Make Haste 20: Bound and Liberated

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Hello my dears. It's been too long. It's Reality TV at my house. Seriously. Without the benefit of TV star pay. My husband looked at me yesterday and said, "Who put the curse on us?" LOL. You'll have to look me up on Facebook if you want the deets. Filling you in would take longer than this chapter.

I want to get this fic finished. That probably won't happen this year. I published my first novel, Moms on Missions, on May 30th. I hope to have Cats & Dogs out in November (please remember that part of the proceeds will benefit pediatric cancer research). On top of that, I have a huge edit due for a client in December.

This authoring business is thrilling, but it sucks time. I miss you. Please review so I know who's stuck with me.

This week, I met friends I made through the fandom during the past ten years and I have pictures to prove it: Melanie Moreland, Morgan and Jennifer Locklear (aka RandomCran) and Helena Hunting (aka Hunterhunting) and Jennifer January Lynn (aka MissJanuary). I haven't come down off my cloud yet.

This month is my seventh UE anniversary. I am so glad to be part of this fandom. Love you all.

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Awake, O north wind,
and come, O south wind!
Blow upon my garden,
let its spices flow.

~Song of Solomon 4:16

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October 31, 2005:

Before the wedding, I'd considered purchasing a corset for Bella, but I wasn't brave enough. Many feminists ranted against restrictive feminine clothing, and I didn't know at that point how Bella might feel about it.

Instead, I bought her not one, but three, identical black, stretch velvet and Lycra chemises, designed to look like a corset and miniskirt. She loved them so much that I was considering buying one in every available colour, in enough numbers to last all of eternity. I even thought about buying the design.

I was also considering a real corset in a nice, pale blue, accented with white lace, maybe with some tiny pink roses. Then, Bella got pear-shaped. In a big hurry. Hah. So much for that. For awhile, anyway. But along came Toddy with a garment I had no idea even existed. And Bella looked delectable in it.

"I love my life." I watched my wife enter our bedroom and couldn't resist putting my palms against her minxy ass. By the time I locked the door, Rose and Em were already lost in the throes of passion. While I could competently block their thoughts, Bella and I still had front row seats to their flirting. And other sounds.

Bella turned and linked her hands behind my neck, and we danced to an old ragtime song that I sang so softly that no one but she would will be able to hear.

"Dearie, now I know just what makes me love you so,

Just what holds me and enfolds me in its golden glow;

Dearie, now I see 'tis each smile so bright and free,

For life's sadness turns to gladness when you smile on me.

"There are smiles that make us happy,

There are smiles that make us blue,

There are smiles that steal away the teardrops,

As the sunbeams steal away the dew,

There are smiles that have a tender meaning

That the eyes of love alone may see,

And the smiles that fill my life with sunshine

Are the smiles that you give to me.

"Dearie, when you smile everything in life's worthwhile,

Love grows fonder as we wander down each magic mile;

Cheery melodies seem to float upon the breeze,

Doves are cooing while they're wooing in the leafy trees.

"There are smiles that have a tender meaning

That the eyes of love alone may see,

And the smiles that fill my life with sunshine

Are the smiles that you give to me."

I nuzzled Bella's hair, cherishing her, breathing her scent. We rocked from foot to foot together, unintentionally massaging Ren. She nudged at us, thinking contented, curious, simple thoughts that made my heart sing.

"Hey, Dr. Cullen?" Bella asked softly.

I put on a silly, low voice that sounded like it belonged in an old, over-acted movie. "Yes, Mrs. Cullen?" She fluttered her lashes and poked Renesmee's attention-demanding little foot back down into her insides.

"Is it true that intercourse can induce labour?"

Bella always surprises me. I laughed and the baby's foot came back to meet my hand. After tickling it, I poked it, and my daughter withdrew it. "You're not giving birth tonight, dearest. It would definitely not be good for Tigger."

"But, does it?"

"Usually not for first time mothers. If dilation has started, assuming the membranes haven't ruptured, or in your case, cracked, it can speed things along. The cervix must be thinning for any chance for this to work. But there's no penetration allowed after the membrane cracks, because of the risk of infection. So I wouldn't count on trying, okay?"

"Oh." Bella sighed. I refrained from saying that we were already getting a discount: four and a half months instead of nine, and that she ought to be glad she wasn't human. Or an elephant. I didn't think it would go over very well. I regarded her wolfishly as another, more promising thought occurred.

"There is some evidence, however, that an orgasm induced during delivery can take away pain."

"Are you telling me you want to rub my clit in front of Carlisle?"

"Scratch that."

She looked at me intently and I was engulfed in a wall of heat. Her thoughts came through.

Do you trust me?

I nodded, every nerve in my body tingling.

Bella tugged me over to the bed. As I passed it, I tugged down the sheet suspended from the ceiling. We knelt on the floor and began to sift through the items on the bed and in our basket. "How 'bout this, Mocha-chino?" She extracted a black leather domination harness similar to what Toddy and his fetishists sported.

I couldn't look at her. "No."

"Oh, come on. Why not?"

Venom sizzled under my skin. "You're too sweet for leather and studs."

"Um, I don't think it's meant for me."

"Jeez Louise." I took it from her to examine it. I didn't want to dress like one of Toddy's gang, so why would she want to talk me into it?

Sure enough, it had a built-in H-string. No hole in it, but still. It was pretty kinky for somebody inexperienced. Not that I didn't have about 90 years of T.M.I. in my brain that I wanted to assemble into something useful. Or several somethings useful.

Bella picked up part of the harness to show to me. "Look, it has lots of spring-hooks on it. And rings. It would make it easy to restrain you."

I can get out of anything if I want to. Even duct tape. But actively submitting to Bella's will really turns my crank. As if you didn't know.

"Um, well ... yeah."

"And the belts would give me plenty of places to hold on, or push you down."

"Yeah." Mr. Ed began to stir beneath his bonds. "Okay, we'll keep it."

"Edward, what are these?" She plucked the black leather carry-case out of the basket and unzipped it. Inside, there were three surgical steel objects, about a foot long, with different diameters and bulbous ends.

"Holy!" I yelped, snatched the case and snapped it shut. Bella jumped. Why, oh why hadn't I hidden it?

Bella tried to get a look while Mr. Ed hid in fright.

"What are they?" she pressed.

"Alice has gone around the bend!"

"Tell me something I don't know. Like, what those are for."

I pinched my eyes shut. "I…"

"You've Seen people use them?"

"You don't want to know, Minx."

"Tell me, or I'll ask Alice."

"Jesus, Mary and Joseph! You're so—"

"Curious. I'm so curious. Thanks for noticing. Now, give," Bella demanded, grinning evilly.

I sighed a long-suffering sigh. "They're sounds."

"Sounds?" Bella said, brows arching.

"Urethral sounds. They were invented as a medical device many moons ago. To –you might say— sound out the depths of women who had problems with urethral blockage or infection. Stuff like that. Apparently women found it incredibly painful. And then some guy got the bright idea to stick one up his dick. Now I ask you, who does that sort of thing? Who gets up in the morning and says, 'hey, I'm bored. Let's see what I can stuff up my dick.' Who does that, Bella?"

"Someone you know, obviously."

I slapped my hand to my forehead and squeezed my eyes shut. Damn it, Carlisle.

"So they're for guys to stick in their dicks. Why?"

"Because the end can be pushed right into the prostate." If the Volvo were around, I would have blended right into the paint.

"Oh." She nodded, her mouth in a very appealing 'o', her eyes glinting with humour.

"Don't even think about it, Minx. The Talking Horse is not deep-throating anything. It's bad enough that he has a name and an opinion."

She folded her arms. "Then why did Alice gave them to you?"

"Because she's an insane fairy?" My voice was much too high.

Bella relented. "Okay, Love. Relax. I'll just ... put them away."

"Thank you!"

"I take it we're not studying today, Mocha-chino." Bella tugged the tie out of her hair and worked her braid loose.

"You betcha. English Lit is a breeze, and I can help you with your Greek." I leered at her.

"Promises, promises," Bella sighed, eyes rolling.

"Mou weresei Hellenika (I like Greek)."

Bella snorted. "I noticed."

"Agapó̱ ti̱ sýzygó mou (I love my wife)," I added.

"Agapó̱ to sýzygó mou (I love my husband)." Bella's pouty lips just begged for a kiss. So of course, I obliged her.

She sighed a little, yawned hugely, and wilted. I wasn't taking care of her properly!

"Bella? Do you need to go to sleep, dearest?" I held her hand between both of mine, even though it half killed me to ask. I could wait. I have forever to love her. Even if Mr. Ed thought that as I was seventeen, he should always get attention yesterday-like-now.

Bella winced regretfully. "Um, Edward?"

I winced back. "Yeah?"

"I'm starving." She pinched her eyes shut with a big sigh.

I'd been thinking with the wrong head, obviously. "Oh, Bella. It must be because of all the excitement tonight. You've burned up your calories. I should have thought. Here, let me get you another snack."

On the floor of the tiny closet, we kept a small fridge. I picked up a bag of the animal blood we stashed there for emergencies. "I'll have it warm for you in no time, Love." My promise ended in a squawk of surprise as the world tilted on its ear.

It spun several times, and everything went crazy. When I collected myself, I found I wasn't able to move a smidge.

"You..." I growled. Would I ever get used to how fast Bella could move?

My minxy mate, muscular and dextrous as a Newborn, rubbed noses with me, grinning. "Gotcha." She backed up, her hands blurring as she finished securing me to the St. Andrew's Cross.

I tried and failed to move my hand. I could have broken the bondage ropes, although we'd discovered that it was harder to break the soft, stretchy ones, but really, why would I have wanted to? I relaxed back against the cross, a subliminal growl thrumming in my chest, and regarded my mate with admiration. It's so hawt when she takes charge.

Bella walked around me and smoothed a pale hand down my front. My right hand extended to the top of the X-shaped cross, and the soft, black, brushed cotton rope, a hundred feet long, coiled around and around my arm. It zig-zagged from shoulder to waist and wrapped around several times. From there, it crossed back up a few times to the shoulder, and passed behind my neck, down the other shoulder to my waist, so that the ropes made an X across my chest. Then, it went back up to secure my other arm behind my neck. It left me unevenly bound. According to the Domme at Toddy's party, that would keep me from becoming complacent.

Bella had remembered what she was taught. She knew how to do it, after seeing it done only once.

Bella's memory was ... expanding.

Grr-wow.

"No knots, Minx?"

"You like tradition, right? That Domme told me that using knots to administer punishment was frowned upon in ancient Japan."

I blinked. "I'm being punished?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Are you joshing? You took me to Toddy's. Are you telling me not to discipline you? Do you think you don't deserve it?" She twisted the rope around itself so that the end wouldn't come undone.

"No, I mean yes… um, oh. Can you rephrase the question, please?"

