A/N: So—I really hated the ending of the book Eight Seconds by Jean Ferris, so I decided to 're-write' it haha. anyway, this IS slash… Kit is gay in the book, and John figures out that he is as well… Therefore, if you don't like it, then don't read it. As stated above, I, in no way, am claiming to own the book. If I did, then the ending would have been like this… But as I don't, I had to re-write it. Reviews are always welcome! Flames shall be sent to Antarctica to hang out with Rock Hopper penguins. Beware! :)
"Look John! Look!" Clemmie cried as she trotted around in a figure eight on my horse, Doc.
"Great," I replied with a smile. It had been a few months since she really got into riding. Right now winter was fast approaching. School had come and the rodeo scene calmed down. Life seemed to be normal, excluding the gaping hole that Kit had left in my heart. It seemed that he had left a lasting impression on Clemmie too, because she was always asking for him. Like now, for instance.
"John! When is Kit gonna come see me ride fast? He said he would come see me!" She looked at me from atop the giant ranch horse. I didn't think I could explain everything to her, I mean, how do you tell all that to a six year old? You can't. Well, Kit probably could; He could do everything. When I'm working on the farm alone, I can't help but remember him—remember things I shouldn't have. The way he moved with such grace even on top of a raging bull. He was fluid with everything he did. It amazed me from the time I met him, to the time I fell for him, to the day I lost him, and even now. He was so perfect at everything—not just bull riding. The way he spoke was like the soft wind blowing through the desert. And his sandy hair fell like it was spun from strands of silk.
Clemmie brought me out of my reverie by her exclamations of "Kit! Kit, Kit!"
"Clemmie, I told you, when you are old enough to ride in the rodeos, then Kit will find you again."
"But I want Kit to come over and see me ride. He can even pet my pony!"
"Clemmie you don't get—"
"I missed you girl! Don't worry, I will come over and pet your pony. Why don't you show me some of those new moves I'm sure your brother taught you."
I couldn't believe it. There he was, in all of his glory, leaning against the familiar truck. My heart began to pick up as he walked down the hill from the driveway. He tossed a gentle smile towards me before continuing past me, down to my sister and the horse.
As he gave her tips on her form and some tricks that she would be able to do, I contemplated what compelled him to return here. The last time I had talked to him I was sure that I would never meet him again, and I would never be able to see the beautiful smile until I died and met him in heaven. I pinched myself to make sure that I wasn't dead. I know, I know, it sounds cliché, but I really needed to make sure that I was alive. The man I loved with all my heart was here, and even if I didn't get to talk to him, I had seen him again while he was in a good mood.
Clemmie soon tired of showing off for Kit, and left to go find the dog. I waited with bated breath as Kit turned around. I couldn't be sure that he actually wanted to talk to me—that he didn't just come to see Clemmie. However, my doubts were silenced as he walked up to me.
"Haven't seen you for a while." He said as he reached me. I couldn't think of anything to say. Everything in my heart couldn't be put into words, but I needed to try. Sensing my confliction, he continued.
"I'm off from school for a while. My grades went up and they told me to take some of the advanced work home. They were worried about me. They saw me walking around school, not really talking to anyone. They thought I was depressed—Ya know? So I decided I might as well visit and old acquaintance."
There it was. He didn't even call me a friend. How could I live with knowing that I mean that little to the man of my dreams.
"Oh, I see. Well… That's great," I said with a smile.
"Yeah. People kept telling me things like 'you need to go find yourself a boyfriend.' That was mostly why I was annoyed. Also had some guys from out of town trying to convince me to go with them to 'hang out'… if you know what I mean."
To say I was confused was an understatement. Hadn't Kit wanted that? Heck, anyone usually wants to date anyone they could have, and Kit could have anyone he wanted with a flick of the wrist. I couldn't fathom why he would get annoyed with it. But soon enough he answered my thoughts.
