a/n: I apologize for this monster of a chapter. XD
"There, there," cooed Uchiha Mikoto as she petted the top of her future daughter-in-law's head. She and Itachi had arrived not too long ago, tense and obviously bothered by something. They had all gathered in the kitchen then, and Kagome had explained the situation to them. "There's no need to be so upset!" She continued, hoping her words would comfort the girl. "I'm sure that not many people have seen the book."
Sasuke snorted, obviously knowing that wasn't true.
"It's just so embarrassing," Kagome muttered, slightly raising her head from the table. "Being featured in Icha Icha isn't something to be happy about."
Fugaku, who had remained quiet throughout the entire recounting of his son and Kagome's encounter with Uzumaki Naruto, cleared his throat. "I will get the entire Police Force to deal with it."
"No!" Kagome immediately protested, grabbing onto the man's sleeve. "I appreciate that, Fugaku-san, but no! That'll only draw more unwanted attention."
"This is not something that I can ignore, especially since anyone with even half a brain can tell who the story is really about," Fugaku responded, getting ready to stand. "This is insulting!"
"Calm down," Mikoto said to her husband, urging him to sit back down. "This is Kagome-chan and Itachi's issue, and it's their job as a couple to come up with a solution together. Our only job is to support them." Her eyes started to glisten and her hold on his arm tightened. "We are merely one couple backing another."
"Together," Kagome reiterated to Itachi, knowing full well that he wanted to deal with this on his own.
He watched her with calm eyes, knowing full well how stubborn she was.
"Together," he quietly agreed.
Sasuke glared out the window above the sink, feeling completely cast out.
Fugaku knew that trying to argue against his wife was not going to end well for him. "Very well. What do you two plan on doing?" He asked Itachi and Kagome.
"We'll find Jiraiya-sama and go from there," Itachi answered simply.
Mikoto's eyebrows furrowed. "Do you know where to find him? Is he even in the village?"
"Of course he is. Naruto says that he usually comes back to the village to celebrate the release of that crap he calls literature," Sasuke said, surprisingly helpful for once. "Check the bars."
"He won't be hard to find, then," Itachi inferred, as he recalled hearing from Shisui that there was one bar Jiraiya favored above all. He held out a hand to Kagome to help her stand.
"Please don't bother waiting for us," Kagome told the Uchiha family with a wave before leaving with Itachi.
In a lively and somewhat standard bar located in the middle of a village sat a man. He had long, untamed silver hair tied in a low ponytail, and wise, dark eyes.
He was one of the legendary sannin, and his name was Jiraiya. He was at the bar that evening to celebrate his genius and success as an author. With him was a pretty blonde female he'd met just a couple days ago. They sat at the counter, side by side, to the far right.
"And to what do we owe this honor?" The woman he had invited along questioned.
"Success," Jiraiya answered with a grin. "And my great achievement."
"How lovely and humble of you!"
"There's no need to be humble," Jiraiya said, the grin never leaving his face. "Icha Icha Feudal Tale is my biggest hit to date!"
The female's eyes lit up. "Is that so?"
"It is. I chose my subjects wisely."
"And who were your subjects, exactly?"
"Just two kids named Uchiha Itachi and Higurashi Kagome." He threw a smirk at the woman. "Those names ring a bell?"
She seemed to muse over it. "They sound familiar, but I've never been good with names." Her dark eyes drifted to a couple sitting at a nearby table before settling back on Jiraiya. "How did they react when you told them you wanted to feature them as the star couple in your novel?"
The implication did not pass by her. "You didn't tell them?"
"Of course not!" Jiraiya said with a laugh. "They wouldn't have let me publish it if I had! You see, everyone is under the impression that my books are nothing more than nicely worded pornography!"
The female took a sip of her drink. "I wonder why."
"My series is literature at its finest," he defended. "Who doesn't enjoy reading a good love story? I just happen to include all the features of an adult relationship in my books."
His pretty blond companion smirked at him. "I'm sure the couple in mind probably will have a thing or two to say when they see it."
"Happy words, I hope! I worked hard to write this story."
The blond laughed. "Please tell me you didn't stalk them just to get material."
"It's a mix. I got most of my details from asking around, and whatever people couldn't tell me, I found out on my own. Spying only gets me so far."
His lady friend laughed. "Isn't that some sort of copyright infringement?"
"You can't copyright something as broad as love, sweetheart. Also, I altered things a bit so it's not all the same."
She didn't appear convinced but she wasn't going to ask anymore. "Well, I'm sure they're a lovely couple."
Jiraiya leered. "Oh, they are."
"It has begun!" The male exclaimed. He placed his drink back down on the counter and leaned back to search for the person who had yelled his name. "Right here!"
A pretty brunette met his gaze before stomping towards him, looking absolutely murderous. The bar quieted as they watched the woman approach Jiraiya. Thanks to them being at the counter, nearly everyone got a front row seat to the drama about to unfold before their very eyes.
The woman looked…oddly familiar, but Jiraiya couldn't exactly recall where he'd seen her. He pushed that to the back of his mind and smiled handsomely at her. "How may I help you this lovely evening?" He asked.
It'd taken her all day to find the guy, and she wasn't going to let him distract her from her purpose in finding him. Sango prepared herself, as she was about to give him a lecture he'd never forget. "How dare you write a book about Kagome-chan and Itachi-san!" She bellowed, her anger completely overpowering her normally calm composure.
'Ah, a friend,' Jiraiya realized while Mayu, his blonde comrade, quietly watched on.
"Don't you realize what you've done by writing that stupid book?! Have you no shame?!" She continued to yell.
Jiraiya laughed. "Of course I don't! If it did I wouldn't be here celebrating!"
