Author's Note: Hey there :). I, em, have had this idea in my head for a while but I never really got the time to write it but... Here it is, finally finished :D. I hated that Jazz died in the first movie - I mean, come on Michael Bay! Was he just too epic for you? - so I decided on this.
It features an OC, Ally. So, if you don't like OC's this probably won't be your cup of tea. It's midnight here and I'm finally posting it :).
I don't think I did Jazz as well as I would've liked, but oh well. I hope you enjoy it and, please, read and review,but no flames please..
I do not own Transformers.
Never Forget You
It could only happen to her.
Truly, a situation like this could only happen to Ally Wells. She was caught between a rock and a hard place and the only escape route was the one that would hurt her the most. She didn't want to do it - God knows she didn't - but, in order to keep herself happy and free from the guilt that was eating her apart, she had to.
Her uncle Ray's garage was usually where she went for solitude; she could sit there for hours, just thinking about the world and its problem with her - why everything was so wrong in her life. She used to be completely alone - except for her Ray, of course - so no one minded her taking a time out and sitting against the wall in the large space, keeping to herself and her thoughts.
At that moment, the garage was empty, the last of her uncle's customers having left a little over an hour ago. Ally had slid down the wall at her spot as Ray had locked up. Ray never covered up that area of the wall, knowing that if he did, she'd simply move whatever was there until she could slide there. He'd noticed how little she'd spent down there over the past five months and he'd never questioned it but he knew it was something to do with that boy he saw her hanging around with.
As soon as she started going to her spot again, Ray knew immediately that something was wrong. He didn't want to push her about it but he wanted to know what had brought on the sudden change. Despite all of these thoughts nagging at him, he simply passed it off as normal behaviour - as if she'd never stopped doing it.
"Don't stay down here too long, kiddo," he'd said to her. "Food'll be on the table five-thirty sharp."
Ally had watched him disappear up the stairs and into the house above, the door falling shut with a soft click behind him. She'd simply placed her head on her knees and waited.
An hour had passed as she waited, never moving from her spot. She had half an hour until she had to go into the house for supper but she was simply too tired to go. Not a sleepy kind of tired, just a fed up kind of tired. She was fed up of trying; of hoping for things to get better; of wishing.
No, she thought. Wishing is for fools. It never works.
But in the back of her mind, a voice nagged at her. Wishing had worked a few months ago - in November. The day Ray had fixed up that car and told her it was hers. She'd wished for that, in a sense. True enough, it hadn't been the result she'd expected but it had been a result nonetheless. It had taken her months to realise and actually remember what she had wished for and, when she had, she couldn't believe it.
There had to have been a catch, right? For a person like her, everything had a catch. But eventually, when things were going right for once, she'd persuaded herself that it was real; there was nothing to be afraid of. For the first time in a long time, Ally had opened up and relaxed.
But all good things must come to an end and the end was where she had found herself.
A sigh escaped her lips as she stood, hazel eyes darting to the clock on the far side. 5.03 pm. Seven minutes and he'd be arriving to see her, as he usually did through the day. She leaned back on the wall behind her, staring at the ceiling. There were cracks in it and, without even looking, Ally could tell were each of them were, from so many times simply staring up at them.
They were beautiful really, in a crazy kind of way. No artist, photographer or writer in their right mind would sit and simply stare at a ceiling for hours on end, but Ally found them distracting. She always chose one of the twisted and crooked lines to follow, chasing it along the ceiling until she lost sight of it, or accidentally began to follow another.
Taking a picture did not give the sight justice, even with her love of photography. For hours Ally had tried to sit and capture the image, but she never could. It just never worked for her. She could catch everything else on camera; she just had an eye for what would make a good photo. When it came to the cracked ceiling though…
Pushing herself from the wall, Ally headed to the garage door. A sigh escaped her lips as she thought about what was to come; it would hurt them both, that was the inevitable truth, but it was for the best. She pressed the red button and stepped back into spacious room, scanning everything in sight, for it was surely what he would do after they spoke.
Inhaling sharply, she pinched herself. It was no good thinking about what was to come; she had to keep a calm pace. It was like running; if you sprint at the start, you'll be out of breath for the finish. She had to stay slow until he got there, then throw everything she had into convincing him of her point. There was no use in getting wound up over something that was yet to happen, even if it was going to in a matter of minutes.
