Woah, it's been awhile. It has been a ridiculously long time since I posted something on here. School, work and life so got the better of me. But I have missed this place dearly, and this story just has been nagging me for awhile now and I had to do it.
This is my first SONS fic, and I'm a little nervous because this show is just so amazing and to even try to write my own story with the fantastic characters that are this show is going to be a huge challenge! Kurt Sutter really is the only person who can write them and convey them in such a wonderful way.
Season 4 has been just an absolute mind fuck. Seriously, every week this show just throws me off a cliff. But it has been so damn worth it. Best season of the show, by far! I can't believe how quick it goes. Next week, we're done. For like, a freaking year! UGH! This story is probably the only thing that will help me get through the hiatus.
I know there are quite a few stories that deal with teenage Jax and Tara, but I don't care. I wanted to write them! Mine will be different though, as I'm also going to include the time when Jax and Tara were apart for ten years, probably ending around when Tara actually returns. So, pretty much everything that happened before the show started.
Disclaimer: NOTHING is Mine. As much as I wish Charlie was mine, sadly he is not. Nor is Jackson Teller, or Opie Winston, or any of the wonderful men of SAMCRO.
12 August 1997
Charming, California. A small, quaint town about twenty miles east of Stockton, the closest major city to the old and rural town. The majority of people that live in Charming are native, born in the town and most never leave. It's almost like a cage, and the people are it's animals.
Jax Teller doesn't really understand this concept, as he has never really seen a life outside of Charming. Ever since he was a boy, he's seen himself as a member of Charming's motorcycle club, Sons of Anarchy. He even sees himself becoming president, accepting the gavel from his step-father and following his father's footsteps, co-founder and president, before he died, of the club.
This is his life. Charming is his future.
But as he sat on his bike, cigarette between his fingers, and watched from afar two people packing up a van with boxes, he realized that his future was turning upside down. He leaned on his handles, taking a long drag. His eyes never wavered from the young women, her dark brown hair tied messily up, as she packed the remaining box into the trunk.
Jax watched as she spoke to the older women, his heart doing something funny when he saw her smile. Even though he was about half a mile away from her, he could see her smile. It was sad, but hopeful. It was nervous but excited.
She had a lot of smiles, and he knew every one of them. Even though he loved seeing her smile, his hate for her grew in that moment. Because even though she was sad, she was also excited. Excited to leave Charming. Excited to leave her life of 19 years. Excited to leave him.
She turned to the door, and Jax just then noticed someone standing in the doorway, watching them as he did. The girl gave him a weak wave, and the older man stood there, no motion. It took everything in him not to go over there and beat the shit out of the man, one of the reasons why she was leaving.
He took another long drag, staring as the older women walked around the car and climbed into the drivers seat. The younger one patted her knees and a golden retriever came running into view and jumped into the backseat.
He knew where they would be going, so there was no need for him to hide out as the car pulled out of the driveway and started down the street perpendicular to the one he was on. And just like that, she was gone.
So was his soul.
6 October 1994
Tara Knowles woke up with a start, as she always did when her loud and obnoxious alarm blasted in her ear. She groaned as she read the clock, 7:00. She slammed the snooze button, maybe a little too hard, and threw her comforter back over her head. Five more minutes, she told herself.
She could feel herself drifting back to sleep, the darkness and warmth coaxing her into a blissful slumber. She would dream of beaches, and to her much welcome pleasure, Tom Cruise. A small smile formed on her lips as her mind went to dirty thoughts.
Her eyes flashed open when she felt a large object land on her body. She peeked out from under the cover, glaring at her golden retriever as he expectantly looked at her, waiting for his morning feeding. "Dodger, can't you go find a squirrel or something?"
His response? A loud bark right in her face. Tara laughed, "fine. You win." She shoved him off her bed, getting up herself and walking out into the hallway that leads to the family room. The TV is still on, and about ten cans of Bud Light litter the coffee table and floor. Someone partied hard last night.
She turned her back to the sight and walked into the kitchen, grabbing the dog's bowls from the ground. She gave Dodger his food and water, before pouring herself a bowl of cereal. She heard a loud thump come from the end of the hall, followed by heavy footsteps coming her way.