Bella frowned at me. "No. I'll tell you outright. I'm going to discipline you for taking me to Toddy's fetish party." I felt sheepish. I never would have taken… Wait a minute. She went in the house first. I followed her! What a minx. She cupped my package and gave it a good rub, confirming she was only playing a game.

"Yes, Mistress." I stared as she walked away from me. My dick was drizzling already, trapped inside the denim thong.

"Dom Cullen?"

"Yes, Mistress?" What was she doing in the closet? Ah, the spreader bar. And then, she stopped to dig inside the parson's bench for the black leather ankle cuffs. Ooh, ya! Twitch. Twitch. Ow. Twitch. Ow. "Mistress?"

"Yes, Beautiful?"

"I, um, ow. Could you please help me? The thong. It's... hurting."

Bella came to do an inspection and gave me another good fondle. "Poor Mr. Ed. Was he trying to get out, and just couldn't do it without ripping some denim?"

Boing! Yeah, that teasing really wasn't helping matters. "I think we used too much adhesive."

Bella tucked a fingernail under the edge of the thong and gave a little tug. I tried not to squeal like a sissy in front of her. I'm not that much of a sub, thank you!

"Fast or slow?" Bella asked coolly.

"Red!" I yelped, melding myself to the cross. Forget looking macho. Hard limit, reached. "Get the water, the adhesive's water-soluble!"

A smile lurked around the edges of her mouth. "I know something better." She sank to her knees.

"Venom," I said, relaxing.

"I'll have you free in a minute or two, Sweetheart," she promised. But she didn't. She wrinkled her nose. "Yuck! It smells awful!"

"I sincerely hope I never hear you say that again."

Bella chuckled, went to the lavatory and returned with a very hot washcloth, which she used to clean me off. I enjoyed all the attention, thank you very much. Finally, after about twenty minutes, things were back to normal. That was to say, they were pale, silvery, and erect. Although they were hairless, which took some time to get used to. Heh.

"All done," Bella said with a grin.

"Thank you, Dona Bella."

"Any time. You all right there?" She checked that there was still a finger-width of room between my flesh and the restraints. It would have been time to remove a human from uneven bonds. A human would have been writhing in pain.

"Mmm-hmm."

"Good. Dona Bella is going to go and have her snack, now. You be a good boy, and don't break my ropes."

"Yes, Mistress."

Bella collected her blood bag and went to the kitchen. I heard her puttering around and soon, I could pick the heady aroma of warm blood out of the air. It's a tricky business, warming dinner. Heat it too fast, or too much, and the nutrients and flavour will be lost.

Bella sauntered back into the bedroom, bearing a large, thick glass mug with the Cullen crest engraved on its side. The minx stood in front of me, sipping. What on earth could she be thinking?

She swallowed and licked her lips. "You thirsty?"

Always.

"N-no," I stammered, blinking rapidly.

"Liar. Say, 'Yes, Mistress'."

"Yes, Mistress."

Bella took a mouthful of deer blood, and pressed her mouth to mine. I opened, and allowed the warm fluid to enter me. The taste of Bella and blood combined was ambrosia.

"Like it?" she asked throatily, and licked at my throat, erasing the green tendrils of vine that she had drawn there earlier.

"Yes," I gasped. "With your venom in it, it tastes almost like your blood used to."

"Mmm. That's what I thought would happen," she said. Before long, we'd shared the whole pint, kissing each other into a heightened state of awareness. Bella set down the empty cup.

I waited for Bella to get busy. But her eyes were dancing. She was planning something and that's always a good thing. "Still okay?"

"Yes, Ma'am. You couldn't hurt me with this. It feels kind of weird, and I can't seem to relax, but it doesn't hurt. I'm not human."

"Good," she said, stepping away from me.

Wait. Huh? Where's she going?

Bella crossed to the other side of the room and picked up a small, rectangular side table. She put it right in front of me. Then, she gathered up several items and set them out on the table with surgical precision. She took off her wedding rings and I got impossibly hard.

Bella perused her display thoughtfully and picked up a funnel-shaped, black, studded cuff. She stepped in front of me and unsnapped the fasteners on it. "You okay with this?"

"I don't know. If it hurts, I'll safe-word."

She secured it around and above my dick and balls, as she saw the Domme at Toddy's place do to her sub. Dangling from the leather parachute were three heavy, silver, eight-inch-long chains, joined together at the bottom with a metal ring. Bella produced a small weight and dangled it from the ring. "How's that?"

"I can't even feel it."

Bella added several small weights to the ring. When it weighed more than five pounds, it tugged deliciously at my cock. I grunted and nodded at her. She set the weights swinging back and forth between us like a pendulum. My eyes rolled back in my head a little and I sagged against my bonds.

"Well, that wasn't the reaction I was expecting," she said frankly.

"Me neither. So good. I thought it would hurt, but it ... Oh, ffffuuuuck... It's like your hand, milking me."

"Mmm. You're pretty to watch, Dom Cullen. Now, I want you to do something for me."

"Yyyess, Dona Bella. Tell me what you require."

"I want you to think about all of these objects, and what I'm going to do with them. And I want you to fantasize about things we've done together, and things we haven't done yet that you want to try. You're to remember that you are mine. When the weights stop moving, you can get them swinging again. You're not allowed to do, or think about, anything else. Understood?"

"Okay."

Bella picked up the weights again and gave them another good swing. My knees buckled for a second. Then she scooped the rest of the items into the basket. She walked to her side of the bed, picked up her alarm clock and set an alarm. Then, she walked back. My eyes were locked on the apex of her thighs.

"You belong to me," she said authoritatively. "Cum for me. Now."

As usual, my head knocked back against the wood and I shot my load with a guttural roar. Teeth clenched, I resisted the urge to burst out of the ropes. Panting, I met my wife's eyes in time to see her playfully lick her fingers. "I will never get used to that," she chuckled. "You are such a stud."

"Thank you!" Other women would be complaining if their husbands sometimes didn't last, but that very seventeen-year-old bodily reaction delights my mate. She kissed me softly, and I tasted my own sweetness on her.

"Fulfill your orders."

"Yes, Ma'am."

Bella turned out all the lights and crawled into bed. Damn it, I knew she was tired!

"Edward?"

"Yes, Love?"

"If you're good, and do as you're told, I am going to listen to whichever fantasy you wish. And then, I am going to make your reality much, much better than anything you can dream up."

I could dream up quite a lot! Twitch. Twitch.

Within moments, she was sound asleep. I could hear her exhaustion in her breathing. I realized I'd been running her ragged. I took her to not one, but three parties, and then assumed she would have the energy to play with me. How selfish! Not thoughtful at all. I was a bad—

I stopped short and shook my head. Had I not just promised Bella that I wouldn't do anything but think about lovemaking? I was not allowed to rebuke myself. I was supposed to think about sex that we'd had and sex we had not. I promised. And experience had taught me to keep my promises to Bella. Always. So ... no putting myself down.

Where to begin? Um... at the beginning?

So... once upon a time, there was a hundred-plus year old guy who went to school one day (boring, boring, boring) when he saw a stranger. Across a crowded room. And boy, she was hot. And suddenly, he was hot. And bothered. And he'd been cold for so long. But damn if something wasn't awake in his pants. He went to the john to check it out, and shot his first load since 1918. Messy. And way addictive. More addictive than her blood.

Suddenly, his dick was talking to him after almost 85 years of the silent treatment. How great was that! And he really, really wanted the guy to talk to the beautiful girl with the big brown eyes and the minxy ass and the tits (yeah she had the best tits) just made for him.

Good times.

I kissed her in her bed. I kissed her in my meadow. I danced with her in my bedroom and at her Proms. And oh, dancing didn't even come close to the experience of her sweet, tight pussy. It took me sixteen months to get brave enough to touch it, but hey, I did. And I'm getting a baby to prove it. Hah!

Bella in Niagara in the bath? Holy. She smelled so, so good wet. Always better wet. I made her cum just by touching her nipples. And she touched me. Fuck, I never knew anything could feel so good, and that was nothing compared to the touches we share now. Mere months ago, neither of us had ever experienced an intimate touch. Once we got past that, we were too insecure to talk and too embarrassed to make any noise. I'd have sooner pulled out my own eye teeth than tell her anything I wanted to try.

But experience and talking have brought comfort. It's all down to Bella. She knew how to draw me out. She makes it safe to tell her things, and I reciprocate gratefully. She doesn't make me feel dirty, and she plainly enjoys seeing to my satisfaction just as much as I treasure fulfilling her. Bella is my mate. Resistance is futile. Who wants to resist? Not me. I'm very happy now. I put that contented look on Bella's face. Nobody else.

In the dark, silent room, I was struck by how much life had changed in a very short period of time. I was tied to a cross on the wall, for heaven's sake! The soft ropes were like a cocoon: they warmed me. They made me feel secure. Safe.

The uneven bonds heightened my awareness and made me long to touch my wife. I couldn't hold her while she slept or caress her to alertness. My fingers unconsciously traced her form, touching only air. How could I show her how much she was loved?

Things she does have made me feel wanted and important.

Back in July, she beat me off and I was certain it was going to be the death of me. A few days later, she sucked me off. The night before our wedding, I almost took her, but I didn't spoil things by doing it, after having waited so long. Instead, she held my cock against her burning pussy, squeezed the tip, and slid back and forth along it until I couldn't take it anymore. I made her back away so I couldn't hurt her, and we watched each other stroke off. Fffuuuck. I came so hard I dented the hood of the damn car.

The memory of that alone was enough to drive me mad. I stopped the swing of the weights dangling from the ball stretcher by clasping the chains between my thighs. I panted and resisted my excitement.

I had two personal goals, not shared with Bella, designed to make me a better lover. I'd been working on them for a while. First, I didn't want to be prematurely ejaculating every five minutes like a young boy. I knew she didn't care, because I didn't need time to recover, but it was a bit distracting on the wedding night.

Second, I wanted to make our bond so safe and nurturing that neither one of us would ever feel inhibited. I knew Bella wanted that, too. It went without asking.

After a few minutes, the urge to climax passed. I was able to go back to fantasizing, confident that I wouldn't expend my pent-up energy alone. I was saving it for Bella. Delayed gratification makes my experiences with her better.

Oh, if I put my mind to it, I could almost feel the whisper of Bella's silk wedding dress. I crawled up that clingy, white skirt right in front of Charlie Swan and lived to tell about it. I gathered her wetness on my fingers and took a little taste. Of course, Charlie didn't know how many times I had climaxed in his house over the course of the nineteen months previous, either. Often in Bella's bed. Not that she knew. Before August, anyway. After August, she certainly had (ahem) a hand in it. Or two. Sometimes a tongue.

What else… We'd tiptoed out of our own wedding reception after I discovered Bella hadn't been wearing any underwear all day. We set about doing as little damage as possible to the minx, and as much damage as possible to my bedroom. Just to piss Alice off. A memorable bout of cock-sucking in the tub did not a small amount of damage to the bathroom fixtures. And tiles. Esme had not been amused by the damage. However, she did get the last laugh, because she got to replace everything with gaudy stuff she knew I would hate. At my expense. Back to the subject, Edward. Focus.

