Warnings/Kinks: Watersports, shower sex.

AN: This fic wouldn't be finished without the help from my beta, bornpirate! Thank you, hon!


Dave turned on the water and directed the shower head at Kurt's belly, washing off the sperm dripping down his groin and thighs. He then stepped out of the shower to grab a towel and began unceremoniously wiping the water off his body, chafing his skin and hair fiercely in the process.

Kurt gave him a look fraught with disapproval, and Dave just rolled his eyes in return.

Kurt slipped a robe over his shoulders before taking his hairdryer out of a drawer and setting it on the bathroom counter. His fingers hovered over various hair-care bottles as he wondered how to style his hair. At the sound of the toilet seat being raised up, he turned around to see Dave standing astride over the bowl.

Kurt cleared his throat.

"What?" Dave threw over his shoulder.

"Um, so, I'll go out, I guess."

Dave turned around and raised an eyebrow. Kurt was so prudish when it came to intimacy.

"You know, considering the places your tongue has been on my body, one would think taking a piss in your presence wouldn't be that extreme."

He chuckled at Kurt's blush.

"You don't have to be crude just to tell me to stay."

"Unless my goal is to embarrass you."

Kurt rolled his eyes and reached for a comb.

Dave took his cock in one hand and directed it to the toilet, letting the yellow stream shoot out of the slit and splash onto the wall of the bowl. When he finished, Dave sighed in relief and flushed the toilet, turning around to face the other man.

Kurt just stared, the hand holding his comb frozen in mid-air.

Dave's eyes slid down the man's body, and he gasped in surprise at the sight of Kurt's semi-erect cock.

The noise seemed to snap the other man out of his trance. Kurt looked around, flustered, and dropped the comb back inside the drawer before quickly walking out of the bathroom, mumbling something about a coffee.

Interesting, Dave thought.


As Dave turned a page of the newspaper, his eyes landed on an article about a new neurological discovery.

About 20 hours had passed since the incident in the bathroom. Kurt hid behind excuses like "Dave, it's nothing," and "I'm tired". After being together for years, Dave learned that "nothing" in Hummel-ish actually meant "something".

He looked over at the man on the sofa. Kurt was scratching something furiously in his notebook, most likely a new wedding dress design.

Dave glanced down at the columns of words in front of him. He could just read a damn article and forget about awkwardness between him and Kurt.

Sighing, Dave eventually folded the paper. He stared at it, putting his thoughts together before speaking. "So. Last night. In the shower."

Kurt's pencil stopped for a split second, but then he returned to drafting whatever he was working on.

"I assume we don't want to talk about it?"

Kurt shifted on the sofa, his eyes still glued on the notebook before him. "I don't see anything to talk about."

Dave frowned. Kurt resumed scratching, ignoring the questions hanging in the air between them.

Dave took a sip from his mug and savored the bitter taste of coffee for a moment before swallowing. "Hmm... how about this: why did you get turned on by watching me piss?"

The pencil slipped from Kurt's fingers and fell on the floor. Kurt reached for it quickly and picked it up before resuming his drawing, the motion of his hand constrained and calmer now. "I wasn't aroused...," he said under his breath.

Dave scoffed at that. "Oh please, Fancy. Last time I saw that expression on your face was when you spotted those red Doc Martel shoes on sale."

Kurt glared at him. "It's Doc Martens. Honestly, David... After all these years one would think at least one name of a designer went through your thick skull."

Dave's eyebrows shot high in mock surprise. "Oh my. That brand name isn't a baseball reference? My whole life has been a lie."

Kurt let his lips quirk in small smile. "It may be a shocking revelation for you, but not everything is related to sports."

Dave glanced at him, amused. The tip of his tongue slid over his bottom lip and rested in the edge of his mouth for a moment. "Don't deride from the question. What's up with the pee?"

Kurt gave him a cold look and put the notebook down. "Screw you, Karofsky."

Dave leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms in front of him with a smirk. "It's Karofsky- Hummel now, actually". He grinned and then abruptly jumped forward to dodge a pencil thrown at him, nearly spilling his coffee in the process. "Oh, that was very mature," he said smoothly.

