Title: Unexpected Company

Author: iwomans_sister

Disclaimer: I don't own anything or anyone from I-Man

or Stargate, and I don't own DarienTheClone and

BobbyTheQSClone. They belong to Liz_Z and I am just borrowing them. Though I have to return Darien in less then a week. However, BobbyTheClone, JackTheClone, and DanielTheClone belong to me.

Rating: PG

Genre: Humor

Spoilers: A lot of them! From both Stargate SG-1 and I-Man.

E-mail: why should I tell you? You might be stalking me. ;) Oh in that case, want my home address and phone number while you're at it?

Authors Note: I am just going to call everyone by their names... But be warned, they are clones I got from Liz_Z. Two as gifts, one I borrowed and the other, well, I got him before she even knew my real name. Scary huh? Anyway, I owe Liz a fic and this is what I am trying to let her collect on. Even though it isn't really a fic and more of a funny little thing... Hope it works!


Well, since my Bobby clone arrived from Liz things around here haven't been the same. When I watch an I-Man eppy I never hear the end of it. Hobbes is always gloating about how good his other self is on the set. Sometimes he forgets he's a clone and thinks he's the real thing. Course, I don't think I could ever forget the time that Liz sent her Hobbes clone over for a visit.

He has a QS gland and all. He and my Hobbes never saw the end of playing tricks on my sister Rachel. There was the invisible head floating through the air late one night. Her door mysteriously opening and closing. Even some parts in her files were erased as she was working on them. Every now and then she'd find a note typed up on her computer. But never saw anyone there. *gulp* I hope she hasn't figured that out yet.

But soon the wonderful Bobby clone with the gland had to go home. Now a few months later Liz sent over another friend. Well, it all started two days ago...

*Knock, knock* I get up and walked to the front door, not knowing what to think. Opening the door I say, "Yes?" But am shocked to see the sight before me.

"Hey Fielding, Hobbesy around?"

I think I am going to pass out. What is Darien doing at my house? He has a huge suitcase. I wonder why it is so big. Maybe he has 500 hair products in it. "Hobbes is downstairs. Want me to get him?"

"Now, just show me the way." I open the door all the way for Darien and when he steps in I shut it. However, before going downstairs I walk over to my N64, which I had previously been playing Perfect Dark with, and shut if off. Then I take him past the kitchen into the laundry room, and down the steps from there. I pause as I realize he is not behind me. I turn back around and the bottom of the steps and see him struggle to get his suitcase past the freezer. Oops, I had forgotten that was there.

"Want some help?"

Darien just gives me puppy dog eyes and I sigh. Stepping back up the steps I pull on the case. Still not sure why he even has it. We finally get the case down the stairs and we take the first door to the left. I open it to find my Hobbes clone at the computer typing. "What are you doing at my computer?" I almost yell. "You know that since the whole milk in my keyboard incident that you are not allowed to use it!"

Hobbes looks up with a look of a boy with his hand caught in the cookie jar. But that expression changes as he sees who is behind me. "FAWKES!" He says, jumping up and hugging his old friend, whom he had only met once. (But that was before Liz had sent him to me, and they hadn't known each other very long before Bobby came here. But I have heard that they keep in contact.)

Darien looks at the two beds and then lays claim to one. I can't believe my ears. "Hello, this is my room!" I say. He just ignores me.

"I want the top bunk, I might hit my head on the bottom."

"You might hit your head on the ceiling too." I reply, "AND THAT IS MY BED!" Now both Hobbes and Darien look at me and I'm not sure what to do. Did I just yell at them? I guess I could let him have it, I mean, I can sleep on the floor. Wait! This is my home! And this is my room!

"Are you feeling alright, Fielding?"

Oh, that's it, I've had it! "I'd be feeling a lot better if I could have my own bed!" I say. Oh, now I'm the bad guy. Hobbes and Darien give me weird looks. Like it is a sin for me to want to stay in my room. "Why are you here?"

"Liz sent me."

"Oh goody, I'll just have to thank her later." I say, my voice dripping with sarcasm. Don't get me wrong, I love Liz, but her clone is just a little too much for me at this moment. Oh great! A thought comes to mind. Where am I going to sleep! Darien is already unpacking. What the heck? "Darien?" He still isn't paying any attention to me. Great, just great!

