AN: I've been wanting to write something for SML for a while so thanks to Tonya Manning for beta'ing this for me.
Come What May.
The wind whipped around my bare shoulders and back as I leaned over the rail, closing my eyes and inhaling the thick scent of salt that hovered in the air. My hair danced around my face, twisting and curling as it got tossed to and fro in the wind. The engine of the yacht hummed, as it sliced cleanly through the water, parting the dark waves and drowning out the chatter and clinking coming from inside.
It was like, out here away from everything, anything was possible. I slipped out of my heels, not even noticing the grimy floor as my toes curled inwards before flexing out, happy to be free from their narrow prison
"I thought I'd find you out here," a low, husky voice murmured and I inhaled a shaky breath as his large, warm hand splayed over the bare skin of my back, settling on the small of it. I shivered, but it wasn't from the cold.
I turned my head in his direction, taking in the flaming wisps of red hair that sat on top his head, down to the piercing dark eyes that reminded me of a turbulent sea. His cheekbones sat high on his face before leading down to the firm line of his stubbled jaw. His pink, pouted lips curved up into a slight smile, making little crinkles appear in the edges of his mouth and eyes.
"Edward," I whispered, my voice getting lost as the wind took them in a harsh gust. He leaned sideways on the railing, the bow of his tux hanging loose around his neck and the top three buttons of his perfectly starched shirt opened. He hated these parties as much as I did.
My heart ached as I turned my gaze forward, knowing that I wouldn't be able to control my emotions if I kept looking at him.
Edward Anthony Masen Cullen the third had always been a close friend of my father's. Some of my earliest memories included him, from birthdays to hitting the horror that was puberty. He was the first man - apart from my father - to give me his full attention when I talked, instead of placating me like my mother and her friends did.
He would always bring me books from his travel since his job as a pilot for private planes took him all over the world. He shared my passion of all things literary and it wasn't unknown for us to spend hours in the family library, reading side by side.
He was there the fateful day that my father died in a freak storm two years. No one had been able to predict the force of the damage that had hit his boat, killing him and his crew out in open sea.
Edward had always been my shoulder to cry on. Whether it was some boy that I was certain had broken my heart or just some petty fight I had with my friends, but that night things changed.
"Promise me that you'll never leave me," I begged, tears still streaking down my cheeks as I clung to him, almost as if I was afraid that he would disappear when I let go.
"I will never voluntary leave you," he answered, trying to soothe me, and I buried my head back in his neck, sobbing. I hated that I had no control over anything. It seemed as though life was slipping through my fingers like sand through the cracks of time.
Once I had managed to calm myself down, I pulled back, staring up into his face as my hands reached for it, cupping it between them. I leaned my forehead against his, looking deep in his eyes, seeing the sorrow and pain that was reflected in mine.
"Never leave me. I won't survive if you leave me too," I whispered. He opened his mouth to speak but I didn't let him, instead I molded my lips to his, feeling the softness of them under mine.
He sat frozen for a moment before slowly, carefully, detangling himself from me.
"What are you doing, Belle?" he asked, using the nickname he had given because of the obsession with Beauty and the Beast that I had harbored as a child.
"Love me," I whispered, trying to lean up to kiss him again. He pulled back out of my reach, placing his hands gently on my shoulders.
"Belle, you are distraught and emotional. You don't know what you're doing," he soothed, trying to find some sort of acknowledgement of his words in my eyes.
"I know what I'm doing," I protested because if this experience had taught me anything it was life was too short to waste on the what ifs.
He let out a pained sighed and closed his eyes, rubbing his forehead with his palm in agitation. "Don't waste your love on me, Belle. A nice, young guy is going to sweep you off your feet and you'll forget that this ever happened."
He'd pulled away from me after that night, not physically but I had felt the distance between us. I understood why he did it and I both loved him and hated him for it. I knew he only had my best interest in mind, but he didn't get that he was in my best interest.