Brushing her hands on her jeans before running them through her short, sandy coloured hair, Ally pondered the situation at hand. He needed to leave but she didn't want him to. He wouldn't want to leave but she needed him to. Giving an exasperated sigh, her hand flew to her pocket almost subconsciously. She'd taken the photo from the frame on her bedside table; the Ray had taken of her and her car.
Ally treasured it for reasons Ray would never understand.
At exactly 5.10 pm, a car horn sounded, startling Ally. She was ready mentally for the showdown that was about to happy, but emotionally, she was terrified. This was going to be difficult on the both of them but she figured he'd get over it quicker than she would, because she was the one telling him to go.
Ally pressed herself against the wall as a sleek, silver Pontiac Solstice slid into the empty garage. She needed to speak to him; face to face with no interruptions. She hurried to close the garage door again, shielding them from prying eyes, should any come looking. As soon as it thudded shut, the young woman turned to the car as new sounds filled the space.
Different parts began to move with whirring noises and the hood split apart and seemed to fold in on itself. The grinding of gears soon joined the melody, followed by clicking and clanking as different pieces snapped into place. She remembered the first time she'd seen his transformation - how positively frightened and excited she had been.
The sight never failed to amaze.
As the last of the grinding and whirring faded into silence, Ally ran over possible conversation starters in her mind; things that wouldn't alert him to how she was feeling. Blue eyes gazed down at her from behind a visor as the robot smiled.
"Hi Jazz," she greeted softly. If he noticed a change in her, he didn't show it.
Ally allowed herself to smile sincerely - it had always amused her the way Jazz sounded like a modern day rapper. His 'holoform', as he called it, looked like one would as well; he took on the appearance of Chris Brown, only with broader shoulders, more defined, handsome features, and a bulkier body. All in all, he gave the appearance of a man in his early twenties who looked like he worked out a lot when, in fact, he never did.
"Did you enjoy your drive?" She asked, stepping towards him. He chuckled, following her movements behind his visor. The visor was another small detail of him that she thought added to his 'rapper' image; it reminded her of a pair of sunglasses.
"Woulda been better if you were there," he replied. Ally's response to his statement was a simple sigh; she couldn't find it in herself to be blunt with him, no matter how hard she tried.
"I just…" she trailed off. She just what? She just had to think of all the ways she was about to break his spark? (She had to admit, when he told her about his spark, she'd been intrigued and curious about it). Or she just had to think of all the ways she was about to ruin both their lives?
She settled with, "I just had to think."
"You weren't sittin' by that wall again, were ya?" Jazz asked, concern in his voice. Before he had showed her his robot form, he'd spent countless hours watching her sit there doing nothing. It worried him more than he could believe and he had hated how helpless he was.
Ally avoided his gaze and began pacing, her hand dipping in and out of her pocket. The photograph she had taken with her was comforting and supporting but how, she'd never know. It was just herself and Jazz - in his car form, obviously - but she didn't even look that nice in it. Her hair was long at the time, dishevelled and all over the place; her bangs were blown out of her face, showing her flushed cheeks and bright eyes. For once, she was smiling in the photo, despite how much she hated being on that side of the lens. Ally remembered with stunning clarity why she had been so happy.
She'd just returned from a drive with Jazz, about a week after he'd showed her his true form. She'd felt like she really did have a friend now and it had made her impossibly happy. Jazz had told her after the photo was taken that, even if she couldn't see it, he'd smiled for the photo.
Ally loved his company. He was the best friend she'd never had growing up and she loved him. They were close; closer than she was with Ray but he didn't know that. She cared about him, more than words could say but part of her worried: was he happy too?
They'd often spoke about his comrades, the Autobots. Jazz expressed how he missed them and how he wished he could locate them. That had been a month ago, before he'd got his locator working. He'd told her only days ago that he knew exactly where they were, he just didn't want to go. Hence Ally's predicament. The Autobots needed him; he was the First Lieutenant, for Pete's sake!
Pausing in her pacing, Ally peered up at the fifteen foot robot in the garage. He was watching her closely, never saying a word. Ally knew this topic would be a difficult one; the last time she'd mentioned it, they hadn't spoken for days.
"Jazz," she said quietly, cautious. He continued to stare at her. "How do you feel about the Autobots?"
Jazz visibly stiffened and she could tell he already knew where the conversation was going. Nevertheless, he answered, "They are loyal and brave comrades. I am lucky to serve with 'em."
The eighteen year old shook her head and said, "But you're not serving with them."