Whatever retort that was hanging at the tip of Kurt's tongue died. Kurt felt defeated. Caught.

Dave stood up and closed the distance between them. Sitting next to his husband, he took the notebook from his lap. "What's that for?" he asked.

Kurt winced. "She insisted that the main theme should be a combination of willow-green and purple. I'm trying to figure how to blend the two colors in the decorations and still be able to look at myself in the mirror."

Dave chuckled. "I suppose they don't go together?"

Kurt growled. "Remind me, why did I marry you?"

Dave became serious again. He placed his hand over Kurt's and gave it a little squeeze.

Kurt's eyes were focused on the small table before them. "I've been thinking," Kurt said to the object. "I'd like to try something... new." He glanced at Dave warily. "New in a, um, sexual way."

Dave wiggled his eyebrow at him. "And what's that?"

Kurt adverted his eyes, his cheeks burning. Dave held his chin and forced him to look him in the eyes. Kurt pulled out and sighed. "It's not about the leather and handcuffs you're imagining right now."

"No," Dave said. "It has something to do with pissing."

Kurt bowed his head. "Look, we don't have to come back to it, okay? Let's just move on and..."

"I'm in," Dave said simply.

Kurt's eyes snapped up. "You... what?"

"You were seriously ashamed of telling me this?"

"How was I supposed to know how you'd react...? I don't know your limits."

"Dude. I let you put me through a marathon of chick flicks last week. Didn't that count for anything? I thought it set high standards."

"Are you making fun of my taste again?"

Dave grinned. "I wouldn't dare."

Kurt huffed in annoyance.

They sat in silence for a while. Kurt snuggled up against Dave's side and wrapped an arm around his waist, and Dave rested his cheek on the top of Kurt's head.

"Have you thought about something specific?"


Kurt's hands landed on Dave's torso the moment they stepped into the shower. He threaded his fingers through thick dark hair, creating a pattern across his chest. His fingers circled nipples and grazed over collarbones.

Dave smiled at the focused look on his husband's face. He'll probably never understand this man's fixation about his chest, much less about other things that fascinate him.

Dave spent most of high school trying to solve the mystery that was Kurt Hummel, only to find out more about himself in the process. They'd been together for a while now, and yet Kurt still managed to surprise him every now and then, showing glimpses of a side of him that Dave didn't even know existed.

Sometimes, Dave will think of Kurt as a 1000-piece puzzle, hard to put together because of the many fragments and the peculiar picture on a box. Sometimes, Dave will think there's no way two particular pieces could fit together. And when they do, he'll just marvel at how he didn't see it before.

Dave turned on the water, letting the cool stream hit his body. He shivered and pushed Kurt to the opposite wall, wrapping his arms around the smaller man and shielding him from the sharp bits of water.

Kurt's hands made their way to Dave's neck and pulled him down. They kissed slowly, Kurt's tongue skillfully teasing Dave's before licking over Dave's bottom lip and sucking on it. Dave's tongue slid past Kurt's, and they both moaned at the contact.

Dave's thigh involuntarily pushed between Kurt's legs, and his hands fell down to rest on the man's hips.

Meanwhile, the water began to get warm.

Kurt reached for a sponge, and Dave squirted generous amount of shower gel on it, squishing it in his hand until the foam showed up. He slid it around Kurt's neck, down his breastbone, and then back up to rub at his shoulders. Kurt closed his eyes under the simple pleasure of the touch and splayed his hands on Dave's breasts, massaging the man's broad chest.

They washed each other without any rush, stopping once in a while to kiss. The shower doors fogged over, sheltering them from the world.

Finally, Kurt turned the water off and glanced at Dave nervously. He bit his lip, knowing what was coming next.

Dave was... Dave. Sweetly accepting and loving despite... anything. Dave tried to understand. Kurt knew he tried. He was determined to fulfill this fantasy whether he shared it or not, and it scared Kurt.

He wanted Dave to enjoy it as much as he was going to, not to run away in disgust when the reality of the situation turns out to be too much for him to handle.