I had, to Bella's great delight, thrown all her hairpins at the ceiling, where they stuck in the drywall like the spines of a hedgehog. Her laughter had been my triumph.

We'd snuck back upstairs to take advantage of every second of our limited time. Strawberry edible oil all over the Egyptian cotton sheets, not to mention various parts of our bodies. Sixty-nine? Oh, yeah. There was lots and lots of licking.

Maybe she'd do it tonight.

I shifted my weight, looking past the display of toys to gaze longingly at my wife. Her dainty foot stuck out of the blanket. The only other part of her that I could really see was her dark hair and one cute little ear.

A growl thrummed quietly in my chest. Back to the memory.

Ravenous for each other, we left evidence of our lovemaking on every available surface, plus clothing, littered about, that should probably have been burned instead of cleaned and preserved.

Probably took my family all day to wash the towels! I looked down with not a little smugness at my silver-headed cock. Mr. Ed was quite the fellow. Whoever would have guessed he'd become so important? I snickered, humming Feste's Soliloquy to myself under my breath, as I continued to run through my accomplishments:

"When that I was and a little tiny boy, with hey, ho, the wind and the rain, a foolish thing was but a toy, for the rain it raineth every day. But when I came to man's estate, with hey, ho, the wind and the rain, 'gainst knaves and thieves, men shut the gate, for the rain it raineth every day. But when I came, alas to wive, with hey, ho, the wind and the rain, by swaggering could I never thrive, for the rain it raineth every day. But when I came unto my beds, with hey, ho, the wind and the rain, with toss-pots still had drunken heads, for the rain it raineth every day."

Shakespeare knew everything about love. Even that it could be ridiculous and funny. Too bad nobody had seen fit to make him a vampire. The world of mythical creatures could have used him.

Bella and I have had a lot of fun since learning about physical love.

Wrecking my room had been a rite of passage. Bella and I left such a mess, plugging up the much-abused toilet with her stocking and my socks. And then, I'd dropped in almost the entire grocery-bag-full of colourful packets of condoms that were given to me by the kids from the high school. Easily a hundred of them. And flushed the toilet. Bella and I cackled with glee as it filled to the brim with water and debris. The ruined faucet was still dripping into the tub. I knew it would overflow, too. Payback for all the years of teasing. NO, not gay. NO, not asexual. And within a day, I would lose my virginity, thank God!

Before we left Carlisle's house, Bella walked into my bedroom and returned with the graduated set of white, sparkly dildos that were given to her by the Denalis. She took them out of the box, drooled into their suction cups, and arranged them neatly and symmetrically on the back of the tub surround. I blew up a few more condoms (red, green, blue and yellow) and decorated the rooms with them.

I could still hear her coyly announce, "I'm saving these for later," indicating the members of the set that were vibrators. She carried the box nonchalantly back into my room while I wrote notes to my family all over the mirror, tiles and toilet seat with Bella's eye pencil and lipstick. I thought it would be a long time until the white-sparkle sex toys would get used. My little lamb wouldn't be enough of an exhibitionist for that.

But now? Hmm… She would. She had been just full of happy surprises.

Especially when it comes to sex. I can still, to this day, smell us on Bella's wedding dress, despite the dry-cleaning. But we hadn't consummated the marriage in a hurry. Or where anyone might overhear.

Who knew she had Fake Edward, the g-spot stimulator? Grrrrr. I remembered the first time I saw Bella release an ocean of squirt. And other times, she used it on me.

I tasted the air. Bella smelled so good, all warm and contented. Feeling off-kilter, I shifted my weight. I didn't think being unevenly bound would harm me, but it did leave me mentally off-balance. Antsy. I couldn't settle. Sex. Think about sex. Want. Need. Ungh! With a swing of the hips I set the weights on the ball stretcher in motion again. Holy crap that's amazing.

Firsts. On the way to Rio she stuffed her hand down my pants and jacked me off, so I reciprocated, right there on the plane. How hot was that? It's a wonder Bella had any energy left to consummate the marriage.

But we did.

It may have been a little hesitant, a little fumbling, but it was everything we both needed. It was tender. And loving. And my hardness melded with her softness and made something new. Wonderful. Before we knew it, she was gaining vampire characteristics. Unbeknownst to us, she was already pregnant.

Bella's blanket slipped off and I could see the triangle of her white underwear peeping out from between scissored legs. She was lying mostly on her side, with a pillow against her chest. Venom pooled in my mouth. How long would it be 'til her alarm went off? How long would she sleep? I was torn. She needed her sleep but I wanted her awake.

I couldn't wake her. It wouldn't be right.

Seconds seemed to take an eternity to tick by.

Past events kept me entertained but unsatisfied. Loving on the beach. In the bed. Wildly on the floor. Gently in front of a fire. Whispers in the shower. Guttural screams in a thunderstorm. Roughly in the trees. Standing under the trees. Tangled in the surf. Vulnerable on the rocks. From behind, on the kitchen counter. Tag in the jungle. Languid massages by a river. Basking naked in the sun. Watching in a mirror at a hotel. Surrounded by tall grass in the Meadow. Christening every room in the cottage. Sixty-nining by the hot springs. In the car. In the mountains. On the car. On the roof of the school. Groping each other in a dark corner at a bar. Bella flogging me on the spanking bench. Having a quickie in the university library. Heh heh heh heh heh. And they thought I was a prude? Not.

I wanted to kiss and consume. I wanted her to lick me. Lick off the body paint. Teabag my balls. Rim me.

The weights swung, concentrating the wonderful pressure against my prostate. The stretcher pulled on everything I had. I leaned my head against the crossbeam behind me and did my best to relax. Bella didn't say I could cum. She said the only thing I was allowed to do was fantasize.

Bella's breath and heart rate changed. Was she waking up? No. Going into REM.

"Mmm," Bella groaned in her sleep. I hoped she wouldn't have a nightmare. l would have had to break the ropes and go and comfort her. And that would be a shame, because she obviously had plans for me.

"Mike!" she yelled. I jumped out of my skin.

Mike?

Say what?

Grr. Dream Mike had better not even think about laying a fingernail on my little Minx! I stiffened indignantly, then, realized that I was jealous of a figment of Bella's imagination. Jeez Louise.

"Go fuck Jessica's tits. She likes you. She wanted to have your splooge in her bra. Nah, she thinks splooge makes tits grow. It does not, doofus! It makes babies grow. Just ask Mr. Ed. No. Go make your own baby. No, I'm not helping. You both want to be purple elephant drivers when you grow up and I want nothing to do with that. Let me be, before Edward tears you a new orifice. That's a hole. Duh. Real Rhodes Scholar. Go apply to Mensa. Now, if you will excuse me, Mr. Ed is the size of King Kong and he's singing to me right now."

I beamed. My little pear hadn't had a dream this funny since we went to Niagara. I would write this one down in the memory book I was keeping for her, for sure.

"What's-he-singing?" Bella garbled. "No, not my theme song." She paused, then began to sing in a really bad French accent, perfectly in tune. " 'Yessir, zat's my baby, no sir don't mean maybe, yessir, zat's my baby nooooow!' "

Ragtime. I taught her that! I leaned weakly against the cross and quietly died of laughter. Oh, isn't it darling! She had never sung in her sleep for me before. And I missed recording it, to play back to her. Rats!

Bella is a terrible singer when she's awake.

Well, at least I'd never forget it. And it gave me an idea. A kind of fun, flirty idea. Would she know where it came from?

The sun rose, casting weak, white light through the filmy curtains.

I waited, thinking...

"Mmm," Bella moaned again, and my ears pricked up. "Oh, Edward. Yeah. Uuuungh. That's it, Baby. Mmm... more. Faster. Yeah! give me 110 percent."

Oh, yeah. I could do that. Any. Time. Minx. Wanted.

"No more excuses. Bite me when we cum. Ow, yeah. Make me yours!"

Well, that wasn't going to happen. Sadly, even if the idea was hawt, it was impossible. I very much doubted she was going to want me anywhere near her pussy when it was time. Probably lose my life in the attempt.

Ren would be worth Bella's labour. And having Bella for eternity would be worth her temporary suffering. Minx would suffer as little as possible. Then, we could get on with our eternity.

No need to be impatient. Soon, I would have a wife as durable as me. Not that she wasn't physically stronger than I was at the moment (which was really hawt), but a beating heart, and a need for oxygen, meant that we couldn't go all animal when—

Someday, we would swim to the bottom of the ocean and do... inhuman things. Maybe on a coral reef. It would give Bella something to hang onto. Grr-wow.

Maybe I'd take her to Everest. We could go all the way up, where the air was too thin and the terrain too dangerous for humans. Snow and ice could be fun.

Conversely, a little night-time jaunt to New Mexico or Arizona might be just the ticket to ride. Mmm. Some wide open expanse, where there'd be nothing to break if I chased her around and slammed her into things. Which I had every intention of doing. Over and over.

Best not think about that now. She's too vulnerable.

"Mmm-unhh," Bella moaned, arching in her sleep, and her hand crept down to cup her sex. Oh, shit! She's going to... It's been far, far too long since she... I set the weights to swinging again. Oh, so good. Come on, Bella. Show me.

My thighs quivered and my breath hitched as her finger dipped into her white kid leather panties. She stroked her clit, her lovely pink tissues swelling under her own touch. She began to stir. Her heart left the rhythm of sleep. Oh, God, please let her wake up soon! Bella rocked her hips against her finger. I could smell her arousal. Hear her wetness. But I couldn't see enough. A frustrated growl escaped me.

Oh, no! I woke her.

Bella sighed, stretched, took her finger out of her pants –drat— and checked me out. Noting the line of pre-cum stretching from my very silver cock, she licked full, red lips, scooted down to the end of the bed, sat on it, and crossed her knees. Tease.

I cleared my throat softly and licked my lips, feeling a little nervous. "Did you have a nice nap, Dona Bella?"

"Yes." She looked at me like I was something to eat, her hair mussed from sleep. "Your shoulder has gone a bit livid. Do I need to take you down, or are you still game?"

"Doesn't hurt. Still game."

"Is it normal for your skin to go livid if you don't move for extended periods of time?"

"Um, it's happened to me a few times." When I'd left her, I sometimes hadn't moved for days. "No big. Sometimes it stings when the cells wake up, but not usually. Nothing I can't handle."

Bella purred a little. She looked proud of me. "I'm glad to hear that, Love. Now, have you thought about what you want to play?"

"Um, yes?"

"Good. Tell me."

"Um, I was ... I don't know if you realize, but you were ... touching yourself in your sleep."

"Yeah?"

"Um... is the box from the Denalis here?"

She cottoned on without being told. "You want me to beat off with one of the dildos while you watch?"

"Uh, one of the vibrators?"

"Not Fake Edward?"

"N-no. Something... bigger."

"Okay. And then what?" she asked boldly.

