Disclaimer: Given the current state of my muse, I have nothing more interesting to say than the basics – don't own Tin Man or a certain Disney song.

Author's Note: Yeah, I know. My posts are getting increasingly rare and a certain story is taking forever to be updated. I have a nasty feeling that I am in full on writer's block here – usually popping over to a new story or fandom refreshes the muse, but even my usual outs seem blocked. So frustrating, because it's not like muse has shut down or anything – I can hear her sending out nascent chapter starts to deal with my current narrator (who is so going to get his ass kicked one of these days if he doesn't start behaving soon), but even a brain-brain after midnight hasn't been able to get these moving. I've tried all my usual tricks – rereading past chapters, old reviews – and I've even tried some new ones – I am attempting to draw, there are some links on my profile – but so far…

Yeah, so anyway, many moons ago when muse wasn't being so difficult, an innocent little PM conversation with Meghan McAlistair somehow resulted in my rewriting a certain song from Mulan (don't get any ideas nightdrive23) for Tin Man. It amused us both and I tucked it away with no intention of ever posting it, and mostly forgot about it. A couple of weeks ago, however, we got in another conversation and she brought up another song that I'd never heard before. It took an alarmingly short time for her to set me off on rewriting that one, too (muse is starving for attention – I think it's the group projects doing it – for some reason I keep ending up editor). Given that she expressed the opinion that y'all might enjoy these song (seconded by Quality Control and my Currently Unnicknamed Friend, whom I've been so evil to have get hooked on Tin Man and the Gulchverse Muwhahahahahaha!), and since I've been so shamefully remiss in my duties, I thought this might act as both apology and some entertainment until I get the muse back online. Sorry if it is not what you were hoping for when the alert popped up, for those of you who have me on alert. I'm trying.

PS You might have noticed the M rating – that's because this song is raunchy, very much so. Apparently my sense of humour had gutter brain that day (plus I needed things to rhyme) – I didn't change a word in the refrain but given what I did to the rest of the song, it takes on a whole new meaning. Sorry if it offends anyone – but I figure you'll know who the song is about by the second line so perhaps you'll understand my, er, motivation. Eheheheheheh.


...

I'll Make a Man Out of You

Let's get down to business
And caress those buns
Did they send me eunuchs
When I asked for guns?
You're the hottest man
I ever met
But you can bet
Before we're through
Mister, I'll make a meal
out of you

Tranquil as a forest
But a fire within
Once you find my center
you are sure to win
You're a sexy man
so very hot
And you haven't got a clue
Somehow I'll make a meal
out of you

I'm never gonna catch
my breath
Gonna brag to those
who knew me
Where are those blasted handcuffs
when you need 'em?
This guy's got 'em
scared to death
Wish that he could see
right through me
How I really wish that I
could marry him

(Be a man)
We must be swift as
the coursing river
(Be a man)
With all the force
of a great typhoon
(Be a man)
With all the strength
of a raging fire
Mysterious as the
dark side of the moon

Time is racing toward us
till the buns arrive
Heed my every order
make me feel alive
You're unsuited for
the cold shower
So mount up, come on
let's screw
Couldn't I make a meal
out of you?

(Be a man)
We must be swift as
the coursing river
(Be a man)
With all the force
of a great typhoon
(Be a man)
With all the strength
of a raging fire
Mysterious as the
dark side of the moon

(Be a man)
We must be swift as
the Coursing river
(Be a man)
With all the force
of a great typhoon
(Be a man)
With all the strength
of a raging fire
Mysterious as the
dark side of the moon