A/N: To all those who love Tyr and Beka and hate how his character ended, here's a little fic that might give us some hope in case the cast of "Andromeda" ever comes back together…This takes place after the 12th episode in the 5th season, "Pride before the Fall", the one in which Drago Museveni himself appears and we find out about the true origin of the Nietchean race.
And to those who came here because of my other fics from "Buffy", see me at the bottom of the page!
I Saw You Then
She was standing on his bed, in his old quarters, hugging one of his pillows tightly to her chest. Even though his scent had all but vanished after almost two years, she had done this enough times to remember it perfectly. After he left, she didn't let anyone occupy his place; in the physical or emotional way. His quarters were exactly as he left them. Some of his clothes, hanging neatly in the closet. A few books on his nightstand. An unfinished painting in the corner. Nothing was changed, not even the sheets. She took care of that. It was as if she still expected him to come back, after all this time. And she knew she wasn't the only one.
After he left, she practically moved there. That fact, combined with how much time the two of them spent together, training, eating, him reading to her, or just enjoying each others company in the few peaceful moments they had on the ship, meant that she had his scent memorized and knew exactly if anyone else disturbed that particular room. After his death… each of them tried so hard to look as if they had forgotten him or that they were still mad at him. But that was so far from the truth…
She was the first to break, of course. Her rage didn't even last a day. Sure, she held a strong reign over her emotions in front of the rest of the crew, but at night, when everyone else retreated to their own space to grieve silently for their friend, she retreated to his room. Here, surrounded by all that was left of him, she finally let herself go. All her memories of them, their fights, their jokes, his training, their dance after they defeated the Cetus, his innuendos, and finally, their last day, the last time they were together… the first and last time they could pretend they were just another couple in the Universe… everything came pouring down. She cried for hours, asking herself over and over again why she always had to lose the ones she loved.
It was Rommie who found her. She cradled Beka in her arms until she finally fell asleep from sheer exhaustion. She was probably the only one who didn't blame Beka for grieving for him. As the ship's avatar, she had been a witness to all the 'accidental' touches, all the sneaked looks when the other wasn't paying attention, all the tension that rose each day until she was sincerely surprised they could even stand in the same room without either killing or jumping each other. She knew that what they had was more than just physical attraction, definitely more than friendship. She had watched as both of her friends struggled with themselves, but how they were too proud to be the first one to surrender. Until now, when it was too late…
Afterwards, the others started to cave one by one. The next one was Harper. She knew this when she came in after a tiring shift a week later and found half a dozen cans of Sparky-Cola on the table, next to one of Tyr's knifes that definitely wasn't there the night before. Then it was Trance. She didn't exactly leave any clue, but it was something about her presence that left a mark anywhere she went. That was two weeks after Harper. The last one was Dylan. Nearly a month after Trance gave in, she noticed a book missing from the nightstand. Since most of Tyr's books were philosophical, the only logical choices were Dylan and Rhade. And the latest wouldn't touch this room with a ten feet pole, not after he had tried to take Tyr's place on the ship.
They were all on the Command Deck when Dylan asked Rhade to join them on a permanent basis. After he accepted and everyone finished congratulating him, he opened his mouth and said probably the most idiotic thing he ever had in his entire life: if he could install himself in Tyr's old quarters. Everyone froze, except for Rommie who debated whether she should make an effort to control the nuclear explosion that was bound to happen. It seemed as if everyone slowly turned to see what Beka's reaction was. Even though they were never an official couple, somehow every member of the crew envisioned Beka and Tyr together. They all knew there was something between their Pilot and Weapon's Officer, but neither wanted or had the courage to interfere. But now that didn't matter anymore. As expected, Beka proceeded to tell Rhade in no uncertain terms that those particular quarters were off-limits for anyone and to not even think of daring to enter them, or else he ran the risk of losing one (or more) body parts. Then she stormed out and locked herself in those very same quarters until the next day. To say things were tensed between them for a while would be an understatement.