Her father, Robert Knowles, came stumbling into the kitchen. He looked like shit, Tara noticed, but to her, he always looked like shit. His old white tee stained with beer and liquor, and his pants have about five holes in them. Tara fixed her eyes on her cereal, hoping her father would be too hungover to notice her.
No such luck. "Where the hell is the milk?" his deep, scratchy voice demanded, slamming the fridge door with too much force.
Tara rolled her eyes, picking up the carton that sat next to her. "It's right here." Dumbass.
Robert padded over, huffing as he grabbed it from her hands, plopping down at the table. Tara watched in disgust as he drank straight from the carton, the white liquid dribbling on his scruffy chin and staining his shirt even more. #1 On To-Do List for today? Buy new milk. Tara shot up from the table, putting her bowl in the sink, and then let Dodger outside.
She made her way back to her bedroom, where she took a shower and started getting ready for school. Tara dressed in her usual jeans and tank top, letting her dark brown hair cascade down her fair shoulders. She packed her schoolbag and headed for the door.
As she walked past the family room, Robert had started his day with a Bud in his hand, watching some cop show. Tara shook her head, glancing at the picture of her and her mother that resided on the shelf next to the door. Her heart sank a little, knowing just how much her absence caused her father to be, well...him. She walked out the door, Dodger already sitting on the front porch, waiting for her. She patted his head, "bye boy," and walked down the driveway, to her grey '92 Dakota.
Tara had spent three years working her ass off at the town diner, busting tables and staying overtime to raise enough money so she could drive to school her junior year of high school. When her dad saw the truck, he offered a trade for her new car for his Cutlass. Yeah, right. Tara knew that thing didn't have too many years left of actually working. No way in hell was she giving up her hard earned money to her drunk ass father, who would most likely crash it the second he sets his fat ass in it.
Tara drove to school, going through her head the notes she had memorized for history. Charming High School was probably the only place in the world that made Tara feel...home. She loved going to school, being able to get out of the house and away from her father for 7 hours out of the day. She did well in school, as well. The teachers praised her, she has quite a few friends, and people genuinely like her. She feels safe here.
She pulled into her usual spot, which she had practically claimed the first day of school, and noticed she still had about five minutes before the warning bell rang. She grabbed her bag and climbed out of her truck, spotting her friends just a few cars down.
"Hey Tara," Marcy greeted her friend. "I tried calling you last night, where were you?"
"I had to work the late shift at the diner," she answered, adjusting her bag on her shoulders. "And Good ole Pop was probably out cold on the tile."
Marcy nodded, knowing fully well that Mr. Knowles isn't exactly up for Father-of-the-Year. "Were you able to get off work tonight?"
Before Tara could answer, an arm slipped around her shoulders. She turned to see David Hale standing next to her, his doofy smile plastered on his face. "Hey Tara."
Tara smiled up at him, "hi David."
"You coming to my party tonight?" he asked, bringing her closer to his body so they were touching.
"Well that depends," she flirted, playing with the button on his letterman jacket. David is the QB for the football team, and he wears his jacket everyday. Tara can smell that it hasn't been washed in awhile, and wrinkled her nose.
"Yeah, on what?" he whispered in her hear.
"You removing the headlock you have on me," she replied, her voice turning steel and pushing him off of her. Hale has been crushing on her for years, and has made every effort in the book to make Tara his. Her friends can't believe she isn't interested in him, telling her that he's sweet, loyal, charming, and a total cutie, Tara just responds, "I already have a golden retriever, thank you."
Marcy shot her a glare, noticing the bitchy side of Tara coming out. It doesn't happen often, but when it does, it can be lethal. "So, David," Marcy started, trying to break the tension, "what time should we head over to your house?"
Hale, a little taken aback by Tara, smiled brightly, "probably around ten. The party should be in full mode by then." He turned his attention back to Tara, "are you coming?"
She feigned dejection, "oh wow, sorry guys. I wasn't able to get Ben to cover for me tonight, so I'm working till close."