Bobby looks at me with those sexy chocolate brown eyes and I take the hint. Leave Darien alone, he'll learn the rules sooner or later. I just hope it's sooner. One thing is for sure, I'm not going to cook for both of them! "Hey!" I grab my pillow and blanket off of my bed.


"I've seen the show buddy," I say to a very confused looking Darien clone. He still looks like he doesn't understand. "You drool!" I say, "There is no way you are using my pillow." He looks at the blanket, "No! This is my favorite!" I take my things and I set them on my chair, great! I get to sleep in a chair while Mr. Hairball gets my warm comfortable bed! I walk to the door and close it, behind it there is a dresser. "Hobbes has the second and third one. You can take the fourth and fifth."

"What's wrong with the first one?" He asks.

"It's mine." I follow his eyes with mine, they land on his suitcase. "NO!"

"Man, you sure complain a lot."

"You don't know the half of it!" Bobby decides to say.

Oh, that was just wrong. I look at my desk and find the first thing I can. A book. "Oops," I say as the book hits Hobbes in the gut. Oh, he's going to be sooooo mad at me later. Oh well, it was worth it. I look at the clock, "Crap! Well, it's 1:00, I need to get back to school. You two try not to get into too much trouble." I say leaving. Yeah, like that's going to happen. A thought comes to mind and I peek back into the room. "Did Liz send counteragent?"

Darien pulls a silver brief case out of his bag and shows it to me. Before he can put it back I snatch it out of his hands. "Thank you."

"Hey, what was that for?"

"Just making sure you don't use too much quicksilver. My sister is still around, and I haven't forgotten the adventure of the last clone Lizzy sent over. Besides, the counteragent needs to stay cool."

Bobby gives me this questioning look and I have to smile. Okay, so the whole house feels like a freezer.


I look at my clock, 2:30... I am already on my third cup of coffee, just great. "Dad?" I ask, holding up my empty cup. He looks at the coffee pot and stands up from his desk. (My sisters and I study in his office, in case you are wondering.) As he empties out the coffee grounds he bumps into something not even I can see, dropping a few of the grounds on the floor.

"It was an invisible man, I swear!" He says.

I laugh, you see, it really is an invisible man... But my dad has no idea. I'm not even sure if my sisters get it. Maybe Rachel. Hobbes told her about Darien being here.

Well, so far everything is going great... It's getting late and I check my E-mail... I open my e-mail box and see two e-mails from my dear friend. Wondering what she is up to I click open the first one.

From: "Elizabeth Cotrofeld"

Reply-To: (this part blacked out)

To: Naomi@secret-agent.com

Subject: A gift for you.

Date: Tues, 19 Feb 2002 05:30:17 -0000

My eyes about fall out of my head in shock. I click on the next one.

From: "Elizabeth Cotrofeld"

Reply-To: (this part blacked out)

To: Naomi@secret-agent.com

Subject: Another gift for you.

Date: Tues, 19 Feb 2002 05:32:12 -0000

Great! I hit download and there's a knock at the door. I am tempted not to answer but I change my mind. I run up the stairs and open the door. I find two more clones. Yet another thought comes to mind, I'll never see my bed again! Colonel Jack O'Neal and Doctor Daniel Jackson walk in. When they step in I look out, seeing no one else I frown.

"Expecting someone?" O'Neal asks.

Oh great! He is being sarcastic! "Actually, I was told there would be a hot guy at my door."

"Really, that Liz, always so kind."

"Isn't she though?" I ask, "So, where is he?"

"Who?" Daniel and Jack both ask.

"Mr. Hottie, who else? Duh, Teal'c."

"Teal'c? I thought..."

Oh, this is rich! I smile. "Well, how long are you here for?" I ask.

"Didn't you read the e-mail?" Daniel asks.

I give him a funny look, where are their bags, by the way? I don't wait for Danny Boy to tell me what the e-mail says. I just head down the stairs to the computer and look. Uh oh. Well, Rachel is going to be happy. I wonder how much room she has. Maybe I can get rid of Daniel. She seems to think he is cute anyway. I might even let her buy him those glasses from the last eppy we watched together on Saturday.

Oh well, I guess this is for good. I might even be sad to see Darien go in a few more days. "I get the top bunk."

"No, I do!"

"I do!"

"I'm taller!"

"I'm the Colonel of the SGC!"

"Stop acting like children!" I say.

"He started it!"

"Did not!" I roll my eyes, nope. I won't be sad to see Darien leave after all.

The End