"I want you to lick me all over," I said at top speed. She nodded. "Then, I want you to release me and switch. I want to spank you, and kiss it better. I want to lick you clean of paint, like we talked about. Then I want to take you out of that corset and finish cleaning you up. And then, I want to f- make love."

Bella uncrossed her legs, leaned back and spread them. "You want to fuck."

I ducked my head. But why was I feeling shy? It's not like I'd never used the word before.

"Passionately."

"You are an overachiever, Mister... Doctor... Dom... Cullen. You've been a very patient boy. I think you need lots and lots of rewards."

Yay! I'd have done a fist-pump, had I a free hand with which to accomplish it.

Bella sauntered over to the closet, reached onto a high shelf and liberated a plastic storage box. She tugged it down, rummaged through it and pulled out a lidded rectangular Tupperware container, which she tucked under her arm. "I'm going to wash these. Don't go anywhere."

As she went out, we smelled smoke. I tensed. Bella knocked on Em and Rose's door. "Em? Rose? You okay?"

There was no answer. "Saps!" Bella muttered. "It's okay, Love. No fire. Our looney housemates have gone out, but they didn't blow out their candles first. Everything's fine. No worries. I'll be back in a minute to take care of you."

"Okay." I set my weights in motion again.

With a rush of air, Bella appeared before the table of toys and stood the dildos up like silly, sparkly silicone soldiers. "What's your pleasure?" she asked, running her fingers over them.

"The one second from the end."

"This one?" she asked coyly.

"Ye-ah."

Bella stuck the vibrator in my face. "Wet it for me."

I wanted to obey. "I can't. Venom."

" Oh, drat. Sorry, Love. I don't know why I forget sometimes."

"Human."

"Shut up, or I won't do it."

I whimpered.

"Oh, stop whining!" she chuckled, "I'm only joshing." Bella wet it herself. Back at the bed, she took hold of our gold comforter and flipped it off the bed, leaving cool russet sheets behind. She sat on the end of the bed and put up her foot.

"Now. Tell me what to do."

"Uh, no."

"Yes."

I chuckled nervously. "No."

"Why?"

"If you do what I say and I'm wrong, it might hurt you."

"This won't hurt me, Love."

"It's a lot bigger than Fake Edward, Bella."

"It's not as big around as you. You want me to use it, right?"

"Ye-ah."

"Talk to me."

"I want you to slip your fingers in your panties, and ... move them."

"Be specific. How should I move them?"

"Side to side, over your clit. Yeah. That's nice. Now up and down your slit."

"You like watching that, Baby?"

"Yeah. Now um, put in your finger."

Bella did so, still wearing her leather panties. After a few minutes, I wanted more. "Take your panties off."

" Say, 'please'."

"Please," I moaned.

Bella slipped her thumbs into the sides of her panties and pulled them slowly down her legs. Then, she put her foot back on the bed and leaned on her elbow. "Now what?"

"Um, please take your index finger and your middle finger and... put them in."

Bella gave me surprised look. "You aren't usually this shy with me, Edward."

"No."

"Feeling self-conscious?"

"Guess so." When the hell did she get her psychology degree? Too bad she couldn't write a thesis on 'How to Bring Your Victorian Lover into the Current Century'. It would be Number One on the charts, should she publish it.

"Baby, it's just us. Nobody else is home. Just let go and tell me what you want. Not like I don't already know."

I smiled a little. She knew me so well. "I want you to fuck yourself with two fingers."

"Mmm." She licked her fingers and let them creep into her folds. Soon, they were inside her, stroking. Stroking. Oh, she was so wet.

I licked dry lips, and fidgeted. "Add a third."

Bella tried, but it didn't escape my notice that she was having trouble reaching. Her belly was beautiful. Only three weeks to go, but Ren had a lot of growing to do. Bella was going to be enormous. I couldn't wait to see her like that, but admittedly, the pumpkin wasn't always easy to accommodate.

"Use it, Love. Pretend it's me, and rub it on your clit. Spread your moisture around. Yeah, that's the way. Umm, yeah. Does it feel good, Bella?"

"Yeah," she moaned. She held the vibrator from behind, making it easier to reach herself, and unintentionally provided me with a better view.

"Put it in, Bella. Slowly. Slowly, that's it. I don't want you sore, because later, that's going to be me, sliding in and out of you. I'm going to stroke in and out of you for hours, and stimulate your gee. I'm going to possess you, Isabella. Body and soul."

"Yes!" I watched her muscles clench around the vibrator, as her jism eased its languid movement. Thinking about my plans was thoroughly arousing. The pull of the weights was delicious but not as good as Bella's kitty. However, patience was one of my best qualities. Foreplay was so important.

"Turn it on, Bella. Mm hmm. I like the way the beads inside spin, don't you?"

"Yeah!"

"Feels good, doesn't it Baby?" I watched her grip and release the toy. "Rub your clit for me." I watched her clench and unclench, my cock twitching in response.

"You wish you could touch me, don't you?"

My dick was heavy. "Yes."

"But you aren't allowed to just yet."

I growled softly. Not being able to touch her, or myself, was difficult, but the deprivation would intensify the subsequent touching. I set the weights in motion again, pretending the resultant pleasure was from her small hand, kneading and stroking. I loosed a jagged breath that I wasn't aware I was holding, and started to purr.

Bella whimpered, and writhed on the bed, and I growled encouragement at her, eyes devouring her alive. As she angled the vibrator to put pressure on her gee, her enjoyment became obvious. The sounds turned into vocalized panting, which grew more intense as she climbed toward orgasm. After what seemed like an age, she cried out and bore down, pushing out the toy before it could bruise tender tissues, and sprayed a torrent of fluid off the edge of the bed onto the hardwood, narrowly missing the carpet, leaving a puddle beneath her and drops of ejaculate more than a yard distant.

I growled possessively and my fists clenched within my bonds. The only reason I remained fettered was that my mate wished it.

After a momentary pause, Bella flung the toy away, moving at vampire speed to press herself against my heaving front. My eyes bored down into hers. I tasted her scent in the still air: an alluring combination of Bella, musk, body paint, leather, and silicone.

"You enjoyed that," she husked.

"Mmm, yeah. As you did, I am sure. I love it when you do that."

She huffed a laugh. "I noticed." She nibbled at my lower lip. I shuddered and leaned into the kiss as much as I could. We both knew I would remain bound as long as she wished. My kiss grew more insistent and she cut me off, drawing back with a smacking of lips. I lurched forward and she backed up, her lip curling with satisfaction.

Bella walked around me, evaluating, and tugged at the ball stretcher, making me grunt. She gathered her wetness on her fingers and smeared it on my beard, marking me. My chest resonated with a deep growl that she could probably feel inside. My dominant nature found it provoking.

Ms. Vampdomme turned her back to me, the sign of ultimate trust between two predators, and perused the table. She picked something up, but hid it, running her hand over other items on the table to make it hard to guess what she had chosen. I tried to govern my breath.

Spinning, she hid her tool behind her back and walked as close to me as she dared. Any closer, and I would have been able to peer over her shoulder and see what she was holding.

In a flash, she brought her arm down in a circle and pressed a braided handle against my jaw and collarbone. I stiffened. The long falls of the flogger slithered down my front, making me gasp and pant irregularly. I was nervous, although I trusted her never to hurt me.

Head cocked to the side, I looked at her solemnly. We lost ourselves in a private bubble, protected from the outside world. Our personal heat flared, warming flesh and minds.

The flogger was white kid, a perfect match to Bella's corset and panties. Its falls were 28 inches long, and half an inch wide. It had at least triple the number of falls of the average flogger. It looked plump, and decadent, and perfectly balanced. In short, it was a weapon of artistry, made by a master craftsman. And it was given to people who recognized that.

I was transfixed by the rain-like swishy falls as Bella stroked them through her fingers. Backing up, she rotated her wrist, twisting them. With a lunge, she brought them down on my chest, scraping off blue paint and making me grunt. She didn't wield it hard enough to do damage. The whip just told me that she could, if she wanted.

Bella brought the falls down again, smack, against my chest, and allowed them to cascade down my front. It tickled. She did it several times, allowing the falls to pass lower and lower until they caressed my privates. Intermittently, she used an infinity pattern on my chest and arms. Occasionally, she let the falls slither down one of my legs. I shuddered, captivated.

Standing before me, she pulled the falls straight, then held the whip down, swinging it between her legs to gently slap the area between mine. It clung to the skin, then tugged away with the gentlest pull, massaging me erotically. I let my head fall against the cross, eyes shut, and lips parted.

"You like that?" she asked softly.

"Yeah," I gasped, shifting my feet again.

Bella checked the bindings on my arm. "Still okay like this?" A human would have been screaming by then; circulation would have been gone.

"Yeah."

She resumed the staccato rhythm of caressing strikes.

"Don't stop. Please," I moaned. So of course, she stopped, and I groaned and writhed and tried to lean toward her.

I felt needy and unfulfilled, which was exactly how she wanted me. Bella stepped away, and for a second, I considered breaking away from the wall to have my way with her. With her face averted (which drives me crazy), she leaned over the table again to choose something new.

She knelt at my feet. Tortuously slowly, she buckled on the thick, leather ankle cuffs and carefully shifted my feet farther apart. I shuffled unsteadily, feeling vulnerable as she took a pair of large, heavy spring hooks and fastened my ankles to the bottom eyes on the cross. Then, she added two more hooks and secured me to the spreader bar.

The anticipation was insupportable. I began to huff like a train about to derail. Should I maintain my artificially bound state until her victory was accomplished?

Of course, I am Edward Cullen, the most patient vampire on the planet. I wouldn't budge. Indeed, I started purring again, because I knew Bella was about to get somewhere -get me somewhere—interesting.

Bella stood and gave a tug on the chains of my ball stretcher, making me grunt and try to shift my weight. I couldn't move without breaking the ankle cuffs, which would spoil the game. And I liked to play far too much to do that.

Bella caressed my balls gently and my breath hitched. She reached around me with both hands, unfastened the cuff and removed the weights. She inspected my privates tenderly and I whimpered a little. Of course, I was fine, but I appreciated it that she always took good care of me, just in case.

She turned back to the table and I jerked toward her with longing.

The minx turned around, bearing a large, white feather. She ran it over my body, eyes glinting with enjoyment as my powerful muscles flexed and released. She teased me with it until I felt ready to burst out of my skin. Then, she stopped.

She put her thumb over my lips. "No biting," she ordered gravely. "There's something I want to try. Keep very, very still."

I was nervous. I nodded curtly, clenching my jaw. Moving by infinitesimally small degrees, Bella leaned in to me, our breath on each others' skin, and applied her mouth carefully to my carotid. She laved my scars.

"Oh, God, Bella!" I cried in shock. I was hyper-aware of her tongue. I arched back, suddenly, mouth open in a silent scream, and venom poured out of my ducts and dripped onto her breasts. Mindful of my instinct to bite, Bella dropped to my feet and ran her tongue up my inner leg and thigh, leaving a pale trail of washed skin in the middle of the blue paint she applied nearly a full day before. I bit my bottom lip.

