervously. He felt his nose for any damage or pain, but there was nothing wrong with it.

Roadrunner, batting her eyes, leaned in again and kissed him on the cheek. This time, the effect was more powerful as Wiley fell to his knees. His heart began to race, spreading a warm heat throughout his body; turning his face bright red. Then, Wiley felt as light as a cloud, letting out a happy sigh. He didn't know what this strange sensation was, but it felt so amazing.

The coyote looked at Roadrunner, who posed and winked at him. In the light of the setting sun, her outline seemed to glow a beautiful silver aura. Wiley no longer saw Roadrunner as a love-crazy bird, no as the prey he had chased before, but as the most beautiful creature he had ever seen. And, for reasons unknown, he was suddenly in love with her.

Wiley jumped to his feet and held out his arms to this lovely woman. Answering this gesture, Roadrunner jumped into his arms and gave him another kiss on the cheek.

Smiling warmly, the coyote carried Roadrunner bridal-style across the desert and back to his cave.

Once they reached the den, Wiley sat down on a flat rock against the wall, while Roadrunner sat cross-legged on his lap.

Coyote and Roadrunner gazed lovingly into each others eyes; gazing into their future. They knew this relationship might cause a stir in the natural order, especially with their families. But they didn't care; they were in love.

Wiley smiled as Roadrunner laid her head on his chest, while he slowly caressed the soft feathers of her body. It was still hard to believe that this beauty use to be the same prey that Wiley had been chasing for almost his entire life.

Wiley tuned to the audience and held up a sign. 'Well, at least this didn't turn out so bad.' (Spins sign around) 'I still got the roadrunner, didn't I?'

Wiley tossed the sign away as Roadrunner gazed at him with a smile. The two lovers, with eyes closed, slowly began to lean in; prepared to give the big 'on the lips' kiss. But then Wiley opened an eye to the audience and frowned.

He reached up and pulled down the end title. That's All Folks.

(As the ending music plays, we hear a loud smooch in the back ground.)