Your name is ROSE LALONDE. This has been your name your entire life, though it was solidified when you were 13, some 12 years ago now. A lot has happened in those 12 years. You have either saved or destroyed the universe (you're never quite sure which), experienced more than your fair share of grimdark magic, become friends with aliens who possess an unfortunate tendency to contact you out of order in your timeline, and perhaps most importantly, you have fallen in love. Through all this you have miraculously survived with both your sarcasm and your mind mostly intact.
All of this assists in explaining why you are currently wearing a light pink wedding dress with a black squiddle on the front. You marvel that you are getting married at all; firstly because you still can't believe you're alive, secondly because you can't believe you actually love someone who loves you back, and thirdly because you always thought weddings were kind of stupid. But Earth is gone, and so is the vast majority of humanity, and this fact alone warms you to some of your former planet's traditions. Your wedding, of course, will be vastly different from most Earth weddings. There will be no white dresses, no preacher, no church, and no groom.
Your name is Rose Lalonde. Tonight, that will no longer be true.
Your name is KANAYA MARYAM. As with Rose, this has been your name your entire life, all 12 sweeps of it. You are currently sewing the finishing touches on your wedding dress, because of course you made Rose's first. This is Rose's tradition, after all, and it's not one you really understand. But Rose is your matesprit, and you are more than happy to do this for her. After all, you sort of like the idea, which Rose said was all about making an official promise to each other. Rose knows you will never leave her, and you know Rose will never leave you, yet this somehow means more than that. You don't really understand how.
You are standing in your sewing room. Rose is getting dressed upstairs in your bedroom, another concept that is new to you. The hive you share with Rose is designed to be comfortable for both of you, which makes for an interesting amalgam of slime and human comforts, such as food and water and the like. You are quite fond of your new hive.
The dress you have just completed is red with green accents, a color combination you are particularly fond of. The ceremony will begin just after sundown to insure the comfort of your fellow trolls, though both you and Rose would have been just fine in the daylight. You don't need to worry about visibility at night. You will provide more than sufficient light to allow even Dave, who still refuses to remove his shades, to see clearly. There are benefits to glowing.
You are ready. Nervous, but ready.
Your name is JADE HARLEY, and you are watching two of your best friends get married. You are undeniably happy with this, as are you content with the clearing in the woods, the lack of officiant, and the casual atmosphere of the ceremony. Rose and Kanaya stand in front of all of you, all of the survivors, in beautiful dresses you are certain Kanaya made, and promise each other their lives. There is nothing sarcastic about Rose today, and her characteristic sarcasm has waned significantly over the years. You understand this. All of you have been through hell and back, all of you have been taken from a world of safety and games and jokes and dumped into a place where your every action directly impacts the probability of you and your friends making it out alive. There was no time to be sarcastic anymore; each conversation could have been your last.
Then the ceremony is over and Rose and Kanaya are kissing and you are standing up and clapping, almost overwrought with emotion. You look around and see that everyone is, and that there is in fact what could possibly be a tear slipping out from under Dave's sunglasses.
Your name is ROSE MARYAM LALONDE, and you are kissing your wife. The ceremony is over and you are back at home, your lips moving comfortably against Kanaya's, your body conforming to hers as it has so many times before. The two of you fit together perfectly, you think, and as Kanaya rests her forehead on yours the look on her face reflects your own emotions.
"Are You Happy?" she whispers.
"Yes, I am. I..." you falter for a moment. You can feel what you want to say, but you aren't sure there are English words that allow you to say it.
She backs away, tilting her head as she does when deep in thought. Her hand reaches out, brushes your hair behind your ear, caresses your face. "Yes?"
"I love you. And I love this dress, but would you please get me out of it?"
Her face breaks in to a grin, and you can see the points of her teeth
Your name is KANAYA LALONDE MARYAM, and you are running naked down the hall in a desperate attempt to find your bucket.