"Blueberry's good," Bella said coolly, as though she had not just set my body on fire. She bent forward to lick a line up my other leg. Her only answer was a repressed groan. I felt raw.

"Edward? Why are you holding back? Don't withhold your pleasure from me. Nobody is home but us, Love. Make some noise and leave the gentleman outside." Bella zoomed in for the kill, wrapped her soft mouth around my balls, and sucked them hard.

My roar sounded much like that of the panther for which my Ticuna named me. I banged my shoulders back against the cross. It was 4" X 4" oak and that was all that saved it. By the time I heard the thump, I was back under a semblance of control, panting desperately.

Bella put her hands on my hips, lapping everywhere except where I wanted. She made a circuit of my lower body, never stopping anywhere for long. The body paint melted from her drool, bubbling in her venom, and dripped down my legs, and her front, making little polka dots of colour on her skin. Her face was streaky with colour. She climbed up my front, licking where the ropes didn't cover. Eyeing me, judging my control, she leaned in and licked up the large muscle in front of my right underarm.

"Fuck!" I bit my lips, eyes squeezed shut tight.

Bella moved on to my left nipple, tasting the red and white body paint in the center of my chest as she passed. "Yawaruna i mex (The Panther is good)," she told me, running hands and mouth over sensitive skin and leaving lines of fire behind.

Bella watched triumphantly as I writhed, gnashed my teeth and panted her name repeatedly. I was barely lucid, and yet I had not let my words go.

"Let it out," Bella barked.

I keened, grimacing, and shook my head.

"Hold onto your power and let go of your mouth. I want to hear you!" Eyes flashing, she dropped back down and deep throated me, pulling hard.

A snarl ripped out of my throat, and then I was screaming an incoherent stream of gibberish, mixed with the occasional swear word and punctuated with her name. To her delight, I carried on and on, mindless of anything outside her touch. Heedless of the feral noises issuing from me, I came to life under her ministering hands. She knew I would catalogue every iota of attention and my reaction to it, to be saved and savoured for the rest of my days. Bella squeezed and kneaded and swirled and sucked and pumped, until, with a garbled exclamation, I poured myself out into her greedy throat, and sagged against my supports, boneless.

Bella stood up, streaked and polka-dotted all over with food colouring, thrilled. My head was lolling on my right arm, my eyes peacefully shut, my breathing slow and deep. I was relaxing, as I so rarely manage to do. Whispering her love, she ran a thumb over my lips, her hand running through the scratchy hair of my short beard. I leaned into her hand with a deep sigh, and opened eyes that were naked and unashamed before the woman God designed only for me. I sighed with satisfaction as she began to carefully unwind my bonds.

My left arm, which had been bent over my head for at least four hours, dropped like a stone as soon as it was released. Bella caught it handily, under the bicep, and lowered it gently down. She kneaded my shoulder, smoothing the fluid that had collected in my tissues until the black lividity began to fade from my chest. I flexed my hand calmly, which assured her that I was not in any pain.

When it seemed I might regain some control over my limbs, Bella unwound the other arm and got to work on the ropes binding my torso.

I held myself against the wall patiently while Bella unwrapped me. She knew I would soon be able to enfold her in my embrace and thank her properly for liberating me from my head temporarily. I was euphoric. Sated.

Bella was unravelling the last ten feet of rope when my head snapped up.

"Oh, shit!" I yelped, raspy-voiced.

"What is it?"

"Holy Moley! We've gone and done it now. Get your robe and wedding rings on fast, and wipe your mouth. Margery called the cops." I grabbed the remaining ropes and began to unwind them frantically.

"The cops?"

My eyes rolled, even under highly embarrassing circumstances. "Our spinsterly neighbour apparently thought you were killing me."

If it were Em and Rose getting in trouble, we would've been snickering. Were they in trouble, Em and Rose would've been snickering. But we were not Em and Rose. We were the daughter and son-in-law of Law Enforcement, and the arm of The Law was long. For all we knew, it might have extended all the way back to Forks.

"Bitch!" Bella spat uncharacteristically.

o~o~0~o~o

Our heads whipped around as The Knock came at the door. "Go on to the door," I whispered. "I'll be out in a minute."

Bella hurried out to the sitting room, running self-conscious fingers through matted hair.

The pair of officers on the front step were momentarily disconcerted. She looks like she's been playing paintball or something. Only the splatters are smaller. They slapped on their professional masks, standing at ease. "Good morning, ma'am. We received a call about some screaming issuing from your domicile."

Bella ran nervous fingers through her hair, a trick she had picked up from me. The officers took note of her distinctive engagement ring. "Oh," she said lamely. "Sorry. That, um, was my husband. We were... I'll apologize to Margery. We didn't mean to disturb her."

Mr. Robot Cop crossed his arms. "The dispatcher could hear the screaming through the phone, ma'am."

Bella gulped. Rescue me, Edward! "I'm really sorry. We've only been married a couple of months, and we haven't been alone for a long time and we got carried away. Honestly, we will give our apologies to our neighbour. It won't happen again."

"You won't mind if we check on your husband's welfare, will you?" the cop said sternly.

"Uh, no," Bella said, eyes sliding sideways. She looked like a guilt-ridden murderer, attempting to slink away from the scene of a crime. The cops were unimpressed with her compliance. There's definitely something wrong inside. Bella continued to stand in the doorway, blocking it.

"May we come in, ma'am?" one asked slowly, enunciating extra-carefully with eyebrows raised.

"Uh, sure, sure," Bella shrugged as she backed up, and gestured for the officers to come in.

I strolled calmly out of the bedroom wearing my white, terry robe. I was dishevelled, matted, and... paint-splotchy. I had read the officers' minds, and was already prepared for their squicky determination to search the house for dead bodies. "Hello, gentlemen," I said, all velvet and sand, clearing my throat in an attempt to rid myself of 'laryngitis'.

" Mr.?" the older cop asked, turning a new page in his notebook, and licking his pencil.

Oh, shit.

"Cullen. Edward Cullen. And my wife, Bella."

"Edward and Bella Cullen, #23 M- Street, Hanover. Your phone number, please?"

I gave it.

"Now, one of your neighbours reports that beginning at seven o'clock this morning, and continuing for over an hour, the blood-curdling screams of a man have been disturbing her morning rest. And it was not Margery White who called, Mrs. Cullen."

I muttered under my breath. "Oh, yes it was." I could Hear her pacing in her house, wondering if they'd report back to her to say what was amiss. Not that she believed anyone needed help; she was perfectly aware what shenanigans were happening under my roof.

"You don't need to lie, Officer... Reed," Bella said, reading his badge. "We're very embarrassed and we won't argue with the poor lady about it. I forgot to shut Emmett's window, and the noise obviously carried."

"Obviously," Officer Reed said sternly, tapping his pencil against his notepad. "Does your wife beat you, Mr. Cullen?"

Bella turned redder than a fire hydrant. My jaw dropped and then I found myself grinning in delight. I had a mental picture of my 5'4" preggie pear standing over me with a bat, decrying my worthlessness and screaming obscenities. I swallowed laughter, then my lip crept up wickedly. "Only when I ask her to."

Both cops examined us with brows raised. "Uh-huh," Robot Reed said, scribbling in his little book. "So she beats you with your consent?"

Bella snorted, and changed it into a sneeze. I snorted, too, face lighting like a naughty little boy's. "It's consensual sex, yes. We're of age, and we're legally married. I'm sorry we disturbed Margery. I shall take her some flowers and apologize nicely, later today."

"You're students?"

"Yes, sir. Dartmouth. All four of us."

"Who else resides here?" the Officer asked, still scribbling about 'this beautiful, but odd,' pair of kids.

"My elder brother, Emmett, and his wife Rosalie."

"We would like to take a look around the house, please," the Officer asserted, resting a hand on his holster.

"Certainly," I said, looking a little silver. The cop wondered if it were guilt that made this young pervert turn pale. Was I hiding a body? drugs?

"Basement?" the officer asked narrowly.

"There isn't one." Just imagine if they were to find our Safe Room. He would think we were serial killers, for sure.

Reed harrumphed. "Come on, Thompson." The pair headed straight for Em and Rose's room.

They marched around it, making note of the strewn-about contents of Toddy's basket. Reed went over to the window. Margery's tabby cat was sitting on the sill, its twitching tail wrapped up in a plaster. "Where is your brother, Mr. Cullen?"

"Um, I dunno. He and Rose partied all night, and then they went out. Sometimes they go out through the window so they don't run into us." I shrugged, realizing too late that I'd made Em and Rose sound irresponsible. And kind of sketchy.

"This is your older brother, and he still goes out the window?" Reed snarled. What kind of illicit goings-on were happening in this house of debauchery?

"Um, yeah?"

"At six o'clock this morning, Miss White put out her cat. It ... screamed, and she discovered it was injured, necessitating a trip to the Emergency Vet. The vet said its tail looked as though it had been stepped on. Any chance your brother might have stepped on the cat when exiting his window?"

"Very likely, sir. I will visit Miss White, and pay any expenses."

More scribbling ensued.

The cops checked in the bathroom, found nothing, and then invited themselves into our lair. It reeked of sex and silicone rubber. They noticed, first, that the floor was wet. Then, their eyes drank in the BDSM furnishings, the mirrors, the discarded ropes, the vibrator on the floor, the flogger, a mug with dregs of something in it that looked like blood, the table of toys...

Officer Reed turned to us, frowning critically. His rookie partner gaped at everything. Bella's eyes were fastened to the floor. She was redder than a beet. I met Reed's eyes squarely, hiding my nerves. It had occurred to me that perhaps he would start paying attention to the goings-on at #23. Attention from humans in authority is never good.

"Where are your parents, Mr. Cullen?"

I hid my panic under a polite smile. I didn't relish the thought of this getting back to Carlisle.

"In England."

"Do you have a contact number for them?"

"Why?"

"I just think they might want to know how you are behaving at college, Mr. Cullen."

Bella snorted again, then stifled her nervous laughter. If only the cops knew what Dr. Teeth and Milady got up to!

"Um, all our parents except Bella's mother reside in Washington State. But right now, my parents are in England and Bella's dad is on vacation."

"And where does your mother reside?" Reed asked Bella.

"Florida," Bella blurted out. "But she's a free spirit so I doubt you'll get the response you're looking for from her. And Edward's parents are ... never mind." She blushed again.

"His parents are?" Reed pressed.

Bella clears her throat. "Let's just say his parents would be thrilled to find out about this. They think he's too... bookish."

"You're a good student, Mr. Cullen?"

"Yes, sir. Top grades. I'm in my 3rd year of Med School."

"Well, let me give you some free advice, son. Keep your nose clean, so you can support your wife and child. Got it?"

"Yes, sir."