I shivered again as his thumb traced circles in my back and leaned closer into him.
"Do you ever wish things were different?" I asked quietly.
"Sometimes," he answered honestly. "But then I remind myself that there is a reason for everything. If it's meant to be then it will happen. If not now, then later."
I rolled my bottom lip in between my teeth, nibbling on it softly as I mulled over his words. "That is a little 'hopeless romantic' isn't it? You're starting to sound like me," I teased.
He chuckled, the sound deep and raspy as it rumbled through his chest. "I guess you're rubbing off on me. But in all seriousness, when you get to be my age and are still alone, hope is kind of the only thing that keeps you searching for the woman you hope to spend the rest of your life with. No matter what anyone tells you, no one wants to be an eternal bachelor."
He laughed wryly, dipping his head down so that his hair fell in his face, obstructing my view. If I hadn't known him any better I would have thought that he was okay with that fact, but I did know him and I could hear the pain laced delicately in his tone, weaving in and out of his words. He retracted his hand from my back, leaning his body fully against the railing, playing with his fingers absently
"I'm sorry," I whispered.
"Don't be," he said lightly, glancing over at me with a small smile on his lips. "I sometimes think that I actually had her, but just couldn't bring myself to do it. I wanted to, I really did, but I couldn't."
I couldn't stop the tiny flair of hope that rose in my chest at his words. My chest tightened and my breath seemed to be lodged in my throat.
"Do you remember that night two years ago?" he asked suddenly, pulling me out of my thoughts.
"The night I kissed you?" I clarified.
He nodded, staring straight ahead out into the blackness of the night. "Yeah, the night you kissed me. Why did you do it?"
I stared at him a long moment before inhaling a steadying breath. "Do you actually want to hear the answer? Are you ready for it?" I asked him tentatively.
He raked a hand through his hair and sighed, turning his body in my direction. "I think I finally am," he murmured.
"I kissed you because I've been in love with you since I was eighteen," I told him honestly.
"I'm not going to sell you some bullshit story, Edward. I know you, and I know that you don't need some twenty-four year old woman who you've seen grow up, watched her go through puberty, confessing her undying love to in some misguided attempt to get you to reciprocate those feelings. I'm not that kind of girl, but that night, you told me not to waste my love on you, but frankly, that's what I've been doing for the last two years and I fucking tired of wasting it when I could be giving it to you."
I could see the conflict raging in his eyes as his brow furrowed, lines marring his forehead. "I'm on the wrong side of forty, Belle. Hell, I'm old enough to be your father," he said, his tone agonized.
"I don't care," I murmured, shifting closer to him. It was as if everything, the party, the yacht, the water, evaporated, leaving him in me suspended between time. I stopped moving when I felt our chests connect and my body shuddered, loving the feel of the hard lines of his muscles pressing into me.
"I'm set in my ways. You can't change me," he pressed on, trying to dissuade me.
I shook my head lightly, letting more strands fall into my face. "Even if I could, I would never want to," I answered. I raised a hand to his chest, feeling his heart pound against my palm.
"They'll never accept us. Your mother would rather see you alone for the rest of your life than with me. And your father..." he trailed off, his jaw clenching as he slammed his eyes shut.
"My mother can go to hell. Charlie would have wanted me to be happy and there would have been no one he would have trusted with my heart more than you. He probably wouldn't have liked it at first, but I think he would have eventually welcomed us both back into the family... Now, shut up and kiss me."
My words seemed to shred through the chains of his restraints and he grasped my face in his hands, his body practically trembling as his control slipped away. I pulled myself further into him, pressing my body against his as I angled my face up so that his lips could meet mine.
Our eyes never left each other as he lowered his mouth, pausing when they were mere centimeters away from each other. I could taste the whiskey and cigars on his breath and my lips parted, wanting more but knowing that he had to take that last little step.
