Hey, sorry it's taken so long to post but I was writing one chapter and then this suddenly popped into my head and I had to write it! This is set a year into their relationship, so no children (but don't worry their baby boy will appear soon).

"You never knew the last time you were seeing someone. You didn't know when the last argument happened, or the last time you had sex, or the last time you looked into their eyes and thanked God they were in your life. After they were gone? That was all you thought about. Day and night." — J.R. Ward

Emma often teased Derek with reminders of the worry that he'd inflicted when he'd been shot, mostly because Derek had never tired of telling the story to his family about the time Emma had done the same thing to him.

What could she say, payback was a bitch.


Penelope Garcia looked over anxiously at her best friend. She'd walked passed his door five times that morning and each time he just looked more unhappy then he had before; usually she would have gone in and asked but she had a feeling it was to do with Emma. It wasn't that she didn't like Morgan's girlfriend, if anything she loved her, but she still wasn't quite sure how to give advice on the relationship, she didn't want to be accused of stirring. She didn't get a choice in the matter however, as Derek looked up and motioned for her to come in. Garcia sat down and picked up one of the small fuzzy balls she'd given him so she had something to do with her hands.

"I don't know why people get into relationships, they're too difficult." He finally threw out exasperatedly, slamming his pen down on the table for good measure. "I mean, we're meant to understand each other's jobs and the constraints that it will put on our relationship! So why does she suddenly decide to be unreasonable! She's missed plenty of our dates but do I ever complain? No!"

"Honey, you need to back up a bit and tell me what happened." Garcia soothed as he got more and more irate.

"We were meant to go out for our first anniversary but we had to go on the Slayer case. I mean you know how bad that case was and how quickly we had to leave, okay so I should have phoned her but I forgot and we were so busy… but she's completely lost her mind over. She said she was sat there for hours waiting for me. I mean I feel bad about that but she's gone off the deep end!"

"You left her sat there, alone, with everyone whispering about her on your first anniversary and you didn't even call her?" Garcia asked incredulously. "If Kevin did that to me…"

"It wasn't for fun! The case was the only thing I was thinking about! I did apologise when I got all her messages…"

"With flowers, chocolates and grovelling. As well as the present for your anniversary?"

"Well, not as such. It was more a voice message." Derek bit his lip and leaned back as he saw the fury in Garcia's face.

"I thought you were a ladies man? Surely you know how to treat a lady." Derek thought about that, and realised that while he knew how to get ladies, keeping them had never been something he'd had to worry about.

"Yeah but she's completely lost it with me. She won't even answer my calls anymore! What am I meant to do? Maybe we should just end it; I mean this isn't going to be the last time that we have this problem with our work schedule."

"Derek! You're in love with each other! And don't try to deny it; I see the way you look at each other. You'll work through it, you just have to adjust." Derek didn't look convinced but he didn't have time to answer back as his phone rung.


Emma was angry. No, Emma was so furious was Derek she wanted to punch his smug face into next week. Unfortunately she couldn't, she was stuck undercover with a member of another FBI special crimes unit. She hated working undercover with strangers, it wasn't the lack of trust or anything logistical; it was the fact you couldn't have a decent conversation with them. And considering she was pretending to be stripper in a seedy lap dancing club to catch a killer, it would be really nice to laugh with one of her friends about it. Laughing was the only way to get through something like this.

She pushed her hair out of her face and continued applying make-up to her already caked face as she waited for her cue on her 'first night.' If she hadn't been so angry with Derek she would have felt guilty, of course she was doing this for a job, but she was still his girlfriend and usually she would have called him to tell him what was happening. She had been in a similar situation before, dressing up and dancing provocatively in a club to try and entice a killer, and they'd spoken beforehand with Derek telling her it was fine. And then when she got to her apartment late in the night she'd found Derek waiting for her on the doorstep (her neighbour had complained to her the next day about the 'vagrant' who'd somehow got into their building). He'd wanted to see her, be close to her, it was almost primal his urge to know that she was still his girl. Not that Emma had minded, she'd clung to him tightly, feeling almost dirty from having a killer's mouth on hers but Derek made her feel better. She felt like she was his.

Now, however, she was almost sadistically looking forward to what she was about to do; knowing that it would make Derek uncomfortable. This was why she needed Eliza to, so they could rip Derek to pieces. Unfortunately she was stuck with some quiet agent who hadn't looked at her once since they got here.

"Excuse me ladies, the boss would like to see you." One of the sleazy bouncer appeared at the door wearing a deceptively smart black shirt and suit. We both looked at each other before nodding and heading out the door; Emma nervously tapped her fingers against her bare thigh as they walked through the peeling corridors of the back rooms, she felt naked both from her non-existent costume and her lack of gun. She knew the two teams were outside but it would take them time to get in there and if something went wrong then there was a good chance she could get hurt. She shook her head and tried to focus, if she believed her story then so would Hayle.