Everyone seemed to be buy Tara's fake sadness about not being able to come to the party, but Marcy knew Tara probably hadn't even asked for the time off. She's right. Tara has been to all the parties in the world, and she knows she won't be missing much. Everyone gets drunk, makes-out with each other, then passes out. Sounds real fun.
The warning bell rang, signaling the students to start heading to class. Tara said her goodbye's to her friends, as she and Marcy made their way to History. Marcy started going over some of the notes for their test, but her words were drowned out by the commotion and chatter of their fellow students, along with the roar of motorcycles speeding into the parking lot.
Tara packed her bag with her books, making her way out of school and heading home. She hoped that she wouldn't run into Marcy, she wasn't up for another earful of 'David is like the perfect guy, and he is so into you, you should totally blow off work and come to his party tonight.' that she got at lunch.
Marcy and Tara have been friends for a long time, but they don't really consider themselves close. She likes Marcy, but they don't share secrets, or ever really have meaningful conversations. Really, they've always just been party-buddies. As they got older, and Tara and Marcy started getting into drinking and partying with the jocks of the school, they became closer, but that was pretty much the extent of their relationship.
Tara reached her truck, threw her bag into the passenger seat and climbed in. She had just started it when she heard a knock on her window. She turned to see Donna Lerner waving at her, barely reaching the bottom of the window. Tara rolled down the window, "hey."
"Hey Tara, sorry if I'm keeping you, but I have a huge favor to ask. Could I borrow your math notes from today, I totally flaked on class and am so behind in that class already, would you mind letting me use your notes?"
It took Tara a few seconds to wonder why Donna would want her notes, but she remembered that the dainty and pretty girl was actually indeed in her math class. "Oh, yeah sure, absolutely." She reached over and rifled through her bag, pulling out her notes and handing them to Donna.
She breathed a sigh of relief, "thank you so much, Tara. I'll have these back to you by tomorrow's class. Thanks again!"
"Sure thing," Tara replied, watching Donna scurry off to join her boyfriend, Opie Winston, who sat on his bike surrounded by his friends.
She spotted David Hale making his way over to her, and acting as if she hadn't seen him waving at her, she pulled out of the parking spot and booked it back to her house. Tara isn't usually so mean, but she just feels so trapped that she lashes out on people who really don't deserve it.
Speaking of trapped, Tara thought as she pulled into her driveway. Dodger sprang up from the porch, running down to greet her. Tara noticed the Cutlass missing, and let out a sigh of relief that her father isn't home.
"Hey boy," she rubbed Dodger on the head, "what are you doing?" She walked inside, the dog close on her heels, dropped her bag on the chair and made her way into the kitchen. "You hungry, boy?" She grabbed a box of crackers and a jar of peanut butter, sitting down at the table, Dodger resting his head on her leg, eyes bulging at the peanut butter.
Tara sat there for a while, eating her snack with Dodger, enjoying the peace and quiet. She relished these moments at home, when it was just her and she didn't have to hide out in her room, door locked, just praying that her father wouldn't make her the object of his drunken stupor.
Robert had lost all sense of reality and responsibility when Diane Knowles passed away, when she couldn't fight the cancer any longer. Diane had made Robert promise that he would love and protect Tara, and he would do everything he could to make Tara a happy, beautiful, and smart women. Robert couldn't keep the promise to love and protect her, and Tara grew up on her own, no help from her father. Tara couldn't hate her him, knowing just how much he loved her mother and how her death had torn him up inside and out. There is resentment though, in how he deals with her death, and how he takes his anger out on Tara and that every time he looks at his daughter, he sees his dead wife, and it makes him wash away the pain and loneliness with a bottle of whiskey.
She wasn't sure exactly when she stopped mourning her mother, when she stopped loving her father, or when she decided that she was going to get out of Charming and make something of herself. Tara has grown thick skin over the past couple of years, never really getting too close to anyone, because she knows she's just going to leave them come graduation. That's why she won't really let Marcy in, or give David a chance. Tara knows that if she lets her walls down and she starts trusting people, she might make the mistake of loving them, and she doesn't want anything getting in her way of leaving.