Electricity hummed between us, zipping furiously as he crushed my lips to his. My lips immediately yielded under the weight of his and my body melted into him as I tried to mold myself to him, my hands sliding up his chest and wrapping around his neck.
He dove a hand into my hair, gripping it as he tilted so as to deepen the kiss. His tongue didn't ask permission as he thrust it between my parted lips, meeting with mine, twisting and coiling around it as they danced together passionately.
His free hand palmed my hip through the thin, silk fabric of my dress and I swear I could feel the heat of his hand scorching my skin as he snaked it down my thigh before roughly hitching over his hip. I gasped into his mouth as he groaned before pulling away.
His rested his forehead against mine as we stood there, life around us slowly trickling back into focus. His eyes were heavy-lidded as he gazed at me from under his eyelashes, lust clouding his eyes like a storm brewing on the horizon; so beautiful, yet so terrifying.
"If we don't stop now, I won't be able to control myself," he said, his voice rough with desire.
My fingers played absently with the hairs on the back of his neck as I peered up at him, breathes shallow. "I don't want you to stop," I whispered, and his eyes blazed like hot coals in a fire.
I almost protested as he pulled away from me, but he grasped onto my wrist and strode purposefully down toward the hull of the yacht, towing me along behind him. My bare feet slapped against the deck and I hoisted up my skirt with my free hand, not wanting it drag along on the floor as I followed him.
The pins that had held my hair up had fallen out when Edward had driven his hand through the thick of it and my hair fanned out behind me as I practically jogged to keep up with him. My heart beat furiously, thumping noisily in my ears as we ducked in and out of passageways toward his room.
I couldn't quite put a finger on the emotions rolling and fluttering around in my stomach, it was something between excitement, desire, anticipation, and happiness. It felt like it was shooting through my veins, peeking out of my skin and surrounding my body in warmth.
He fumbled with his key as he unlocked his door before dragging me into his room. My eyes barely adjusted the darkness before he had me pressed flush against the door. I heard the sound of the lock clicking as I arched, hissing as my overheated skin touched the cool wood of the door.
His mouth covered mine, smothering my moans and cries of pleasure as he hoisted me up, his hands palming my ass roughly as my dress bunched up around my hips. I wrapped my legs around his waist tightly and my nails scratched against his scalp, making him groan, the sound vibrating through his chest to mine.
I was panting by the time he finally let me breathe, his wet, warm lips travelling down my jaw to my throat.
"Tell me you want this," he growled. "Say it. Out loud."
My head fell back against the door and I closed my eyes. "Don't stop. Don't ever stop," I whimpered as his lips brushed along my shoulder, pushing down the strap of my dress, letting it fall before repeating the process on the other side. The straps of my dress fell to the creases of my elbows, revealing my heaving breasts, the nipples erect and swollen.
He swiveled around, stumbling toward the bed. He dropped me on it and fell on top of me, causing us to bounce. I giggled and he allowed a chuckle of his own to escape before his lips captured mine again. He tugged my bottom lip into his mouth, sucking on it as his hands dipped under my body, moving slowly down my bare back till he reached the zipper of my dress that rested just above my ass.
I swear that I could feel every teeth separate as he pulled it down achingly slow. I raised my hips, leaning back on my elbows as his hands rose to claim my dress, discarding it once and for all.
I lay under his fully clothed body, wearing nothing but my jewelry and skimpy pair of lace panties. His eyes drank in my form hungrily and I had never felt more desired or beautiful. His tongue darted out of his mouth, caressing his full bottom lips as slid along the length of it before retreating back into its cove.
"Your beautiful," he murmured, and I felt tears well up in my eyes at his sincere declaration. I pulled his lips back down to mine before helping him divulge of his own clothes.
It wasn't long before we were both down to our underwear, my hands feeling the firm, sinewy muscles of his back as he hunched down over my clavicle, his nose skimming over the curve of my breast before his lips wrapped around my nipple, suckling it deeply.
