Full summary: Kingsley Shacklebolt is asked for help by the American Ministry, when their Quidditch Association receives a number of threats. He soon realises that there are very few people capable of portraying a professional Quidditch player, willing to give up their entire life in England to move overseas. Therefore, he turns to Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy for help. There is just one, major catch: they have to get married. EWE. Sexual content later into the story. Slash. And more.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that belongs to JK Rowling, obviously, or "The Joneses", which is the movie from where I got my inspiration. I don't own the Toblerone mountain either, sadly, but that has nothing to do with this story.

A/N: This story contains Quidditch-wives (yes, the horror), a lot of slash and quite a bit of cursing. It's vaguely inspired by the film "The Joneses". I have written six chapters for this story already, in hope that it will make it possible for me to update more regularly than I was able to do with 'Glued'.

This story is not Epilogue compliant, but it's true to the rest of the series.

It was important to me to think about all the ways Harry's and Draco's relationship to each other possibly could have changed during seven years of never seeing each other. This is what I came up with and I hope you like it.

The first chapter will most likely be published sometime during next week, if all goes well! :)

Also, this Prologue is written from Kingsley Shacklebolt's point of view, but the remaining chapters will be written from either Harry's or Draco's.


Kingsley Shacklebolt was worried. He had just received a rather alarming letter from the American Minister of Magic. Rather confidential as well. It was not only the contents of the letter that worried him but also the first, and possibly the only, people he thought that would be able to do succeed with a job like this.

It was perhaps, also, the only people who, most likely, would not be able to work together, not even for a cause like this.

He buried his face in his hands with a sigh and massaged his temples with his index fingers, in hope of increasing his brain activity.

They were the only people for a job like this. The only ones that would even consider giving up their lives for the sakes of others – that possibly felt as if they had nothing to lose.

So, Kingsley Shacklebolt decided to do something he rarely did: make it easy for himself. He stared down at the two, close to identical, letters he had already written for a few moments, before he reached for his stack of envelopes. The tip of his eagle quill scratched quite loudly over the thick Ministry parchment in the silence, as he wrote down:

Mr. Harry Potter

Number 12, Grimmauld Place

And then, even with the slightest hint of hesitation in his movements:

Mr. Draco Malfoy

Malfoy Manor

He sent them off with a pair of owls before he could change his mind, knowing that he would have two, very separate, meetings within the next couple of days. And possibly a trip to St. Mungo's the same day both of said men would find out exactly what this job meant.


"You are, without a doubt, the best professional Ministry employee when it comes to mapping organized criminality. That is why I need you for this job." Kingsley did his best to sound reassuring and confidence-inspiring. Though, it was hard to read the pale face of Draco Malfoy.

The young man in front of him seemed indifferent to Kingsley's words. It was the truth, even so. He had been extremely successful with finding out the next move of a number of criminal groups. Kingsley had the impression that he used his earlier experiences as a Death Eater, but it was no secret that Draco Malfoy had a sharp mind.

The Ministry had been reluctant at first, when Kingsley had presented the proposal to hire Draco Malfoy, afraid that his previous involvement with the followers to Lord Voldemort would make them look bad. They had, however, agreed on hiring Draco Malfoy as a Ministry employee if this was kept strictly confidential for a while. That "while" had lasted five years, and did not seem to be coming to an end anytime soon.

Kingsley had spent the last hour explaining the details of the mission overseas.

"I would be moving to America?" Draco Malfoy said, a spark of interest lit in his eyes.

"Yes. For how long, I am not sure. Until the American Ministry is satisfied."

"And I assume this is a job undercover?"

"Correct," Kingsley confirmed. "It will be quite the challenge to keep it believable."

Almost impossible, Kingsley thought to himself.

"How so?" Draco Malfoy chose this moment to sit down on the opposite side of Kingsley's desk, leaning back gracefully in the visitors chair.

"There is an American Quidditch team that has recently lost one of their best players. They suspect it to be a crime, but those suspicions are not yet official. Two weeks ago, the American Quidditch Association received letters that are supposedly threats towards the very same Quidditch team, and their government were informed.

"The American Minister of Magic is very worried about this, as no suspect has been found or even taken in consideration. American laws also state that any undercover job for their Aurors must be filed, which is an issue, since they have not ruled out the possibility that the culprit is a Ministry employee or a member of the American Quidditch Association, which is a part of the American Ministry. Therefore they could easily access this file and that would, of course, endanger the Aurors working undercover." Kingsley took a deep breath, trying to read the expression of Draco Malfoy's face which, much to his dismay, revealed nothing.

"So, the American Minister of Magic turned to you for help?" Draco Malfoy offered with an indifferent tone in his voice.

"He did, indeed," Kingsley said with a nod. "It is a dangerous job, of course. Therefore I could only send two people that I can trust in situations like this. They would be shipped off, planted in the Wizarding village where the players of this team live, disguised as a married couple and preferably a very happy one."

Draco Malfoy raised one eyebrow at these words, perhaps questioning Kingsley's sanity more than just a bit. That would make two of them.

"One of them would be posing as a member of the Quidditch team – the other would have a job that would give access to the other players homes and spouses."

"You're suspecting other players on the team?" Draco Malfoy asked, always drawing the right conclusions of Kingsley's words. "So, this would take a person that is both a good Quidditch player and a powerful wizard, while at the same time not already a professional player?"

"Correct," Kingsley said once more.

"And someone who would gladly leave their whole life behind without knowing when they will be back." It was a statement, not a question.


"Where on earth will you find another person willing to do this, Shacklebolt?" Draco Malfoy questioned with a hint of amusement in his voice. The light in his eyes told Kingsley that he was more interested in the job than the resigned posture of his body let on.


"When it comes to vague, possibly insane and extremely challenging jobs like this one, I am your man."


"What makes you think that they would recognize a professional Quidditch player but not me, Kingsley?" Harry had the crease between his eyebrows that clearly said that he was considering accepting.

"Harry Potter is not very well known in the American Wizarding community, but most professional Quidditch Players are, since they sometimes play for American teams."

"Wouldn't it be found strange if an unknown Quidditch player suddenly turned up out of nowhere, applying for a professional team that has lost one of their players recently? I would find it suspicious." This was one of the reasons to why Kingsley had decided that Harry was the man for this job. He was not a Ministry employee, but a powerful wizard that tried to keep out of the eye of the rest of the British Wizarding world. It was obvious that the young man had spent the past seven years hiding away. It was also obvious that he was tired of this.

"It would. That is why you will tell them that you have been injured. See, when a Quidditch player that is not, forgive me, someone extremely special, is injured for years and therefore not playing, he or she is almost automatically forgotten."

"And you consider me the right person for this job, because..?"

"It is not a coincidence that you were the youngest seeker Hogwarts had in a hundred years. It is also not a coincidence that you are the man who beat Lord Voldemort."

"And I have to get married?" Harry sighed in defeat. Kingsley had a feeling that he was trying to find a good reason not to take this job.

"Yes. And you will take your spouse's last name, just to make sure that your full name doesn't draw any unnecessary attention." Kingsley had a feeling that neither Harry or said soon-to-be spouse would be very happy about Harry taking on the Malfoy name.

"And when will I meet her?" Harry asked, raking his fingers through his hair. Kingsley took this question as a confirmation of Harry accepting the job.

"How about next week?"