"Ally," Jazz sighed, giving what seemed to be a groan. "We've talked about this-"
"No we haven't," she interrupted. "You wouldn't talk to me the last time we did."
"Why do you care so much?"
Why did she care so much? She knew that answer; she just didn't want to tell him. The reality of the situation was that she knew Jazz was only sticking around because of her - and she didn't want that. He deserved to be out fighting his enemy, of who she only knew the name 'Decepticon' and nothing more as Jazz wouldn't tell her anymore, not sitting in her uncle's garage every night babysitting her.
"What's actually keeping you here, Jazz?"
Ally knew he'd noticed the way she'd avoided answering his question. He have what must have been his equivalent of a sigh.
He said, "I wanted a change a scenery." Trying to add some humour, he continued, "And the sight's are beautiful." Ally ignored his remark.
"If you went back to the Autobots, you'd-"
"Ally, let's not talk about this-"
"We have to, Jazz!" Ally kept her gaze steady and calm, despite the shaking starting up in her hands. Jazz's shoulders slumped and Ally lowered her eyes; he looked so… defeated.
He got onto his hands and knees so he could see her more closely. Ally understood this action as something he did only when he was intrigued, angered or confused. She ran a hand through her hair; a reflex she had whenever she was put on the spot. She'd thought about how this conversation would go for hours… so why was it so difficult to get it all out into the open?
Inhaling slowly through her nose and exhaling through her mouth in steady, even patterns, she waited for him to be ready.
Don't panic, she told herself over and over. He won't hurt you - it's not the Autobot way. Jazz fixed his blue optics on her and never looked away. Ally told herself to look straight at him and not away - she couldn't be a coward. Not now.
"Think about it Jazz," she whispered. "Nothing's really keeping you here, right?" The Autobot didn't reply, staying unbearably silent. She continued, "You need to be out there, not here!"
"What if I like bein' here?" He retorted. His tone of voice almost broke her heart; he sounded so bitter but confused and sad. Ally shook her head.
"You're the First Lieutenant, Jazz," she told him, voice soft and almost inaudible. "Even if you don't want to go, you'll have to eventually. Even if you don't need them, they need you."
The minutes passed by at a snail like pace as she waited for his reply. He'd finally looked away from her but his action had only made her feel worse. She knew she'd made an impact - his silence only confirmed that - but whether her words had created the impact she needed, she had no idea. But that begged the question…
"What is keeping you here, Jazz?"
The Autobot didn't look at her, keeping his gaze firmly on a table of tools to her left. The bright blue of his optics had dulled considerably; so much so that Ally could barely find it in herself to look at him anymore.
Still, his silence dragged on.
After a few moments, there was a crackling of sparks as Jazz activated his holoform. As the form solidified, Ally thought on his silence. It had to be something personal keeping him there if he wouldn't tell her. Before she could think on the matter any more, Jazz had engulfed her in a hug, his arms crushing her to his chest. He was far taller than her, but only that much taller than her head was the perfect resting post for his chin. He was amazing; truly. She regretted not having her camera with her - she desperately wanted to capture her last moments with him.
"You," he murmured.
For a few moments, Ally was confused. What on Earth did he mean? As she pondered his one word answer, the reality hit her as hard as a tsunami. She was the answer. It was her fault he was still there. And suddenly she hated herself for what she was doing; why did he have to leave again? He could just stay with her there and no one would know…
As much as she wanted to believe that statement, part of her knew it was false. Eventually, Jazz would think the same things she was thinking then and it would fall to him to break the news to her that he was leaving.
No, she concluded. It's far better to have him leave now to save heartbreak for later. She clutched onto him as tightly as he was holding her, reluctant to let go but remembering that it was better that she did.
"Isn't that just one more reason why you should go?" She questioned at last, her voice tiny and insignificant. She didn't want to play this card but she had to.
"What do ya mean?" Jazz retorted. His voice betrayed his confusion at her statement but there was humour there as he said, "I'm quite content to stay here."
Ally smiled before saying, "But… You'd be protecting me from the- from the Decepticons, right? Along with every human on this planet."
She could feel the holoform stiffen as Jazz tensed. She resisted the urge to hold him tighter, terrified that she'd somehow ruined the moment with her statement. Instead, he exhaled slowly and relaxed.
"Ya might be right," he sighed. Then, he chuckled, "How long have ya been thinkin' about this?"
Longer than you think, Ally thought to herself. "I hate to repeat myself, Jazz but… You need to go."