Tara spent the rest of the afternoon doing homework and cleaning the dishes, before dressing in her khaki shorts and black tee with her name-tag attached and heading for work. She let Dodger back outside, knowing he would be safe away from her father, who has taken his anger out on her dog a couple times in the past. Tara learned that as long as Dodger is outside when her father is home, he's safe, seeing as how he's not going to exert any effort in getting off the couch.
Tara drove into town, where the diner she works at, Lazy Daisy's, resides on the main strip. She likes it there, the customers more older and less roudy and demanding than the average young adults and teenagers. Tara found this as an excuse to get away from her father, but when she turned 15, she wanted to work here to raise enough money to get out of Charming. Mrs. Daisy, the sweet elderly owner of the diner, knows how much Tara wants out, and gives her more hours than the other employee's. The whole three other people that work there, including Ernie, the cook.
She walked into the diner, noticing the evening rush. Charming has more older people than younger, so the busiest times of the day are at 7 in the morning and 6 at night. Tara usually doesn't like working these shifts, since they tend to go by too fast for her sake, but tonight she had requested work. Not to make the night pass by fast, rather to have an excuse to not go to the party tonight.
"Evening sweetheart," Daisy greeted, walking out from the back. Tara joined her behind the counter, tying her apron around her waist. "I'm heading out early tonight, you gonna be okay to close?"
"Absolutely," Tara nodded. "Hot date tonight?" she teased the older women, who had treated her more like a parent these past three years than her own father in the past ten.
Daisy smirked, "maybe. It's been too long since Mr. Daisy has taken this for a ride, if you know what I mean."
Tara frowned, "eww."
Laughter erupted from behind them, as Ernie stuck his head out of the kitchen window. "Better be careful Tara, ask her too many questions and she'll give you the full detail on what went down on that ride."
"Eww," Tara repeated, shaking the images from her head.
Mrs. Daisy laughed, "goodbye children."
Tara turned to Ernie, "is it just you and me tonight?"
He nodded, "yeah, but I don't think it will be too bad. The game's tonight and by the time it's over, the older customers will be too wiped to get dinner and all the kids will probably be consuming various other nutrients than our delicious food." Tara smiled, knowing what he meant. "Speaking of, why did you request to work tonight? Thought you would want to be with your friends?"
She shrugged, knowing Ernie would ask her this question. "I guess I forgot there was a game tonight."
Ernie accepted her answer, but knew she wasn't being honest. Ernie has been working here since he was in high school, and as sweet and happy as he is, he's the perfect example as to what she is trying to avoid becoming.
He disappeared, returning to his stove, and Tara turned her attention to the elderly couple walking through the door. Plastering a smile on her face, she greeted them with enthusiastic energy and guided them to their table.
The clock read 11:12, and Tara stifled a yawn with the back of her hand. About 45 more minutes till close, and Tara was ready to leave, she longed for her bed. Even with the big game, the diner had been pretty busy, overwhelming both her and Ernie at times. Now, though, it's completely dead. Tara likes these times, with just a few lagging customers, as it gave time for her and Ernie to relax from the hectic night.
Marcy had called around an hour ago, telling Tara how much fun she's missing and she should drop by once she's done flipping shakes and blending fries. Tara could practically smell the alcohol through the phone.
She pulled out the receipts from the day, counting the total amounts and making sure the money in the cashier corresponds to the white papers. Tara was so immersed in the numbers and counting that she didn't even hear the loud rumble of a Harley speeding down the street, or even register it parking in front of the diner.
It was Ernie who broke her out of her daze, "heads up, could be trouble."
Tara looked at him questionably, turning to the door when the bell chimed, indicating someone entering the diner. Now Tara understood what Ernie had meant, because strolling into the Diner is Jax Teller, wearing his baggy jeans, black tee with the word SAMCRO written in frayed white, and over his shirt, a leather kutte, with the big large words Sons Of Anarchy stitched on the back.
Tara shifted her feet, glancing at Ernie, nodding to him, letting him know she'll be okay. Jax and her have gone to school since they were kids, but they've had less interaction than her and Donna, meaning about none.
He plopped down at the counter, running a hand over his face. This drew Tara to his eyes, and she noticed a rather dark blue patch surrounding his right eye. She had seen Jax with multiple scars and bruises, so this really didn't come as a shock to her. Everyone in Charming knows Jax Teller gets into trouble on a daily basis.
