Why yes, yes it is. A few months ago, my laptop was being stupid and wouldn't open the document for me… So I deleted it, and secretly abandoned it because I'm sneaky like that. But earlier this month, as I hope you all know, the Hunger Games trailer premiered and I became inspired to write a super long chapter in pretty much… everything I've ever typed… Ever. So I started asking around, trying to figure out who I had sent it to, who had read it, and then I remember that I had sent a copy to my amazing Beta, DefyingGravity4Good, the day before my laptop was stupid. And so I hopefully searched through my outbox in DocX, and I FOUND IT! WOOOOOOOOOOO! I was excited beyond words, and now I'm overjoyed that I finally get to share this with everyone!

Now, the reason I've updated so much today (which you probably didn't notice unless you have me on Author Alert) is because today is the 1 Year Anniversary of the day I first saw Wicked! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Okay, so basically, a few months ago, I decided that to make today super special for not only myself, but for the Fanfiction community in general, I would post/update everything that I'd written as far as Fanfiction. Yay!

Alright, so now onto the actual fic. Basically, before any of you continue reading, I need you to open up a new tab/window/whatever and search Faking My Own Suicide by Relient K on Youtube, because without that song, none of this would've been written so… GO RELIENT K! WOO!

Seriously though, time for the main event. People of the world, I give you, Faking my Own Suicide:

For every action, there is a reaction. And for most of Fiyero's actions, the reaction would be a slap on the face from Elphaba. But over the months of his time at Shiz, Fiyero slowly made his way to being her friend. It started with passing her tedious notes:

Hey, Elphaba, what're ya thinking about?

Go away, Tiggular.

It continued with having lunches with her:

"Hey, Elphaba, would it be alright if I joined you?"


"Oh, are you saving this seat for someone else?"


He tried a more innocent approach:

"Hey, Elphaba, could you help me with the Biology homework?"

"Shiz doesn't have a Biology class."

"Oh, yeah, right…"

And then he finished it off with one more attempt:

"Hey, Elphaba-"

"Go away."


So, in Fiyero's mind, they were practically best friends. If I were Elphaba, he schemed, what would impress me?

"She likes books," Nessarose offered cautiously when Fiyero interrupted her studies at the library to ask about Elphaba's interests.

"Is that it?" Fiyero prompted.

"Pretty much," Nessa confirmed. "Of course, she could have a completely alternate life as a pole-dancer and I'd probably never know."

"Oh, well, thanks for the suggestion," Fiyero sighed, disappointed.

"Why did you want to know anyway?" Nessa asked.

"Um-I uh- wanted to-" Fiyero stuttered. Well, he couldn't exactly tell the truth could he? There was still the fact that he was in a "perfect" relationship that prevented him from actually asking Elphaba out.

"Fiyero, dearest!" he heard his girlfriend, Galinda, nearly scream. Her clanking heels on the wood floor and high-pitched squeal was met with several, "Shhh!'s" coming from students who were cramming for Professor Lytira's monthly mathematics exam.

"Fiyero," Galinda greeted him, grabbing his hand. "Can I talk to you in private?"

"Of course," he replied, already being dragged out to the large courtyard in the middle of the Shiz campus.

"What is it?" he asked.

"I think that we should not continue to not just be friends," she explained nervously.

"…What?" Fiyero asked dumbstruck.

"I just think we should not be anything more than friends."

"So… you're breaking up with me?" Fiyero clarified.

"I don't want to not break up with you," she nodded, still avoiding the actually question.

"So do you not want to not break up then?"


"No, we're not not breaking up?"

"No, I don't want to not break up with you!'"

"...So we're still together?"


"Ohh," Fiyero said, "why didn't you just say so? Sheesh."

"Why aren't you upset?" Galinda asked, visibly disappointed that Fiyero wasn't begging for her to take him back.

"Um, I am. I'm just hiding my sadness for your sake," Fiyero lied quickly.

In all actuality, he couldn't be happier. He'd been worrying for weeks about how he was ever going to break up with Galinda, but now that she was breaking up with him, all was good.

"Truly, Fiyero, I hope that we can still be friends, and even through the pains of your broken heart, you may learn to forgive me," Galinda said with sincerity, obviously believing that Fiyero was actually heart-broken.