Officer Reed glared at Bella. "Do not ever get carried away, young lady. Domination can quickly translate into abuse. Be careful what you do, in case you ever cross the line and injure him. Charges may be levelled against you. Is it understood?"

"Yes, sir," Bella husked, eyes down. Her face was flaming.

"We're done. I'm letting you off with a warning. If it happens again, you will both be charged with disturbing the peace, and if he is found with bruises, you will be charged with spousal abuse. Remember to keep it under control. Let's go, Thompson. I want a donut."

Rookie Thompson, unlike his paunchy, divorced, cranky senior partner, was young and hot. And bothered. He lingered as his partner left, waiting until he was sure he wouldn't be overheard. "If you ever want to know what can be done with a Billy stick and some handcuffs, gimme a call." He passed me a business card. Bella bit her cheek to keep silent.

We saw them out, shut the door, and collapsed, laughing madly.

"What was he thinking?" Bella asked.

"You don't want to know. I'm a 'Sweet Transvestite, from the Planet Bi-sexual'." I poked my tongue in my cheek and made a rude gesture with it.

Bella keeled over and stuck her feet and hands in the air like a dead bug.

I lay on my belly, on the floor, with my ankles crossed. "Mrs. Cullen, you are a bad, bad woman, warping me with your evil ways."

"And you like me that way."

"So you admit you're guilty of spousal abuse?" I demanded, pushing up onto my hands and toes.

"Oh, yes, Mr. Cullen. I'm a Bad Girl. But you'll have to catch me to punish me."

"Sssswitch!" I growled, and Bella disappeared with a shriek of laughter. When I caught up with her, she was trying to lower the double-hung window in Em and Rose's room without breaking it. Adjusting to vampire muscles is a long process.

"Allow me, Madam." I stood beside Bella, raised an arm gracefully to the latch, and slid the window smoothly shut with a soft thud.

"Show off," Bella grumbled, looking at me like I was something to eat. Oh, she already did that. Hah.

"Mmm," I said, eyes honing in on her mouth. Something caught Bella's eye, and she startled. I turned and looked out the window. Old biddy Margery White was glaring from the window opposite, tapping her foot, with her arms crossed.

known they would be like the bunch on the other side of my home. Kids these days can't keep anything private that's supposed to be private. Noise at all hours! And my poor Snookums lost a whole two inches of his tail. If my Eldon were here…

I wiggled my fingers at her with an apologetic smile. She grabbed her curtains and shut them sharply. "Oh, boy," I mumbled.

"Mocha-chino?" Bella asked tentatively.

"Yes, Dearest?" I said, eyes on the neighbour's window. She was now remembering her husband, her son, and the best friend who had lived in our house for almost fifty years.

"I'm very naughty."

"Yep. You fit right in with this family."

"I think I need a spanking."

I turned my back on my neighbour's problems, but resolved to come up with something later. "Mrs. Cullen, I'm going to turn you OTK."

"On to Kink?" she asked, brow raised.

I clicked my tongue at her. "No, no, Dearest. Over The Knee."

"Oh, help." She grinned and turned to run. Of course, there wasn't much space to run. I had her in no time, slung casually under my arm like an oversized football.

Bella squealed and wriggled, hanging onto my leg out of desperation. "Lemme go!"

"Oh. You want me to drop you on your head?" I asked smoothly. "Just because you look like you swallowed a basketball doesn't mean you'll bounce like one."

"You cad. I shall never think of you as a gentleman again!" Bella tried ineffectually to smack me as she tipped practically upside down. She actually put her hands on the floor and walked on them to keep from tipping ass over teakettle. She giggled with glee.

"Thank you for your assistance, Mrs. Wheelbarrow. You're making my job ever so much easier."

"Brat!" she snarled, trying to reach the ticklish spot on my inner thigh. I evaded her fingers easily.

"Admittedly." Not for the first time, I wondered if we should move the furniture. The spanking bench was pretty close to the window. Considering a cop might begin keeping an eye on us, it might not be the best idea to leave it there. I decided to discuss it with Bella. Later.

Navigating the mess, I stepped up to the spanking bench. I placed a pillow neatly on the upper tier of the bench and arranged my wife on it with no difficulty whatsoever: knees on the lower bench, boobs and head on the upper. Her robe was no more. Shredded. Oops. Carefully, I picked up her dangling pink and blue corset ties and stuck them under the edge of the corset waist, where no harm could come to them.

I took a long, pale blue chiffon scarf from the drawer of Bella's bedside table and tied her middle to the bench. None of the leather belts fit around her anymore. I stood back and admired the view: orange and green edible paint, with a far more delicious bulls-eye in the middle.

"Oh, you big, scary monster! are you gonna beat me, Dom Cullen?"

I ironed Bella's backside with my palm and gave one of her cheeks a light smack with my cupped hand. It made more noise than impact.

"Ow," Bella wailed melodramatically. "Why are you punishing me? You like me naughty. Don't spank me, I beg you!"

I brought my hand down on her other cheek, frowning mendaciously. "I most certainly will. Somebody had to keep you in line. Getting me in trouble like that. I never got in trouble 'til you came along, Brat."

"Oxo. ¿Õ̴ẽxna (Oho. was that so)?" Bella drawled. "Speakeasies, and smoking, and gallivanting around with Laurie, and beating up Jane, and wiping out—"

Smack! "Tama (Stop)! One more peep out of your mouth, and you won't sit down for a week!"

My naughty girl peeked at me. "Peep!" A trickle of moisture ran down her inner thigh.

"Grr!" I warned, capturing it and rubbing it in.

"Just one question, o apex predator?"

"What?" I frowned unconvincingly.

"I thought you were going to turn me over your knee."

Smack! "I thought I was going to wait all day to fuck you too, but it seems I overestimated my self-control." Smack!

"Awwwww..." Smack! "Ow! Watch it, Naughty." Smack! "Ungh!"

"Mmm. Pot calls kettle!" Tugging the scarf undone, I flipped Bella in my arms, sat on the bed, and turned her over my knee. It took some manoeuvring, since Ren was completely in the way. Bella ended up hanging onto the bottom bedpost for dear life with my knee under her upper body and my other knee under her pubic bone. Ren dangled in the middle while Bella's toes scrambled for purchase on the rug.

"Well, well. Lookie here. I can still take you, Spitfire!"

"Edward!" she howled, her giggles threatening to send her to the floor, " You are..."

"In charge. Say it, Minx."

"Mmm. I don't think so. It's not 1918, you know."

"I've noticed," I said, eyes rolling. "In 1918, I'd have been arrested for all this." I delivered a series of increasingly hard smacks to each of her butt cheeks, and admired their pinkness. I smoothed the skin with cool fingers and my little monster purred and wiggled her bum at me. Placing my hand carefully at the bottom of her backside, evenly split between her cheeks, I began to deliver measured taps, hard enough to set her glutes to quivering, but not hard enough to chafe the skin. Bella moaned and her eyes rolled back in her head a little. Once in a while, I stopped to caress her skin, and soothe it, but then I resumed the rhythm.

After a time, Bella moaned and climaxed onto my hand. I rubbed her back, smearing the orange body paint, and wrote 'E C was here' on her ass. Bella snorted. She'd been able to read my 'skin writing' for a couple of months.

I began to laboriously undo her corset ties.

"Dyäwë nangecuma (The Deer loves you)." Bella squirmed ineffectually under my grip.

"Ngü (Yes)," I agreed smugly. Tug, tug, tug at those pesky laces, o apex predator. "Dyäwë nangechama, because I give her multiple orgasms within very short periods of time."

"Okay. Uncle," she gasped eagerly, ceasing her escape attempts. "I give."

"What do you 'give', Bella?"

"You... are-in-charge,"

The promise of multiple orgasms, respectfully offered, will cause even the fiercest mate to surrender.

I flipped her onto the bed, and hurriedly loosened the laces under her belly. When they were all loose, I pulled her gently to her feet.

"I'm glad we established that," I said, cocky in the extreme. In two senses. Hah. Gently, I took hold of the corset and pulled upward. Bella stood before me, wearing only Rose's thin chemise. I skinned her out of that, too. "That's better." I slipped out of my robe.

"Arrogant!" she gasped, poking me in the abs.

"Guilty. But can you blame me? I have the minxiest" kiss "most generous" kiss "cutest" kiss "most fun" kiss "wife on the planet. Holy cow. I live for nearly 103 years without really living. And now, there's never a dull moment. How great is that?" I stroked her thick hair lovingly.

"Just... let's not get caught with our pants down again, okay? I wouldn't put it past that stick-in-the-mud officer to call our parents. I don't want to have that kind of discussion with Charlie. Or even Carlisle. We'd never live it down."

"Better one of our fathers than Renée," I traced a finger around Bella's paint-covered areola. "Forget about it. As long as we don't attract attention, I don't think Reed will bother us. We're just going to have to be more circumspect from now on."

"Mm." Bella nodded.

"Minx?"

"Yes, Love?"

"It's my turn to give."

"I have no problem with that kind of gift." She looped an arm around my neck.

I sat on the bed and drew my wife between my knees. I had been curious about one thing for almost 24 hours: how was that black tarantula going to taste? I eagerly sucked Bella's nipple into my mouth and swirled my tongue through the thick paint and candy. And recoiled, shuddering.

"What's wrong?" Bella blinked nervously.

I snatched up her ruined robe, and spit out black ooze, face screwed up tight.

"Oh," I shuddered. "That looked much better than it tastes."

"What flavour was it?" Bella asked, kind of blown out of the water by the intensity of my reaction. There were certain flavours I don't care for, like anybody, but I had never actually spit one out before.

"Licorice."

"Oh, Sweetheart. Black licorice is something a lot of people don't like. I didn't know that was the flavour, or I would have recommended against it." She stroked through my tangled mop of hair.

"Yuck!" I shook my head vigorously. "Well, now I know. At least your other boob is raspberry."

"Mmm. Well, you'd better wash off the black so it doesn't get mixed up. Besides, you can't suck one side and not the other. It must be in balance."

"Maybe I like you off-balance, Mrs. Cullen."

"I can see the attraction in that, husband. But looking at you covered in black drool is kind of revolting. Go rinse your mouth out, but don't use any toothpaste. Mint makes oranges taste bitter."

"Oh, really?" The chemical effects of human food were completely incomprehensible. They raised all sorts of scientific questions that made me long for discussions with Carlisle.

"Move it. You promised you would 'kiss it better' and lick me all over."

"Yes, ma'am."

I flew to the bathroom and grabbed a new toothbrush out of the huge stash in the cupboard. Venom's unkind to the bristles, so the brushes never last long. I looked at my reflection in shock. Black teeth, lips, and chin made me look as though I'd been dead a few decades. Charming. Scrubbing only with water (which does not taste so hot by itself), I got rid of all the horrible black. I threw out the brush, then heated up and rolled a wash cloth to bring back to my wife.

"Better?"

I hurriedly flapped out the washcloth and applied it gently to her boob.