She walked over to him, handing him a menu. "Besides an ice pack, can I get you anything?"
He looked at her, his bright blue eyes staring into her. Tara usually doesn't base a guy on his looks, but she had to hand it to Jax, with his messy blonde hair and piercing blues, the small stubble on his chin, and his overall build, she could see why so many girls fall to their hands and knees when he's around.
His mouth quirked, "is it that bad?"
Tara shrugged, "put a little concealer on it, should blend right in." He laughed, "really, we have a pack in the freezer, I can get it if you want."
He shook his head, "don't worry about it. I can't even feel it."
She nodded, "you want something to drink?"
"Any chance you'd give me a Miller?" he asked, giving her a charming smile.
Tara rolled her eyes, "yeah, because I was actually just tying to think of an excuse to get fired and possibly end up in jail. Thank god you came along."
Jax nodded, smiling. Tara liked seeing him smile. He always seems so reserved and distant at school, she can't remember when she saw him smile. "I'll just have some water, and can I get some fries, too?"
"Sure thing," she walked over to the kitchen window, "an order of fries, Ernie." She grabbed a glass and the pitcher of water from the fridge and poured Jax his glass of water, placing it in front of him. "So, let me guess. You crashed David Hale's party tonight, he was furious, started threatening that he would call Daddy Hale and his deputies to come and arrest you, and you made some joke about knowing where those deputies like to put their sticks, he took a swipe at you, and you probably beat the shit out of him."
Jax's eyebrows raised, surprised by her bluntness, a slow smile forming on his lips. "Actually, I told him that his Daddy and deputies probably had much more pressing matters to attend to, like sucking each other's dicks."
Tara laughed, "oh, yeah, wow, that will really make you have more friends." A ding rang through the diner, and Tara turned to the window, grabbing the plate of fries Ernie had fried up. She placed them in front of Jax, "so, how bad did you hurt him?"
He shrugged, "didn't get a chance to stick around, Opie dragged me out of there before I could appreciate my handiwork." He popped a fry into his mouth, "wait, isn't Hale your boyfriend?"
"No," Tara answered quickly, shaking her head vigorously, "god, not even close."
Jax nodded, watching her closely. "Oh, I thought I heard something about you two or something."
She rolled her eyes, "he likes to think so, but Hale is just too much of a," she tried to think of a good enough word to describe him, "well, a noob." Jax busted out in laughter, causing Tara to laugh as well, "he is!"
Jax met her brown eyes, "I guess I never thought of Hale like that before."
Tara shrugged, "once he's hit on you so many times you think of a lot of fitting names for him."
Jax laughed again, and Tara made a note in her head that if she ever had a moment with Jax Teller again, she would make an effort to hear his laugh. He glanced up at the clock, "shit," he muttered under his breath, and taking the last fry off his plate stood up from the counter. "Thanks for the late night snack," he said, leaving down a ten, "keep the change."
She grabbed the plate and the money, "thanks."
Before turning to leave, he patted the countertop and leaned in close to her, "have a good night, Tara."
She gave him a faint smile, but it was too late as he had already turned and headed for the door. She let out a long breath, watching as he strode outside, confidence and swag oozing off of him. He buckled his helmet on his head and started his bike, backing up and pulling away, and Tara listened to the loud roar of his bike until she couldn't hear it anymore.
Tara had to brace herself on the counter before she fell onto her hands and knees. Woah, she thought.
Well, there's chapter 1. Hope you guys liked it. Just a few things:
- I was really disappointed by the lack of Donna/Tara relationship in the show, because I always hoped that they kinda kept one another sane while they dated the two outlaws in high school. So, yes, in my story they will have a friendship.
-While I tried to get everything that we know from the show right, I did make up some of my own background. Like Tara's mother dying of cancer, her having a dog, and working at a diner.
-Last, I am in no way Kurt Sutter. I cannot even come close to portraying his characters. But I am going to try to do the best I can. If them seem off or OOC, let me know! I will try to adjust and make them more real!
Thanks guys! Review if you want, I would really appreciate it!