This story represents one of the biggest, meanest, nastiest plot bunnies ever to have been in creation. The very same plot bunny that sank it's teeth into me over two months ago and never let go. 1st chapter has a fair bit f movie rehashing but this will be the only full movie scene in the story.
This is my version of the good old "What if Metroman didnt 'die'" story. Could the flirting and pent up sexual tension ever have come to anything while Megamind was still the City's villain? Read on and find out...but beware... this is gonna be a doozy!
Her first thought as she drifted back into consciousness, was that the bag over her head smelled even worse than it had the last time. Almost as if he intentionally kept it in the most rancid place he could find, just to add to the amount of discomfort he was causing her. She sighed as the word struck a cord within her. Discomfort was about as far as it ever went, she hadn't been truly scared of him in a long time. She could admit to herself that she was intimidated by some of his inventions sometimes and she was often scared of being caught in the inevitable explosions that his inventions often resulted in, but she was not actually scared of him anymore. She would even go so far as to admit that she trusted him. The predictability that he so adamantly denied gave her a sense of security, she always knew what he was going to do and she knew that he would never intentionally hurt her.
Make her uncomfortable and absolutely furious, yes but he would never intentionality cause her physical harm. This particular revelation had come to her one night a couple of years in to their 'relationship' when she had woken up on her bed to find her wrists bandaged carefully. The burns and abrasions she had found around her wrists after removing the bandages had brought the memories crashing back. She had finally landed herself a date with someone who wasn't so caught up in the rumour about her and Metro Man and she had been waiting for him outside a movie theatre when she had been kidnapped once again. She had been furious and had struggled more than usual against the ropes that held her wrists causing the abrasive rope to cut into her delicate skin. She had not even been aware of the hurt she was causing herself until Megamind had gone pale and Minion had run off in a panic and presumably in search of a first aid kit. Megamind had quickly untied her and held her hands out in-front of her, the blood from the wounds on her wrists had soaked through the rope and had even begun to pool on the floor behind the chair. Megamind himself had bandaged her wrists and then Minion had used the knock-out spray on her. They had returned her to her apartment after apparently calling off whatever evil plan they had been about to unleash. They had left her alone for a few weeks after that. It had never been mentioned again.
Returning to the present she sighed in frustration as she willed a headache away and decided that she had had enough of listening to the sounds of Megamind and Minion's manic laughter.
"You two better get this bag off of my head rite now or so help me I will make you regret ever hearing my name!" She yelled as loud as she could without taking in too much of the rancid air that filled the bag. She knew from past experience that the bag muffled her words enough so that they could not tell what she was saying and vice versa. She could hear the sound of Megamind's voice, low and excited, as she was set down in the familiar metal chair with her arms positioned behind the chair's back. She could feel the bag stretch at the top of her head and she quickly put a confident smirk on her face and stared straight ahead at the spot where she knew he would be.
Minion pulled the bag from her head with a flourish and she once again praised herself for keeping her hair in the short pixie cut as she felt it fall back into perfect place.
"So Miss Ritchie, we meet again." Megamind said, his voice taking on the deep rumble that she often heard in the wine-induced dreams that she tried so hard to forget.
"Would it kill you to wash the bag?" She asked as she quirked up one eyebrow, tilting her face down a little so she could glare at him through her eyelashes. She smirked as she played the scene through her head, almost knowing exactly what he was going to say.
"You can scream all you want Miss Ritchie, I'm afraid no one can hear you!" He practically shouted as if he really was trying to be heard over screams of terror. Her smirk grew wider and her expression just a little more mocking as she blinked slowly at him, watching as his face dropped in disappointment. He always wanted to make her scream, it was like his personal mission. That fact had also been a part of many of her more disturbing dreams of late. She forced the memory out of her head and kept her expression still, willing herself not to show any of the blush that was threatening to stain her cheeks. She could not afford to loose that part of the game they were playing.
"Uh – Why isn't she screaming?" He asked Minion, a genuinely confused look on his face as he sat further forward in his big leather chair. It was amazing just how shocked he looked, as if he truly expected her to be recoiling in terror at the mere sight of him.