"Yes, ma'am," I sang, steadily mopping away black paint.

"Good. No more black body paint! You don't look good rotting."

"Yeah, I know, right? Totally makes me look my age."

"Gross, Cullen! Actually, you seem seventeen most of the time, and your normal, youthful look totally suits your bubbly personality. I am not married to a geriatric. Most of the time. Nor am I into necrophilia."

I snorted. Bubbly? As if. "Glad I can fulfill your requirements, Madam. Now can we get back to the good stuff? The touching?" kiss "Compliments?" kiss "The touching?" kiss "How 'bout I drive you crazy?"

"Most certainly, yes." She spread her legs for me.

"I love my life," I said for the umpteenth time, kissing Bella's neck, and chucked the washcloth on the floor.

"Me, too." Bella put her thumbs on my lips and traced them lovingly. I allowed her to pull me down beside her for a searing kiss.

Sufficiently heated, I abandoned her mouth and licked down to her collarbone, then onto the white bib of the 'top'. "Well, vanilla's good," I said between licks. I tried a swipe of the gold sugar crystals, and stopped to crunch them. "Lemon's good too, but I'm not sure I like the texture." Chewing does not come naturally to vampires. We have to practise it.

"Hmm," Bella traced the outline of my ear.

Of course I was ready to tease her. She left me tied up for hours without so much as a lick, for Pete's sake!

Instead of moving back to her nipple, I drooled a trail down her tummy and helped myself to some apple-green leaves. Delicious. Taking a circuitous route, I finally ended up at her belly button, which I lapped at ever-so-lightly, both to torment her, and to keep from damaging her belly button ring. Now that I had Bella all nice and smeary, wherever should I tease her next? Hmm. Maybe warm up the boobs.

"Raspberry. Yum," I purred, licking progressively closer to Bella's nipple. Finally, I took it in my mouth and pulled hard. She moaned, holding me there by the back of my neck. Gasping, I came up for air, pulling the other breast, flavoured only of Bella, into my mouth. Rolling my tongue under her breast in hopes of sampling more orange-flavoured paint, I sucked hard, and something unexpected happened. I drew back from my wife in shock, released her tit with a 'pop, gulped and nearly choked.

"Hey, I wasn't finished with you yet!" She caught my mood and tensed. "Edward?"

"Um," I blushed hard. "Bella, I..."

"What? What is it? Did I do something wr—"

"Oh, hon', of course not." I chuckled. "Just caught me by surprise, that's all," I flushed again.

"Wha—"

"Look," I said gently, placing the tip of my finger on her nipple. It was wet.

"At what?" Bella asked, uncomprehending.

"Bella, you're ... leaking." I was fascinated.

"I am? As in, colostrum?"

"Whatever passes for it." I stared at the clear, watery bead of fluid.

Bella gave me a little push and sat up, and the milk substitute plopped off her nipple onto her leg. "Wow."

"Big wow," I agreed, kneeling between her knees.

Bella pulled on her nipple. Nothing happened. She took both hands and squeezed her boob like a ketchup bottle. Nothing happened. "How did you get it out?"

"Um, I was running my tongue on the underside, and I ... sucked ... it."

How the heck does it work? Bella wrapped both hands around her boob like it was a burger, and squeezed. The tiniest drop of moisture beaded out.

"Cool!" we yelled in stereo and then snickered a little. We're such nerds.

"Try pulling down it," I suggested. Hey, it works with cows.

"Okay," Bella agreed, and rolled her thumbs forward as she pinched. A tiny jet of clear fluid flew out and hit me on the chest, startling us both. We gaped at each other in delight and started to chortle.

"Oh, Bella! That was amazing!"

"Cool, right?"

"Do it again!"

Grabbing the other boob, she pinched and rolled, and narrowly avoided squirting me in the eye. We shrieked with laughter and I jumped up and gave her a tight squeeze. "I have my own squirt gun!" I teased.

"Brat! Wonder why I've got it so early?"

"Probably because you're so much healthier than our foundlings. Happens to human women all the time. We'd best get you some liners for your bras."

"So what's it taste like?"

"I dunno…" I evaded her gaze. "Nice."

"I dare you to taste it again!"

I didn't know where to put myself. "Minx! That's for the baby!"

Bella looked around the room meaningfully. "Whadda you know? No baby yet. Go on, taste it. I bet it's something you can stomach."

I pinched my eyes shut. "Minx."

Bella pulled down my hand. "I triple-dog-dare ya."

I let my hand fall and just stared at her. How could she? I had never turned down a triple-dog-dare. Not. Ever. Vampires find dares pretty well-nigh irresistible. I put out my hand toward Bella's boob and dropped it. I put it out again, but my fingers drooped.

I put my hand out a third time, grasped it, and let go like I was burned. "Don't you dare tell Rosalie!"

Bella nearly swallowed her tongue trying not to cackle. "I won't."

"Good." I reached out a fourth time, to caress the object of the dare. I leaned in, ever-so-slowly.

"But Alice will," Bella told me.

"Geez!" I retreated to pinch my nose again.

"I read on the Internet that some women suckle their husbands."

I rested my forehead on Bella's tummy. "Shit…"

"Come on, Edward! Who's going to know? Windows and doors are shut and locked. I'm not going to tell, and you made Alice promise not to Look at what we do. So just do it."

"No."

"Do you think it's gross?"

"No," I said curtly. "I already said it was nice."

"Then just try it, for curiosity's sake."

"No."

"Yes."

"No," I said hotly.

"Yes."

"Why?" I demanded.

"Why not?"

"Because it doesn't seem... proper," I tried to bore a hole through my wife with my eyeballs, to make her understand.

"Edward."

"Yes?"

"Edward. You swallow my jizz."

"Yes." I had to be the colour of the Volvo again.

"Sometimes, you drink my blood."

"So?" I asked defensively.

"So how is this any different?" Bella asked gently.

"Why don't you taste it yourself if you want to know what it's like? I haven't eaten human food –food I can enjoy, at any rate— in nearly a century. I don't want to."

"Fine. Cup your hand under, and we'll try and catch some."

I stuck my hand out and Bella squirted some drops of the pearly liquid in it. I was transported to the time in Seattle, before we were married, when I had ejaculated into her palm for the first time. She had moved as though she was going to taste it and I had panicked and run before I could pounce on her.

Bella brought my hand up to her face and licked it. "Mmm… Hey, it tastes like cream," she said happily, licking my hand until every drop of milk(?) was gone. "Really. Try it! Think of it as a scientific experiment."

Despite my resolve, I was starting to feel less reticent and more amorous. Perhaps that had something to do with Bella's hand-licking.

"Pleeease?" she begged. Dangerous creature.

I dropped my head in defeat. I was whipped. Totally whipped.

I wrapped my arms around Bella and drew her close, sighing deeply. I nuzzled her chest, breathing in her unusual new scent, and ran my lips gently over her nipple. Bella gently stroked my hair, watching almost ... tenderly.

Without warning, I took Bella's breast into my mouth, just as I had always done. Trying not to feel like a total perv, I pressed my tongue firmly against the bottom of her breast and sucked. Firmly.

Warm fluid trickled under my tongue. It was sweet, and thick, and tasted like ... well, I had no frame of reference. But it somehow seemed... wholesome.

"Yeah. Closest you're ever going to get to whipped cream," Bella stroked my hair. I took another swallow, and then it was gone. I drew back shyly.

"How was that?"

"Good," I admitted quietly.

"See? Nothing wrong with that. Can you do me a favour?" She continued to stroke my hair.

"What?"

"Well, it's really silly, but now the other side feels tight. Relieve the pain, will you, before it gets any worse?" She looked sincere.

"It does look... swollen." My quick breaths tickled Bella as I again ducked my head and wrapped my mouth around her rather engorged tissues. I swallowed, and pulled. Three times. Four. Gone. New babies don't need much. Again, I drew back. I didn't know how I should be feeling. I liked it but didn't that make me a pervert? But lying about it would make me a hypocrite. Was it not safe to be honest with Bella?

"Wow. Thank you, Love. That feels... better." Bella was giving me an excuse and I knew it. A couple of drops of the colostrum dripped down onto her belly. I kissed them off. I raised my eyes to meet hers, slowly.

Bella seized my arms and gasped, pulling me close so quickly that we almost knocked heads. She gawped at me like a fish.

I panicked and tried to stand but she held me firm. "What's the matter?" I yelped.

Bella gawped some more and two fat tears ran down her cheeks. She took my scruffy, paint-marred cheeks in her hands and stared.

"Bella! You're scaring me!" I put my hands around her wrists.

"Your eyes," she husked. "Oh my God!" She ran her fingers over my face in wonder.

I tried again to get up and Bella pulled me down, shushing me. She was crying in earnest and I was losing my mind. She pulled me in for a tight hug and kissed my throat.

"Please talk to me, Bella, before I go mad!" I started to shiver.

Bella laughed and sobbed. "I understand it now."

"What do you understand?" I wished to God that I understood!

"Theofilo's eyes. It's diet. He was the only hybrid baby with red eyes, and he was the only baby in our family without a mother to nurse him. All the other babies have eyes like their mothers'. We need the camera. Before it fades."

I was lost. "Why do we need the camera?"

Bella smoothed her fingers over my brows and lips, and cupped my cheeks, and smiled tremulously at me. "Edward. Your eyes. They've gone back to your original colour. They are so beautiful. So beautiful, my love."

Gobsmacked, I pushed away, ran to the bathroom and flipped on the light. I knew why Bella was gaping at me, because I was gaping, too. I was pale, as usual. There was the hint of a tired-looking smudge under my eyes. My lips were unusually pink. My hair was crazy and bronze. My chin sported a short, rather scruffy beard that I had only been wearing since the middle of August. And my eyes... were green. I leaned on the counter and stared. And thought. And recognized an old friend: Edward Anthony Masen.

I was still me.

Bella walked up beside me, her red eyes devouring me and my reflection. How often had she wished that she could have known the exact colour of my human eyes! And now, she did.

I slowly reached out and touched my reflection. I couldn't be imagining it, because Bella could see it, too. "Hello, Masen," I breathed. "Guess you're not gone forever, after all."

"Of course he isn't. He's just a little stronger, and better looking," Bella teased.

I rolled my very green eyes. They were bright as verdant grasses in my Meadow, flecked with gold. Carlisle was wrong, they weren't like Mother's. I clung to the countertop in shock. "I can –My mother. Hers were softer. Like moss."

"Were they?" Bella murmured.

"Yes. The flecks in hers weren't gold. They were blue. Teal. It made them look... greyer."

"That's wonderful, Love," Bella said, her voice tearful. "I wonder how many years I can keep my milk supply going."

"Huh? No, Dearest." I smiled a bit sadly. "I can't keep them this colour."

"Why not?" Looking otherworldly didn't bother her, but she knew it bothered me.

I sighed, embraced my wife, and looked at her fondly. I felt older. More mature. "Because, my sweet, we couldn't let other vampires see. Just think, if Trads saw me like this. They might decide to obtain themselves a source of milk."

