Okay~! So this idea came to me somewhat randomly as I was listening to the musical 'Avenue Q' a few days ago and reading a glee fic...Okay, so hindsight- not so random- but whatever. I hope that you all like what you read and yes, it will have a sequel. The sequel will be themed for 'Ave. Q' as well. I'm just not sure what song I'll use.

Okie-dokie then! On with the disclaimers and shtuffses!

Warning: Rated M for language use. -snickers a bit-

Word Count: 2,093

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the story line and actions of le characters. I don't even own the idea. It came from the song and another fic.

Summary: Schuester decides to use Avenue Q as the spring musical and Kurt and Puck both use Schadenfreude as their audition piece and so Schuester has them audition together to save time.

And so here we are, Ladies and Gentlemen, without further ado, I give you~ SCHADENFREUDE!


He lifted the red marker to the white board and in big bright letters William Schuester wrote 'AVENUE Q' upon its blank surface.

"Mister Schue, what's 'Avenue Q'?"

"Avenue Q is a musical in two acts, part flesh and part felt; it's a satirical look at the encounters one deals with in the real world, Finn." It was Kurt Hummel that answered enthusiastically before the teacher had a chance to.

"Yes, thank you Kurt." He admonished without an ounce of heat to the words.

"Sorry, Mister Schue, it's one of my favorites." This seemed to surprise the glee instructor.

"Really? You rate 'Avenue Q' up there with the likes of 'RENT', 'Evita', or say, 'Gypse'?" He had to go and name off two of Patty Lupone's didn't he?

"Yes, in my list of favorites I do. I especially like 'There's a fine, fine line' and 'It sucks to be me' among others in the score."

"Okay, that's nice, but what does a puppet musical have to do with glee club Mister Schue?" Demanded Santana as she was still as clueless as the rest of the class.

"Right. Sorry." William chuckled a bit and shook his head, "I've already gotten the permission from Figgins so here it is." He paused for a moment and took a breath, "'Avenue Q' is going to be our musical." This got varied responses. Several students shared Kurt's enthusiasm while others were a bit confused and had not heard of the musical before now.

Only one student had a problem with the whole thing entirely.

"Mister Schuester, while I appreciate your need for variety in out musical endeavors, I feel that I must object to this musical choice." Several groans echoed around the bleachers but Rachel Berry continued on as if she hadn't heard them- per usual. "I believe we should look at other options, like those of Evita, or even RENT. They would be far better in displaying the wide ranges of talent each of our distinct voices have to offer musically."

Was Rachel Michelle Berry actually admitting that she wasn't the only talented voice in the club? Holy shit! Someone pinch him, Kurt had to be dreaming.

"While I would normally agree with you Rachel, this is second semester. We've already done our main musical. Principle Figgins- bless him- loves 'Avenue Q' immensely, and this was chosen for each of us to have a bit of fun." Will contradicted her and then grinned a bit, "And this is still a way to display vocal talent. There are some characters that you all would have to alter your voices for."

"Like Rod, Nicky, Trekkie, Christmas Eve…" Kurt began to rattle off and got several stares to which he sunk into his chair slightly with a near embarrassed grin, "just to name a few…"

"Exactly, and the musical score is awash with all opportunities to showcase musical talent. So, sorry to bust your bubble, Miss Berry, but we're doin' this."

He called silence to the room when several cheers went up around the room, "Alright, alright, listen everyone, this is gonna be done the same way it always is for musicals. To get a part you have to audition for it." He smirked a bit, "To help up out we'll have Shelby and Principle Figgins as well- since he's seen it five times and the Trouble Tones will be allowed to join in on the fun." The mention of the Trouble Tones got more giggles and cheers that caused Will to call to order. "Alright, I have copies of the soundtrack for those that haven't heard it before, and even those that have and would like a copy." Schue held up a CD and then placed it back upon the stack on the piano.

"Alright everyone, grab a copy and pick your song." At his words the whole group moved en mass to the piano- save Kurt, Santana, and Puck; they pulled out iPods- to grab their music.

