So, I hit this really, really long stretch of time where I had this awful writer's block that refused to play nice. And it was being really annoying and I kinda wanted to die and/or kill it and then I was bored, wrote a bit, and realized that I didn't actually have writer's block anymore so I finished it and JFC I AM REALLY, REALLY OUT OF PRACTICE. And this is just kind of a drabble thing that I didn't think I wanted to put up but then I looked at my profile and realized that I had taken down everything else I had because I was going through this odd, odd phase that made me all self conscious and shit. And I was like, I'm a loser. And decided to just screw it and post this. ^_^
Oh yeah, and part of the title's missing in the post title, because is stupid. The full one's in the story.


Can I be the person you turn to in the dead of night

Ritsu felt like shit. He shivered as he curled up beneath every blanket he owned, and coughed every few seconds, each cough feeling like sandpaper rubbing his already raw lungs. He sniffed, a little miserable sniff, too tired to even move the five feet it required to go get the tissue box. His throat was congested, and he had a massive headache. The only things in his body that didn't ache in some way were his toes.

He should have called in sick, he had felt off the entire day, and he would've if not for one stupid, annoying, tactless bastard who had nearly banged down his door that morning. He groaned and coughed, then groaned again, coughing hurt. His door opened (shit, he had forgotten to lock it) and someone came in, and at this point, he wouldn't have cared if they were an axe murderer. Please, just let me sleep. But instead, he felt a gentle, cool- oh God, it felt so good- hand brushing his bangs back and resting on his forehead. Trying to focus his eyes, he shimmied up on the couch and saw that familiar black hair.

"Takano-san, wh- what are you doing here?" He rasped.

"I'm trying to be a good neighbor. You didn't look so good in the morning, and you haven't responded to any of my texts, so I came over. Christ, you're burning up. Why didn't you tell me, moron?" Takano angrily asked.

"You can't just barge in here, this is my apartment!" Ritsu shouted, or rather, tried to shout. As soon as he opened his mouth, he was overtaken by a fit of coughing and any attempt to talk was quickly drowned out. Takano-san frowned in dismay.

"Are you okay? Do you want a glass of water?"

"I want you to leave me alone. I'm fi-" he said, disproving his own statement with another fit of coughing. Takano frowned again, and seeming to have made up his mind about something, got up. Ritsu sighed in relief and closed his eyes. He had finally gotten the message and decided to leave, thank God.

"What are you doing- OI. Let go of me!" Takano had picked him up and was carrying him, blankets and all, princess style. If Ritsu had the energy to feel mortified, he would be blushing to the tips of his ears.

"Stop squirming, Onodera. I'm going to drop you." Takano easily carried him out of his apartment and nudging his door open, carried him into his own apartment and plopped him down on the bed. "Jeez, why are you so light? Have you lost weight since the beginning of the cycle?"

Ritsu froze. He wanted out, he wanted back, he didn't want to have to deal with this when he was already sick and probably about to die, judging from how his lungs felt. He spoke as harshly as he could manage, but even to his own ears he sounded apologetic and pathetic. "Takano-san, look, I'm sorry but I can't. I seriously can't, I probably couldn't even get it up-"

Takano was suddenly right in his face, and he grabbed him by the shoulders.

"Wait. Do you seriously think I brought you over to have sex with you?" Takano asked, voice soft and almost pained.


"You're an idiot. Look, I don't like listening to my lover"- At this, Ritsu glared his disapproval- "hack his guts out, okay? I dragged you in here to take care of you. How much of a bastard do you think I am? …On second thought, don't answer that." Takano stood up and ran a hand through his hair. "I'll be back; I'm going to get you some Advil and a glass of water."

Ritsu was too tired to feel guilty and wasn't even sure what to feel guilty for, so he dozed as Takano was gone, letting the sound of his puttering around the kitchen lull him to sleep. By the time he came back, he was already half asleep and spread across the bed, with only a hazy sense of his surroundings.

"Oi. Oi, get up." Takano's voice was surprisingly gentle, and Ritsu felt large hands support him as he slowly sat back up. "Here." He dropped a few small pills into Ritsu's hand and lifted it to his mouth, passing him the glass of water with the other hand. Ritsu took a long pull from the glass and swallowed the pills, feeling them as they slipped through his swollen throat.

"I'll make you some broth, just wait here. Keep on drinking that." Takano tapped the glass three quarters empty cup, now sitting on the bedside table, and turned away to go back to the kitchen. Something caught in Ritsu's throat.

Ritsu wasn't quite sure how his hand ended up curled around Takano's shirt, but he could feel the fabric sliding through his fingers and all of sudden, the room got very, very quiet. Ritsu could only hear the blood rushing through his ears, an all-consuming thrumming, whooshing sound. The silence was fragile, and Ritsu was scared to move his hand, feeling as if something would break if he did. Takano turned back slowly, staring in disbelief.

"Just. Just stay. Please," he muttered.

Takano smiled, a melancholy kind of smile that Ritsu knew, that Ritsu remembered, that Ritsu still saw in summer nights and sakura blossoms and library books. The smile that he hadn't thought of until it was too late, the smile that kept him up at night with its implications that he hadn't guessed, couldn't have known.

He reached out and removed his hand, wrapping it around his own fingers. Then he sat down and gently brushed dry lips over Ritsu's, and again over his forehead.

"I love you."

Ritsu smiled faintly, too tired to hide anything anymore. Besides, at this point, who cared what Takano saw, and what he would take from it?

Before he drifted off, in a very quiet corner of his mind, he had one last thought.

Maybe he isn't such a bastard after all…

175 days until Onodera Ritsu falls in love.