A/N: So... this is way late. I wanted to post like two weeks ago but it didn't happen. So just pretend you just watched 5x07 and want closure because of that. Because that is what this is.
Summary: "You still love me." His mouth curled into a cruel smirk. "Not everything is about you, Blair," he said. "I did what I did for me. I just like making you doubt yourself. But you figured that out all on your own."
Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me. The usual.
The nightmares were getting worse. No longer were they specific to black-and-white tones and nostalgia. Now they just involved storms. Wind howled, rain poured, and all she saw was him walking away from her.
Louis soothed her, but it was only after she had been awake for several moments, listening to a thick French accent did she realize she had never been dreaming about her fiancée at all.
Only when the door was locked and the water had been running for awhile did she allow herself to cry. She had cried for six days straight and she didn't seem to want to cease any time soon. She didn't understand what was causing it.
But her subconscious told her more than she could admit to herself.
"Are you insane?"
His husky confusion ignited something in her that she had felt a week before. It was fury that he would try and sabotage her. But upon looking at the now broken glassware she had just hurled at the wall, she was starting to wonder if he was right.
She was insane.
"What are you doing here?"
"You're a liar."
Chuck was looking at her with concerned eyes and it only infuriated her further.
"Yes," he finally answered.
Her mascara was newly applied and she commanded herself not to start crying in front of him. She couldn't do this.
"Now that we've got that covered—"
"Why are you doing this?"
Chuck looked at her doubtfully. "Doing what?"
"I'm agreeing with the truth," Chuck said. "I'm a liar."
"You don't even know what I'm talking about."
"Does it matter?" he asked.
"Why aren't you fighting?"
"That would be called delusion," Chuck answered. "I don't fight the truth."
"You worked so hard to make me doubt my decision and now you're just letting go."
Chuck shrugged. "That's why we never worked."
"What does that mean?" She couldn't keep the hurt from her voice. Watching him so apathetic and cold made her heart ache. She had told him that she would always love him. But it seemed as though something had changed for him.
"It means that you love strongly," Chuck said, "and I don't love enough. That was always clear from the beginning."
"You used to fight."
"You became too much trouble."
This time she couldn't stop it. She could put on a mask better than anyone, but the hurt was too real and she couldn't stop her face from betraying her.
"You made the right decision," Chuck said. "Go back to him. Move on. I know I have."
"No," Blair said, her voice cracking. "That wasn't what you were doing before."
"I was selfish then, I'm selfish now," Chuck said. "There really isn't a difference."
"You still love me."
His mouth curled into a cruel smirk.
"Not everything is about you, Blair," he said. "I did what I did for me. I just like making you doubt yourself. But you figured that out all on your own."
"You want me to doubt myself because you love me."
"Now, does that sound like what someone who loves another person would do?" he asked coldly. "Get out."
"What's keeping you here?" Chuck asked. "What even brought you here?"
"I know when you're planning something."
"Plan's been accomplished," Chuck said. "You were right. I just wanted one last taste."
"You don't manipulate me."
"Right," Chuck said. "You manipulate me. I must have forgotten what you do."
"I had to expose you," Blair said. "You were acting—"
"Fine?" Chuck asked. "I was acting fine without you and you hated it. You immediately thought I hadn't finished pining after you and still needed you so much."
"Stop," she said softly.
"What?" he asked. "You wanted the truth. Well here it is. You immediately thought I was up to something because I was acting so benevolent. But what you really need to ask yourself is, why did you immediately try to seduce me? Why did you jump to the conclusion that it was all about you when you were fine with letting me apologize to you a week ago? And while your loving fiancée is out of town no less."
"Don't you dare insinuate—"
"You wanted me to disrupt your happy engagement," Chuck said. "But you don't need me. You seem to be accomplishing that just fine on your own."
"I love him."
"But you were so afraid," he said softly. "You were so afraid that I was becoming good. I was making you question everything that you were going to base your life upon. What does that tell you?"
"That you're a good actor."
"Not half as good as you."
"Why are you here?" Chuck asked. "The slap you administered before conveyed your feelings towards me quite spectacularly. If you were coming here to insult me again, it was unnecessary."
"I want you to admit it."
"I already have," Chuck said. "What are you really here for?"
"It doesn't matter anymore, does it?" she asked. "Your feelings are perfectly clear."
"As are yours."
"You don't care about me anymore," Blair said. "You said you'd love me, but that doesn't mean you care."
"If I cared I wouldn't have selfishly tried to ruin your fairytale."
"You kissed me because you wanted to."
"But you didn't try to stop me from leaving."
"Why can't you just accept things as they are?" Chuck asked. "I brought you down. I made you doubt yourself. What are you still doing here?"
