Hello everyone! I'm so sorry for not updating for so long! MY laptop spoiled, after it repair everything was gone… my games… and yay my exams are over so now I can write more! (I hope?) I make a few changes (the note changed to something else) thanks to my friend who helped me edit this!
Read and Review thanks!
Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail. If I did… I wonder what would I do to the characters...
Chapter 1: Leaving…
I love you, that why I'm letting you go
I'm done being sad over you. I have enough stress without you adding to it and I won't let you be the reason for my tears.
("Do you love him?")
A blonde haired teen sat on her couch, her knees leaning against her chest, gloved hands hugging her legs. Memories of the talk she had with the white haired teen was burning in her mind.
She was broken and she laughed at her current state. Yet, crystal – like tears were also dripping down her eyes. How ironic life is, to be broken by the very man who swore – promised that he would protect her.
Her laughter came to a stop after a while but the tears continue to flow, its funny how her tears wouldn't dry despite the fact that she's been crying for two months since. She no longer have the strength anymore, to wipe off her tears was becoming a daily routine, now she couldn't even go to guild.
And she truly misses her friends. But somehow it wasn't enough to make her go see them because she knew that he will be there.
The man who caused everything – the pain she's feeling and maybe she's with him too… does he even know that she hasn't been going to guild? Did he realize how much he caused? Probably not. Since all this time he didn't even come and see her.
Seriously, how can he protect everything from her but himself?
So weak, so powerless.
Yes, she is weak and powerless to protect herself, always needing him and she couldn't stop the feelings she has for him. She did not know when these feelings were formed, it just… there and funny, she didn't notice it until… someone else came.
("I…I love him")
Her body trembling without her realizing; how she wished she could just hate him or his childhood friend – the one who 'came back to life'. And the funny thing was, she couldn't, hell, she still loves him. So much that it hurt.
Yet another ironic fact of life.
How did she fall in love with someone who is an idiot fire breather, she doesn't know. Love… was something she never experienced before and the first time already hurt so much that she wonders if she could fall for someone else.
Maybe someone who isn't an idiot.
Someone who isn't a dragon slayer.
Someone who doesn't have a "lover".
Someone who loves her as much as she loves him.
Someone…who is not him.
But she knew, deep inside her, there are no other guys she would love. After all, the guys on street always look at her with lust filled gazes. How could she fall for someone who wants her body more than her heart?
Perhaps she is cursed, to never have a partner for the rest of her life. Is she going to be alone forever? There's no answer to that, she could only wait and see.
("I…need to know, if you love him too…")
Don't ask me that…! She clenched her teeth, I can't answer that, when… when I know he loves you… but she did, answer the question, not following her heart and she needed so badly to just scream and shout for that mistake, she was going mad by seconds. The memories of him looking at her with eyes so loving and determine. Strangely… he had never looked at her that way.
A feeling she didn't know, a feeling that still wouldn't let her hate them, a feeling… that is killing her from inside.
And she could only hate herself.
For being weak, powerless and jealous of her – someone he loves and someone she couldn't hate.
("I'm going to confess to him soon…" Her blue eyes shine out never ending happiness and a light pink blush was spread on her cheeks.)
Why must you look like that way after you said that…? How can she have the heart to hurt her? In her mind, the two of them were holding hands and laughing happily together.
"Stop…" She murmured, "Don't show me that…" Her words repeated in her mind, over and over again like a broken radio. "I don't want to hear it…!" Her hands', shaking went and covers her ears and shut her eyes tightly; she is so sure that it was going to bleed with her long nails dipping so deep into the back of her ears. Everything she did is in vain because she could still hear it and still sees it.
She needed to stop with that thought, she came to a conclusion.
Escape. She's going to escape – run away like a coward like how she was.
She's gonna leave Fairy Tail, for good…
He didn't know when it started or how it started. All he knew was that somehow he's getting further and further away from Lucy and hell, she hasn't been coming to guild.
He misses her, her smile that's like a light in his darkness, her vanilla scent, her chocolate brown eyes filled with happiness, her blonde hair that's as bright as the sun, everything even her weirdness. It felt so strange to him, when she isn't nearby, he didn't know if she is in trouble or not and the funny thing is, how he didn't thought of finding her at her apartment.
A sigh escaped his lips, catching the attention of the white haired teen sitting beside him with his blue best friend on her lap. "What's wrong Natsu?" She asked with concern in her voice.
"It's nothing." He replied quickly, obviously too quickly because she raised her eyebrow and obviously silently telling him to spill the bean or else. He let out another sigh, a sigh of defeat, really if looks can kill, he is probably dead. "It just that… Luce hasn't been coming to guild lately." It's true but it wasn't lately, it is… around two weeks after Lisanna 'came back to life' and it had been already two weeks since then. Even when she had come on the two weeks, she looked so tired like a zombie and was… about to… break.
He didn't know what caused it; she never told him even though he is her best friend and every time he tried to ask her, people always come and interrupted them.