"I'll try my best," Fiyero told her, sniffling.

"Goodbye, Fiyero," she whispered. She turned and slowly (and dramatically) made her way back to the girls' dorms.

The moment she was out of sight, Fiyero did a small happy dance.

"Must you dance so stupidly, Tiggular?"

"Elphaba!" Fiyero exclaimed happily, twirling around mid-dance. There was Elphaba, sitting on a wooden bench, and it was obvious that she'd seen the entire ordeal with Galinda.

"Me!" she replied sarcastically. Fiyero looked at her closely. Nothing about her ever seemed to change. Her hair was always braided into a tight pleat, she always wore simple frocks that were either blue or black, and she always seemed to have a stack of books under her arm.

"Did you see all that?" he asked, chuckling awkwardly.

"Yes, and it certainly brightened my day, thank you very much," she replied, giving him a thumbs up. They laughed quietly for a moment before Fiyero joined her on the bench.

"Listen," Fiyero said, suddenly serious, "we need to talk."

"About your stupidity?" she guessed, looking at him with false concern.

"No! About that day… ya know…with the Lion Cub."

"There's nothing to talk about. Dr. Dillamond was arrested, and we released a poor little Lion Cub into the wild. And that's that," she snapped, looking down as she blushed.

"Aw, come on! There was more to it than that! Remember, you were all like, 'Somebody's gotta do something,'" he mimicked monotonously, doing the same pacing and arm movements that she'd made months before. "And then… then it was all BOOM, FLASH, FLICKER, and then everyone started doing these weird puppet dances, and I grabbed the Cub and was all like, 'Are you coming?'"

To say that Elphaba was not amused by Fiyero's story-telling abilities would be a complete and utter lie. And his impression of himself was hilarious; a crossover between an almighty god and an oblivious-to-the-world surfer dude. However, she really wished he'd stop talking about it. It just made her feel awkward about what had happened in the forest that day, how she'd touched his face…

And how he ran to 'safety.'

"And then you were all like, 'I know you're not actually self-absorbed and shallow,'" Fiyero continued telling her. "And then I was like, 'Yes, I am!' And then you were all like, 'No you're not, or you wouldn't be so unhappy,' and then a few minutes later you were all like, 'The Cub must've scratched you,' and I was like, 'Yeah, or maybe it scratched me or something,' and then… then you touched my face, and I ran away," he finished.

Like a scared little boy, Elphaba thought sourly.

But why shouldn't he run away? You're hideous! Her mind argued.

Oh, just shut up, and let me talk to him!

I am you, smart one!

"And your point is?" Elphaba asked pathetically, half-asking Fiyero, and half-asking the voice in her head.

"I think that we need to discuss what happened!" he stated, annoyed that she'd completely disregarded his 'amazing' story-telling skills.

"You're thinking again? Don't hurt yourself," she chastised him.

"Why do you always do that?" he practically yelled, exasperated.

"Do what?"

"Every time I say something even remotely serious, you shut me out and then insult my intelligence!" he replied, not missing a beat. "And what's worse, is that you told me that I wasn't shallow and self-absorbed that day in the clearing! And ever since then, you've said nothing to me that would possibly support your method."

"I never said you weren't stupid," she pointed out.

"You denied you that thought I was really stupid, though!"

For the first time in her entire life, Elphaba had absolutely no comeback, no witty remark, or any clever way of dragging him away from the topic. She was stunned into silence.

Fiyero, who was shocked by how loud his voice had gotten, sighed in frustration.

"I just think we should talk about it, that's all. I figured that maybe we could have lunch together and maybe… I don't know what I wanted, really. I guess I just wanted to spend time with you," he admitted.

Again, Elphaba was stunned into silence by his sincerity. Nobody had ever been so genuinely interested in what she said or did, much less actually want to spend time with her. Why would Fiyero have any more reason than the rest of the world to spend time with her?

"W-Why?" she finally managed to choke out.

"Why what?" he asked.

"Why would you want to spend time with me? I'm nothing but rude, critical, and insultingly green," she listed as if it were obvious.

"Green is my favorite color," Fiyero muttered. Elphaba snorted.

