A/N: Written for the prompt: Faith is not entirely sure how she ended up living in a pillow fort in some guy's dorm room. But hell, it's not so bad for now and she's always liked cereal. Characters: Faith, Troy, Abed. Prompted by teaandhoney at livejournal.
Not sure if this is what the prompter wanted. I've never written Community before, so I'm a little nervous. This is based on the Community Ep 3.07 - Studies in Modern Movement. It's the one where Annie moves in with Troy and Abed and discovers that her 'bedroom' is actually a blanket fort (I know the prompt said pillow fort, but this was all my mind could come up with).
Disclaimer: I own nothing and am not trying to make any money off of this. Just playing around.
Pink pillows? What the hell?
The last thing I remember is kicking in the door to this dead wizard guy's crypt. Supposedly, dude had this ancient talisman buried with him, and I was supposed to snag it before the latest big bad wannabe could get his hands on it. Now, I'm thinking that crypt door led to hell, because I'm sitting on a really soft mattress, surrounded by lots of pink flowery decorations and fluffy stuffed animals. Damn. I thought I paid my dues in prison.
I look around and discover that the walls of my new prison aren't exactly walls. They're sheets – little kids' sheets. They have race cars and superheroes on them and a few are Star Wars themed. Maybe I was wrong about the hell thing. I might be trapped in Andrew's idea of heaven instead. I'm not sure which is worse.
Before I can check things out more, two guys pull back the sheets and pop their heads into the 'room'. They both look like they're in their early twenties and both are kinda cute. One's a little skinny for my tastes though, but I wouldn't mind taking the other for a spin. In fact, dude's a bonafide hottie. I might have to work on a hook-up once I figure out what the hell is going on around here.
The hottie black guy looks really shocked to see me. "Where's Annie?" he asks. "What did you do with her?"
"Who the hell's Annie?" I ask. "Dude, I don't know what you're talkin' about. All I know is I was kickin' in the door to this dead wizard guy's crypt and suddenly I'm trapped in this pink freak show. How old is this Annie chick anyway? Twelve? What kinda grown woman has furry pink pillows?"
"Oh God," hot guy says as he turns to his friend. His eyes are wide with panic. "Abed, what if Annie's been sucked into an alternate dimension and replaced with her evil and/or morally ambiguous sorta-twin? I mean look at her," he says as he points to my leather bustier. "She could be Annie if Annie was raised in the Mad Max dimension."
"Hey," I say loudly, trying to get the guy's attention, because they're both wicked deep in their own little world. The 'Andrew's heaven' theory is starting make more and more sense. Damn, my life sucks sometimes.
"What are we gonna do?" hot/annoying guy asks his friend. He's completely ignoring me (big surprise). "We need Inspector Spacetime," he continues. "Scratch that, we need Jeff. Jeff will know what to do. Call Jeff."
The guy I now know as 'Abed' looks a lot calmer than his friend. He cocks his head to the side and studies me for a moment. He looks curious as hell as he looks me over. It's almost like I'm another species.
"I see what's happening here," he finally says. "It's a classic case of jumping the shark. This isn't a dimensional swap, it's a recast. Annie's so angry with us that she's moved out and now we're stuck with her replacement."
"Seriously?" the other guy asks. "You really think she's that mad at us?" He actually looks heartbroken. Dude's weird, but he's so freakin' cute.
Abed steps into my space and starts studying me again like I'm some sort of science fair experiment. When he touches my hair, I slap his hand away.
"Dude, watch where you put those hands of yours! You might lose 'em."
He doesn't respond to me and his face just stays blank as hell. It's majorly freaky. I'm really not sure about this guy. I can't decide if he's just weird or if he needs to be slayed. Maybe he's a robot?
"Yes, it's just like I thought," Abed remarks to his friend. (Again, it's like I don't even exist.) "This is what happened with the real Becky on Roseanne. Annie's been replaced with another brunette and we're just supposed to pretend like nothing's different. She's our new Annie."
"Ohhh," the other guy nods as if this batshit situation makes perfect sense. "OR… maybe this is a Three's Company thing? Maybe she's supposed to be like Chrissy's cousin?"
"Good point," Abed agrees as he rubs his chin thoughtfully. "She does have a very different vibe from the original Annie. I doubt those two would be cast for the same type of roles. Excellent observation, Troy. I think you're right. This isn't a case of 'recasting' it's an 'exit stage left'. Annie's left the show and she's been replaced by an actress with similar physical attributes, but instead of her being the same character, she's the bad-girl sister/cousin that takes Annie's place in the cast."
I've had enough at this point. "Hey," I snap. "Standing right here. What the hell is goin' on? Where am I and is this supposed to be a TV show or somethin'?"
"Technically no," the guy I now realized is 'Troy' says. "Abed just likes to see the world as one big TV show."
"It makes life more interesting," Abed confirms with a nod. "Most people don't realize it, but real life situations often fall into one TV Trope or another. Life's much less confusing if you view it through a camera lens."
"Good to know," I sigh. "Look guys, no offense, but I don't have time for this. I need to get my ass outta here. I gotta figure out how the hell I got here and how the hell I get back. I gotta job to do."
"Interesting," Abed remarks. "It sounds like you're leaning toward the 'alternate dimension' theory."
"Sounds like," I agree reluctantly. "I sure as hell don't wanna add more fuel to the crazy fire you two got goin', but it is the most logical explanation. It makes way more sense than all that TV show crap."
"So, if you're trapped in our dimension, where's the real Annie?" Abed asks.
"Probably in a vamp infested cemetery in Cleveland. Chill," I add when I see the looks of horror on the guy's faces. "Your Annie chick'll be fine. I had backup. They'll protect her. That's what they do. They're all about damsels in distress and shit."
"That's good, but how do we switch you two back?" Troy asks. "Don't take this the wrong way, but we want our Annie. We love her. She's part of the study group and she's our new roomie. She wouldn't do well in your Mad Max world. She can't handle chaos."
"Relax dude. My friend Willow's probably workin' on a spell to bring her back right now. Maybe we should just sit here, watch some TV, and wait it out. You guys' got somethin' to eat? Cause I'm starvin'."
Troy smiles and reaches out for my elbow. I decide not to slug him. Freaks or not, these guys do seem pretty harmless, so I allow him to escort me to their kitchen.
"Let me show you our cereal collection," he beams proudly. "We have fifteen different flavors. I'll make you anything you want. Do you take real milk or soy?"
"Here," Abed says as he pulls out a silver cigarette case. "Enjoy a candy cigarette while you wait."
"Sure. Why the hell not?"
I take the candy cigarette and have a seat while I wait for Troy to make me a bowl of Lucky Charms. Might as well just go with the flow. I never thought I'd say this, but the Hellmouth is totally normal compared to this nuthouse. But hey, at least they have lots of cereal here. I dig cereal. Things could definitely be worse. On the other hand, it'd probably be a good thing if Red gets me back to reality soon. I'm afraid I might snap and kick these dudes' asses. The hot one keeps staring at my chest and now they're discussing renaming their monkey from 'Annie's Boobs' to 'Fake Annie's Boobs'. To make matters worse, they say they've got some friends coming over. I'm not so sure I want to meet the people who hang out with these two. I gotta get outta here.