A/N: A very, very silly fic. Enjoy.
"Maura, I don't see why I have to be Xena." Jane complained as she fidgeted with her breastplate. A breastplate that was much too big on her, she might add. She awkwardly crossed her legs as she felt a draft go up in places it never dared to before. She pulled the slip down more, before readjusting her arm braces for the ten millionth time. How in the world was anyone supposed to fight crime in this thing?
"I already told you earlier, in terms of height, your stature is much better in terms of accurately portraying the characters." Maura, for her part, was wearing something that vaguely resembled a cloth sports bra, as well as a wrap around skirt. Both of which showed off her toned body rather nicely in fact, but Jane managed to force her eyes up. Most of the time.
"We don't need to accurately portray the characters, Maura! This is a Halloween party, not a nation-wide costume…accuracy contest!"
Maura pursed her lips.
"A Halloween party in which I've won the costume contest four consecutive years in a row." Without warning, and before Jane could say anything else, Maura placed a finger on Jane's lips.
"And I plan on keeping my crown." Her eyes seemed to challenge Jane, and her finger lingered for a very long, excruciating moment before Jane nodded and she finally pulled away.
Damn sports bra.
"…Although it's not an actual crown, of course. A crown would look completely ridiculous for this time period, considering the television show takes place in a faux-Greece circa 1300 BCE-"
"Alright, alright I get it. Geez." She readjusted her breastplate one more time before checking in the mirror one last time. She glanced at herself, then at Maura, when a thought struck her suddenly. Weren't Xena and Gabrielle supposed to be...?
She gulped a bit.
"Y'know…" She said carefully. "I hope this doesn't make any of the team question our relationship."
Maura turned to her and cocked her head.
"They already do. Didn't you know? They've even started a betting pool on when we're going to resolve our apparent sexual tension and make it official."
Seeing Jane's shocked face, Maura grinned and poked her breastplate. "Jane, you really can be oblivious. Come on, we're going to be late."
Jane didn't know what else to do except follow her, and possibly plan someone's untimely death, probably at this rate by chakred, or whatever that round killing thing was.