Did I mention that I thought people would be discouraged by the huge sign in the summary that says "I hate you all" in all caps?
Disclaimer: I don't know anything about the legal system in Britain, or, to be completely honestly, pretty much anywhere.
Alex looked at his schedule. He was supposed to be assessed over the next several days on various subjects, but they didn't even tell him where he was supposed to stay. Alex snorted at that. Typical MI6, always forgetting that their agents were actually human. (Well, actually, for Alex, it was debatable, so let's say 'living, breathing, sentient creatures' instead.)
Today he was going to be assessed on martial arts, and there was going to be some professional instructor coming in to analyse his every move. He was supposed to be dominating Alex in his job description, but considering that a teenager had to be blackmailed to work for the government organisation and ended up becoming their top agent, he really didn't think that highly of MI6's lower ranking agents.
Wait, no, he didn't think that highly of any of MI6's agents.
Because, really, how incompetent did your employees have to be for you to have to resort to blackmailing teenagers to be better than all the adults combined?
Oh, this was going to be fun.
It had been fun. The instructor was a pompous, haughty man, who thought Alex was just a little boy who had gotten lost and was completely helpless without his rich father.
He was put into place quickly.
When he found out that Alex was the agent he was supposed to be assessing, he was surprised and really not believing him.
"Oh, so now MI6 is hiring kids to do their work? I'm ashamed of—"
And that was all he got out before Alex kicked him in the gut.
"Oh, so you want to fight now, pretty boy? I'll show you how real men—"
And then Alex punched him in the face. Turns out he wasn't that far off the mark; they were as bad as he thought they would be.
"You really think you can beat me, a—"
Alex swept his legs out from below him, knocking him to the floor.
Scratch that, they were (amazingly) worse than he could've ever imagined.
"You can't do this to me! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA OF WHO I AM? I'M—"
Alex hit him in the solar plexus with a knife jab. It was entertaining at first, but now his talking was getting annoying.
How could anybody be that bad when working for the government?
The man wheezed for a few seconds before starting again.
"You'll... be... hearing... from..."
Alex kicked him again, not even trying to look awesome or with any style at all. He just really, really wanted the man to shut up.
The man was somehow still talking.
With a scream of rage, Alex attacked him again.
And that was the story of how Alex ended up standing above a man, who had a cracked jaw, 3 fractured ribs, a broken right arm, and a dislocated shoulder.
Of course, things never worked out that nicely in paperwork.
The man had pressed charges on assault and impersonation, which was why he was now sitting in the office across from Mr. Blunt and Mrs. Jones.
"Alex, it's your first day of assessments. How could you have possibly already made enemies?" Mrs. Jones said, still sucking on that ever-present peppermint.
Where did she keep those things, anyway?
Alex filed the question away in his mid somewhere. Maybe he could use them in a prank or something...
"Alex! Are you even listening to me?"
Alex was snapped out of his thoughts by Mrs. Jones's voice.
"Of course I was. Now, can we repeat what last few sentences that you said?"
Mrs. Jones was clearly annoyed, but repeated her sentence again. "I said, 'Why did you break Agent Gerald's arm, fracture 3 of his ribs, dislocate his left shoulder, and cause bruising over his entire body?'"
Alex blinked. "Oh, so his name was Gerald? I thought he was angry for no reason, but his parents must have hated him to name him Gerald..."
"Alex, that is beside the point! You are being immature when there are charges being pressed against you!"
"For what? I wasn't impersonating anyone, and he was supposed to be assessing me on my martial arts skills. If anything, I should be the one pressing charges for him not doing his job and potentially putting me in danger." Alex said, leaning back into his chair and examining his fingernails. He knew that they really couldn't do anything to him, and if Gerald (Alex still had to stifle a giggle at that) was still going to try to bring it into court, he would be laughed out of it.
After all, what kind of teenager would be able to beat up and utterly humiliate a fully trained adult who worked for the government? Legally, Alex had nothing to do with MI6, so they really couldn't do anything at all against him.
Why would MI6 ever hire a teenager?
The next day, the charges were dropped.
Alex couldn't stop laughing for 10 whole minutes, before realising that his assessments would be continued the next day after that short legal mishap.
He then began laughing again, mentally creating bets on how long they others would last.
Oh yes, this was going to be very fun.
Very, very fun.
Oh, hello there. These next few chapters are going to focus on Alex's assessments.