Chapter 11: Mother and Daughter
"Rhett, its two weeks until Christmas and Bonnie hasn't gotten any better." Scarlett cried as she knew Bonnie's fight with this may not end happily. They had been back and forth and back and forth from the hospital at least two days out of the week. And now Bonnie had to wear a wig because she had lost all of her hair. A five year old losing hair shouldn't have to happen along with her fighting cancer. This wasn't normal for a little girl to have to suffer through. "I won't be able to bear it if she dies. This whole family will fall apart. Do you hear me Rhett?"
Rhett had about had it with his wife's constant lies. She never cared for Bonnie. He was the only one that truly did. When she was learning how to ride a bike who was the one that taught her? He did. When she lost her first tooth who was the one that had to pull it? He did. And when she woke during the night screaming who got her back to sleep? He did. Scarlett was just a part of her daughter's life because she knew that she could go any day now. "Scarlett, just shut up. I'm sick and tired of hearing all of your lies." Rhett yelled as he had finally had enough.
"How can you say that?" Scarlett asked as she watched the children play in the light snow that had fallen the night before. "I love Bonnie just as much as I love Wade and Ella."
"Which apparently isn't very much," Rhett said coldly which in turn sent a chill down Scarlett's back.
"I've tried to tell you time and time again that I love the children deeply and I also love you with my whole heart but, you can't seem to get past something. I don't know what IT is but I know there is something keeping you from me." Scarlett spat as now faced her husband face to face. "Is it the fact that our child together is dying? Is it the fact that I've fallen out of love with Ashley Wilkes and you can't seem to realize that. Or is it the fact that you know that I truly care for this family?" Scarlett could feel her heart beating widely inside her chest. "I will tell you this Rhett Butler, that this Christmas will be far different from past ones. If this is Bonnie's last Christmas with us then we need to make the best of it." She was hoping this would hit home with him. "Look at her Rhett, she can't even go and play out in the snow with her brother and sister. She just has to sit there and play with Patches."
Rhett was stunned he had never heard Scarlett speak this way before. The look in her eyes was fire and lots of it. Rhett was going to say something cruel but he bit his tongue. "I suppose your right pet. We need to make this Christmas extra special." Rhett didn't want to lose his little baby girl. She was his world his life. "I just don't want to lose Bonnie this way." For once in a long while or maybe for the first time ever a tear ran down Rhett's cheek.
"Neither do I. But we have to stay strong for her sake and strong for our marriage." Scarlett knew she couldn't keep that at bay. Taking her hand she wiped the tear away from his sad and sorrowful eyes. Even if they did fight often Scarlett couldn't bear to see Rhett cry and the same with him.
"You keep our marriage out of this. That is another story." Rhett said as he pushed Scarlett's hand away with anger. "That will be our only Christmas gift to each other is a divorce."
"I don't want-
"Mother, Uncle Rhett will you come out and play with us?" Ella asked as she stormed into the living room.
Rhett and Scarlett looked at one another. "Not right now darling,"
"Please," Ella pleaded as she began to stick out her lower lip. Standing there her cheeks began to turn a pink color as the cold hair came in from the front door.
"Well I-I-ask Uncle Rhett," Scarlett answered as she didn't know what to say.
"Will you?" Ella asked facing her stepfather.
"I don't see why not. Give your mother and I a few minutes to change and we will be out." Rhett smiled at his stepdaughter.
"YEAH!" Ella said with happiness and was soon out the door.
Scarlett turned and glared at Rhett. "What?" he asked.
"Nothing, nothing at all," Scarlett said as she made her way up the stairs. Within ten minutes both Rhett and Scarlett were dressed in the right attire. "I feel so stupid." Scarlett said looking in the mirror.
"No you don't you look like a little Snow Bunny." Rhett said with a laugh. She did look like one of those little figurines.
"If you think that is going to make me forgive you for what was said earlier you are mistaken." Scarlett said as her bright green eyes lit up like a Christmas tree.
"Scarlett, let's not open that can of warms again." Rhett shot back as his voice began to change.
"You just don't' want to face the matter and talk about it." Scarlett said under her breath. Walking out into the yard Ella and Wade came running up to them.
"Come and play with us."
"Were coming were coming." Rhett answered as the children ran off and hid behind trees. "How about we put all of this behind us for now and have fun with the children."
Agreeing with him Scarlett was right behind Rhett when all of a sudden her dark green eyes caught sight of Bonnie. Turning towards her she saw her sitting in a wheelchair as patches' sat at her feet curled up watching over her. Poor Bonnie she looks so sad and so sick. Her little body must hurt from the chemotherapy and being poked with needles. Walking over to her Scarlett got down to the child's level. Bonnie turned towards her mother. The moment Scarlett saw the tidiness and hurt she felt her heart sink. Her poor daughter, this awful demon had taken hold of her and wouldn't let go. Putting a hand to her cheek Scarlett rubbed it up and down Bonnie's small cheek.