I arched, throwing my head back into the pillows as my back bowed, offering him more, always more. His tongue flicked over the tight bud before he took it between his teeth, nipping it gently before blowing warm over my sensitive skin.
I was trembling, my pussy so wet and ready for him. "Please," I begged wantonly, and he continued on his journey, making his way down my stomach as his hands latched on my breasts, palming and cupping them as his tongue dipped into my navel, making me keen loudly.
He nipped the skin at the edge of my panties before lowering one hand to tug down the offending article of clothing. They had barely reached my knees before his mouth descended on my pussy, diving between my folds.
I cried out in pure pleasure as his tongue ran through my labia before circling my clit. My head thrashed from side to side as he lapped at me enthusiastically, sparing me no mercy.
"Lower," I instructed. "I want you to fuck me with it."
I had always been a little bossy in bed, knowing exactly what I wanted and not being afraid to ask for it. I knew some of my boyfriends hadn't liked that, but I was almost positive that Edward wouldn't mind a little bit of input.
I was proven right when he immediately followed my instruction, thrusting his tongue in and out of me as he rubbed my clit with the pad of his thumb. I could feel the scruff of his five o'clock shadow scraping against my thighs, but it only served to turn me on further.
My hands clawed at the sheets on either side of me as a sheen of perspiration creating a light layer on my skin. My thighs quivered as I neared my climax and I struggled to inhale a full breath.
"I'm close," I panted. "Focus on my clit."
He didn't hesitate in moving his mouth up while his finger took over the thrusting. They curled and twisted inside of me as he wrapped his lips around my clit, flicking his tongue over it as he sucked it.
Sparks rained through my body, shooting down my spine as he scraping his teeth over it and I let go, falling head first down the rabbit hole. I didn't hold back as I screamed his name, letting it fade into small moans as I slowly came down, collapsing back on the bed as he continued laving my pussy with attention.
I tugged on his hair when the sensation became a little too much, pulling him back up to me. I didn't mind tasting myself on his lips as my tongue stroked his and I let my hands trail down his body, feeling his muscles contract and twitch under my touch. I fingered the hem of his boxers nervously, knowing that this was it.
He pulled back, staring me directly in the eye as he placed a hand over mine and together we discarded of the final piece of clothing between us. Shadows danced over us as I ran my hand over his thick, long, hard length from base to tip.
My legs spread automatically as I took in his size, my body ready for the challenge of taking all of him into me. He wasn't huge, but I could tell just by feeling him that he was above average.
He groaned, reaching down and removing my hand before positioning himself between my legs, one hand guiding his cock. He held himself up by one hand, all the muscles in his body tense as he pressed the tip against my entrance.
"Protection?" he asked breathlessly.
"I trust you," I answered, knowing that he didn't have anything. He wouldn't have even contemplated bringing me into his bed if he had.
He thrust into me in one, smooth stroke, filling and stretching me to the hilt. I gasped, my muscles tensing as I got used to the intrusion before relaxing back into the bed.
"Move," I groaned out, and he lowered himself to his elbows, using them to hold his weight as I squeezed his hips between my thighs. He pulled back, leaving my body almost all together before sinking back into me. His thrusts were measured and sure as he moved inside me, his chest sliding against mine.
I lifted my hips to greet each thrust that he gave me, my arm wrapping themselves around his waist as my nails dug into his shoulders.
"Harder," I moaned and he intensified the force of his thrusts, his strokes no less measured but with more power. He grunted, his face a mask of pleasure as he moved inside me.
"Fuck! I need more," I panted. "Can you give me more?"
He let out a strained chuckle. "I can do one better," he informed me, pulling me tight against him as he rolled over, putting me on top. I squirmed, trying to get comfortable as he sat up, his hand gravitating to my hips.
"Move over me," he directed, his lips attacking my neck. I rocked and rolled my hips as I moved up and down his cock, taking him fully into my body every time I sunk down on him. I placed my hands on his shoulders for leverage, tilted my head to the side to give him more room as he sucked and licked the sensitive skin behind my ear.