After a while, things calmed down. But she would still visit his quarters at least twice a week and, every once in a while, she found traces of another of the core crew. It seemed that, when one of them had to make an important decision, they each found their way there, as if, somehow, the wisdom and experience of their fallen comrade were still captured between those walls.
And that was exactly what she was seeking now. She wanted to hear him give her one of his deep and blunt advices. To have him support her silently as always. Or maybe he would be just as flabbergasted as her. Maybe, for once, he wouldn't know what to say or do. She groaned and squeezed the pillow tighter. Suddenly, she heard the sound of a hologram appearing.
"Not right now, Andromeda. Whatever it is this time, I don't want to know," she said angrily, her voice muffled by the pillow.
"It's me, Beka," a gentle voice replied. The blonde woman's head shot up.
"Rommie? But-how-you're-"she spluttered, unable to believe the sight in front of her. Because, although it was the same face, Rommie always seemed softer, more… human than the original image of the ship.
"It's me," the avatar's face smiled softly. "All of my personality is saved on the Andromeda, just in case. Even though Doyle has part of my memories, I'm always going to be a part of the ship, until the time comes when Harper can build me… again" she explained, looking around with longing. She had faith that, at some point, Harper would build her a body again, but she yearned to be able to touch things, to embrace her friends… She moved over to the bed and sat down. Now more than ever she wished she could be able to comfort her friend, just like past times. "I heard about Drago." She said simply, knowing the reason Beka's nerves were frazzled right now.
"How?" the blonde asked.
"I'm still there, Beka." Rommie replied gently. "Even though you can't see me all the time, I'm always there. Through the monitors, in every hologram, even in Doyle. I'm connected to everything that belongs to this ship. Besides," she grinned, "you should know by now that you can't hide anything from me." Beka laughed a little, but the mirth disappeared from her face quickly. "You're thinking about him, aren't you?" the brunette asked. Beka snorted, her eyes filling once again.
"Don't I always?' she asked bitterly. "Almost two years and there hasn't been a day I haven't thought about him, a battle I haven't wished he was there, by my side, a second I haven't loved him…" she trailed off, the tears finally coursing down her checks silently. "All this time I cursed this Universe that was determined to keep us apart, hated that I was just a human and he was a Nietchean, just to find out that, actually, we're really not that different now. But what does it matter? He's dead, damn it, and he's not coming back, so what was the purpose of me finding out now? Why didn't Drago just steal my DNA and leave it at that? Why did I have to find out?" Although her tirade had started soft, it had ended with her screaming and pacing in front of the bed. It was times like this that Rommie hated that holograms couldn't cry. Watching Beka go through all of this seemed so unfair to her. All her friend ever wanted was to have someone that would love her, all of her, and now she just found out that the man she loved more than anything, the man that was dead, could have been hers, if only they knew the truth.
Everyone on the ship knew about how Tyr's pride was destroyed and how he vowed to himself that he would rebuild it to its former glory, no matter what. But, as it turns out, no one can predict who obstacles can come in our way. Rommie had seen Tyr more than once in the gym, punching and training until exhaustion, until he was so tired that he couldn't think about anything else, just to go to bed and wake up in the middle of the night screaming Beka's name. Sometimes, he broke something afterwards. Sometimes, he went back to the gym. And sometimes, he cried. For his pride. For his child. For his love. For the woman that made him question his very reason of being. Rommie had told no one how, in the months before he left, the nightmares were much more frequent. How he kept looking at pictures of the crew, pictures that decorated an entire shelf, pictures that he took with him. How, in his last night on the ship, he stood with a picture of the entire crew, a picture in which his arms were around Beka and she was looking at him with a big smile on her face, and tears were pouring down his checks. How he told Rommie to take care of her, no matter what. She had known something would happen, but she didn't say anything, knowing that it was already hard enough for him. She just told him to take care of himself.