Within fifteen minutes of everyone having their music, the Trouble Tones had arrived listening to their copies of the music, Shelby and Principle Figgins arrived, and Kurt already had his audition piece picked out. Maybe he could get Finn to help him with it, maybe be Nicky in the piece so he could audition for Gary? With a shrug he got up and walked over to where Mister Schue was sitting talking to Puck who had also apparently picked his piece as well.

"Sounds good Puck. What can I help you with Mister Hummel?" the instructor asked happily as Kurt walked up.

"I've figured out what piece I want to audition with and which character I want to go in for."

"Let me guess, Rod?" Puck asked with a smirk.

"Nope. Gary Coleman." He countered with a happy grin to which Puckerman answered with a slight pout and Will a snicker.

"Okay, what song, Kurt?"

"Schadenfreude!" Was his happy and simple reply.

"Oh good, then you too can audition together first thing tomorrow since Puck wants to go in for Nicky and the same song. Make sure you practice hard and ready to go tomorrow."

With that said he dismissed everyone with the same comment and a wish of luck in getting the parts they wanted.

Kurt had been listening to the song the entire day and couldn't help the grin that came across his face every time that he saw someone seeming to have a bad day. The song was right. Everybody does it!

As he got to Glee Club- they were in the auditorium today- he made his way up to the stage where it seemed everyone was congregated and chatting away.

"Hey White Boy~" Came Mercedes' greeting as he took a stand between him and Santana who was softly singing what sounded to Kurt like, 'There's a fine, fine line.' "What part are you auditioning for?" The way she asked it made it seem as if she knew it'd be Rod but as much as Kurt loved 'Cedes he loved busting her bubble.

"Gary Coleman. I'm going up with Noah and we're using 'Schadenfreude!' as our audition piece." He gave her a bright smile as Schue called the group to order and asked everyone to take a seat for the first audition.

On stage Puck placed a stool center stage and sat upon it looking rather dejected and forlorn. The music started and Kurt walked up to his left side.

KURT:
Right now you are down and out and feeling really crappy

He placed a hand on Noah's shoulder and looked at him a bit sympathetically.

NOAH:
I'll say.

Noah looked at Kurt and snorted slightly with a sad nod.

KURT:
And when I see how sad you are

Kurt walked slowly around behind the Mohawked male his fingers trailing along Puck's shoulder blades as he sang.

It sort of makes me...

Kurt paused here with a slight sadistic grin before continuing.

Happy!

NOAH:
Happy?

The Jewish male looked at the brunette in complete shock now, eyes wide and jaw slack.

KURT:
Sorry, Noah, human nature-
Nothing I can do!

Kurt shrugged here with his hands up some.

It's...
Schadenfreude!
Making me feel glad that I'm not you.

He placed a hand on the slightly taller's right shoulder now and laughed near sadistically.

NOAH:
Well that's not very nice, Kurt!

Noah looked rather crestfallen again and even more dejected than before.

KURT:
I didn't say it was nice! But everybody does it!

As if that was all the explanation that was needed here.

D'ja ever clap when a waitress falls and drops a tray of glasses?

NOAH:
Yeah...

Noah nodded slowly as Kurt nodded enthusiastically with him and went on.

KURT:
And ain't it fun to watch figure skaters falling on their asses?

NOAH:
Sure!

He answered enthusiastically with a dark grin.

KURT:
And don'tcha feel all warm and cozy,
Watching people out in the rain!

Kurt mimed being wrapped in a warm blanket here as Noah nodded again.

NOAH:
You bet!

Kurt put his arm around Noah's shoulders and Noah slipped one around the lithe male's waist as they continued on.

KURT:
That's...

BOTH:
Schadenfreude!

KURT:
People taking pleasure in your pain!

Noah leaned back slightly to look at Kurt now;

NOAH:
Oh, Schadenfreude, huh?
What's that, some kinda Nazi word?