I was able to control the rhythm and force from on top and I took advantage of that, grinding and twisting my hips to not only give me the highest amount of pleasure, but to give it to him also.
He threaded a hand through my hair, winding some strands around his hand before yanking it back so that I arched my chest further into him. I moaned as little dots of pain sparked from my scalp, adding to my arousal.
He buried his face between my breasts, his hot breath fanning out over my skin as he flexed his hip, thrusting up into me. His grip on my hair gradually loosened as he took my breast into his mouth, sucking and licking it and I used his momentary distraction to shove his shoulders back, pushing him to lie down.
I knew that by my own strength that I couldn't actually force him back, but he acquiescenced graciously, falling among the pillows as I leaned over his body. He cupped my ass in his hands as his hips rolled upward, helping me keep the rhythm as my swollen lips brushed against his.
The scent of sex hung thickly in the air around us as we breathed and panted into each other's mouths, our kisses wet and desperate. Our skin was slick with sweat as we moved seamlessly, each step of the dance older than time choreographed and played out in perfection.
He trailed one hand up the length of my spine, tapping on the protruding bones as if I was an instrument and he was the virtuoso. He stopped at my hairline before tapping his way back down my spine. I couldn't stop the shiver that ripped violently through me, the eroticism of his fingers sending pleasure into the pit of stomach.
It felt like he was everywhere all at once; inside me, around me, under me. I could feel the fire of our coupling licking at my skin, burning and branding me as it pushed down on my pelvis, driving me to the brink of impassioned insanity.
I cried out as he bit my jaw, his teeth sinking into my soft skin, my thighs squeezing his hips as I felt my body start tensing.
"So close," I murmured, sweat trickling down my back, causing wisps of my hair to stick to my skin. My eyelids fluttered and I sucked in a sharp breath, as he wasted no time in giving me extra stimulation by way of my clit.
I moved harder over him, wanting to milk out every last drop of this experience while I could. Who knew if this was just a one time thing or something more.
"Edward," I moaned, my skin tingling as every sensation and feeling seemed to intensify, building higher and higher until I was quivering, my body teetering back and forth on the ledge.
"Yes, please. More!" I babbled unintelligibly as he gripped my hips, slamming me down on his cock. I took over rubbing my clit as I rode him until my thighs burned and ached. I propped myself up on one hand, pushing my body to let go.
I bit my bottom lip hard, whimpering in frustration when it seemed apparent that my body was denying me the pleasure of cumming around Edward's cock.
My eyebrows furrowed in concentration as I rubbed my clit harder, knowing that he couldn't hold off much longer. I felt his hands slide from my hips back round to my ass, spreading my cheeks apart before brushing a finger around the rim of my puckered hole.
I jerked against him, my eye flashing open as my mouth fell in an 'o' of surprise. My body shuddered and convulsed as he put pressure on it, my orgasm enveloping me as I fell into it.
No one had ever touched me back there before and I was surprised by my reaction to it.
Heat flooded my body as I screamed out his name, uninhibited and unhinged. He came not long after me, my walls having collapsed around him, hugging his cock in choke hold.
He swore loudly, warm streams of cum filling my pussy as I collapsed against his chest, trying to suck a decent amount of oxygen into my lungs as I panted. I could hear his heart thumping wildly under my ear as we lay there, tremors still thrumming under my skin.
It was a few minutes before either one of us attempted to move, his spent cock slipping out of my body as his hands slid up from my ass, wrapping around my waist lightly. I shifted my body higher up his, crossing my arms on his chest and resting my chin on them so that I could look up at him.
He met my gaze, his dark eyes swirling with residual lust and that one question that I knew was reflected in mine.
My eyelids fluttered as he raised a hand to tuck a few stray strands of hair behind me ear, pausing as he fingered them.