At the beginning, Rommie was wary of Tyr. He was a Nietchean, and she didn't want to let him in too close. The last time she trusted one, it didn't end so well. But slowly, Tyr managed to gain her respect and appreciation. All the times he had saved the others by putting himself at risk, all the moments when he played basketball or Go with Dylan, when he fought with Harper against the Magog, when he tried to teach Trance how to fight, when he looked at Beka… All the little things he did, slowly but surely, made him a comrade. A friend. And just like the others, she grieved when he died. Even though Gaheris was a good man, somehow, Tyr left a bigger impact on all of them, and no matter what he did in his last moments, he would always be missed by all of them, Beka more so.
The woman in question suddenly stopped pacing and dropped on the bed, tugging his pillow to her again and staring at it.
"I'm so tired, Rommie," she whispered. Rommie felt her heart breaking for her friend. She sounded so defeated… "When is it going to be over? When are we finally going to be able to enjoy some peace?" She let out a dry laugh. "Listen to me, talking like a thousand years old." She sighed." I just want him back, Rommie. Is that so much to ask?" She turned weary eyes towards the hologram.
"No, it's not." She replied, although she knew she should keep her mouth shut. She had a few theories regarding Tyr's death that she hadn't shared with anyone. She didn't want to give Beka false hope, but that's just what she needed right now. Hope. "Maybe it's not as impossible as it seems." She said carefully. Beka's eyes narrowed in confusion and heartbreak.
"What do you mean, Rommie? He's dead. I saw him die."
"Yes, but have you? Have you really? I mean, Harper saw Hohne die too, right? And somehow, he appeared here, not long ago." She was getting more excited now.
"Rommie, Hohne fell through a tessaract machine. Tyr fell in a volcano." Now it was Beka's turn to look at Rommie as she stood and started pacing in front of the bed.
"I know what you saw, but how sure can you be of that? Maybe it was all an illusion of the Abyss. Maybe you weren't even near a volcano." She stopped to look closely at Beka. "Look, I know I never said anything, but it seemed really strange to me the way Tyr acted in the end. I know he was a Nietchean and that he wanted to bring back the Kodiak pride, but that Tyr seemed almost psychotic. Also, you never remembered those last few moments, right before Dylan, Harper and Rhade got to you. Maybe that wasn't even Tyr that fell. But most of all, what always seemed a stretch to me was the fact that Tyr was willing to make a deal with the Abyss, not to mention giving you up to him. We both know how much Tyr hated the Magog and what they did to Harper, not to mention all the other time the Abyss has played with all of us, including him. Why would he ally himself with something he hates? He loved his pride too much to leave it's restoration in the hands of something that he didn't trust." She watched as slowly, disbelief, then hope, denial, insecurity and hope again filled Beka's eyes. She sat on the bed again, whishing that she could take Beka's hands in hers. "I don't want to give you false hope. Maybe I'm wrong, maybe I'm right. Just… hang on. Don't give up. When we go back home, maybe we'll manage to find more." Beka let out a breath, and then nodded slowly. She felt lighter somehow. That was just what she needed, a goal, something that will maybe help restore some of her control, lost when faced with the latest development. "Now get some sleep. I'll let the others know not to disturb you, ok?" Rommie offered, standing up and watching as Beka nodded and stretched on the bed. At the last moment, Beka called her. "Yes?" Beka swallowed, looking down, then back at Rommie.
"Thank you. I really missed being able to talk to you." Rommie smiled.
"You don't have to thank me, Beka. I'm always here when you need me, you just have to call." She dimmed the lights slowly, watching as Beka's eyelids dropped and she slipped in an easy sleep, hopefully filled with dreams of the future, a future in which she finally has what she wants.
A/N: Okay, sorry if there are any grammar mistakes or factual error. Consider the fact that it's 2 in the morning and I haven't seen the 5th season in a couple of years, at least. Also I haven't seen the 4th season, except the episodes that had Tyr in them, so I have no idea how things were after his death and how Gaheris was accepted within the crew etc. Hope you enjoyed it!
Also, for those who came from "Buffy", I really want to apologize for not updating for so long. I know where I want to end up, I'm just not very sure how I'm going to get there and my inspiration seems to have taken off to another planet. Hopefully, I can make an update in the near future, but I'm not making any promises that I cold break. Again, I'm terribly sorry and also very thankful to all of you who added my stories to your favorites!