Dave's knuckles caressed his left cheek, pulling him out of his thoughts. Dave smiled and just nodded. He picked up the bottle of lube from a shelf and popped it open, covering his fingers in it.

Kurt rested his forehead on the wall as Dave leaned in and brushed his lips along Kurt's shoulder. Soon the man felt the familiar wet pressure on his hole and took a deep breath to relax.

His bladder was full, and the recently falling water made him greatly aware of it.

The finger entered him and wiggled shallowly in the tight passage. Dave began to stretch him meticulously, alternating between scissoring his fingers inside and rubbing them over the ring of muscles.

"I'm ready," Kurt said at some point.

Dave grabbed Kurt's hips and pushed into him. He started thrusting, slowly at first, but then picked up the pace. One of his hands slid forward and rested on the slight bulge of Kurt's abdomen, causing the man to gasp.

He was already too aroused to relieve himself. The tension was caged inside of him, ready to burst out at any possible second.

Dave knew what was going on, and he added to Kurt's torture, simultaneously slamming into him from behind and pressing an arm to his abdomen. Kurt's head fell onto Dave's shoulder and rested there.

A crimson blush began to color his face and neck - an unmistakable sign he's near climaxing.

Dave withdrew and turned him around. The cold tiles hit Kurt's back, somewhat cooling the fever within him. Dave wrapped one hand around Kurt's cock and rested the other hand next to his head. Kurt's eyes were closed tightly, his breath coming in jerky gasps. Dave pumped him knowingly - up and down, a small squeeze at the base, palm moving across the head.

Kurt felt the tension in his abdomen mixing up with his arousal. His insides were burning. Feeling light-headed, he desperately grabbed at Dave's shoulders. He felt Dave's lips on his ear, and the words "Babe, let go for me" hit his skin in a hot breath.

Something inside him unclenched, and he exploded with a scream. His knees gave up, but Dave caught him and pressed him against the wall with his body. Dave kept the tight grip on Kurt's dick, milking him to the last drop.

Kurt breathed heavily, completely spent as his cock softened and shrank quickly in Dave's hand. No longer captured by an erection, the urine shot forcefully out from Kurt's cock and onto Dave's groin, and he aimed the hot stream up and down the length of Dave's shaft.

Dave gasped at the sensation. Wrapping a hand around himself, be began jerking off frantically.

Kurt grabbed his neck and smashed their lips together as the yellow liquid trickled between their linked bodies and mingled with Dave's release.

Afterwards, they panted harshly into each others necks as the mild smell of urine and sperm lingered in the air. Dave eventually turned around to turn the water on.

Kurt searched for his eyes, unsure of what he'd find in them. But then Dave bit his lip, and grinned at him.

They wrapped their arms around each other and stayed like that, the water washing off the remains of their ministrations.


Kurt paced nervously in the church nave. One of the workers came up to inform him that the flower delivery hadn't arrived yet and was met with a loud and quite linguistically challenging curse that had him running away in fear.

"This is going to be a disaster. I can't afford any negative reviews, not when we've just started. Not with this economy."

"I think it looks nice," Dave said and shrugged.

Kurt gave him the do-you-really-think-your-opinion-matters-here look and came up to the bench. He shifted the purple cockade slightly before just taking it off completely. He then stepped back and regarded the d├ęcor sternly. Unsatisfied, he sighed and put the thing back on.

Dave came up from behind him and wrapped his arms around him. He took Kurt's hands into his and pressed them against Kurt's chest, stilling them.

Kurt leaned back into Dave's body. "I don't want this wedding to start. Why don't you make yourself useful and stop time?"

Dave rested his chin on Kurt's shoulder, his stubble scratching the other man's cheek a little. "Everything will be fine. You did a great job, and weird colors are going to be the shit this season." He nuzzled Kurt's neck and ear with his nose. "Beside, you don't want me to stop time."

"I believe I do."

"But then the wedding won't happen," Dave whispered. "You won't come back home, and I won't pee all over you and then fuck you until you scream." He bit Kurt's earlobe gently.

Kurt tensed in his arms and swallowed loudly. "I'd be up for that."

"Good." Dave let him out of his arms and spanked his ass playfully. "Now go and get your wedding on."