The implications were frightening.

"I get to take your picture, though, right?" Bella checked.

"Yes. Mind if I tidy up, first?"

"Not unless I can tidy up, too. I'm starting to itch." She grimaced.

"I'm not done licking you."

"You want more orange flavouring?"

"Well, not really. You can wash. But be aware that I expect to lick you later."

"Deal."

We stepped into the shower and quickly removed all the remaining traces of body paint. We washed each other's hair with Bella's strawberry shampoo, and slithered my sandalwood soap over our skins before scrubbing down with a loofah. I decided it was time to spring a flirty joke I'd been working out in my head. If I were to replace the word 'refuse' with 'abuse' in a song I knew, Bella would be in pleats. I was certain of it. I grasped Mr. Ed firmly by the head, and manipulated my skin so he would 'sing.'

"Hello, my Baby, hello, my Honey, hello my Ragtime Doll

Send me a kiss by wire.

Baby, my heart's on fire!

If you abuse me,

Honey, you'll lose me.

Then you'll be left alone.

So come on telephone,

And tell me you're my own!"

As I expected, Bella slayed herself laughing, all doubled-up. I am the man.

There was a squeak and the sound of a window sliding up. Em and Rose were home.

As usual, I stepped out of the shower first, wrapped myself in a towel, and obtained three for Bella: one for her hair, one for her upper body and one for Ren.

"Best Hallowe'en ever, Mr. Cullen."

"I agree. But next year's going to be even more fun. We can dress the baby up, and—"

"What could be more fun than a BDDS all-nighter with a side of Rocky Horror, Green Eyes? Next year's gonna be tame."

"Tame? With you?" I laughed a rather dirty laugh as we scooted into our room.

"You won't be playing dungeon games with a baby around."

"Minx, that's what babysitters are for."

"Hm. Let's put on some nice clothes and get Rose to take some proper pictures."

"Okay."

"I have an idea. We could show them to people and say it's your brother. What do you think?"

"I'm not sure if they'd buy it. Everybody in Forks thinks I wear gold contacts."

"You look much older with the beard."

I scratched my chin. "Yeah, I'll be shaving it off once we're back home. We'll see what everybody thinks."

We primped ourselves with more than the usual care. After all, how often in the future would our bodies change?

Twenty minutes after discovering my green eyes, we headed for the sitting room, hand in hand. We stopped near the kitchen counter, grinning like a pair of Cheshire Cats. I was wearing a crisp white dress shirt and black trousers, and Bella was wearing a midnight blue, short dress with dress heels. She had on smoky eye shadow, and her hair fell over one eye in a smooth sheet.

Emmett and Rosalie obviously found somewhere to bathe. They were dressed in clean, designer jeans and Dartmouth sweatshirts. Rose was busily towelling her hair dry. The pair looked at us and their smiles morphed into shock. His eyes!

"What the fuck?" Emmett asked weakly. He and Rose sidled up to me and invaded my personal space. I let them. "What have you done now!" Emmett demanded. I smiled bashfully.

"You can't tell anyone how," I said solemnly, and Emmett nodded vigorously.

"Bella and I were playing and I accidentally swallowed some of her colostrum. It has to be the reason why the Hybrids' eyes look human, but this must be kept secret in case Trads start trying to keep lactating females."

"Well, that explains a lot," Emmett said simply. "You're gonna tell Carlisle, right?"

"Guess so. Anyhow, Rose? Will you take our picture?"

"Of course," Rose jumped up to fetch her camera. Miraculously, she was not jealous. If I want to have my original eye colour, I can always wear coloured contact lenses.

"I wonder how long the colour will last," Bella said.

I lifted a shoulder. "Be over by tomorrow."

"How do you know?"

"Easy. The Demented Fairy said I'm meeting Joe and Tabby for coffee tomorrow, so the colour will be back to normal by then."

I wasn't bothered by the impending loss. I had seen myself and my mother again, clearly, and neither individual was gone. I was alive. Changed, but still myself inside. My half-brother had left heirs to carry the Masen name so I didn't have to worry about that. Edward Anthony Masen Cullen would have his own heirs. Grandchildren, perhaps, someday.

Bella was right. I was a very blessed man. Warmth spread through me and my energy levels surged.

Rose took a huge number of pictures of me and Bella, together and separately. Then, Bella took pictures of Em and Rose cuddled up on the couch.

"Why does the exciting shit always happen to you?" Emmett asked me while Rose uploaded the photos to the computer.

I shrugged, not wanting to sound like a sappy date. "Bella says God loves me."

Emmett looked at me, and shook his head. "Somebody loves you, Tough Guy."

The corners of my mouth tipped up. "Yeah. There was a little too much excitement here this morning, though."

"Of what nature?" Emmett leered.

"Em-mett! First, it appears you stepped on Margery's cat, causing it bodily harm."

"Damn thing's always on our windowsill."

"Yeah, well, we're all going over today to apologize. We need a nice bouquet of flowers, and some cash. A 'you're a great neighbour' card probably wouldn't hurt either, seeing as she hates me, now."

"Why does she hate you, Little Brother?" Emmett asked narrowly. Once in a rare while, he channels Esme.

"Um, let's just say Bella and I got carried away, early this morning, and made some noise. Margery called the cops. They searched the house. One of them wanted to have sex with me that involves his Billy stick, and the other one wanted to throw Bella's ass in jail for spousal abuse. Oh, it was a thrilling morning, Brother. Let me tell you."

"So lemme get this straight: This weekend, you and Bella went out with us, dressed in body paint, to a frat kegger, Tabby's house, Hot Toddy's Deplorable House of Depravity, and let's not forget trick or treat. Oh, and you wore a collar for Jazz, and met his friend Thalia."

"Yeah, may I point out that you did all those things, too?"

"Granted. Except the collar. Which is pretty bent. I may not be able to call you a bluenose anymore."

"Thank you."

"Then, you made use of Toddy's toys, and probably your own kinky furniture, disturbed the old battle axe next door and got a visit and a dressing down from the cops, not to mention another proposition, and then you and Bella had more ginchy sex and experimented and you ended up with a human eye colour?"

"Yes."

"It's bloody nice, by the way."

I beamed. "Thank you. That pretty much sums it up, Emmett. Oh, and the cops said if they ever have to come here again they're calling our parents."

Emmett gaped, finally tipped over the edge into a state of alarm. "You're grounded. You and Bella, both."

I laughed, delighted. "Hey, Bella? You hear that? We're grounded."

"Can we be grounded to our bedroom, Emmett? Edward made me a promise he hasn't fulfilled yet, and after he does, we're going to have a lot of cleaning to do," Bella said from the computer, where she was choosing pictures to send to Esme. She and I smouldered at each other so hard it's a wonder the entire house didn't catch fire.

Emmett gaped at my formerly shy mate. Then, he turned irritably back to me. "Edward?"

"Yes, Brother?"

Wait for it...

Wait for it...

"You are one Insufferable Little Shit!"

o~o~0~o~o

A short excerpt from Moms on Missions by Jess Molly Brown, available on Kindle and KU.

(If you've read it, may I ask you to leave a review on Amazon? It doesn't need to be fancy. "I like it" is plenty. 50 reviews would allow my book to show up next to similar books. Thanks.)

The door clicks shut softly behind Vince. Paeng is sitting at the table, eating toast and peanut butter. He glances at Vince curiously. "What did she want?"

"To rip off my 'nads and force-feed them to me." Vince sinks into the chair opposite. "I am the screw-up of all screw-ups. I am the king of the idiot world." He bangs his forehead down on the table and Paeng's peanut-butter covered knife pings off the table onto the floor. "If all the losers on the planet got together to live in one city, they would name it after me."

"Can't be that bad." Paeng shrugs, retrieving the knife. "What did you do?" He scrapes more peanut butter on his toast.

Vince sits up with his fists curled on the table and looks at him candidly. "Last night, I wanted to hang the drop cloth out on the line, so I took in her laundry."

Paeng eyes him in confusion. "But, that was . . . nice."

Vince's head droops. "Well, I got some paint on one of her bras, and she accused me of snogging it."

His housemate snorts. "Were you?"

Vince squirms uncomfortably. "No, but . . ."

Paeng is incredulous. "Dude."

"I may have admired it a little."

"How?"

Vince can't look at Paeng. "Wash smells pretty off the line. Fresh air, flowery detergent, you know."

"How did you paint get on it?"

"Um . . ." Vince swallows hard.

Paeng leans back and rests his hand flat on the table. "Vince."

Blushing, he snaps at his friend. "I dropped the bra on the wet tarp and I guess I must have accidentally gotten paint on it and touched it to my cheek, okay?"

Paeng is silent as Vince sighs. "I didn't mean to take my upset out on you, sorry."

"No big. So, you fondled it. Was it good for you?" Paeng's eyes glitter, making Vince's anxiety flare.

"I couldn't help myself! The girl's smoking hot and yet she doesn't appear to own trashy underwear." He feels all dreamy just thinking about it. "It's simple and soft . . . it felt so nice. She's not like any of the girls I've met before. She's direct, feisty and artistic and I bet she's really smart. She's nothing like the usual MOM Girl and she's not even my type. But her underwear is beautiful. She doesn't wear slutty underwear because she doesn't put on airs, and oh, God, that's so attractive. What I wouldn't give to see—"

Paeng face palms Vince. "Dude. You are waxing poetic about cotton underwear like my sisters wear when they get their periods. It's just underwear."

o~o~0~o~o

A short excerpt from Cats & Dogs, coming November 2016.

"I don't like him, Hart," Nathan growled. Steve Crawford was a manipulative, whiny jerk who'd probably spend all evening trying to get her drunk.

"Well, that's nothing new. You don't like anybody I date."

"Julia," he huffed, putting his hands on his hips.

She was undeterred. "I'm well aware that you're allowed to whore yourself away in college, but I'm—"

"Actually I'm n—"

She shot him a scathing look. "So who gives the best head, Brooks?"

He stared at her in blatant disbelief, and then burned red enough to light the entire Olympic peninsula. "That's—"

"I'm on the pill."

"Huh?"

"I'm giving Steve my virginity."

"What?" His heart pounded in his throat.

"I'm going to let Steve break me in." She shrugged. "We're all renting hotel rooms after prom, and—"

"No," he said hotly. "No, Jules."

"Why not?" she asked blandly. "I want to get it over with." She took a sip of her cola, her mesmerizing lips wrapped in an O around the bottle.

Nathan's blood boiled. "No! You can't!"

"It's my hymen. I most certainly can!"

"But I've been waiting—" He checked himself, hanging his head.

"What?" she asked softly.

"Nothing." He crammed his hands into his jeans pockets. She crossed the deck to him, stepping closer… closer, to peek up into his eyes. He was a good foot taller than she was, and he was determined not to look at her.

"What?" she coaxed, the hint of a smile lurking at the corners of her mouth.