"Oh, you're serious?" she asked, looking into Fiyero's sincere eyes.

"Yes!" he declared, throwing his arms up in annoyance. "Honestly, for someone that's supposedly really smart, you can be extremely stupid sometimes!"

"Oh, I'm stupid?" Elphaba yelled, standing up swiftly, demanding to be at a higher point than him.

"Yes, I do think you're stupid!" he countered, stranding up as well. "Sure, you may know just about everything there is to know about boring and unimportant stuff, but when it comes to having a civil conversation with anyone, you are absolutely stupid!"

"Oh, you're one to talk Mr. I'm-Too-Good-To-Study! Maybe if you actually attempted to learn something, you wouldn't think it was so damn boring!" Elphaba practically screamed at him, suddenly worked up at being called stupid.

She may not have been beautiful, but being smart was always something about her that she had been comfortable with and confident about. For anyone, especially Fiyero, to compromise that knowledge was something that she wouldn't allow.

"You know, Elphaba, maybe if you explored the possibilities of life, you would know that you can't get all of life's answers from a book!"

"Well, at least I don't spend my time cheating at life and asking others for answers all the time!"

"Ya know, you make it seem like you're heartless because you're green, but I think that you really are heartless! You just use the green as an excuse!"

"You caught me, Fiyero! I'm a soulless monster with no concern for anyone but herself!" Elphaba replied sarcastically.

"Oz, you are so infuriating!" Fiyero shouted, running his hand through his hair.

"Then why do you continuously talk to me?" she shouted back. By this point in the argument, other Shiz students had been either staring in fascination, or were cowering away from the two who by this point were now nose to nose, hearts racing.

"Well, I thought maybe we could be friends, but I suppose it was really just because I felt sorry for you!"

"And how do you feel now?" she asked.

"I feel the past five months have been nothing but lies!"

"Oh, really?"


"Then why are you still here?" she yelled, making what seemed like all of Oz go silent.

Fiyero stared at her for what seemed like forever. Why was he still there? The answer was unbeknownst to either of them. Why did he even bother trying to become friends… or possibly more than friends… when all she did was push him away? He needed some way to convince her that… he cared, that he didn't mean any of the mean things he was saying to her now. So why didn't he end the argument there?

And then it hit him.

"Because I love you," he whispered in awe at his discovery.

Elphaba slapped his face in reply, her face as red as it could get for someone with green skin. Though it was highly unlikely that any of the other Shiz students heard his confession, Elphaba was embarrassed, angry, and was upset by the lies he kept feeding her. How could he just play with her emotions like this, especially when... when she loved him?

"I hate you, Fiyero Tiggular!" she screamed, suddenly infuriated beyond belief. Didn't he realize that she really did have feelings and that he couldn't just come up to someone and tell them that? Especially her. But, she had become, unfortunately, good at hiding her emotions. Hiding your true emotions and feelings, as Elphaba had learned, made it easier to conceal disappointment or sadness.

"No, you don't!" Fiyero exclaimed, his whole mood changing from angry to hopeful in just a moment. "You love me too! I know you do! That… that day in grove… we were going to-"

"Shut up, Fiyero!" she screamed, fighting the urge to slap him again. "You don't know what happened that day!"

"It's not about what did happen!" he protested, hopefulness turning back into anger. "It's about what would've happened!"

"And why didn't anything happen, Fiyero? Oh, that's right! It's because you ran away! How can you come to me, after months of ignoring me, with these confessions of yours?" Elphaba asked him, her blood surging inside of her. She had to be extra careful about not accidentally letting her magic get out of hand.

"I don't know what I even saw in you… You distorted-" Fiyero shouted, infuriated.

"Ooo, so tough!" Elphaba mocked him.


"Heard it all before!" she taunted, though she felt she was getting ready to break from fighting with Fiyero... she just couldn't do it anymore. Maybe she should just apolo-

"WICKED WITCH!" he yelled finally, though he regretted his words as soon as he spoke them.

Elphaba froze, tears filling her eyes. Fiyero longed to apologize and make it up to her, but as he feared, the damage that had been done was clear when she spoke:

"I wish you were dead."

Hm. Like that's not gonna give Fifi any ideas. PLEASE REVIEW!