'The audacity of this jerk!' Sango thought as she clenched her fists. "You perverted, inconsiderate man! Doesn't it embarrass you to have tainted such a pure love with your filth?!"
Her words had no effect on Jiraiya. "Hey, sweetheart, lighten up!" He said. "This novel is special! It's a celebration of Konoha's most prominent couple! If anything, you should be happy!"
Sango began to shake. "Happy? Happy? I'll show you how happy I—!"
"That's enough, Sango-san."
Sango quieted and drew her fists back, glancing at the male who'd appeared out of nowhere. "Itachi-san." Then, she noticed the fuming girl standing beside him. "Kagome-chan!"
"Ah, the couple of the century!" Cheered Jiraiya, ignoring the looks of death he got from the couple. "Here to celebrate your love story becoming an international hit? Come sit!"
Kagome was having none of that. "Jiraiya-sama, how could you?!" She demanded while stepping closer to him. "How could you do something like this? Did you really think we weren't going to notice?!"
"On the contrary. I knew you were going to notice." He pivoted in his seat to face and smirk at the red faced girl. "I just hoped you two would have been a little happier of the positive response my book has gotten."
"How are we supposed to be happy with this?!" She held out the copy of Icha Icha Feudal Tale Itachi had taken from Naruto for everyone to see.
She recoiled from the sudden wolf whistles and shouts that erupted from a couple of the drunken clients who had happened to get a glimpse of the book. She let go of it, letting Jiraiya catch it.
The cheers instantly stopped when Itachi's eyes bled into the Sharingan, silently daring anyone to continue.
Fortunately (for them), no one did.
Jiraiya shook his head and tsked. "Now, Itachi-kun. Is that really any way to respond to a compliment?"
Out of Itachi's many impressive features, his control truly was something to admire. So was his ability to ignore a goad. "Please refrain from ever writing something without permission again," he said. "Or of Kagome and myself."
"I'm an author; everything is fair game," countered Jiraiya.
"This isn't!" the explosive Kagome protested.
"But I did it with good intentions! I chose your story because it's the type of story people love! Two teenagers with completely different personalities and backgrounds, having to overcome many obstacles before they can be together in peace? It's gold! And think about it; it might give other couples the strength to pursue their dreams!"
Sango's eyes widened. "Stop trying to justify your actions! You just wanted material for your disgusting porn!"
Jiraiya wagged his finger at the two girls. "I prefer the term 'Erotic fiction'."
"Jiraiya-san..." Itachi said warningly.
Kagome stomped her foot. "It's the same thing!"
Sango fiercely nodded in agreement. "You can put lipstick on a pig…" She droned, still glaring at him.
"I really think we're all overreacting," Jiraiya said, not at all fazed by the suffocating anger radiating off the three individuals standing before him. "Let's sit down and talk this out." A sly grin lifted his lips. "We still need to discuss royalties, don't we?"
Mayu loudly screamed when the book in Jiraiya's hold suddenly burst into flames—black flames—courtesy of Itachi. Jiraiya started to laugh, finding the situation more humorous than he should while Mayu attempted to douse the heat with both his and her drink but to no avail.
"Jiraiya!" She yelled, watching as the book slowly began to disintegrate. "You're gonna catch on fire! Drop the book!"
That only made him laugh harder.
"Fire!" Someone else shouted. "There's a fire!"
Jiraiya finally stopped laughing when people began throwing any liquid they could find in his direction, soaking both him and Mayu.
"Hey, stop!" He demanded, though no one bothered to listen.
Kagome attempted to hide behind Itachi, who watched the scene with a somewhat satisfied expression. The flame was small, and burned slowly enough that nothing would happen (that was, of course, if Jiraiya let go of the book). His thoughts were interrupted by a shriek from Kagome; someone had managed to drench her back with alcohol.
"Don't you have eyes?!" Yelled Sango before throwing the closest bottle at the stammering man responsible for the deed. It missed and broke against the wall, splattering those nearby with glass and wine. Someone screamed and threw something back.
Sango, Itachi, and Kagome managed to duck and avoid getting hit, but that resulted in the object hitting another unsuspecting man.
With that, a full out bar brawl ensued. The bartender hid under the counter as people rushed to grab whatever they could get from that area.
Itachi occupied himself with protecting Kagome from the objects being thrown, ranging from glasses, purses, snacks… Everyone had gotten caught up in the moment and lost control.
"Itachi, stop your Amaterasu!" Kagome ordered, her voice partially muffled before she slightly pushed away from him. "Fire, alcohol, and drunkards don't mix!"
With how everyone was acting, he doubted stopping his jutsu would do much. Still, he did. As he predicted, the commotion continued (and Jiraiya was caught smack dab in the middle of it).
For now, that would suffice. It was just too dangerous to remain there. So, without wasting another second, he took Kagome into his arms and made a stealthy exit.
After a whopping 10 bowls of ramen, a content Inuyasha was finally on his way home from Ichiraku.
Food made everything better, and this case was no exception.
He patted his full belly. He'd go home, sleep, then tomorrow he'd go to Miroku and tell him about Ayame's—
"Fire, alcohol, and drunkards don't mix!"
He stopped walking and regarded the place the voice had come from.
There was no doubt about it. That had been Kagome's voice.
Inuyasha shifted his feet and all but ran into the bar with the intent of finding Kagome, worried that she was in some kind of trouble.
He was not expecting to see what he saw: chaos.
"What the hell is going on here?!" He inquired with wide eyes. And was that Sango—?
Seconds later, a mug flew straight towards him and hit him right in the face.
"Dammit!" Inuyasha cried, cradling his aching nose. "Who the fuck threw that?!" He forgot his initial purpose of being there as he got lost in the mess, merely wanting to find the jackass who had dared to throw something at him.
He failed to see Uchiha Itachi carrying a surprised Kagome out of the bar.