Spoilers: Song spoilers for ep 7
Summary: Practicing 'Perfect'.
A/N: The title has a double meaning, but only if you're a physics/chem person. Anyway…still crying my eyes out, have listened to it a million times, have no slept very much at all. This is…a reaction fic, I get. I cried. What are my emotions today.
They've been practicing for hours. Which isn't out of the ordinary. When Blaine was given his big Katy Perry number Kurt has listened to him practice for six hours the night before. And that didn't even include the hour in the morning before school when they'd had each other on speakerphone as they got dressed and ate breakfast and eventually hung up only to see each other twenty minutes later at the school gates.
And now they have a proper duet. They hadn't been given it but they'd put their hands up and asked to do it and they want it to be perfect so in between eskimo kisses and snacking on carrot sticks and yawning, they keep practicing.
Eventually Blaine falls back against Kurt's bed, grinning at the ceiling and rubbing a hand over his stomach: "I think we're ready."
Kurt doesn't say anything, just sits down heavily near Blaine's hip and crunched into another carrot as he mulls over the song. It's after nine, they've skipped dinner—his dad had grumbled but allowed it. And an hour later, his dad had stood in the bedroom doorway and listened to them practice for a half an hour. He'd smiled and clapped silently and somehow it had been a moment between the three of them.
Because his dad had been watching Blaine just as much as he'd been watching Kurt.
Kurt fights back tears to remember the look in his eyes as he watched. It isn't the first time he's fought back tears that night. He leans back, scrambling to lie beside Blaine, on his side and snuggling up with his breath hot but slow against his boyfriend's neck.
He swallows. "How would you feel if I was singing it to you?"
Blaine angles his eyes down and his brow creases. "I'd feel incredibly special," he mumbles; he sounds sleepy. "And I'm sure she will, too."
Kurt's gaze flickers. "I mean…about you."
There is a quiet 'Oh' and when Kurt looks back up Blaine is staring at the ceiling again.
"You don't believe it, do you?" Kurt asks, kind of sad, kind of bemused. "That that's how I see you?"
There's a shrug and Blaine's arm has come up around Kurt's back, hand moving slowly over his shoulder.
"I always thought because I chased you, I'd be…" Kurt can't find the word and he's staying cautious: Blaine doesn't talk about this.
But Blaine smiles then, soft and he snuggles tighter in. "You know exactly who you are and you never question that. You never compromise."
Leaning up, Kurt presses a soft kiss to the underside of Blaine's jaw. "Not true."
Blaine chuckles and turns his mouth down, stealing another kiss. "Perfect though." His eyes take a moment to trace across his face and Kurt knows he's lying close enough to see his pores, the scar on the side of his neck, that pesky pimple near his temple, but Blaine's eyes stay wide and honest.
Blaine's about to speak but Kurt cuts across him, louder than the whispers they've been trading: "Don't."
Another soft laugh and Kurt can see him trying to shake the conversation off but needing to say his piece. Blaine continues: "I'm just saying I feel like the lucky one. I don't…"
Up on his elbow and leaning over him, Kurt has a hand across Blaine's cheek, steadying him and making him keep eye contact. "Sometimes you don't think you're good enough."
Again Blaine's eyes flicker away but Kurt's fingers stroke down across the roughness of his cheek and he looks back up with a lopsided smile and self-deprecation painted across his face. "I was brought up on a steady diet of not being good enough."
Kurt's heart breaks then because he's always known, there have always been hints and then they've talked about the facts: about Blaine's old school and his parents, the big family parties, his sister. They've talked about what Blaine's been taught and told for years but Blaine's never revealed that he believes it. Now, his eyes are wet and staring hard and Kurt can't keep looking because his chest aches and he's up and over and leaning down and he refuses to cry about this.
He kisses him, hard and slow and that hasn't stopped him crying at all and their cheeks are wet and pressing, slippery with quiet, shared tears.
Kurt pulls back and somehow, Blaine's never looked more beautiful. Then Blaine sniffles and Kurt feels his own lips curling into a smile in spite of himself. " Can I change your mind. One day?"
Blaine's own lips curve upwards and Kurt presses his face back into the smoothness of Blaine's neck, pulling him in close and breathing while Blaine nods and tells him, "Yeah, I think so. "