"Miss Ritchie, if you don't mind?" Minion placed his large metal hand softly on her shoulder causing her to glance up at him. Her mocking smirk slipped briefly into a genuine smile as she looked up at the strange fish. For the sidekick of a super-villain, Minion was incredibly sweet and courteous.
"Like this," Megamind said suddenly, pulling her attention back towards him as he let rip with a demonstration of the type of sound he was looking for, "but, that's a poor lady scream," he was about to say something else when the brainbot that had been resting in his lap suddenly clamped it's impressive jaws down on his wrist, ripping a full throated, blood curdling scream from his lips as he tried in vain to detach the mechanical creature.
"That's a little better." Roxanne said as she leaned forward in her seat, keeping her voice level against the laughter that was trying to bubble up through her throat. She didn't enjoy seeing him in such obvious pain but the irony of the whole situation was just about the funniest thing she had seen in a long time. She had to look away from him as he span round in his chair franticly, growling in pain, and found herself looking at the impressive array of instruments that had been installed around the room. "Is there some nerdy, super-villain website where you can get Tesla coils and blinky dials?"
She was genuinely curious and silently berated herself for ending her question so weakly. She had been a part of Megamind's schemes for so long she had learned a thing or two but to ask a question about 'blinky dials' was a little below her usual standard. She was relieved when neither Megamind nor Minion picked up on it and listened carefully as Minion started to explain.
"Actually, we get everything from an outlet store in-" Minion said helpfully, very pleased that there was a question he knew how to answer properly.
"Don't answer that!" Megamind cut him off, obviously trying to sound menacing but his tone of voice and the look on his face came across as panicked.
"Romania." Minion couldn't help but finish off in a whisper and yelped as his boss kicked himself, chair and all, towards the pair.
"Don't!" He yelled as he positioned himself in-between Minion and Roxanne, one of his legs touching hers as he edged closer. He refused to let the shock, that travelled from his knee and up his spine, show on his face as he leaned in towards her, studying her face carefully, "She is using her nosey reporter skills on your weak willed mind, to discover all of our secrets."
Minion gasped in horror as if the idea had truly never occurred to him. Roxanne glanced up at the fish but found herself almost instantly looking back into Megamind's eyes. She kept the mocking and amused smirk on her face as he leaned in even closer, bending his back so he was looking up at her. She drew in a deep breath and tried to focus on anything other than the strange little thrill that shot up her spine at his proximity. She was all too aware that their banter was becoming increasingly flirty and she told herself she only went along with it because it was amusing. He often took to circling her and looking her body up and down as he explained his latest nefarious scheme and every time it sent a shiver through her core that seemed to be growing in intensity. Now, as he leaned in, his face mere inches from hers and their legs touching slightly, she was almost forgetting how to breath. His eyes bore into hers and seemed to be searching for something as he looked up at her for a moment that seemed to stretch into an eternity. The sound of his voice, having dropped lower than she had ever heard it before, drew her out of her musings.
"Such tricks," his voice had taken on a husky note that very nearly pulled a blush onto her cheeks, "won't work," he circled behind her and she could feel his eyes raking up and down her body, taking in the tight red dress she was wearing, "on me," he raised one impeccable eyebrow at her as he leaned in closer with a smile.
"Temptress!" He hissed his closing remark in a way that very nearly made her melt on the spot. She cursed herself for the gasping breath his actions had caused and fought down the furious blush that was now fighting for attention.
"Wha- what secrets? You are sooo predictable!" She mentally rolled her eyes at herself as she yet again came out with an amazingly mature comment. She watched his face carefully and was very pleased to see that he had taken the bait and seemed to have taken offence to her comment.
"Predictable? Predictable!" His voice rose in pitch as his anger at her comment was replaced by the excitement of showing her how wrong she was, "You call this predictable?"
In a flurry of dramatic poses and lack-lustre exclamations he pulled lever after lever revealing a cacophony of sinister inventions which she put down with her sharp tongue one after another. Eventually Megamind collapsed in a physically exhausted and mentally drained heap, sighing with the hopelessness of his situation. He cursed himself for his inability to intimidate his victim and wondered where he was going wrong.