An idea 'popped' up his mind, perhaps he would go sees her later; he missed her comfortable bed too. Glancing at Lisanna, he noted that she seems to be on deep thought.
"Lisanna?" He called, worried about his friend.
"Huh… oh Natsu… umm I-" A loud growled cut her off and they looked down to Natsu's stomach.
"Sorry Lisanna! I go get some food first!"
"Wait –" But he was too far away, her eyes cast down and the blue cat glanced at her silently
She stares at her reflection in the mirror, her once beautiful golden locks seems to have lost its shine, chocolate brown eyes were red and puffy from all the crying and there were also bags underneath, showing her lack of sleep. She looked so pathetic, so different.
The only sound was water splashing and she sighed as she turns off the water; really she needed to fix herself before leaving or even going out. She closed the bathroom door and taking off her clothes, she switch on the shower, letting the hot water slides down her body. The heat remained her so much about his heat that always warm her up during cold nights or when he gave her 'friendly hugs'. She closed her eyes and wonders if the water on her face was from the shower or her tears. She wants to believe it's from the shower.
Stepping out of the bathroom, she glances around her apartment.
It is pretty much empty with only the furniture inside. Like when she first came into the house. Next to the door was her pink suitcase and there's three large plastic bag which contains all her stuff that would soon be burn, after all, she didn't want to leave anything behind that would remind them of her. Even though the small piece of paper that is lying on the table would probably be a reminder.
Another sigh escaped her lips as she looked at the overall mirror. At least she looked better than before, though there's still parts where she would need to use make up to cover it up. And she noticed something surprising.
She's wearing the same outfit as she wore when she first met Na… him.
Funny, wouldn't it mean that this outfit is the beginning of their relationship and the end? Her eyes were becoming watery and she quickly blinked not letting them out. She's not going to cry anymore. Crying would show how weak and pathetic she is.
She walked to the door and switched off the lights, grabbing everything. Her hand on the door knob and she turned around one last time.
Right now, she can still stop but… stopping would means endless pain that is would be cause by him and he wouldn't even know it, even if he knows he probably feels guilty about it and she didn't want that, she cares about him too much to let him blame himself.
Her eyes landed on her bed, how long has it been since he laid there? She lost count. All she knew is that the bed is so cold every time she lied there, being not used to it and she regretted the fact that she would always chase him out. Her eyes shifted to the window covered by a pink curtain (which reminded her of his hair), really no matter how many times she said it, he would still come in from there, but he no longer did. Never will.
She wonders if not saying goodbye is a good idea. Well, technically she did left a photo of team Natsu standing in front of the guild with one single word on the table.
Another sigh, damn, she sighed too much and it needs to stop now. Her heart was still having doubts about leaving already and she didn't know what to do. Maybe she could just take a quick look and then leave? But what if she got caught? They wouldn't let her leave… well she can lie her way through… but it's not really something she want to do… what should she listen to? Her heart or her mind?
Her eyes glanced at the photo – the only thing that showed they had happy memories, prove that she was once Lucy of Fairy Tail and yet another sigh escaped. Damn it, this got to stop!
Just one glance and she will go.
In a second, she was out of her apartment and walking down the familiar road to guild.
The walk was slow since she had to burn the things and wants to remember ever bit of the town, the bookstore that she loved to go to with Levy, the sunflower (her favorite flower), the river – she can still remember that he and his blue cat had digged out a rainbow sakura tree and floated it down there when she was sick.
She stopped in front of the huge wooden doors of the guild, looking at the sign "Fairy Tail" and its symbol.
Maybe I shouldn't leave…
She shocked the thought away, thoughts of not leaving were too much but… there's no turning back.
She moved towards the left window, making sure to be as quiet as a mouse and not ne noticed by anyone. Looking through it, she saw two of her friends who is fighting as usual and wonder why Erza isn't stopping them. Her question was answered when she spotted the red haired teen siting at the table nearby, eating strawberry shortcake and her heart shattered when she saw the white haired teen who is his childhood friend and lover next to her with the flying blue cat on her lap, both laughing at their friends antics.
They didn't seem to miss her; maybe they don't even know her absence. Her heart ached so badly at the thought of it.
Quickly she walked away but still making sure that no one would notice her. She stood at a far distance from the guild and glanced at the building. Would I come back? She wondered, maybe, she doesn't know if she should when she might break the friendship she have with him… and he might not forgive her. Memories of the time she spent in there flashed in her mind – the happincess that she thought it would last forever, the good times and the bad times.
She smiled softly - something she haven't done for a while now - when she got an idea; she could say the thing she couldn't say to them personally. She bowed slowly, "Thank you for everything… I will never forget you guys…!" Her words came out louder than she expected and a gentle wind blows to the direction of the guild when the last word left her lips. Perhaps it's carrying her words to them.
She looked at the building again and unknowing, a tear left her eye.
She turned and ran as fast as she could to the station, not once looked back because if she did, she wouldn't want to leave anymore.
Thanks for reading! Please leave a review before moving on? Feel free to point out anything I need to improve on! Thanks again!