Secret Santa
Day Twenty One: Part Four~

The fukutaicho quarters back at the fifth division were silent. Momo closed the door and leaned against the door taking a deep breath. "Why does it feel so lonely despite the fact I was just with friends? I mean, come on!"

A few more hot tears streamed down her cheeks. "Eventually you're going to need to face that man and your fear of him."

"What ever for?"

"I think you know as well as I that despite the fact you don't like the idea of Shiro-chan being in a family unit with that man you can't deny the fact making him choose between you or them is going to be wrong. If you try such a move, your relationship with him will never mend even if you do change your behavior."

"What ever for?"

"At this point in time neither one of you are a safe bet, but Matsumoto Rangiku is. Shiro-chan will side with his mother and she will side with the side that she feels will protect him. If you try to push Ichimaru away at this point without any justification you'll only succeed in upsetting him again and that will be enough for her to make the final decision of you no longer being in his life. You don't want that, do you?"

"No, I don't. What is the first thing I need to do to get back in Shiro-chan's graces?"

"Apologize. However, he's not the only person you need to apologize too..."

"I can't ever forgive that man."

"This isn't about forgiving him."

"But I do have to forgive him to apologize for my own behavior."

"Well, I was talking about asking Rangiku for forgiveness there, but no... you don't need to forgive him to apologize for the things that you have done. You just have to admit that you did something wrong. But what did you do that warrants you asking him for forgiveness."

"I blamed him for Shiro-chan getting sick when it was my fault. I can't really apologize to Shiro-chan or Rangiku-san until I apologize for that mistake because it feels wrong trying to fix things with them when I haven't fixed that."

Momo opened the door to her quarters up and headed to the forth division. She headed back to the room she knew Ichimaru was in, only to find that he was missing. As she turned to leave with a rather puzzled look on her face, Isane came by. "If you are looking for Ichimaru, he went with Hanataro to take care of Hitsugaya Taicho. But I don't think it wise that you go near Hitsugaya Taicho just yet. His panic attacks can be very bad and he doesn't need another shock."

"I know... I just need to talk to Ichimaru for a bit."

Letting out a deep sigh the female headed rather reluctantly to the tenth division and headed to the captains quarters. "How exactly am I going to be able to speak with Ichimaru?"

"Hinamori?" The small female looked up to see the taicho of the thirteen division staring at her. "Hitsugaya... well, it wouldn't be a good idea for him to see you as he's still rather off."

"I just want to speak with Ichimaru."

"I'm not sure if that is a good idea. If the two of you cause a disturbance outside of Hitsugaya's room, then it could cause problems. I doubt Gin's going to leave that child's side."

"I'm not here to argue with him, or tell him to get away from Shiro-chan despite the fact I honestly don't like him or the fact he's near my little brother." Momo glanced at the ground. "I kind of need to apologize about something."

The man stared at her for a few minutes. "I am not sure if this is the best idea letting you speak with him, but if you really are just going to prologize then I think it would be best for everyone that you speak with Gin as soon as possible. Follow me."

"Where were you heading?" Momo spoke up, frowning as she did so?"

"I was heading back to the tenth division offices to see if I could get some of the paperwork done for them as its probably going to be stressful the next few days. I want to cut down on the stress as much as possible." The two arrived at the division and Ukitake stepped into the room. "Gin-kun... someone is here to speak with you."

"Just have them come in."

"No... actually, you should go and speak with them outside the room. Hanataro and I will stay with him."

There came a deep sigh from the silver haired man and he appeared at the doorway ruffling his hair. He had taken the time to throw on a uniform, only to have said uniform look as messy as his hair currently was. "You... what do you want."

"I... uhh... I..."

Gin turned to leave. "If you have nothing to say."

"Wait... I want to talk." Momo glanced at the ground. "You're..."

The door clicked shut and she thought she had lost her chance. However, the man spoke up. "I got it. You're afraid of me. You have the right to be. What is it that you want to talk about?"

"I'm not going to forgive you." The female blurted out. She then raised her head up and waved her hands. "That's not how I wanted to say it! I mean that I'm not going to try to keep you away from Shiro-chan, but I'm not going to forgive you and if you manage to hurt him that I won't... I won't..."

"Won't be able to do anything in repercussion because you would wet yourself if you even tried." The man let out a deep sigh. "Seriously... what happened to the girl that attacked me when she thought I'd killed her captain?" Gin looked at her. "Oh wait... you were in blind rages both times. Don't worry, you're really good at going into a blind rage."

"That isn't funny!" Momo felt her cheeks flush up. "I mean what I say that I won't... I won't..."

"Got it. If that is all..."

"No, it isn't! I want to apologize for blaming you for Shiro-chan getting sick when it was really my fault."

Gin paused and leaned against the wall and covered his hands with his eyes. "Why the hell are you apologizing to me?"

"I... because..."

"I don't even like you, so it is no skin off my back if you wrong me. You do realize that. I couldn't care if you died." Gin's rieatsu flared out. "I don't like the way you treat Shiro-chan, never had. If ordered I would kill you on the spot and the only regret I would have would be that Shiro-chan would be upset that you were dead. Though I wonder if he'll feel that way now."

"You're cruel. How can anyone take someone's apology and turn it around and pretty much spit on it like you have!" Momo glanced at the ground and felt her body tremble. Her hands were at her side and the knuckled turned white.

"You still didn't answer my question. Why did ya think to apologize to me?"

"Because I can't begin to make up for what I've done wrong until I ask for those I've wronged to forgive me. I can't... well, I did do wrong by you."

Gin let out a deep sigh and she saw his foot suddenly appear as he stepped closer and she found her body freezing up. A hand came out to ruffle the top of her head and she flinched out of fear that he would hurt her. Her eyes opened back up, surprised to find the touch to actually be gentle. "Seems like ya've grown up a bit. You still shouldn't apologize to the likes of me. I'd say all is forgiven, but I don't deserve to forgive anyone, so don't worry about it."

The man then pulled away. "When do you plan on apologizing to Shiro-chan?"

Momo glanced up to see that he was leaning against the wall. "I can't... I mean..."

"You just had the guts to ask me of all people for forgiveness. Why can't ya?"

"Ran-chan said... she said I'm forbidden to go near Shiro-chan without her permission."

Gin let out a deep sigh. "Don't worry about what she said either. While you should give him a couple of days to recover, you have my permission to come back and apologize as soon as the time is right."

Momo shivered as she started at him. "His behavior... its creepy. How can he be so nice and cruel at the same time? It's sickening." She then closed her eyes shut tightly. "Even so, I won't ever forgive you and I'll always hate you!"

"Hai, hai. Not so loud. I don't deserve forgiveness anyways, so again... don't worry about it." The small female heard the door click again and then found herself hurrying back to her division to hide under her covers.