necklace

starring sakura as kickass, sasuke as stupid, naruto as stupider, sai the tactless, and hinata and ino as the dumbfounded.


"Sakura-chan! That's quite a nice necklace you've got there! Hinata-chan has that, too, only she doesn't wear it! Oh, but she does move a little ring somewhere, can I see, can I see?"

Sakura stared at him, and ignored him. Why is it, that Naruto has such selective brilliance? When it came to common world sense, he never knew a thing.

"For once I have to agree, Dickless. It does look quite becoming on Ugly. Though it's a bit large…and tasteless."

There we go, one more person to join the club of those lacking common sense. In addition to that, this one had already joined Sakura's list of people to clock on the head, painfully, before she turned thirty.

She sighed. Really, with teammates like this, who needed television and entertainment?

"Sakura. Stop wearing that."

There was the voice of reason. Or what was supposed to be the voice of reason. Which he ceased to be since last night at the ramen bar where they had the village's worst shouting match. She glared at him. Fiercely.

Still not talking to you, bye.

With the silent message effectively conveyed by the narrowed eyes and the raised eyebrow (don't ask how she did it, she just did), Sakura turned around and stomped away.

"Sakura! Why are you wearing your menstrual count necklace?"

"I-is that…some sort of statement, Sakura-chan?"

"…because Stupid believes I am far too delicate to bear children again, and wants to wait for the two year period before we have unprotected sex."

"…"

"But Forehead, isn't that what's advised? I mean, if it is for your safety why not—?"

"But I so wanted twins! So if I can't have twins, I'll have children who are closely spaced together that they enter the same grade in school, and only then can I pretend they're twins!"

"…"

"…ah. That."

"And that's why I'm holding out on any kind of sex unless I'm fertile, according to this necklace, and by then it will be unprotected. It's also a statement, as you so kindly pointed out earlier, Hinata-chan, that whenitcomestoourchildren,Uchiha,Igetthefinalsay."

"…"

"Um, yeah, sure…?"


"Did you hear that, EmoBastard? Your wife just announced a bloody war with you."

Grunt.

"Yeah, you go, Sakura-chan! Yeah—OWWWWW!"

"…"

"FINE. I-support-you-all-the-way-Teme—OWW STOP HITTING ME! Just because you're frustrated—OUCH! WATCH IT, I WILL UNLEASH FREAKING KYUUBI ON YOU!"

"…hn."