This wasn't inspired by anything in particular. I've been wanting to write a story for awhile now. I don't have a Beta.
This story doesn't have a concrete plot yet, but I'm working on it. In the mean time, I'm keeping the story open and trying not to get too specific in any one topic and direction. Thanks for reading.
'Another day, another diamond', I thought dreamily as I looked at my alarm clock at the side of my bed. '10:00 am...Huh...I could've sworn that meeting was at 9 ... Hmmmmm ... Shit.'
"Holy fucking crap!" I screeched as I jumped out of my bed, quite literally. Scrambling off my bed, I failed to realize that my soccer ball, my oh-so-innocent soccer ball, which had been innocently sitting beside my bed, doesn't make a good stepping stool.
Personally, I think he did it on purpose. He's always had it out to get me ever since I dropped him in the pool. If you think I'm crazy, you can blame it all on the stupid ball. I've taken one too many hits to the head from the damn thing. He's getting revenge from the time I dropped him in the pool! I KNOW IT! HE'S OUT TO GET ME!
During the 5 milliseconds that I'm having my mental break-down, I managed to meet a long-lost friend.
Floor: Face! Is that you? Hey! It's been a long time.
Face: Hey, Floor! Ya, it's me. It's been forever! How's it going?
Floor: Fine. Still getting around. How about you?
Face: Fine. Nothing new... Oh! So how's it going with you and Ceiling?
Floor: Oh, dude. The other night we met up at the bar and she... (This goes on for awhile, so we're just going to skip ahead. We'll continue this later.)
After I recovered from my "accident", I made a bee-line for the bathroom. Looking into the mirror, I took in my eternal blond fluff of a head, my tired sapphires (surround by black bags, of course), the mysterious tan I've always had, the 3 marks on each side of my face that gives me a foxy, rough look, and my leen build which fit snuggly into my lovely orange boxers that I couldn't live without. I don't wear shirts to bed due to the fact that they always try to kill me in my sleep (I'm not kidding).
I'll wake up breathing like I just drowned myself in water, and my body covered in strangle marks. It's the weirdest thing. Sometimes, I wonder if my bed and shirts are plotting to take me out while I sleep. It wouldn't surprise me. They always give me the evil eye when I walk into the room. At least my boxers are still with me, though. I don't think I could survive being strangled by my boxers... Ouch.
After finishing my bodily examination, I came to the conclusion that I only had 3 strangle marks today. Yup, we're off to a good start.
******Hahahahahahah! I'm a time-skip! Fear me!******
By the time I reached the meeting room, it was 11:00 am. Sakura was going to beat the crap out of me. Don't be fooled by her bubble-gum pink hair and mezmerizing jade eyes. She will beat the crap out of you. Who cares if you're her child-hood friend? Who cares if you use to like her? Who cares if you're her boss? She will beat the crap out of you. I shivered at the thought.
I tried to come up with a valid excuse for being late to the meeting:
Attempted Excuse #1: 'Hey Sakura! Sorry about that. The traffic was terrible. A car got turned upside-down and blocked off 3 lanes. Traffic was backed up for miles.'
Attempted Excuse #2: 'Hey Sakura! Sorry I couldn't make it on time. I was on my way here when I got a flat tire. I had to call a tow-truck and he dropped me off here. Who knew that tires popped after using them for 2 weeks?'
Attempted Excuse #3: 'Greetings Sakura! I apologize for my tardiness. During my journey here, I was abducted by aliens and kept prisoner in another dimension for a year. I only managed to barely escape when Luke Skywalker destroyed the Death Star, releasing all the prisoners. It was then that Yoda offered me immortality for not telling Darth Vadar the ancient secrets of the Force. But I refused, when I thought of how you would be here waiting here for me to join you. Yoda understood, and used the Force to create a portal that would transport me back to Earth. But due to a time wripple, I arrived at Earth in what appears to be only a minute later than from that of the time I was abducted. Unfortunately, I'd spent too much time in the other dimension, and had to relearn how to speak the language of this world. I apologize for causing you distress in any way over my absence.'...Ya, that'll do.
Once I selected my death wish, I walked into the meeting room. The first thing I saw was a flash of pink, and then I was greeted with "the Fist of Friendship", as Lee liked to call it. The "Fist of Friendship" greeted my stomach like any old friend would... hard and painful.
Remember earlier, how I said sometimes I woke up breathing like I had been drowning? I lied. I woke up breathing like I'd been punched by Sakura Haruno. It was not a pleasant experiance.
Once I was able to breathe again, I looked up (as I was still hunched over, hugging my stomach) and attempted to smile at the cause of my near-death. Sakura had her hands on her hips, looking at me like I'm hyperventalating for the fun of it.
"Naruto Uzumaki. Do you have any idea what time it is?"
I look at my watch (while I'm hunched over). "11:o5."
"And do you have any idea what time you were suppose to be here?"
I look down, not wanting to see the murderous intent in her eyes. "9:00."
"Good. Now, I hope you have a good excuse for being 2 hours late to your very important meeting that can decide the outcome of the business company that your father spent his entire life founding and building with of his blood, sweat, and tears."
She said all of that in one breathe and in 4 seconds flat. I'm dead.
Standing up, "Well, you see Sakura, I was on my journey here when-"
"Oh, spare me your crap, Naruto. I don't want to hear some excuse about you being abducted, kidnapped, attacked, dying, hospitalized, paralyzed, poisoned, unconscious, sh-" I tuned out after that. She always added one to the list whenever I made an excuse. Which was a lot.
This could take awhile.
While Sakura was listing the excuses I've used in the past, I looked around the room, hoping to entertain myself somehow before I died of boredom. Let's see: wooden table, chairs, papers, projector, -'Oh, look at that. That's an interesting painting. I wonder who painted that.'- windows, white walls, blue carpet, some guy glaring at me, a TV, laptops, a briefcase or two- What the hell?
I look back at the man glaring at me. 'Has he been here the whole time?' Judging by the glare that could kill a box of puppies, I'm guessing that he'd been there longer than the whole time. 'Fuck. He's probably the CEO I was suppose to meet.'
Meaning to apologize, I made eye-contact with him, trying to look regretful. The moment we made eye-contact, I felt like he was going to kill me. I honestly did. If looks could kill, he would've stabbed me with a knife, cut me into pieces of sushi, dragged me into the back of his car, dumped me in the middle of the desert, bombed me with nuclear war-heads, dug up my ashes, and dropped me in a vat of chemically combined toxins that could kill a whale with just one touch... But since they can't, and I'm impulsive, I was alive enough to react as I naturally would to any murderer who wanted to kill me (besides Sakura). I glared right back.
This guy was a bastard.
Thanks for reading. Hopefully, I'll continue the story. I am actually really curious as to what kinds of crap I can come up with next. Please review so I know!~