"The spider's new." Roxanne said with a chuckle as she watched the small black creature slide down it's sting of silk in-between her and the pouting Megamind.
"Spider?" He asked as he stood up and looked questioningly at Minion who simply shrugged, "er- yes! The... Speeider!" He was instantly back in super-villain mode and gestured in what he hoped was a sinister way as he crept towards her once again, "even the smallest bite from Arachnis Deathicus will instantly paralyse-"
Roxanne delicately puckered her lips and let out a puff of air which blew the spider towards the blue alien, landing with amazing accuracy on his eyeball. Minion was quick to respond by attempting to swipe the spider from his masters face, yet only seemed to manage to punch the writhing man to the floor. Roxanne was glad of the suddenly flurry of action as a rosy blush finally made it to her cheeks as a small part of her mind pointed out how it must have looked like she was blowing a kiss at her captor. She covered up her embarrassment by voicing a scathing put-down that was sure to hit its mark.
"Give it up Megamind, face it, your plans never work!" She poured a little more venom into her voice than was strictly necessary and she regretted it as soon as he got to his feet and looked at her with a genuinely hurt expression on his face. She frowned as she thought she saw tears in his eyes as he straightened his spine and steeled his resolve to the task at hand.
"Let's stop wasting time and call your boyfriend-in-tights, shall we?" He gestured with another dramatic flourish that was cut short by the same brainbot as before returning for a second taste of it's creator's blood as it clamped down on his hand once again. Megamind's scream echoed around the abandoned observatory causing the various contraptions suspended over her head to ring almost musically. Roxanne watched on with pained amusement as Minion griped the brainbot in his strong metal hands and pried the creatures jaws apart, replacing his master's free hand with a wrench that seemed to appease the agitated creation.
"Not that I'm not enjoying the show or anything but there is a party going on tonight you know, and I'm kind of expected to be there!" Roxanne huffed, focusing on her frustration once again.
"Ah yes!" Megamind said once he had regained his composure. He walked over to stand directly in front of her forcing her to look up at him or risk being accused of staring at his body, "Metroman day, how could I forget? You are the girlfriend of the guest of honour after all so of course you are expected to attend." the smirk on his face grew as he glared down at her, a superior expression on his face, "Well, I'm afraid I have some bad news for you Miss Ritchie." He left the comment hanging in the air as he turned and walked a few paces away from her. He looked over to Minion who nodded, a pleased smile on his face.
"Right away sir!" Minion said as he moved towards one of the control panels and pushed a few buttons, causing a large computer screen to blink into life. The brand new Metroman museum came into view and the sound of the crowd that had gathered echoed out of the hidden speakers. The crowd was chanting for their hero as the mayor did his best to work the crowd into a frenzy before introducing the immaculate hero. Roxanne rolled her eyes at the spectacle. It was every bit as cheesy and overstated as Metroman himself, and she actually found herself grateful to Megamind for putting some form of entertainment into her day.
With more of a build up than even Megamind could have accomplished, Metroman burst forth through a solid brick wall of perfectly white bricks, overconfident smirk in place and voice as condescending as ever. Roxanne let out an audible sigh as she watched her 'boyfriend' play up to the crowd. Some stereotypical Elvis Presley song was playing in the background and she found herself groaning in unison with Megamind as they watched the hero fly over the crowd, high-fiving his adoring fans before picking up 3 babies and juggling with them.
"How is he not being stopped?" Megamind asked, his voice rising in pitch as he watched the unbelievable show of arrogance, "If I even looked at a child I would be attacked by a horde of rampaging mothers in no time!"
"Well, that's because you are evil and he is everyone's hero. But even I have to agree with you, baby juggling? That one is a little too much!" Roxanne said as she watched the circus unfold on the monitor. Out of the corner of her eye she caught the look that Megamind was sending her and her cheeks coloured as she realised she had just openly agreed with him on something against Metroman.