"Because I can't let this go."
"Because I can't believe it," she snapped. "I can't believe that you just don't care about anything anymore. You're supposed to—"
"Supposed to watch you forever?" Chuck asked. "Am I supposed to pine over you and watch you raise a royal brood while I just suffocate from loneliness? That's not me, Blair. And that's not fair. You can't have it both ways. You picked Louis. So stay with him."
"Because I still dream about you," she said helplessly. "I want to call them nightmares, but that's only because I see you walking farther and farther away."
"That shouldn't be a nightmare," Chuck said. "That's freeing yourself of one."
"Then why does it feel this way?" Blair asked. "Watching you be a humanitarian and an advocate for animals' wellbeing. You becoming a good person and I'm still scheming and conniving."
"I thought you were sure that I'm just as bad as I was before," Chuck said darkly.
"Why would you doubt that?" Chuck asked. "Why would you come into my house—"
"You haven't answered the question," Blair said, feeling doubt. "Chuck—"
"I told you to leave," Chuck said. "I would have thought that you'd be more than pleased to oblige."
"Why aren't you answering the question?" Blair asked.
"Why are you asking it at all?" Chuck asked. "You know the truth now. You got what you came for."
"I came for closure," Blair said. "I never thought that things would be different than I originally thought. But now you're acting-"
"Don't over think it."
"I was just wondering." she said. "What did you do, Chuck?"
"What do you mean what did I do?" he asked roughly. "I kissed you. You slapped me. We're done."
"Why did you do it?"
"We've been over this."
"Why did you really kiss me?"
"Because I wanted it," Chuck snapped. "I want you so badly."
"What?" Blair asked softly.
"Do you really think all of that can change just because you want it to?" Chuck asked. "Even when I wanted it to. It's not a switch. I can't just turn it off."
"Neither can I," she protested. "Why did you lie to me?"
"I never lied."
"You're lying now," Blair said. "You kissed me because you wanted to."
"That's the truth."
"Maybe it is," she said. "But that's not the real reason. What's the reason that you let me go so easily? Why were you relived when I left?"
"Because you could finally let go," he said. "I made you doubt yourself but that wasn't my intention. I apologized because it was a long time coming. I owed you that much after everything I'd done. But I didn't do it to get you back. You wanted closure. There it is."
"You kissed me," Blair said, "so I would think you were still selfish."
"You can go now," he said darkly, turning away. "If you'll excuse me, I have to call someone about that tumbler you threw at my head."
"Why would you do that?"
"Because there's glass everywhere and I don't want to cut myself."
"No," Blair said in frustration. "Why would you want to let me go?"
"I can't talk about this anymore, Blair," he said. "We've been over this. I let you go once. It's too much to keep doing it again."
"Because you deserve better," he said. "Someone who can make you happy."
"But I'm not happy."
He froze. "Stop."
"Don't you dare say that to me," Chuck said. "After everything that's happened, don't you dare try and tell me that your prince isn't making you happy."
"I'm sorry," she said. "But you're right. I can't just turn it off."
"Well you have to," Chuck said. "Do you know what I've been through?"
"We've all been through a lot."
"I mean now," Chuck said. "Maybe I don't deserve it, but I need to think about myself right now. And you telling me how you're doubting yourself is not helping me."
"I want to stay."
"Then you are making things very difficult for me," Chuck said honestly. "Things are so much more complicated now. It isn't like it used to be. You can't just evict a lord because he did something to upset you. This is marriage. It's sacrosanct."
"You really think that," Blair acknowledged with a smile.
"What is it going to take," Chuck said gruffly, his hands wrapping around her arms, "to get you to leave right now?"
"Do I have to hurt you?" Chuck asked, his grip tightening. "Is that it? Will you run again? If I punch that window again, will you run back to your prince and never look back? For good?"
He pushed her away.
"Nothing has changed," he said. "There's nothing between us."
"If that were true," she said, "none of this would have happened."
"Why is it that I can't hurt you when I want, and when I don't want to, I eviscerate you."
"You don't want to hurt me," Blair said. "I've never known anyone to be as selfless as you're being right now."
"We can't just fall back," he said. "It's too late. You're committed."
"Things will change again."
"And you believe that?" he sneered.
"If two people are meant to be together, eventually they'll find their way back."
"Don't," he warned her. "Don't even—"
"I love you, Chuck Bass," Blair said. "I'll never stop dreaming about you."
She was finally doing as he had requested. She turned on her heel, striding right into the elevator.
"I don't want that," Chuck said. "I don't want your love."
"Well you've got it."
"It belongs to someone else."
The elevator doors closed. Glass crunched as he walked over it to the wet bar, followed by the sound of another breaking tumbler.