"We probably should put some clothes on if we're going to have this long overdue conversation," he finally muttered. I pulled to face him, hating that he was right, but rolling off him and slipping off the bed, searching through the pile of clothes on the floor until I found his shirt.
I did up a couple of buttons, pushing up the too long sleeves until my hands were visible before climbing back on the bed, watching him as he pulled on his boxer briefs. He sighed as he sat back down on the bed, that same conflicted look in his eyes that had haunted him before. He seemed to be struggling with what to say so I decided to just lay my cards out.
"I'm a big girl, Edward. I can take whatever decision you make. I'm not going to pressure you into any kind of relationship that you feel you're not ready for. Whatever you decide I will accept," I told him honestly, gearing myself to what could potentially be a very painful conversation.
He nodded, still deep in thought. "What happens if we end this now?" he asked quietly, leaning his elbow on his knee while peeking up at me from beneath his eyelashes.
I swallowed, but squared my shoulders. "I'll go back to my room and we'll go back to how we used to be, or at least we'll try. I'll eventually move on and find someone who loves me as much as I loved you and tonight will become one of those secret moments where I'll sneak away and dream about you."
He slid a hand through his hair, slumping forward as his hair fell into his face. "Fuck! I can't do this, Belle."
It felt as if my heart had plummeted down into my stomach, but I kept a stoic mask on, not reacting to his words. I'd promised to accept his decision no matter how hard it would be. I squeezed my eyes shut tightly, fighting back the tears that threatened to well up in eyes.
When I felt some semblance of control over my body I stood up, walked silently around the room, picking up my dress and panties.
"I should go," I murmured, not looking back as I headed toward the door. I was so lost in my head, trying to hold myself together, that I didn't even realize that he had moved until the door that I had just opened, slammed closed, trapping me in between him and the door.
"I don't want you to leave," he breathed.
I twisted around to face him. "You can't have it both ways, Edward. You either want this or you don't. I won't be some dirty little secret that you're ashamed of! So if you would kindly let me leave with what is left of my dignity I would be thankful," I told him angrily.
"Wait," he growled, determination shining in his eyes. "I need to get this out first."
He took a deep breath. "Sometimes, I still see you as that little girl that needed me to kiss your boo-boos, all cherub faced with sparkling eyes," he murmured. "Its hard for me to reconcile the woman you've become with the girl you used to be. There are still little bits of her in you and your habits, but you've changed so much over the years, grown up. You're headstrong and so very stubborn. You know what you want and aren't afraid to go after it. You're so beautiful and smart, and yet you chose me of all people.
"I can't give you all of me because there are parts of me that even I don't know where they are, but fuck, I want to try. I'm old and I love my schedule, but maybe if we take this slow...You'll have to be patient with me on this. Don't doubt that I don't want you, but please recognize the fact that I've always seen you a certain way and while my actions tonight may have suggested otherwise, you are still that little girl to me."
I couldn't deny the sincerity that blazed in his eyes. He was trying to get me to understand things from his point of view and he was right, I did need to give him time to come to grips with everything. It wouldn't be fair of me-and I had promised not to-to pressure him into anything.
"Okay," I said, giving him a small smile. He let out a sigh of relief and leaned his forehead against mine.
"I know I don't tend to express myself very well, but please stay with me tonight. Let me hold you."
Any resistance or hesitancy melted with his words and I wrapped my arms around him, nodding. He guided us back to the bed, tucking us underneath the sheets. We lay facing each other, our legs tangled together, and our eyes never leaving each others.
There were still a lot of things that we still needed to talk about and discuss, but for the night, we just were.
He made love to me again, moving within me slowly as the sun started to rise over the horizon, signalling morning. The connection that we had forged that night was impenetrable and no matter what, I would be by his side because come storm, come winter, my love would neither dwindle nor be extinguished.
AN: Hope you liked it! Check out all the other Squeeze My Lemon O/s and review!