Hayle's office was spacious and luxurious, everything that you would expect from a gangster. There was even the loving picture of his Mom displayed on his desk. She risked a peak over at Austen, the other agent but only received a view of her curly brown hair. Hayle was in front of us, sat at the large mahogany desk wearing a black suit; it seemed to be the uniform around here. He was short and thin but with an air of confidence that made him seem larger than life, his domineering presence made my entire body shake with fear. He knew.

"I thought the FBI was smarter than this? I mean I kill all those people and they send two women in to try and bring me down." Hayle jeered and his confirmation of her fears turned her insides to ice. She quickly pressed the small button on the inside of the bracelet she was wearing; signalling to the team that they were in trouble. Derek's face popped into her head at that moment, she wasn't angry anymore, she just wanted to see him again.

The two of them reacted as quickly as they could but five bouncers appeared from nowhere and launched at the two agents; Emma punched one of the men but was gripped by the other allowing the first to get his own back on Emma and send a vicious punch into her stomach. Austen had fought valiantly but with three beefy men bearing down on her she was soon being held down like Emma. Both of them clung on desperately to the knowledge that their teams would be bursting into the room any minute now, they just had to hold on.

Sadly Hayle also knew that the time he had with the agents was short and he wanted to make them pay. So without a second thought he drew his pistol from its holster and aimed it at the Austen.


Derek dropped the phone onto the desk as he stared at nothing. Garcia had no idea what had been said on the phone but every time she asked she just received the silent horrified look that seemed paralysed on his face. He never really heard Garcia's pleas for information; he was trying to process what he'd just heard. She was dead. Emma, his Emma was dead. Their argument was the last conversation they'd had. She couldn't be dead, they hadn't made up yet. He hadn't given her chocolates and flowers, gone down on his knees and begged her forgiveness until she gave in and kissed him. She couldn't be dead, she just couldn't.

"I need to see her." His voice was monotonous, dead. It seemed fitting, if Emma was dead then what did he have left.

"Emma? Is she hurt? Which hospital?" Garcia reached out and stroked his unresponsive hand.

"Dead." His voice cracked as he said the dreaded word aloud.

"What?" Garcia whispered but he couldn't answer as he dissolved into choking sobs. She couldn't be dead. He loved her, God he loved her! His whole heart seemed to have shattered as he wished he could bring her back, he would do anything to hold her again. Garcia jumped up and hugged him tightly against her breast as she yelled for the others.

"I need to see her, I need to apologise." He gasped out and Garcia felt her own tears flow down her cheeks as she witnessed her best friend break down. Garcia kissed his head and promised him quietly that she'd get him to Emma.

The entire team went with Derek, not that he noticed them. He was so fixated on being with Emma, holding her limp body and apologise profusely even if she couldn't hear him anymore. This was his entire fault; only this morning he'd contemplated ending the relationship. How could he ever believe he could live without Emma? She had been the best thing in his life and now she was gone forever. I love you, Emma.

Eliza met them on the door looking atrocious, her skin sallow and tear stained but when she saw Derek she bit her lip and looked almost nervous.

"Derek I'm so sorry."

"Was it quick?" He asked hoarsely, praying she didn't suffer anymore then she had to.

"Derek I'm sorry. We believed it too and you weren't answering your phone."

"What's going on?" JJ asked as she held Derek upright.

"There was a mistaken identity. A SWAT team got in there before us and everything happened so quickly that we believed Em was dead, until we had to identify the body."

"Emma's alive?" Derek shouldn't have got his hopes up as much as he did but even the tiniest bit of hope that she was alive made his heart leap. Surely he couldn't be that lucky?

"Yeah, she's alive. She was shot but it was a flesh wound, I mean it was enough to cause her to lose consciousness but she'll be fine." Derek took a few seconds to process this new information; he couldn't believe it until he saw her, held her in his arms and kissed her senseless. Eliza seemed to understand his need as she pointed him in the direction of Emma's room. He ran all the way down the corridor and stormed into the room Eliza had pointed out.

Emma was sat on the bed, still in shock from watching another agent die in front of her, and nearly die herself. All she wanted was Derek's arms around her. She just wanted to apologise to him and declare her undying love. She looked up when she heard speedy footfalls outside her room only for Derek to appear a second later. Both of them cried when they set eyes on each other again and Derek lunged across the room and pulled her into his arms. He'd never felt so happy in his life, she was alive. She was alive and he was never, ever going to lose her again.

The "I love you"'s and "I'm sorry"'s merged together into a stream of unintelligible babble as Derek kissed and caressed her, enjoying the feel of her warm, living body. Just as Emma was sinking into his embraces Derek pulled away from her so he could look into those sad green eyes.

"Marry me."


"I never want to be without you. So please, become my wife."

"Yes." Emma smiled for the first time that day before pulling her fiancé in for another kiss.

"I love you." They promised one another sincerely as they lay down on the bed and just held one another. Derek relishing her every heartbeat as he promised that he would never take her for granted again.