Still alive. Thought I would update. Bleh.

My question of the day: "Should we be embarressed that we're basically writing gay porn on the Internet?"


Talk about cryptic. Don't get too carried away. You never know what will happen. 'Hmm, I'll remember that. You never know when you might wanna make someone eat their owned words.' I stash that away for another time. Looking out the window, I watch the cars rush back and forth, just blurrs of color and metal. I think about what's happened so far. 'So what do I do now?'

Like someone was answering me, Sakura walked in. "Oh, he already left. Did you get the merger signed yet?"

"No. But we're going to meet up again later, so I have time." I answer.

"Ok." She walks over to me. Taking advantage of the back of my chair, Sakura started wheeling me toward the door. "So seeing as how the meeting ended and you don't have anything else to do, I'll go get the paperwork you haven't finished. It's due tomorrow and you're not even halfway done. Really Naruto, I expected better of you. You're a full grown adult and CEO of a company. You should know bett..."

God damn whoever answered me.

3 Days Later

"...That bitch."

"What was that?"


"... We'll call you up when your order's ready, sir."

I nod my head and walk away, grinning. 'Poor sucker. She's probably going to spit in my food now or something. Ha, there goes the biggest tip she's ever going to get. Plus, I can just switch the burger with Sakura's, so-'

That bitch.

I frown, remembering who the true villain is.

How dare she. How dare she do this to me. Who does she think I am, her servant? I'm her boss, for Christ's sake! And the Boss does not do coffee runs! Especially for his secretary/friend/personal demon! What the hell!

'Okay. When she's not looking, drop her burger in th parking lot, and pretend that you forgot to get a reciept. This way, she'll be starving for the entire 2 hour car ride. And then she will learn not to mess with the Boss. Ha! Take that, Sakura!'

At this point, you could question my own sanity. And for many reasons.

5 Minutes Later:


"I'm sorry! I didn't mean-"


10 Minutes Later:

It came back.

That awkward silence from before came back. I'm sure of it.

Right now, it's probably thinking, 'Oh fuck. Not this guy again. SHOOT ME NOW.'

Tch, bastard. I don't see what his problem his. He's probably getting paid to be awkward, anyway. With me around, he'll never have to bother with some first-couple-sex ever again! Now that sounds like a pretty good deal to me. So be grateful, you shitty fuck!



"You can't drive for shit."

'And you can't drive at all.'

"How do you know?"

'...P-Piss off!'

"No thanks."

'Go away.'

"As if. I'm gonna be rich." ...I knew it.

'Like I care. I'm plenty rich, already.'

"And that's why you're driving an ancient volks-wagon."

'Shut up. It was my parent's first car. It helps me think.'

"Not much."

'Fuck off. I'm busy.'

"Not thinking."

'Screw you.'

"I'm straight."


Nursing my eye, I continue to drive down the highway, swirving between cars and dead animals, alike.

"Try not to think too hard. We can't have you in pain at the wheel."

'I already in pain.'

"Damn it, kid. Suck it up and take it like a man. Not up the ass."

'I'm not a girl!'

"Hn. But you scream like one."

'Egh, don't do that. That's creepy.'


'You sound just like him.'

"Your boyfriend."

'He's not my boyfriend!'

"But you like him, hhmmm?"

'Fuck you!'

"I'm straight."

'I never asked!'

"Just thought I'd let you know."

'...I'm straight.'

"So am I."


"I'm tired."

'From what?'

"Being awkward."

'Then go be awkward somewhere else.'


'Well, why the hell not?'

"...The windows' closed."


I roll down the window.

"Naruto, can you close the window?"

"I thought you wanted it open, you fucking bitch."


Finally arriving at our destinantion, I open the door and get out of the car.

"Finally! I thought we'd never get here!" Sakura said, stretching her arms above her head.

'Easy for you to say,' thinking back to the car ride here. 'You're not the one that looks like a raccoon.'

"Mommy, why's that man a raccoon?"

"Shh! Don't look at him. Or you'll become a weirdo, too."

'... This better be worth it.'

"Come on, Naruto! Don't worry about it. They're not that bad."

I look at her.

"... Anyway, let's go! The rides are waiting. Let's go have some fun!"

A carnival... maybe I can become a carney?

All those fun moments they can have at the carnival. Hehehehehe...

Review for Naruto to realize his dream of being a carney!