"So, life with Metrosity's hero isn't everything it's cracked up to be, eh?" Megamind asked as he once again approached his restrained captive. He couldn't help the excited smirk that spread across his face.
"Like I would discuss my private life with you!" Roxanne snapped a little too harshly as the truth in his words hit home. His smirk grew even wider and she had a sinking feeling that he knew exactly what she was thinking.
"Wow, things must be bad for you to get so defensive!" He spoke quietly, his smirk not as arrogant and evil as she would have expected, "there really must be trouble in paradise."
"Oh what would you know?" She rolled here eyes and refused to meet his gaze. Thankfully Minion's voice cut through the tension as he alerted his boss to the time when their plan was to be set into motion.
"Very well, Minion. Send in the brainbots!" Megamind issued the order without taking his eyes off of Roxanne's form. Her head was turned away and her cheeks were coloured in embarrassment. These moments were rare, moments when he succeeded in breaking through her defences and found the real Roxanne Ritchie. The woman below the bravado of the nosey reporter. With more than a little regret he turned away from her and prepared himself for the theatrics to come.
Wayne Scott congratulated himself once again for being the man that all of the people in front of him looked to for their own personal safety. Becoming Metroman was the best decision he had ever made and despite the odd bout of frustration at the monotony of the job, he truly loved it. The crowd in front of him were going wild as he strutted around, giving them his very best heroic poses and generally making the most of the atmosphere. As the crowd reached it's peak and his favourite Elvis song came to a finale he was handed a golden microphone, reminding him of the speech he had prepared especially.
"Hey Metro City!" He gave them his very best pose teamed with a confident smile that showed off his perfect teeth. The crowd screamed it's adoration with renewed vigour and he even thought he heard a couple of the police officers firing their weapons into the air in celebration. A quick glance in their direction told him that they weren't actually from Metro City PD, probably from one of the southern states, he mentally shrugged it off and made a note to talk to them later about the dangers of discharging your weapon. He floated effortlessly into the air and hovered over the crowd as he asked the sound guys to turn the music down before addressing the crowd once again.
"Although getting a whole museum that's super cool is super cool, you wanna know what the real honour you've given me is? Do you really wanna know?" He asked as he hovered down towards the surface of the fountain and strolled casually on the surface of the water, "Letting me serve you, the helpless people of Metro City!" The crowd went wild once again and he smiled at them before waving a hand to quiet them down.
"And at the end of every day, I often ask myself, Who would I be without you?" He posed dramatically and smirked as a member of the crowd screamed at the top of his lungs that he loved the super hero, "And I love you random citizen!" With a laugh he crouched into a spin that whipped the fountain water up around him and blasted off into the sky with a dramatic splash.
Roxanne groaned at the spectacle and once again cursed herself for getting caught up in this whole situation. Why had she been so set on becoming a news reporter? If she had only chosen another career she would never have hunted Metroman down and convinced him to give her an exclusive interview. She had easily discovered his true identity and had been absolutely astounded that no one else in the city seemed to realise and had threatened to 'out' him if he didn't give her an exclusive interview. Everyone in the city had assumed that he had done so because she had agreed to be his girlfriend. Everyone including Megamind.
"How do you put up with that?" Megamind asked as he stared at the screen, even Minion seemed shocked at the display
"It's not as hard as you would think." She muttered, still unable to tear herself away from the broadcast, "Not that I'm bored or anything, but didn't you have some evil scheme in the mix?"
"Patience Miss Ritchie!" Megamind said as he smirked at her and gave her another one of those looks. She swore to herself that if she ever found the person who taught him to smoulder like that she would either kill them or shake their hand.
"The brainbots are in position Sir!" Minion said, a happy grin on his face as he turned back to the small computer screen in front of him.
"Show time!" Megamind said, the excitement clear in his voice as he as he span on his heel and strode over to where Minion was standing. He peered over the shoulder of the large gorilla suit and watched as Minion typed in the commands that instructed the brainbots to put Operation Observatory into action, "Places!" He yelled suddenly as he skipped over to stand on an x that had been painted on the floor. Minion began a countdown and Roxanne watched with a frown as the footage from the Museum ceremony suddenly began to darken as thick clouds billowed out from behind the tall building.