Kurt snickered a bit and nodded;

KURT:
Yup! It's German for "happiness at the misfortune of others!"

A bright and sadistic grin crossed his lips then as Noah seemed to think about that answer.

NOAH:
"Happiness at the misfortune of others." That is German!

He leveled a bland look at the male diva who returned with an innocent look of feigned ignorance.

Watching avegetarianbeing told she just ate chicken

Noah sent a look out to the audience in Rachel's direction causing the rest of the glee club to laugh.

KURT:
Or watching a frat boy realize just what he put his dick in!

Kurt's line was thrown in Finn's direction with another laugh from the Glee club.

NOAH:
Being on the elevator when somebody shouts "Hold the door!"

Both males look to one another as they reach the next line;

BOTH:
"No!"
Schadenfreude!

Kurt looked out into the audience with a dark scowl and a growled out the next line;

KURT:
"Fuck you lady, that's what stairs are for!"

Noah had to laugh just then because Kurt looking and sounding like that was awesome! That and kind of hot, but that was for another time.

NOAH:
Ooh, how about...
Straight-A students getting Bs?

He smirked at Kurt now who smacked the back of his head;

KURT:
Exes getting STDs!

He glanced out to Blaine in the audience who had enough sense to look ashamed and apologetic.

Noah filed that look and reaction away for later as he continued on;

NOAH:
Waking doormen from their naps!

KURT:
Watching tourists reading maps!

NOAH:
Football players getting tackled!

With each line they got a bit louder yet managed to keep the tune and tone of the song.

KURT:
CEOs getting shackled!

Noah could have sworn Kurt cackled just then;

NOAH:
Watching actors never reach

BOTH:
The ending of their oscar speech!

They looked to one another now with identical sadistic grins

Schadenfreude!
Schadenfreude!
Schadenfreude!
Schadenfreude!

Kurt stepped away from Noah who let his arm drop to his lap and watched Kurt as he moved to the forefront of the stage as he sang calmly with his hands clasped together in front of himself;

KURT:
The world needs people like you and me who've been knocked around by fate.
'Cause when people see us, they don't want to be us, and that makes them feel great.

Noah stood from the stool and walked up to stand just off center and behind the male diva;

NOAH:
Sure!
We provide a vital service to society!

Kurt turned slightly to look over his shoulder at the slightly taller male;

BOTH:
You and me!
Schadenfreude!

They stood now; mimicking the way they had been when Noah had been sitting;

Making the world a better place...
Making the world a better place...
Making the world a better place...
To be!

Noah let go of Kurt and made his way off stage while Kurt finished off the song with a rolling cackle only Kurt could do;

KURT:
S-C-H-A-D-E-N-F-R-E-U-D-E!

As they finished the song the rest of glee club gave them a standing ovation with roaring laughter and giggles.

"That was amazing you guys! The entire time I actually believed that you two felt what you were singing." Mister Schuester called from his place at the judging table with Shelby and Figgins.

"I agree! Guys, that was wonderful. And Kurt you looked absolutely sadistic through several parts of the song." Shelby chuckled as Kurt did a half bow half curtsy thing. "And Noah, you really looked as if you were amazed that Kurt would say such a thing when you felt bad. You two are amazing actors!"

Both males smirked slightly at the commendations and bowed their heads to her in thanks.

"I feel that you two did the song absolute justice and played both parts very well- even throwing your own quirks into it," This was the most enthusiastic anyone had ever heard Principle Figgins, "It was well sung and beautifully acted. I applaud you both." And so saying he started clapping for them again which got everyone else clapping again as well.

Kurt couldn't help the giggle that escaped him as he skipped off stage to join his fellow gleeks in the audience.


A/N: Okay ladies and gents~ What did ya think? Would you read the sequel? Yay or nay? Clicky that little blue-ish link below and please tell me about it~
And yes, Schadenfreude is a real German word. Amazingly my MSO Word knew the word and I didn't have to add it the dictionary. XD