AN: Thank you so much for the reviews for my last story! I am so happy that people enjoyed it and I hope that you guys will like this one even though it's a little different. Enjoy!
Summary: Morgan questions if it's all worth it. Set after 7X1 "It Takes a Village" so spoilers for everything before and including that. Reid/Morgan. WARNING: a little dark
Disclaimer: I sadly do not own Criminal Minds or the characters that are portrayed in this story and I am not making any profit from this work.
There are some days when Morgan thinks that it's too much. This job, the world they live in, is so full of evil that it seems like he can't breathe. The things he has seen would cause many men to go insane and yet he keeps coming back day after day. He has watched so many good people die: friends, colleagues…and it never gets any easier.
He looks at the faces of his team and his chest clenches. The apparent death of Emily had almost destroyed him and the team, and he doesn't know if he could survive another one of his family dying. And yet, it seems as if this job is killing them slowly but just as definite as a bullet. Morgan has watched as the lines on Hotch's face have grown deeper, how the spark that made JJ eyes light up has grown dimmer, how the sarcasm that Rossi hides himself under has thickened, how Emily's friendly demeanor has become more and more hidden, how Garcia's quips and flirtatious comments have diminished. It makes his heart ache.
Then he looks to youngest of his team members and the one most important to him. Years ago, when Reid joined the team, he was so naïve and young it seemed as if he was a child with a play gun. Now, he is as proficient as any of them at shooting the firearm that is attached to his belt. Many people have said that the years have made him stronger. Morgan doesn't see it that way. There are some things that a person should never have to suffer through and Reid has had to suffer far more than he should in this lifetime. He has been kidnapped and tortured, has shot a man dead, has had to wrestle a drug addiction, and he has seen that his mind cannot protect him from everything…that indeed it may be the worse demon of them all. Morgan has watched as each incident has changed him, how each encounter has taken away the innocence that made Reid who he was.
The fear of his mind was always there but Derek has seen how this has grown to almost unbearable proportions. He has become more and more recluse in the recent months, his fear of insanity so great that he has withdrawn from everybody on the team, including Morgan.
Reid sits there reading his book; his body crouched in the chair making him seem even smaller than usual. Morgan turns his head away from the painful sight. He wishes there was something he could do. He wishes that he could take Reid in his arms and make it all okay. But that's not the world they live in and this is not the job that allows such sentiments. He gazes out the window and wonders how much this job will take from them, how long he will stand by and watch as his family withers away.
As they depart through the air from another set of dead bodies and another killer sitting in prison, he questions if every case has taken away something from him, from his team. And as he watches the clouds race by, he wonders if they will ever get it back.
AN: Any and all reviews are welcome and appreciated! Hope those of you that celebrate Thanksgiving had a great holiday! Tootles!