"I know," Jazz replied. Ally hated how saddened and beaten he seemed; like he was finally accepting the truth of the matter. He added in a voice soft as a whisper, "I just don't want to."
So that was it. His spark was overpowering his rational mind, making him confused over his sense of duty to the Autobots and what he wanted personally. Stepping back slightly, Ally took his face in her hands, forcing him to turn his startlingly bright, blue eyes to her contrasting dull, hazel ones.
"Hey," she whispered. "I'll be here. I'm not going anywhere and if I do, I'll find someway of letting you know, okay?" He was silent and Ally realised that he was enjoying the feel of her hands on his face. She smiled, "Just don't be a stranger, yeah? Don't forget me."
"I could never forget you," Jazz murmured.
"And I could never forget you," she agreed. Her eyes darted to the clock past his shoulder; 5.27 pm. She sighed, "I have to go now and so do you."
Jazz wanted to argue, she knew it, but perhaps acting as if they would see each other again would help them both. Ally decided to act as if they would continue their normal routine, no matter how much it would hurt to sit in the garage until five-thirty every day.
"Just a few more minutes," Jazz muttered, his eyes pleading. Ally smiled sadly.
"I can't," she told him, stepping back. "Ray'll have the supper on the table and-"
"He can wait for a few more minutes, though, right?" Jazz begged. "I'm about t' leave, Ally. I may not see ya for… months."
Ally nodded, "That may be true, Jazz, but I don't want this to affect me too badly. I don't want to break down every few minutes remembering how much this is hurting." She began to walk towards the garage doors, ready to press the button.
There was grinding and whirring in the garage yet again as Jazz transformed back into the Pontiac Solstice. As soon as he had, the garage doors were sliding open. Sitting on the hood, looking thoroughly worn out and broken, sat the holoform. Ally slowly made her way back.
"Cheer up, Jazz," she said, smiling. "This isn't really goodbye. You'll see me again."
"But… when?" Ally made her way to the hood of the car and sat next to him, folding her arms over her chest.
"I don't know," she said quietly. "I really don't."
There was an uncomfortable silence between them as they both tried their best to thaw the situation. Finally, Ally reached over and took the holoform's hand, seeking the comfort from him that he was more than likely seeking from her.
"The best we can do is act normal," she said to him. "Make plans to come visit and stick to them. That way, you'll have something to look forward to."
He sighed, "Everything is going to be so much more difficult."
Ally grinned and nudged his arm playfully. "Oh, come on. Nothing 'First Lieutenant, Designation Jazz' can't handle, right?"
She laughed as Jazz smiled, remembering his introduction to her. None of them had expected to create a bond quite like the one they had but they were glad it had happened. Jazz pulled her into another hug; almost desperate.
"Promise me you'll still be here," he whispered. Ally nodded into his chest.
"Of course I will," she replied. "I'll find a way to tell you if I'm not. I swear."
They spent a few more minutes just looking at each other before Jazz stood. Ally hopped off the hood and brushed off her jeans, holding back tears. They shared one last hug, during which Jazz kissed her forehead, creating a butterfly feeling in her stomach. Every time he did something like that, she felt it; nervous and excited. She really loved him, like a best friend but also so much more.
"I'll see you soon," she said, stepping back.
His large hands grabbed her at the last minute before placing a hasty and chaste kiss on her lips. She had barely enough time to register what had just happened before there as a crackling of sparks and the holoform was gone. As exactly the same time, the Solstice engine rumbled and the headlights sprung to life. Ally dove out of the way as he sped past, watching him disappear out of sight.
She sprinted to the doors and watched him leave for as long as she could. Only when she was sure he was gone did she allow her tears to spill onto her cheeks, her only evidence that he was really leaving her. As she pushed the button to close the doors, blocking out the suddenly cold breeze, the certainty of what had just happened hit her.
Jazz was going back to the Autobots and she was alone again. She had succeeded in convincing him to go but at a great price on both of them. Ally had known it would hurt - it was obvious that it would - but this was almost excruciating. The garage doors slid shut with a thud and Ally collapsed on the floor, sobbing into the now empty and lifeless space.
She clung to the promise that he'd return, wiping her cheeks and drying her eyes with her shirt. She had to act normal through supper, so as to not alert Ray that something was wrong. There was also the issue of explaining why she no longer had a car…
Standing and inhaling deeply, she focussed every fibre of her being into keeping calm and relaxed. She had plenty of time to mope around waiting for Jazz to return. But until then…
She'd just have to hold onto his memory.