"I just… I couldn't do it—Ya know?" That phrase must have gotten picked up recently, because I had never seen him at a loss for words.
"It was hard for me, sure there were awesome dudes there, I mean, there were even a few that I would usually consider going for. Well, I would consider going for them about a year and a half ago. Now… All I can say is that I just ain't sure anymore."
I nodded with him. So he wasn't sure about dating anymore? I still couldn't really grasp quite what he was saying, but hey—Kit was back and talking to me. I didn't want to ruin it by sounding like a dumb bastard.
"I just can't go out with someone… Knowing that I can't give my heart to them fully." Shit. I saw where this was going.
"So uh…" I started with hesitancy and a bit of a broken tone, "Who's the lucky guy?" I know it didn't sound great, but I was trying to be supportive of him and whoever he must be in love with.
"Are you kidding me kid? You mean you don't know?"
"Well… I don't go to your college… and the only other guys I know are—Wait! No, Kit! It's not Bobby is it? I thought he had a girlfriend! Oh man, what am I gonna tell her she's sure to be asking me—"
"John!" he laughed slipping into more southern tones like he used to when he was nervous at camp, "It sure as hell ain't Bobby, you don't got to worry bout that."
"Oh," I replied, "Well, I'm stumped. You got me man."
"I sure hope I do," He replied, suddenly breaking eye contact and looking out at the mountains. What did he mean? Did he want my support? I think he knows I would give it to him, no matter what arguments we got into. The only other thought was… Oh.
I couldn't bring myself to believe it, for fear of my being wrong and my heart being shattered. I tested my theory by moving a little closer to him to see what he'd do. He broke out of the trance of watching the clouds, and calmly regarded me.
"You figure it out yet?" He questioned with a little smile, but underlying concern.
"I—I think so. You might want to explain though, to make sure I got it right."
He looked at me carefully, like one would look at a flower to figure out how to best pull it out of the ground to put into a vase without messing up the petals. Slowly but surely, he leaned closer to me, until I could feel his breath ghosting across my face.
"In case you haven't figured it out…" his whisper trailed off as he closed the gap between our faces. It was like nothing I had ever felt before. Never, had I ever experienced anything like this with any of my ex- girlfriends. The grace he applied to life, shown through the kiss, as he brought his arms around me, snaking one across the small of my back, and one to support my neck. I reciprocated, moving my arms up to his shoulders, where they came to rest, comfortably draped over them.
Too soon, it felt, he pulled his face back slightly. He rested his forehead against mine, and pulled my body impossibly closer to his.
"I'm sorry for getting so mad at you earlier this year. I just—I realized this summer that I loved you, and even though I knew I was gay, I didn't know how to go about loving someone… I had never experienced before."
The beauty in front of me took my breath away. I couldn't believe that Kit—perfect Kit—was apologizing to me! It was enough to snap me out of my Kit-induced haze, and apologize right back.
"Kit," I said, relishing the feeling of his name gracing my voice again, "You have nothing to apologize for. I was a jerk. End of story."
He laughed, sounding like the soft running brook in the forest I used to play in as a child.
"Well now that we got that sorted out, I believe there was something I wanted to do."
"Oh?" I questioned.
"Yeah," he answered, "I wanted to do this again." And with that, he pulled me forward slightly, into another heart melting kiss, to which I responded eagerly. A few minutes pass, with us just sharing sweet words and kisses back and forth, before a small voice interrupted our paradise.
"Kit?" We both looked to the owner of the voice. "Uhmm…" Said Clemmie, "Does this mean yous are gonna have babies? Cause that's what mommy and daddy do… and they had babies," She whispered.
"Uh." I struggled for an answer to her peculiar question. Luckily, it was Kit to the rescue once again, when he suggested that he and Clemmie should go brush down the new foal. She eagerly agreed, and took off toward the barn. Kit made to follow her, but after a few steps, halted, and turned back to face me.
"You coming or what?" He said with a gleam in his eye.
I needed no further convincing.