"Sir, you are on in 3...2..." Minion held up one finger as he mouthed the final number then pointed towards the camera as Megamind opened with an evil laugh. He leaned in close to the camera and a second image appeared on the screen in front of her displaying the footage of Megamind that was apparently being broadcast live tot he crowds at the Museum.
"Megamind!" Metro man said dramatically after Megamind had introduced himself and the crowed booed and hissed loudly. An appropriately outraged frown on his face as he swooped in closer to the Museum, "I should have known you'd crash the party!" The crowd cheered for their hero and booed the villain at the same time and Roxanne couldn't help but roll her eyes at the theatrics.
"Oh, I intend to do more than crash it!" Megamind was obviously very excited about this plan as he bounced on the balls of his feet, unable to contain the amount of energy ad adrenalin coursing through his veins, "This shall be a day that you, and Metrosity, shall not soon forget!" He leaned in to the camera dramatically.
"It's pronounced, " Metroman paused for effect with the theatrical accuracy of a professional actor, "Metro City!" The crowd went wild, apparently loving the way that Metroman said the name of their beloved city.
"Oooh potato, tomato, potato, tomato." Megamind pouted sarcastically. Roxanne was about to berate him for getting a cliché wrong but held her tongue as he obviously had some big reveal planned for her as she was not yet visible in the in the camera angle.
"We all know how this ends, with you behind bars!" Metro Man smiled as the crowd once again screamed in appreciation of their hero.
"You, will leave Metrosity," Megamind demanded before looking over his shoulder at her briefly, she took this as her cue and placed a bored expression on her face, "or today will be the last you ever hear of," He paused for effect, "Roxanne Ritchie!" He span the camera around to include her in the shot and gestured excitedly at her as if encouraging the crowd to notice the presence of his helpless victim.
"Roxanne!" Metro man gasped, once again Megamind had kidnapped the innocent woman and was putting her life in danger, the crowd fell into a shocked silence below him, "Don't panic Roxie, I'm on my way!"
"I'm not panicking!" Roxanne shouted as she smiled a tired smile at the camera.
"If you want to save her, you'll have to find us first!" Megamind said as he inspected his fingernails in front of him, obviously confident that the he would never be able to find the secret location. Roxanne smirked as she took in a deep breath, knowing she would have to be quick.
"Were at the abandoned observatory!" She yelled quickly, her words almost merging into one.
"Ah ha!" Metro man exclaimed as he blasted up into the air, the smoke swirling around him.
"Oh no! Were not! Don't listen to her she's crazy!" Megamind looked shocked and panicked as he dragged the camera back onto him and cut Roxanne off before she could do any more damage.
The live feed of Megamind cut out as Minion redirected the attention of the brainbots at the Museum. Roxanne frowned in annoyance, not quite believing how easy that had been, did Megamind honestly think that she would not have noticed they were in the old observatory? There was only one building in the entire city that had a domed roof like that. Something in the back of her mind was sounding off warning bells, telling her something was wrong but she just could not put her finger on what it was. She shrugged off the feeling figuring that she would find out what it was eventually.
"Face it Megamind, your plans never work!" She said, mainly just to break the silence and to remind the two boys that she was still there, tied to the chair.
"Metroman approaching Sir." Minion said with a badly disguised smirk as he taped the computer screen with the end of his pencil. Roxanne frowned a little harder, he almost sounded like that was what he wanted to happen.
"HA!" Roxanne snapped, pleased none-the-less that the hero was about to turn up and save the day once again.
"Ha HA!" Megamind countered, his eyes daring her to continue.
"Ha ha hah!" Roxanne forced a laugh, intent on having 'the last laugh'. Megamind had other ideas as he broke into a fit of excited cackling as he pulled a single lever that retracted all of the 'evil' inventions that had been poised to do her some serious harm. She wondered briefly why it had taken so much effort to reveal all of the inventions and yet only a single level to retract them all. She frowned slightly before Minion drew their attention back to the approaching hero. Roxanne turned her face towards the ground in the only move that she could use to protect herself from the debris that would inevitably shower down around her once Metroman made his entrance. The tension grew and grew until Roxanne realised that something should have happened by now.
