"What in tarnation are we gonna do!" Applejack exclaimed
"Don't look at me!" Rincewind shouted 'I had nothing to do with this!"
"What the hay are you talkin' about partner? You're the one that went and got teleported here"
"I didn't want to, I was just walking down to the kitchen when the Arch chancellor called 'Rincewind lad come here for a moment' and then the next thing I know I'm talking to horses!"
"That's ponies for your information" Said Rarity testily
"None of that matters, we'll just have to go to Canterlot and explain to the Princess what happened, maybe she'll have a plan B"
"Well best of luck to you then"
"Oh no you don't, you're comin' to partner" said Applejack as she grabbed Rincewind by the coat.
It took a while, but eventual Applejack managed to drag Rincewind all the way to the train station, and from there to Canterlot. The Five ponies and wizard wasted no time heading straight to the throne room. There stood Princess Celestia, she had a worried expression on her face.
"Good you're here" said Celestia "But where is Twilight Sparkle?"
It didn't take the ponies long to explain what had happened, and when they had finished Celestia looked even grimmer then before.
"This is terribly news, but I will have to make do, for you see, only some pony as magically skilled as Twilight Sparkle could accomplish this task, but, with her gone, I will have to use you Mr. ?"
"Mr. Rincewind, We need your magic, all of Equestria may depend upon you"
"We need your magic to-"
"Wait! You don't need me, How do you know I'm good at magic? I'm terrible at magic!"
"I assumed you had some magical talent because you are a wizard"
"How'd you know I'm a wizard?"
"…It says so on your hat"
"Please Mr. Rincewind, we need you-"
Suddenly there came the sound of many footsteps from outside as if an entire mob was running straight for the throne room. The pegasi guards readied themselves to stop the mob that was approaching, until they noticed that it was not a mob, but a large chest, with many pink legs. The guards were knocked out of the way.
"I was wondering when you'd show up" said Rincewind
Meanwhile back in the Unseen University.
"The point is that it's a conscious creature Arch Chancellor"
"It's for science Mr. Stibbons, for the greater good."
"Sir what do you hope to accomplish by dissecting a purple unicorn?"
"I want to see what makes it talk of course"
"I'd prefer not to be dissected" said Twilight "If you don't mind"
"See Arch Chancellor, it doesn't even want to be dissecting, this would be a barbaric thing to do"
"Well then what do you propose we should do? How are we going to learn anything about this creature if we don't dissect it?"
"You could try asking me"
"We could use Hex of course"
"Oh not that bloody machine"
"You'll see Arch Chancellor, this will be more efficient then dissecting it"
It took Ponder Stibbons a while to set up the massive machine known as Hex, but finally he got it running.
"Go on ask it"
"Very well then, What the bloody hell is this thing?"
"We know that, but why can it talk?"
"Lets ask about where it came from"
"I come from Equestria"
"Don't shush it Arch Chancellor"
"I'll bloody well shush it if I feel like it, now tell me about this Equestria place"
"Well it's where all the –"
"Not you, Hex"
"The bloody hell does that mean?"