But through the whole ordeal Bonnie never stopped being Bonnie. "Mother, I'm scared," Bonnie's little voice cracked as a sob got stuck within her throat.
Scarlett felt for her child. Why did it have to be her? She had hardly been sick and now all of a sudden this happens. "I know darling I know." Scarlett moved to the chair next to her. Wrapping her arms around her she rocked her baby girl back and forth. Bonnie just let the tears fall as the fear gripped her.
"Mother, what do you think heaven will be like?" Bonnie asked as she had finally found her voice.
"I don't know darling. I'm sure it's a wonderful place." Scarlett answered as she knew where she was getting. "But Bonnie you mustn't think about dying and heaven right now." At the sound of Bonnie talk about heaven made Scarlett realize that Bonnie wouldn't be around much longer. They needed to make the time that was left to her count. "You are going to get better. Before Christmas gets here you are going to be better. And be that happy little girl once again. Don't ever lose sight of that and always know that your father and I love you."
Bonnie nodded. She understood what her mother was saying, but what if something did happen to her. "Yes, mother I'll remember that, but what if something does happen to me before then?"
"We mustn't think about that now alright Bonnie. Think about what is happening now not two weeks down the road." She flashed her daughter a smile.
In the meantime Rhett had noticed Scarlett with Bonnie. Rhett felt an ache in his heart as he looked on at the scene. What if Scarlett had been telling the truth all this time? What if what Scarlett had said was true? Yes, he knew that she loved him, but something within him still wanted to believe that she was lying or cheating on him.
"Uncle Rhett, what are you doing? You are suppose to be hiding Ella's voice called out as she approached him with Wade not too far behind. "Uncle Rhett, is Bonnie going to live?"
"Of course she's going to live. Why would you ask a question like that?" Wade asked as he smashed a snow ball on her head. Looking up at him Ella stuck her tongue out at him. Boy was he always mean to her. That was just him showing that he loved her. "You just have to have faith live we've been taught."
It was nice to hear that Wade had faith that Bonnie was going to live. Not that Rhett didn't because he did, but it was just like a little candle. The flam was slowly dying and there was nothing that Rhett could do as he watched his daughter be pulled away from him by death. Rhett could barley muster a word as he found that he couldn't find it. Clearing his throat he finally found it. "Wade's right Ella you just have to have faith that she will live. After all it is Christmas and doesn't that mean-"Rhett could barely finish before Ella took the word right out of his mouth.
"Miracles!" she said as her eyes lit up like a Christmas tree.
"Yes, Ella miracles," Rhett answered as he smiled at them both. Looking back up Rhett noticed that Scarlett was still talking to Bonnie.
"Mother, do you believe in miracles?" Bonnie asked as she had heard about them, but never saw one for herself.
Scarlett was stunned that her daughter would ask her that. That was like being asked if she believed in God. Of course she did even if she didn't show it all the time. Scarlett however hesitated before answering. "This is the season for them dear so yes of course I believe in them."
"Do you think God will send us one?" Bonnie's mind was filled with questions about life and death. "Do you think God wants us to be happy? Do you think God wants us to be a family?"
"I'm sure he will, if he wants to. You know Bonnie. Just because God doesn't send us what we want that doesn't mean that he still loves us." For Scarlett not to go to church a whole lot she sure was preaching a lot to her youngest daughter. "Yes I think God wants us to be a family and a happy one at that. So yes to both of those questions," she smiled at her daughter as she hoped that would lift her spirits.
"But mother, I don't feel happy right now." Bonnie answered as she now looked down at her lap.
"I know darling, I know." Scarlett wrapped her arms around her sick child. Feeling the wet tears hit her coat she just clung to her wising she could just make her daughter better. The muffled tears soon became louder and came faster. Shutting her eyes Scarlett tried with all her might to think of what it would be like if Bonnie lived through this ordeal.
Feeling her daughter pressed against her and feeling her tears fall and land on her Scarlett felt an ache in her heart. All this time she had neglected her child. Never showing her enough love, never showing her not as much as a glimpse of a smile. Not once did she ever felt as if she treated the child with the respect and love that she deserved. And know knowing that she could die any day or even at any moment Scarlett knew it was time to be a mother. Not just to Bonnie but to Wade and Ella as well.
Hearing footsteps coming up the porch steps Scarlett opened her eyes. Looking up she saw Rhett standing before them. Something within his eyes had changed. They didn't look hard or dark anymore. Getting down next to them Rhett took Bonnie's little hand. Within a few moments Ella and Wade were soon comforting their half sister. They needed to become a closer and more tight nit a family. Time was running out as they all had come realize this.
A/N: I'm so so so sorry it's taken me so long to update. I've just been really busy along with having slight writers block. What do you think? Review:)