"Over here Old Friend." Megamind's voice brought her back to reality as she looked up at the in-tact roof. Metroman appeared on the monitor in front of her once again, clearly confused by the whole situation. He was indeed in the old observatory, the destroyed telescope, which undoubtedly cost quite a substantial amount of money, lay in a crumpled heap off to one side.
"It looks as if you have fallen right into my trap!" The blue alien continued, a very smug expression on his face. Roxanne's mind reeled, wondering how he had managed to construct a fully sized replica of the observatory without anyone from the city noticing! She could see from the now opened viewing hatch that they were only just on the other side of the bay from the city and they were in full view of the real observatory.
"You can't trap justice!" Metro Man said as he struck a dramatic pose, quickly regaining his composure, "It's an idea, a belief!"
"Even the most heartfelt beliefs can be corroded over time." Megamind skulked around in front of the camera, loosing himself in their trademark 'witty banter'.
"Justice is a non-corrosive metal." Metro man was becoming more and more superior every second and Roxanne wondered briefly if he even knew what the word corrosive really meant.
"But metals can be melted with the heat of revange!" Megamind was really getting into it as he leaned in towards the camera.
"It's revenge and it's a dish best served cold!" Metro Man shouted, actually beginning to lose his temper.
"Yet it can easily be reheated in the microwave of evil!" Megamind gestured wildly as Roxanne groaned behind him, this was getting ridiculous.
"I think your warranty is about to expire!" Megamind shook his fist at the camera, clearly indicating his true meaning.
"Maybe I bought an extended warranty!" Megamind was now crawling on top of the computer console in order to loom into the camera just a little bit further.
"Warranties are invalid if you don't use the product for it's intended purpose!"
Roxanne groaned loudly and wondered how it was that she could be annoyed, bored and frustrated with one situation all at the same time. She decided that things were just become too silly and it was best for her to interrupt them before things went down hill even more.
"Girls, girls!" She began with a smirk, knowing how both of them would take it, "You're both pretty! Can I go home now?" She nodded with an excited grin, desperate just to go home and forget about this whole horrible ordeal. She knew the crowds at the Museum could still see them and she wanted nothing to do with this bizarre situation any longer.
"Of course," Megamind smiled as he looked over his shoulder at her before climbing down from the console and straightening his suit, "That is, if Metroman, can withstand the full, concentrated power of the SUN! FIRE!" He yelled as he pointed at Minion who was looking at the computer screen with a frown. After a few seconds of nothing happening Megamind stomped angrily over to the fish as hissed at him, "Minion, fire?"
"It's still warming up Sir." Minion stated as if it was no big deal.
"Warming up?" Megamind asked, his face as shocked more than ever, Roxanne resisted the urge to giggle and instead focused on feeling sorry for Minion who she knew was about to get into some real trouble, "The sun is warming up?"
"Just one second more..." Minion continued with a steady stream of phrases meant to indicate that the 'Death Ray' would be ready soon when Metroman's voice caught her attention.
"I'm on my way, Roxie!" With that he blasted up through the roof of the observatory and hovered in mid air, listening carefully and trying to figure out where Megamind was hiding.
"Why do you always blame me?" Minion was saying as Megamind held his head in his hands and grumbled about incompetent fish.
"Can somebody stamp my frequent kidnapping card?" Roxanne asked with a happy smile, knowing that any second now she would be scooped up by the hero and that Megamind would be going back to jail in record time.
"Ohhhohohohohoooo!" Megamind chuckled as he stalked towards her, "You of all people should know we discontinued that promotion! Chiao chiao all!" He waved to the camera behind him as Minion shook the can of Knock-out spray and held it up to her face.
The next thing she knew, she was lying on the sofa in her apartment, the evening news playing softly on the telly on the other side of the room. Megamind's photo was displayed on the screen above the caption "Megamind still at large."